When to get paternity test?

[Nicaho]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

My ex girlfriend left me at 4 months pregnant. The baby will be here sometime in the next 4 weeks.

I'm 99.999% sure the baby is mine but I know that I have to get the test done to protect me in the future and even for that .001% chance.

What is the best way to go about this? Do I let her know that I am going to do it? Do I sign the birth certificate at the hospital and then get it? Do I wait to file for visitation and then get one? I am just so confused. I know parenting time will be an issue in the future and that it is important to have the test done at some point

We have talked about visitation only a little because when I brought it up a couple months ago she became very emotional and I didn't want to stress her out while pregnant. I told her we would talk more after the baby arrived. I stated that I just wanted to go by the Indiana guidelines. She got upset of the thought of me taking the baby on my own at 4-6 months. If I leave it up to her I know it will be at least a year. We already agreed on a few nights a week for a couple hours to start out with. I wish we could just agree on our own but I know she is going to be resistant to the guidelines. Do I go to court now or do I wait a few months and see how she is? Should I start asking for my "own" time at 4 months and if she doesn't give do I go to court at say 5 or 6 months? My biggest fear is that if I do take to court, that she will keep me from seeing the baby at all until the hearing. Can I get into court faster after being in the child's life for a few months?

Sorry so many questions in one thread but I just have so many! I want to be a great dad and I want to do what is best for my daughter. I know many of you have more experience than me and can point me in the right direction.

I posted last month on wanting overnights with the newborn. I always dreamed of having that first night with the baby but I have come to realize that it isn't the most important thing. I can wait on that until she is old enough and no reason to try to rush it. Spending the most time as I am legally allowed is all I want. More would be great but I will take what I can get and be happy and make the most of it!

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

My ex girlfriend left me at 4 months pregnant. The baby will be here sometime in the next 4 weeks.

I'm 99.999% sure the baby is mine but I know that I have to get the test done to protect me in the future and even for that .001% chance.

Okay.

What is the best way to go about this? Do I let her know that I am going to do it? Do I sign the birth certificate at the hospital and then get it? Do I wait to file for visitation and then get one? I am just so confused.

YOU DO NOT want to sign the affidavit of paternity to be placed on the birth certificate IF you want a DNA test. What you do is file a court case for paternity/custody/visitation/support.

I know parenting time will be an issue in the future and that it is important to have the test done at some point

Then file in court.

We have talked about visitation only a little because when I brought it up a couple months ago she became very emotional and I didn't want to stress her out while pregnant. I told her we would talk more after the baby arrived. I stated that I just wanted to go by the Indiana guidelines. She got upset of the thought of me taking the baby on my own at 4-6 months.

Oh well. Sounds like you need to go to court.

If I leave it up to her I know it will be at least a year. We already agreed on a few nights a week for a couple hours to start out with. I wish we could just agree on our own but I know she is going to be resistant to the guidelines. Do I go to court now or do I wait a few months and see how she is?

File in court immediately if YOU want to have enforceable rights. It will take a few months to see what is going on. If you don't file you will always be dictated to by what SHE decides.

Should I start asking for my "own" time at 4 months and if she doesn't give do I go to court at say 5 or 6 months? My biggest fear is that if I do take to court, that she will keep me from seeing the baby at all until the hearing. Can I get into court faster after being in the child's life for a few months?

No you cannot get into court faster if the baby is older.

Sorry so many questions in one thread but I just have so many! I want to be a great dad and I want to do what is best for my daughter. I know many of you have more experience than me and can point me in the right direction.

As soon as the baby is born file.

I posted last month on wanting overnights with the newborn. I always dreamed of having that first night with the baby but I have come to realize that it isn't the most important thing. I can wait on that until she is old enough and no reason to try to rush it. Spending the most time as I am legally allowed is all I want. More would be great but I will take what I can get and be happy and make the most of it!

okay. Parenting time guidelines are GUIDELINES by the way. They are not limits.

 

[Nicaho]

No you cannot get into court faster if the baby is older.

I was told and probably wrong, but something about if I had regular visits for a few months and then went to court that it would get to a hearing faster as not to keep me out of the child's life for longer than necessary. Since I would have already been a part of her life for the first few months. I dunno. Guess it doesn't matter much as it seems that going ASAP is my best option. How long typically does it take from filing to get a hearing and then the actual visitation? Just a bummer to think that it would be months before I got to actually see her (if mom wants to keep her from me). Once a week would be better than none at all but I have to look at the big picture, I know.

YOU DO NOT want to sign the affidavit of paternity to be placed on the birth certificate IF you want a DNA test. What you do is file a court case for paternity/custody/visitation/support.

Not the biggest issue, but after court does the baby get my last name?

 

[Ohiogal]

I was told and probably wrong, but something about if I had regular visits for a few months and then went to court that it would get to a hearing faster as not to keep me out of the child's life for longer than necessary. Since I would have already been a part of her life for the first few months. I dunno. Guess it doesn't matter much as it seems that going ASAP is my best option. How long typically does it take from filing to get a hearing and then the actual visitation? Just a bummer to think that it would be months before I got to actually see her (if mom wants to keep her from me). Once a week would be better than none at all but I have to look at the big picture, I know.



Not the biggest issue, but after court does the baby get my last name?

YOu can ask the court to change the baby's name to yours or a hyphenated version of yours and mom's.

 

[LdiJ]

I was told and probably wrong, but something about if I had regular visits for a few months and then went to court that it would get to a hearing faster as not to keep me out of the child's life for longer than necessary. Since I would have already been a part of her life for the first few months. I dunno. Guess it doesn't matter much as it seems that going ASAP is my best option. How long typically does it take from filing to get a hearing and then the actual visitation? Just a bummer to think that it would be months before I got to actually see her (if mom wants to keep her from me). Once a week would be better than none at all but I have to look at the big picture, I know.



Not the biggest issue, but after court does the baby get my last name?

The baby gets whatever last name mom chooses to give the baby. You can petition to change the baby's last name if mom doesn't give the baby your last name, but you aren't guaranteed to win on that issue. I will tell you that a hyphenated last name is a great compromise that judges REALLY like. IE Smith-Jones. If you ask for a hyphenated last name you would be virtually guaranteed to win.

Because this is an unwed situation an Indiana judge absolutely WILL order that the guidelines be followed. An Indiana judge will not order anything else unless both parents agree to it.

I agree that you should file as soon as the baby is born. You would file to establish paternity via a DNA test at the same time. It will NOT speed things up at all for you to establish a relationship with the baby first.

 

[Nicaho]

Thanks for the free advice!!!