who will most likely get custody??

[Mojorator]

What is the name of your state? CA

I've been with my ex-GF for about 7 years...we have a child together that is going to be 6 years old this August.

I found out and she admitted that she was cheating on me and so I broke it off.

I lease a house under me and my son's name. She have been staying here, but now i will need to tell her to move.

I have a steady job/income..she doesn't..she get's workers comp payment from her previous employer of around 1400.00 per month.

I pay for the rent, her car insurance that is registered to me and her dad...she makes the payment on that car around 600.00 per month
I pay for most of the bills here at home except the water/electricity which she put under her name to try and help out.

I have good credit...she doesn't
I'm more responsible, while she goes out and parties a lot (drinking)

She can move to her parents house which is a 2 bed/1 bath duplex with both her parents, her daughter(that never moved in with us and has been staying at her parents house since we met 7-8 years ago), her 2 sisters and brother (very small place)

I have not consulted a lawyer yet since this just happened last week..

what are my rights??.
If I told her to move out, can she take my son with her?
Do I have the legal right to tell her to leave my son with me until the judge decides who will have full custody?

I've never been soo hurt and soo confused until now...
please help...

Mike

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? CA

I've been with my ex-GF for about 7 years...we have a child together that is going to be 6 years old this August.

Was paternity established? Are you the legal father or just "know" you are the father?


I found out and she admitted that she was cheating on me and so I broke it off.

I lease a house under me and my son's name. She have been staying here, but now i will need to tell her to move.

How is your minor child on the lease? Or is he just listed as an occupant? And you cannot just tell her to move. You will need to evict her. She is a tenant and you are the de facto landlord. So now you need to follow the landlord/tenant laws of CA to get her out.

I have a steady job/income..she doesn't..she get's workers comp payment from her previous employer of around 1400.00 per month.

So? Child support is the great equalizer in these cases.

I pay for the rent, her car insurance that is registered to me and her dad...she makes the payment on that car around 600.00 per month
I pay for most of the bills here at home except the water/electricity which she put under her name to try and help out.


And? The point of this is what? You have money and she doesn't?

I have good credit...she doesn't
I'm more responsible, while she goes out and parties a lot (drinking)

Prove that makes her unfit. If you are hoping for custody you are going to have to prove that it is in the best interest of the child to be with you. Even at that joint custody is more the norm.That is IF you are the legal father of this child.

She can move to her parents house which is a 2 bed/1 bath duplex with both her parents, her daughter(that never moved in with us and has been staying at her parents house since we met 7-8 years ago), her 2 sisters and brother (very small place)

I have not consulted a lawyer yet since this just happened last week..

what are my rights??. You have the right to be declared the legal father, pay child support, and have joint custody of the child.

If I told her to move out, can she take my son with her? Yes she can because contrary to your belief unless you have established custody of this child, she is considered the legal custodian of the child. Even if you are the legal father without custody orders to the contrary, mom is the legal custodian since you were never married.


Do I have the legal right to tell her to leave my son with me until the judge decides who will have full custody?

Nope you don't. You can tell her that but she also has the right to tell you to pound sand.

I've never been soo hurt and soo confused until now...
please help...

Mike

Hurt and confused and striking back? She hurt you so you want to hurt her by keeping the child. Hate to tell you but once you are declared the legal fathe rand custody/support is established you will be tied to her for a lifetime. You will be forced to deal with her on a consistent basis. You will have to co-parent this child with her.

 

[Mojorator]

thanks for the reply..

I don't want to hurt anybody..i just wanted to see what rights I have and the best course of action...

It's not like I will be moving out of state or make my son loose his mom.

I just want what's best for my son be it living with me or her.

mike

 

[GrowUp!]

thanks for the reply..

I don't want to hurt anybody..i just wanted to see what rights I have and the best course of action...

It's not like I will be moving out of state or make my son loose his mom.

I just want what's best for my son be it living with me or her.

mike

SO how come you haven't answered some of the questions??

The major one being has a DNA test determined you to be the legal/biological father? Or did you sign an Acknowledgment of Paternity?

And no, we don't mean putting your name on the birth certificate.

 

[Ohiogal]

thanks for the reply..

I don't want to hurt anybody..i just wanted to see what rights I have and the best course of action...

It's not like I will be moving out of state or make my son loose his mom.

I just want what's best for my son be it living with me or her.

mike

Please reread my ENTIRE post including the bolded italicized words because those questions NEED answered before anyone can give you any accurate answers.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? CA

I've been with my ex-GF for about 7 years...we have a child together that is going to be 6 years old this August.

I found out and she admitted that she was cheating on me and so I broke it off.

I lease a house under me and my son's name. She have been staying here, but now i will need to tell her to move.

I have a steady job/income..she doesn't..she get's workers comp payment from her previous employer of around 1400.00 per month.

I pay for the rent, her car insurance that is registered to me and her dad...she makes the payment on that car around 600.00 per month
I pay for most of the bills here at home except the water/electricity which she put under her name to try and help out.

I have good credit...she doesn't
I'm more responsible, while she goes out and parties a lot (drinking)

She can move to her parents house which is a 2 bed/1 bath duplex with both her parents, her daughter(that never moved in with us and has been staying at her parents house since we met 7-8 years ago), her 2 sisters and brother (very small place)

I have not consulted a lawyer yet since this just happened last week..

what are my rights??.
If I told her to move out, can she take my son with her?
Do I have the legal right to tell her to leave my son with me until the judge decides who will have full custody?

I've never been soo hurt and soo confused until now...
please help...

Mike

You need to make sure you've established Paternity legally (since you were not married & there is no common law marriage now in CA). Right now~ it appears Mom has legal custody of the child. (Being an unwed mother, custody is automatically Mom's). There are exceptions to this rule, but until you answer OhioGal's questions~ We can't be sure.

Her income- irrelevant

Your credit status- irrelevant

Her partying- irrelevant, as she obviously left the child in the care of a competent adult.

Any contested custody actions in CA courts are referred to Mediation. Contact the Family Law Facilitator's office at the local courthouse to get some direction in what you need to file first...

 

[happybug]

I don't have a legal opinion but I do have an opinion. I think your chances of getting custody are OUTSTANDING. Your girlfriend dumped her first child on her parents to move in with you. ( Why you would choose to have a child with a woman who would do that is beyond me. She can't or chooses not to care for the child she already has, so let's have another one. Great plan there. ) I think she will have no problem leaving the child with you so she can start fresh with her new baby's daddy.

 

[LdiJ]

I don't have a legal opinion but I do have an opinion. I think your chances of getting custody are OUTSTANDING. Your girlfriend dumped her first child on her parents to move in with you. ( Why you would choose to have a child with a woman who would do that is beyond me. She can't or chooses not to care for the child she already has, so let's have another one. Great plan there. ) I think she will have no problem leaving the child with you so she can start fresh with her new baby's daddy.

Its a good thing that you don't have a legal opinion, because your personal one is way off kilter. This is an out of wedlock situation. His chances are NOT outstanding at this point.

 

[happybug]

I didn't state I thought his LEGAL chances were outstanding. I think the mother will have no problem dumping her son with dad, to move on with the new man. The same way she dumped her daughter with her parents to move in with OP. She likes having babies with these men but doesn't seem to like having the baggage of children once a new man comes along. I think the chances are good that she will VOLUNTARILY leave the child with his father.

 

[NotSoNew]

who is the primary caretaker of the child now? that is the person who will most likely receive custody.

all of that other stuff is irrelavant.

 

[Ithildriel]

who is the primary caretaker of the child now? that is the person who will most likely receive custody.

all of that other stuff is irrelavant.

Unless the primary caretaker is the father.

 

[Mojorator]

thanks again for the responses.

I AM the biological father of the child no doubt about that.
As far as who is the primary caregiver..i would think that it is both of us..she doesn't work so she stays home with him while i'm at work. So basically, they live with me.

Today, I had to take her to the local Psych Facility as I found some suicide websites and forums that she has been visiting since last week. They almost took her in for a 3 day hold, but we decided that we will take the outpatient care as an alternative, although the Psychiatrist wanted to keep her there.

Again, thanks for the responses.

Mike

 

[LdiJ]

thanks again for the responses.

I AM the biological father of the child no doubt about that.
As far as who is the primary caregiver..i would think that it is both of us..she doesn't work so she stays home with him while i'm at work. So basically, they live with me.

In that case she is the primary caretaker of the child. She is the one who provides the child's primary care. (who financially supports the child has nothing to do with it)

Today, I had to take her to the local Psych Facility as I found some suicide websites and forums that she has been visiting since last week. They almost took her in for a 3 day hold, but we decided that we will take the outpatient care as an alternative, although the Psychiatrist wanted to keep her there.

Again, thanks for the responses.

That could end up being a factor. Maybe a serious one, maybe not. However, if you toss her out now, you could be shooting yourself in the foot....so proceed with caution.

 

[CJane]

thanks again for the responses.

I AM the biological father of the child no doubt about that.

You knowing you're the bio dad isn't the same as paternity being established legally.

 

[Mojorator]

You knowing you're the bio dad isn't the same as paternity being established legally.

I see... I didn't realize/know that . I thought I was automatically the father , but I guess there's always that possibility that I am not...WOW

Mike