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When I am concerned for her safety!

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suneegirl21

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Illinois

My ex boyfriend have I have a 20 month old daughter. When we seperated he moved 2 1/2 hours away. We have no court order and have not gone to court at all. Our agreement was that he would have her every other weekend and/ or whenever we discussed holiday etc. Well every time he brings her back I have to take her to the DR cause she comes back sick. The last time was pink eye and he didnt even tell me about it and would not pay half the dr bill or take her himself. Then the time before that she was coughing all night becuase he is smoking around her and she has asthma. He brought her back last time filthy with black under her toe nails etc. and just smelled like a damn bar. Every time he has her is something that she has to suffer from. So finally this weekend was his weekend and he never showed up. Did not call or anything then called 2 days later asking for her. I said "this was your weekend and you didnt pick her up". He said well I want her next weekend and I said "no thats my weekend I already have plans". Which I do. I do not want him taking her because I dont want her to get sick and I dont want himt o confuse her and showing up when convenient for him. Can I just let him take me to court since we have never ben married if I am seriousley worried about her health when she is with him??? He does not pay anything on her and refuses to help pay any of her medical bills or daycare. I cant keep doing this?? I cant afford the dr alone! Please advise when enough is enough!!!!
 


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Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
No, you do not need to let him have her.

Stop your whining about no support, ****************************you never got court orders, so guess what? He doesn't owe you a dime.
 
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suneegirl21

Junior Member
Shay-Pari'e said:
No, you do not need to let him have her.

Stop your whining about no support, ****************************you never got court orders, so guess what? He doesn't owe you a dime.
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Ummmm Im not whining idiot! Im saying that he doesnt give a crap about her becuase he has no desire to help pay for her dr bills and her child care. . . i barely even mentioned the oney in here, i know that it is a huge factor though. I know he doesnt owe me, but I also dont owe him the privelage to see his gorgeous daughter.
 
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suneegirl21

Junior Member
angiesmom said:
Did he sign the birth certificate or a recognition of parentage?
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Yes he did sign the birth certificate. But when I seen a lawyer they said becuase we have never been married and there was not a paternity test taken, he has no rights to her and I am not owed child support. He has accused her of not being his also. . . And I dont want her to ever hear that out of his mouth. I dont want her confused and hes always trying to pump her for information and shes only 20 months. When shes 6 shes going to going through hell with him.
 
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angiesmom

Member
suneegirl21 said:
Yes he did sign the birth certificate. But when I seen a lawyer they said becuase we have never been married and there was not a paternity test taken, he has no rights to her and I am not owed child support. He has accused her of not being his also. . . And I dont want her to ever hear that out of his mouth. I dont want her confused and hes always trying to pump her for information and shes only 20 months. When shes 6 shes going to going through hell with him.
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If there's no visitation order, you don't have to let him see her. He can take you to court to get visitation, though. As far as child support, you have the right to file for child support. If he contests it on the basis that he thinks he's not the father, the court will order a paternity test.
 
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moburkes

Senior Member
suneegirl21 said:
What is the name of your state? Illinois

My ex boyfriend have I have a 20 month old daughter.
I cant afford the dr alone! Please advise when enough is enough!!!!
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So, why haven't you taken him to court to establish that he IS the father, and ask for a child support order, and custody order?
 
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suneegirl21

Junior Member
angiesmom said:
If there's no visitation order, you don't have to let him see her. He can take you to court to get visitation, though. As far as child support, you have the right to file for child support. If he contests it on the basis that he thinks he's not the father, the court will order a paternity test.
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I figured if he takes me to court then I can tell them about the way that she comes back from his house. . Its no way to raise a child and maybe they will give him supervised visits or something so she doesnt come back smeilling like pack of smokes!. She is on breathing treatments and comes back smelling and coughs and is up all night for nights all the time becuase of it. . . .
 
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suneegirl21

Junior Member
moburkes said:
So, why haven't you taken him to court to establish that he IS the father, and ask for a child support order, and custody order?
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Becuase I dont have the money. I have a great job but I do it on my own. Every lawyer wants like $1500 down and I cant do that. . . I pay for everything for her. I dont want her to be a pay check I want her to be a child and not be stuck in the middle of this crap. So I was jsut being really nice and letting him see her but I dont want to be taking her to the dr 24/7 either.
 
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Neal1421

Senior Member
suneegirl21 said:
Becuase I dont have the money. I have a great job but I do it on my own. Every lawyer wants like $1500 down and I cant do that. . . I pay for everything for her. I dont want her to be a pay check I want her to be a child and not be stuck in the middle of this crap. So I was jsut being really nice and letting him see her but I dont want to be taking her to the dr 24/7 either.
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You do realize though at any point he can petition the court for paternity and visitation without you filing for child support, don't you?

Also, you can file for child support without a lawyer.

Just a thought.
 
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angiesmom

Member
suneegirl21 said:
Becuase I dont have the money. I have a great job but I do it on my own. Every lawyer wants like $1500 down and I cant do that. . . I pay for everything for her. I dont want her to be a pay check I want her to be a child and not be stuck in the middle of this crap. So I was jsut being really nice and letting him see her but I dont want to be taking her to the dr 24/7 either.
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You don't necesarily need a lawyer to file for child support.
 
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suneegirl21

Junior Member
Neal1421 said:
You do realize though at any point he can petition the court for paternity and visitation without you filing for child support, don't you?

Also, you can file for child support without a lawyer.

Just a thought.
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But then I could file for child support then right???
 
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