Where should I begin... Need Advise Badly.

[cmykds]

What is the name of your state? WI

I will try to keep this as brief as possible, please bear with me. I've posted before but haven't really received many responses. And now there is a lot more to the story.

Back in December my daughter was phsically abused by her step father (ex's husband). The kids were placed in my care, he was arrested and my ex was only allowed supervised visits through CPS. She is still only getting supervised visits but now are supervised by her mother (which I do not agree with, but had to "evidence" to agrue it). She is supposed to attend couseling with our daughter to understand her victimization as well as individual couseling neither has been started this was ordered in the dispo hearing back in February. I do have my daughter in couseling but choice to help work this this horrible ordeal. My ex is staying with her husband, he was resently sentanced to 5 years 6 months, having to only serve 18 months in prison and the rest on extended supervision. She gave a statement on his behalf at the sentancing hearing. And has also throughout this entire process become pregnant by him AGAIN... Baby due sometime late this fall.

Anyway, most recently both of the step dad's brothers were arrested for 1st degree sexual assult of a child (3 children) numerous counts for each kid. I have been asking CPS for more information because my kids have been around these people on numerous occasions, they have even come along to drop the kids off with my ex. They however can not give me any information due to confidentiallity. I discussed this with my daughters therapist, and my daughter was asked if anything innapropriate happend to her. She disclosed to the therapist that step dad has touched her privates "every time mommy went to work". She also talked about "seeing Mommy and step dad do naughty stuff in bed" (her bed was in their room in the corner she is the oldest of the 3 kids our two and the one they have together). Anyway this has all been reported to the police and an investigation in underway. And all visits have been suspended pending further information. This all takes place between 2 counties.

My question is: My ex basically got off scott free for the phyiscal abuse because she was at work and "are we to fault her for working, she couldn't have known". (But she knows now and is staying with him still defending him). So once this sexual abuse comes out what will happen if she still stays with him? Can she be charged for having sex in front of our 4 year old daughter? For failure to protect our kids while they were in her care? Something? Or is it going to be the same old well she was at work. Will she have to accept some responsibilty here? Ecspecially if she still stays with him?
I know she knew about this to some degree there have been so many insidences that have happend over the past 2-3 years it's like a giany piece of the puzzle. My kids need to be kept away from these people, and I hate to say it but at this point even their Mom.

What can I do? Please help?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? WI

I will try to keep this as brief as possible, please bear with me. I've posted before but haven't really received many responses. And now there is a lot more to the story.

Back in December my daughter was phsically abused by her step father (ex's husband). The kids were placed in my care, he was arrested and my ex was only allowed supervised visits through CPS. She is still only getting supervised visits but now are supervised by her mother (which I do not agree with, but had to "evidence" to agrue it). She is supposed to attend couseling with our daughter to understand her victimization as well as individual couseling neither has been started this was ordered in the dispo hearing back in February. I do have my daughter in couseling but choice to help work this this horrible ordeal. My ex is staying with her husband, he was resently sentanced to 5 years 6 months, having to only serve 18 months in prison and the rest on extended supervision. She gave a statement on his behalf at the sentancing hearing. And has also throughout this entire process become pregnant by him AGAIN... Baby due sometime late this fall.

Anyway, most recently both of the step dad's brothers were arrested for 1st degree sexual assult of a child (3 children) numerous counts for each kid. I have been asking CPS for more information because my kids have been around these people on numerous occasions, they have even come along to drop the kids off with my ex. They however can not give me any information due to confidentiallity. I discussed this with my daughters therapist, and my daughter was asked if anything innapropriate happend to her. She disclosed to the therapist that step dad has touched her privates "every time mommy went to work". She also talked about "seeing Mommy and step dad do naughty stuff in bed" (her bed was in their room in the corner she is the oldest of the 3 kids our two and the one they have together). Anyway this has all been reported to the police and an investigation in underway. And all visits have been suspended pending further information. This all takes place between 2 counties.

My question is: My ex basically got off scott free for the phyiscal abuse because she was at work and "are we to fault her for working, she couldn't have known". (But she knows now and is staying with him still defending him). So once this sexual abuse comes out what will happen if she still stays with him? Can she be charged for having sex in front of our 4 year old daughter? For failure to protect our kids while they were in her care? Something? Or is it going to be the same old well she was at work. Will she have to accept some responsibilty here? Ecspecially if she still stays with him?
I know she knew about this to some degree there have been so many insidences that have happend over the past 2-3 years it's like a giany piece of the puzzle. My kids need to be kept away from these people, and I hate to say it but at this point even their Mom.

What can I do? Please help?

Well, the one thing that won't happen is she won't get the kids back in her physical custody as long as she stays with the abuser. However, you aren't going to have to worry about it for at least 18 months....and maybe longer if new charges come out.

 

[Zippy]

Abuse

Every county & state have different guide lines. What I do know from working in that area for many yrs. is that once the risk has been removed there is no longer concern for the child's safety. But once the ex's is released then several things can take place. One, the children could be removed due to the risk, two, mother and ex could be forced to live apart (which I have seen happen and the judge was not questioned by making this decision, or the ex will be forced to take parenting classes in jail and the family will have visits from their county children services several times a wk. once he is released. If the children are 10 yrs. of age or older, their input will be viewed very highly to a social worker and to the judge. /I will tell you I have seen mothers lose their children because they don't believe what happened truly happened and express how their children ruined their life. Sounds cold doesn't it? I wish you all the luck in the world and I do know what pain you must be facing.

 

[cmykds]

Well, the one thing that won't happen is she won't get the kids back in her physical custody as long as she stays with the abuser. However, you aren't going to have to worry about it for at least 18 months....and maybe longer if new charges come out.

You're right I do not have to worry about him. But I do have to worry about her and the rest of his family and hers. She she doesn't see anything wrong with what he did. I'm the bad guy, I "took her kids away based on lies". She continues to talk about him to the kids keep him very much a part of their lives. Tells my daughter he says he's sorry and wont do that again, etc. But then we can never nail her on it because we can't "prove" this and of course she lies as does the rest of her family. Her entire family takes part in this type of thing. There is just way more to this then I will ever probably find out. My son came home from the last visit without underwear on, he had them on when he left that morning. She never calls when she is allowed to on the weekends, doesn't show up to visits or cancels them for reason like she doesn't have enough gas. Our kids are not her priority period.

 

[cmykds]

Every county & state have different guide lines. What I do know from working in that area for many yrs. is that once the risk has been removed there is no longer concern for the child's safety. But once the ex's is released then several things can take place. One, the children could be removed due to the risk, two, mother and ex could be forced to live apart (which I have seen happen and the judge was not questioned by making this decision, or the ex will be forced to take parenting classes in jail and the family will have visits from their county children services several times a wk. once he is released. If the children are 10 yrs. of age or older, their input will be viewed very highly to a social worker and to the judge. /I will tell you I have seen mothers lose their children because they don't believe what happened truly happened and express how their children ruined their life. Sounds cold doesn't it? I wish you all the luck in the world and I do know what pain you must be facing.

Thank you. Are kids are only 3 and 4. As it is he can not have any contact with my kids period. But I worry about her and her involvement and/or knowledge of all of this. It's becoming more and more obvious that she is not working with a full deck. She will allow phone calls, she has already given them cards addressed from him (but again since it's in HER writting it's not considered contact). I am just very scared for my children and if I knew they would be safe I'd have no problem with her but I do not feel that they are or that she will protect them.

Right now she is just acting as if all of this is a custody dispute and CPS is the mediator.

 

[Chelle0578]

Cmykds: Check you private messages.