When to start child support

[Nicaho]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

I plan on filing for support visitation as soon as the baby is born this month. The mother and I agreed on a support amount a few months ago. She does not know that I am going to go through the courts. I just know that I can't go on by what she says when it comes to being able to see my child.

Should I pay from the start the amount we agreed on or just keep it saved until court? I have seen things that said that anything that is not court ordered is considered a gift. What is my best option here? Or more the right thing to do.

Also do I tell her I am going to file for visitation or just surprise her with it? I feel that once I tell her I am going to that it is possible that she will not allow me to see the baby. So if I don't tell and then she gets the letter then at least I would have had the time up until then. Depending on what is said about the support and when to pay then that might make a difference too.

I'm still confused and lost as ever. Thanks for the advice!

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

I plan on filing for support visitation as soon as the baby is born this month. The mother and I agreed on a support amount a few months ago. She does not know that I am going to go through the courts. I just know that I can't go on by what she says when it comes to being able to see my child.

Should I pay from the start the amount we agreed on or just keep it saved until court? I have seen things that said that anything that is not court ordered is considered a gift. What is my best option here? Or more the right thing to do.

Also do I tell her I am going to file for visitation or just surprise her with it? I feel that once I tell her I am going to that it is possible that she will not allow me to see the baby. So if I don't tell and then she gets the letter then at least I would have had the time up until then. Depending on what is said about the support and when to pay then that might make a difference too.

I'm still confused and lost as ever. Thanks for the advice!

If you want it to be considered child support, BANK IT until court. However participate in buying clothes and diapers and such for your child. You don't have to tell her you are filing but why don't you ask her to come to an agreement with you regarding visitation and to file it with the court. That way you are attempting to work with her and coparent.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

I plan on filing for support visitation as soon as the baby is born this month. The mother and I agreed on a support amount a few months ago. She does not know that I am going to go through the courts. I just know that I can't go on by what she says when it comes to being able to see my child.

Should I pay from the start the amount we agreed on or just keep it saved until court? I have seen things that said that anything that is not court ordered is considered a gift. What is my best option here? Or more the right thing to do.

Also do I tell her I am going to file for visitation or just surprise her with it? I feel that once I tell her I am going to that it is possible that she will not allow me to see the baby. So if I don't tell and then she gets the letter then at least I would have had the time up until then. Depending on what is said about the support and when to pay then that might make a difference too.

I'm still confused and lost as ever. Thanks for the advice!

Do a google search for "The Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines" and read them.

Because you are in an unwed situation the judge will almost automatically order that you follow the guidelines, therefore you need to become familiar with them.

 

[Nicaho]

Do a google search for "The Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines" and read them.

Because you are in an unwed situation the judge will almost automatically order that you follow the guidelines, therefore you need to become familiar with them.

I have read them over and over again the past month. I will show them to mom once the baby is here sometime this month. I am hoping that she will agree with what it says and we can go from there. The only reason I would have to go to court is if she refuses to let me take the baby on my own at 5 months. I think she will use breastfeeding as an excuse not to and I have read plenty on this site on what many of you have to say on that. I wish she was one of the moms that truly wanted the best for her daughter and to have the bonding time needed with dad. Unfortunately she left me for another guy at 4 months pregnant and she will treat the new guy more as dad than me. Why would she be concerned with me bonding when she already has another "dad" lined up for the role

 

[CJane]

I have read them over and over again the past month. I will show them to mom once the baby is here sometime this month. I am hoping that she will agree with what it says and we can go from there. The only reason I would have to go to court is if she refuses to let me take the baby on my own at 5 months.

No. Court should not be a retaliation for what the other parent does. Court orders are there to protect the rights and outline the responsibilities of each of the parents. You should get a court order in place BEFORE things become contentious, not after.

I wish she was one of the moms that truly wanted the best for her daughter and to have the bonding time needed with dad. Unfortunately she left me for another guy at 4 months pregnant and she will treat the new guy more as dad than me. Why would she be concerned with me bonding when she already has another "dad" lined up for the role

The downside of being in your situation is that you'll have to wrap your head around the fact that someone else will ALWAYS be spending more time with your kid than you. The sooner you can do that, the better.

 

[stealth2]

Regardless of what the two of you may agree to, she will be under no obligation to provide you with any time until a court declares you the legal father and provides you with specified visitation.