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Who would get costody..HELP

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Debbie2

Guest
What is the name of your state? Nevada
My husband said he is filing for divorce and wants costody of our son. My husband is a U.S. citizen, I am from another country. I am trying to find out what usually happens in a situation like this. If I plan to move back to my country, will I be able to take my son, or would he have to stay in the U.S., in which case I am not going anywhere.
My husband has always threatened to take our son away from me if we ever divorced, I have been at home with him since he was born. I am terrified that I may lose our child. Also terrified that I don't have the funds to even hire an attorney as my husband is the only one with access to our savings.
Any advice that would give me a little insight as to what I'm in for would be much appreciated.
 


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njmom

Guest
just my opinion......

First of all, if your son was born in the United States, he is a citizen of the United States. You would not be able to take that child back to you're Country unless your husband gave you permission. You could go back, just not your son. Now, I could be wrong, but this is what I have known since a friend of mine went through this same situation and guess what she didnt go anywhere because she was not willing to leave her children behind.

Second of all, why would you allow your husband to have complete control of the savings and you not have access????? Do you still live in the marital home? You said if "we ever divorce", are you in the process of getting a divorce, or are you just wondering for future reference? I would suggest if you are in a position where you don't feel comfortable, or you are feeling threatened, you and your son go to a shelter, until you can provide for you and your son.
 
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Debbie2

Guest
Thanks for replying njmom....This is what I had suspected regarding leaving the US to return home.

I have wanted to leave my husband for a long time and had said that was what I was going to do. My husband said he would contact an attorney and get full custody, but agreed not to if I would 'try again' to make our marriage work. To be honest, the mere thought of losing my son is what has made me stay, and the fact that I feel a bliitle blackmailed.

At this point in time I just feel so powerless, and am trying to get a look at what I might be facing before I contact an attorney.
I am still in the marital home, I don't feel physically threatened
but I do fear losing my son. My husband can be EXTREMELY vindictive, and has always said that if I leave I can't take my son, even if I stay in the US or return home.

As far as the savings go, I have asked him repeatedly to put me on the account, but he will not do it. I only have access to a checking account, that he deposits money into for bills, grocerys etc. This where he has me, I'm a stay at home mom, with no seperate finances of my own to pay for a good attorney.
 

Grace_Adler

Senior Member
Is there anyway you can go get a job? I was going to say, if you can, get one and start your own account and save your money.

Do you have anyone at all you can stay with till you get on your feet?

If you do leave, don't leave your child behind. If you do, it will be very hard to get him back.

Also, unless he can prove you unfit. It's going to be hard for him to get sole custody. Judges would rather award joint custody. However if you can't agree on anything or you can't provide for your child somehow, he may be granted physical custody but I think if you live close you would have a good chance at at least getting joint physical. You may also get physical custody.

http://www.deltabravo.net
http.//www.divorcenet.com
http://www.alllaw.com
http://www.findlaw.com
http://polisci.com/web/slegis.htm

Those are pretty good sites to research.

That's all I can think of right now though.
 

stephenk

Senior Member
Consult with a family law attorney. Look in the yellow pages, some give free consultations.

The court can order that your attorney be paid out of the community funds even if your hubby controls the funds. The court can also order your hubby to pay for your attorney fees out of his own funds.

Go to the bank yourself and ask to speak with the manager about adding you to the savings account. Or create your own savings account and transfer funds from the checking account.
 
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Debbie2

Guest
Thanks for the advice

Thanks for the replies stephenk and grace_Adler, it means a great deal.

I am planning on getting at least a part time job, it is something I've thought about for a while now. I must have some resources to fall back on.

The bank will not add me to any of my husbands accounts without permission from him.

Anyway folks, thanks for all you help.
 

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