when can a child choose

[kirtdemientieff]

What is the name of your state? alaska
My daughter is 13. My ex and I have 50/50 custody. Initially we had our daughter week on, week off. Over the last 6mos our daughter started staying with me more often, sometimes to the chagrin of my ex. I started keeping a calendar of how much time our daughter was staying with me. It shows better than 75% of the time over the last 6mos. Recently my ex filed with the court to enforce 50/50 custody, in other words she wants our daughter to be forced to stay with her half of the time. My daughter wants to stay home most of the time (my house) is a judge likely to order that 50/50 be observed, or will he likely set it to about 60/40, or what might happen here.

 

[stepmomndad]

Well, to answer your question of the thread topic, your daughter can choose when she's 18. Until then, you need to follow the court order as it is or get it modified. Going into court, the judge may take the daughter's wish into consideration, but doesn't necessarily have to do what she wishes. Until a new court order is in place, please keep sending her the way ordered. Otherwise, you could be found in contempt. Your 13 year old does not get to dictate what will happen.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? alaska
My daughter is 13. My ex and I have 50/50 custody. Initially we had our daughter week on, week off. Over the last 6mos our daughter started staying with me more often, sometimes to the chagrin of my ex. I started keeping a calendar of how much time our daughter was staying with me. It shows better than 75% of the time over the last 6mos. Recently my ex filed with the court to enforce 50/50 custody, in other words she wants our daughter to be forced to stay with her half of the time. My daughter wants to stay home most of the time (my house) is a judge likely to order that 50/50 be observed, or will he likely set it to about 60/40, or what might happen here.

Wow! You are in contempt. Do you also allow your daughter to choose when to go to school or the doctors?? I see Mom getting PC and you getting EOW. Good job Dad.

 

[kirtdemientieff]

to clear up

Mostly when my daughter would stay at my house more often it was agreable, meaning that my ex would drop her off., Or my daughter would call, and I would ask her if she asked her mom, and she would. It only became a problem as the pattern developed. My daughter would stay several extra days with me, and it just continued that way. For you to figure that I don't make her go to school, or go to sleep, I can only say you are wrong. My ex tells our daughter she is fat, and they argue and fight. My ex moved out of town and our daughter does not like it there. If my daughter did not want to come to my house I would question myself about why, and try to remedy the situation, I wouldn't have the court force her to come to my house. Courts fall way short on the family justice. It is apparent that the one who is willing to lie the most, and disregard common sense will win. Even if the court does ordeer her to abide by 50/50 my daughter will still end up at my house more often.

 

[stepmomndad]

Mostly when my daughter would stay at my house more often it was agreable, meaning that my ex would drop her off., Or my daughter would call, and I would ask her if she asked her mom, and she would. It only became a problem as the pattern developed. My daughter would stay several extra days with me, and it just continued that way. For you to figure that I don't make her go to school, or go to sleep, I can only say you are wrong. My ex tells our daughter she is fat, and they argue and fight. My ex moved out of town and our daughter does not like it there. If my daughter did not want to come to my house I would question myself about why, and try to remedy the situation, I wouldn't have the court force her to come to my house. Courts fall way short on the family justice. It is apparent that the one who is willing to lie the most, and disregard common sense will win.Even if the court does ordeer her to abide by 50/50 my daughter will still end up at my house more often.

First, I can see why it became a problem for mom when her daughter just continued to make the decision to not come or say longer. Yes, she may have agreed, at first, but the court order is still in place and can be enforced.

Second, no one "figures" that you don't make her go to school or to sleep. But, if you are letting your daughter dictate something that could end in you losing custody, what would stop her from deciding she's not going to school? Or, that she's not going to bed? Or, she's not going to the dentist?

And, last, the Even if the court does ordeer her to abide by 50/50 my daughter will still end up at my house more often. part. How do you figure? Say you go in for a modification and you lose, they say 50/50 stays. Then, your daughter decides she's not going to mom's. Mom takes you for contempt. You lose 50/50. Now, mom has primary and you have standard. How is your daughter your house more often?? Not a good attitude to have.

 

[Ohiogal]

Mostly when my daughter would stay at my house more often it was agreable, meaning that my ex would drop her off., Or my daughter would call, and I would ask her if she asked her mom, and she would. It only became a problem as the pattern developed. My daughter would stay several extra days with me, and it just continued that way. For you to figure that I don't make her go to school, or go to sleep, I can only say you are wrong. My ex tells our daughter she is fat, and they argue and fight. My ex moved out of town and our daughter does not like it there. If my daughter did not want to come to my house I would question myself about why, and try to remedy the situation, I wouldn't have the court force her to come to my house. Courts fall way short on the family justice. It is apparent that the one who is willing to lie the most, and disregard common sense will win. Even if the court does ordeer her to abide by 50/50 my daughter will still end up at my house more often.

Dude you have a court order. You need to follow it. Justice is you interfering with mom's relationship. Have you suggested counseling for the issues?

 

[Just Blue]

Mostly when my daughter would stay at my house more often it was agreable, meaning that my ex would drop her off., Or my daughter would call, and I would ask her if she asked her mom, and she would. It only became a problem as the pattern developed. My daughter would stay several extra days with me, and it just continued that way. For you to figure that I don't make her go to school, or go to sleep, I can only say you are wrong. My ex tells our daughter she is fat, and they argue and fight. My ex moved out of town and our daughter does not like it there. If my daughter did not want to come to my house I would question myself about why, and try to remedy the situation, I wouldn't have the court force her to come to my house. Courts fall way short on the family justice. It is apparent that the one who is willing to lie the most, and disregard common sense will win. Even if the court does ordeer her to abide by 50/50 my daughter will still end up at my house more often.

Please GOD! Tell me you are not a registered voter....

 

[penelope10]

Mostly when my daughter would stay at my house more often it was agreable, meaning that my ex would drop her off., Or my daughter would call, and I would ask her if she asked her mom, and she would. It only became a problem as the pattern developed. My daughter would stay several extra days with me, and it just continued that way. For you to figure that I don't make her go to school, or go to sleep, I can only say you are wrong. My ex tells our daughter she is fat, and they argue and fight. My ex moved out of town and our daughter does not like it there. If my daughter did not want to come to my house I would question myself about why, and try to remedy the situation, I wouldn't have the court force her to come to my house. Courts fall way short on the family justice. It is apparent that the one who is willing to lie the most, and disregard common sense will win. Even if the court does ordeer her to abide by 50/50 my daughter will still end up at my house more often.

I'd follow the advice already given. Your daughter needs to visit you according to what the court has set out for now. If you want to go back and try to have the order modified that's entirely up to you.

Teenage girls can be a handful at times. Unless you have heard Mom say hurtful things yourself, you need to stay out of their discussions. Even the best of kids can at times try the manipulation game of playing Mom VS Dad (even in intact families).

 

[stealth2]

You're not the brightest bulb in the pack, are ya, son?

You are in contempt of the order when you allow your daughter to dictate where she's going to stay. A judge is unlikely to find that amusing. Expect to be told that you are to enforce the 50/50 split, or Mom will get more time based on your behavior.