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who's got the right?

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Junior Member
What is the name of your state?/ california
My daughter is 17,attending college and working...and will turn 18 in 6 weeks. She has been living with her father and step mother for the past 9 years and visiting with me, her mother twice a week and every other weekend. We shared joint legal custody, with physical custody to her father. Since June, I've seen her once. Her work schedule and college life keep her busy and when she's not working, her step mother alwaays has something for her to do around the house so she can't come and see me. I've gone as far as taking the police with me to pick her up, but they don't have any say in family matters. He was held in contempt of court twice for the same thing and yet here we are again no visitation. Last week I moved out of state with my current husband and baby, figuring things weren't going to change anytime before she turned 18, so why delay the moving plans any longer. She could just come and see me when she turned 18. Well, two days after I moved, her father died unexpectedly. So I come back to be there for my daughter and she's still not allowed to spend any time at all with me according to her step mother. Legally, do I not have sole custody now with his untimely death? The step mother has no legal say in when I see my daughter does she? Now she's saying I can't come to the funeral because she doesn't want me there. I want to be there for my daughter who feels like she's lost both parents in the same week. Legally she can't keep me away can she?


Senior Member
Legally she cannot keep you from the funeral, but realize her husband just died and while I realize you want to be there for your daughter, making waves like this is unwise.

You now have custody of an almost adult child. No judge at this age is going to make her move in with you or stay where she is. Tell her that legally you now have custody, ask her to move with you, and get a copy of the death certificate for your ex and file it with the court to make sure child support stops.


Senior Member
You ALSO mention that she is a COLLEGE student. That means that she attends school at the college in which she has enrolled and paid tuition.

She can't just up and move away from her school just like that.

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