when will I get to see my baby?

[brucemoon17]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
texas

my ex girlfriend is having my baby out of wedlock. She is mad because things didn't work out and I left her. After I left she demanded that I come back and told me that if I didn't she was going to make sure I never saw our baby. When I didn't bend to her wishes, she told me that I had two choices. 1 I could sign my rights over and she would never let me see my kid. 2 if I tried to get rights she would get her family and friends to lie in court for her and say I was a drug addict so that I still wouldn't have any rights and that I'd have to pay child support despite not having visitation rights so I'd still never get to see my baby. I am not a drug addict and I've never had anything more than a traffic ticket in my life and I will pass a drug test at any
time. I posted in here before and asked about what rights I had at this point, and apparently the general concesus is that I don't have any and that I have to get a paternity test done after the babies born, but she changed her phone number and hasn't spoken to me in three months. So, if I order a paternity test, will the court tell me when the babies born? And someone posted saying depending on the city it could take up to nine months before all the legal issues are taken care of and I get to see my daughter for the first time. Can she really get away with lying about me in court? Can that really lead to her winning sole custody? Will she really just get away with cheating me out of a year of my childs life without any consequences? Is there any way I could win in court and become the custodial parent since she is being so unreasonable and trying to deny my baby and I from having a relationship just because she wants to get revenge on me out of resentment that I left her?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
texas

my ex girlfriend is having my baby out of wedlock. She is mad because things didn't work out and I left her. After I left she demanded that I come back and told me that if I didn't she was going to make sure I never saw our baby. When I didn't bend to her wishes, she told me that I had two choices. 1 I could sign my rights over and she would never let me see my kid. 2 if I tried to get rights she would get her family and friends to lie in court for her and say I was a drug addict so that I still wouldn't have any rights and that I'd have to pay child support despite not having visitation rights so I'd still never get to see my baby. I am not a drug addict and I've never had anything more than a traffic ticket in my life and I will pass a drug test at any
time. I posted in here before and asked about what rights I had at this point, and apparently the general concesus is that I don't have any and that I have to get a paternity test done after the babies born, but she changed her phone number and hasn't spoken to me in three months. So, if I order a paternity test, will the court tell me when the babies born? And someone posted saying depending on the city it could take up to nine months before all the legal issues are taken care of and I get to see my daughter for the first time. Can she really get away with lying about me in court? Can that really lead to her winning sole custody? Will she really just get away with cheating me out of a year of my childs life without any consequences? Is there any way I could win in court and become the custodial parent since she is being so unreasonable and trying to deny my baby and I from having a relationship just because she wants to get revenge on me out of resentment that I left her?

Is it possible for all of that to happen? Unfortunately yes it is possible. You also need to realize that nothing she is doing now is legally unreasonable...even the threats. Pregnant women are hormonal as heck and that can cause them to say things that normally they would never say.

She does not have to have anything to do with you at all until a court tells her she has to...and she particularly doesn't have to have anything to do with you until there is actually a baby.

However you can do things to make it less likely that you will face the worst case scenario.

One of the other posters told you that you could file to establish paternity in TX before the baby was born. I have since seen something else that backs that up. If you do that, the judge might at least order her to notify the court when the baby is born.

I am not sure that I recommend that if there is any other possible way for you to find out when the baby is born. The reason why I say that is because the stress on mom of you doing that may not be healthy for the baby. You would have some idea of the latest possible date that the baby could be born, and in a worst case scenario you could time it for then.

You can also ask for temporary visitation orders so that you can see the child prior to the outcome of your case.

A good attorney can also make things happen faster than you can on your own.

Your odds of getting primary custody, no matter how badly mom behaves before there are court orders, are truly slim to none. The baby's primary bond is going to be with mom, and there are very few judges who would consider disrupting that primary bond to give custody to an unwed father.

Now, once there are court orders, if mom does not obey them, THEN you would have a shot at primary custody.

 

[Ohiogal]

Is it possible for all of that to happen? Unfortunately yes it is possible. You also need to realize that nothing she is doing now is legally unreasonable...even the threats. Pregnant women are hormonal as heck and that can cause them to say things that normally they would never say.

Her being pregnant does NOT give her the right to threaten him with committing perjury and having her friends and family commit perjury. It does not excuse her attempts at extortion. A court would not be happy to hear about her behavior. Do not excuse her actions with the excuse that she is hormonal.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
texas

my ex girlfriend is having my baby out of wedlock. She is mad because things didn't work out and I left her. After I left she demanded that I come back and told me that if I didn't she was going to make sure I never saw our baby. When I didn't bend to her wishes, she told me that I had two choices. 1 I could sign my rights over and she would never let me see my kid. 2 if I tried to get rights she would get her family and friends to lie in court for her and say I was a drug addict so that I still wouldn't have any rights and that I'd have to pay child support despite not having visitation rights so I'd still never get to see my baby. I am not a drug addict and I've never had anything more than a traffic ticket in my life and I will pass a drug test at any
time. I posted in here before and asked about what rights I had at this point, and apparently the general concesus is that I don't have any and that I have to get a paternity test done after the babies born, but she changed her phone number and hasn't spoken to me in three months. So, if I order a paternity test, will the court tell me when the babies born? And someone posted saying depending on the city it could take up to nine months before all the legal issues are taken care of and I get to see my daughter for the first time. Can she really get away with lying about me in court? Can that really lead to her winning sole custody? Will she really just get away with cheating me out of a year of my childs life without any consequences? Is there any way I could win in court and become the custodial parent since she is being so unreasonable and trying to deny my baby and I from having a relationship just because she wants to get revenge on me out of resentment that I left her?

You already got the answer. You have no rights until the baby is born. Legally, there's no child to fight about until then.

The court isn't going to tell you when the child is born. Do you have a calendar?

Don't worry about her threats (although you should keep a journal of her threats and make copies of anything she sends in writing since a court might penalize her for that). If you go through the legal process and are awarded visitation, she will have to prove her allegations. If she claims you're a drug addict, her word is not going to be sufficient. Even if a couple of people make that claim, you will still be able to defend yourself. You could, for example, ask for a hair drug test which will show if you've used drugs for some time period.

You are fortunate to be in Texas which has a putative father registry. You sign up before the child is born and that will give you a head start on establishing paternity.
Texas Putative Father Registry - Fathers Rights in Adoption -

 

[TheGeekess]

You already got the answer. You have no rights until the baby is born. Legally, there's no child to fight about until then.

The court isn't going to tell you when the child is born. Do you have a calendar?

Don't worry about her threats (although you should keep a journal of her threats and make copies of anything she sends in writing since a court might penalize her for that). If you go through the legal process and are awarded visitation, she will have to prove her allegations. If she claims you're a drug addict, her word is not going to be sufficient. Even if a couple of people make that claim, you will still be able to defend yourself. You could, for example, ask for a hair drug test which will show if you've used drugs for some time period.

You are fortunate to be in Texas which has a putative father registry. You sign up before the child is born and that will give you a head start on establishing paternity.
Texas Putative Father Registry - Fathers Rights in Adoption -

This might be a better link:
The Rights of Presumed (Putative) Fathers
Putative Father Registries

Many States have provisions for a father to voluntarily acknowledge paternity. Approximately 23 States have established putative father registries for this purpose. In 12 States, the District of Columbia, and the Virgin Islands, there are provisions for voluntary acknowledgment of paternity through forms that are filed with social services departments, registrars of vital statistics, or other similar entities.

Acknowledgment of paternity provides the father with the right to receive notice of court proceedings regarding the child, including petitions for adoption or actions to terminate parental rights. In 10 States with putative father registries, filing with the registry is the sole means for establishing this right of notice. An acknowledged father may also seek visitation with the child and usually will be required to provide financial support to the child.

 

[InfantCustody]

Did Mom actually say she will "have them lie for her and say you use drugs..."or did she say that they will testify, for her, that you use drugs and since you say you don't...in your opinion they would be lying? It makes a difference...

Same advice is going to apply. Wait until 2 weeks after the baby's due date (unless you can do it before) and then file for the establishment of paternity, custody, visitation and child support. The baby HAS to be here within 2 weeks of her estimated due date as doctors won't let you go further overdue than that. Until the court gives you rights - you have NONE.

 

[MichaCA]

A PS about the drug accusation. You say you don't use drugs...so frankly, mom will look like a doofus if she tries to use that card and you respond with...yes, I am happy for us to take a drug test tomorrow morning.

The sad truth is some parents use threats when facing break-up and child custody. I would try to let all of that go and focus your approach on joint legal/physical custody as to how concerned and helpful you have tried to be...because you are committed to having a father/child relationship for the long haul.

 

[milspecgirl]

The baby HAS to be here within 2 weeks of her estimated due date as doctors won't let you go further overdue than that.

I wish- mine was 19 days overdue and then the only reason the Dr agreed to induce was because I was sobbing uncontrollably in his office. Also possible they missed her due date and it could change as she gets further into pregnancy and things progress. My original due date was July 25. Corrected due date was aug 3. Birth was aug 22.

that aside- register with the putative father's registry. That prevents her from trying to name someone else as dad. personally, I would file about a month before her due date if they will let you so that she has time to get the notice and cant try to say she missed it/forgot about it/etc with a new baby/birth.

They aren't going to take her word or the word of her friends that you do drugs- they are biased. judges arent stupid. let her accuse you and then volunteer for a drug test and ask that she have to pay for it if it is negative.