Who's looking out for my kids?

["just 10"]

What is the name of your state? AL
This is my first time on anything like this, parden my ignorance. I have 7 children, 5 are by a man whom I am not married to but do reside with. He has 3 children from a prev. marriage. She (the ex) is taking him bak to court for more child support. We went Thurs. and they want him to pay out nearly $900 dollars for those 3 leaving only 1400 for us. The question I have is do my children have any rights? He has never been behind in his support of 11 years. She claims she doesn't want any of my kids to go hungry but is unwilling to take any less. Legally, I need to know where I stand and how do I protect my kids? Believe me she's pointed out enough times hers were here first, but mine are here now too, do we just erase that fact?

 

[GrowUp!]

What is the name of your state? AL
This is my first time on anything like this, parden my ignorance. I have 7 children, 5 are by a man whom I am not married to but do reside with. He has 3 children from a prev. marriage. She (the ex) is taking him bak to court for more child support. We went Thurs. and they want him to pay out nearly $900 dollars for those 3 leaving only 1400 for us. The question I have is do my children have any rights? He has never been behind in his support of 11 years. She claims she doesn't want any of my kids to go hungry but is unwilling to take any less. Legally, I need to know where I stand and how do I protect my kids? Believe me she's pointed out enough times hers were here first, but mine are here now too, do we just erase that fact?

Of course she's not willing to take any less. She is right...their kids were here first. Plus, there is not a support order for the kids you have with him. I am not sure that AL take into account subsequent children or not. It seems your bf makes some decent $$.

He does have the right to appeal that decision in Court. It's strongly advised to retain a lawyer for that.

 

[stealth2]

$900 for three kids really isn't that substantial. How much was he paying previously?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? AL
This is my first time on anything like this, parden my ignorance. I have 7 children, 5 are by a man whom I am not married to but do reside with. He has 3 children from a prev. marriage. She (the ex) is taking him bak to court for more child support. We went Thurs. and they want him to pay out nearly $900 dollars for those 3 leaving only 1400 for us. The question I have is do my children have any rights? He has never been behind in his support of 11 years. She claims she doesn't want any of my kids to go hungry but is unwilling to take any less. Legally, I need to know where I stand and how do I protect my kids? Believe me she's pointed out enough times hers were here first, but mine are here now too, do we just erase that fact?

No but you have a duty to support those children. GET a job to help with the income. Your children have a right to be supported by both parents as well. How to protect your kids? You KNEW that he had those obligations. You also apparently have another daddy (at least one) floating around who should be supporting his kid(s). So that father needs to be paying you support.
Oh and has the man you are living with but not married to been legally found to be the father of the five children you have with him? And that doesn't necessarily just mean that he is on the birth certificate. If so, how was he legally adjudicated the father? If not, then your five kids with him don't even have a father.

 

["just 10"]

The amount they used to figure tthe cs was incorrect,so on that ground I know we can get the amount changed a little. Yes, he has signed a paterinity form at the hospital. I already knew he had this child support when we got together, yes, I'm not saying she shouldn't get a raise to some degree. However, she was only getting 430 before and it's been 11 years like I said, It would have been different if she had done this every three years and it came up gradually, but such a jump is just hard to swallow. I did try to go to work before and the daycare was more than I could make. All of my kids are daycare age all 7, some only after school but around here thats still a fortune. I need to know are there any grounds for my kids, other than at the judges mercy? OH, and yes I recieve support for the other two but it's not enough to support all of them, and I do go through the state but don't recieve it some of the time still. We have an appointment with a lawyer we can't afford tomorrow and I just want to have some idea of what to expect ot hear on my side? I am not trying to be money hungry or keep her from having enough to support her kids, but there are a few more things about this that makes it seem unfair, but there not questions, except maybe on ethics and morals. Also, just so you don't think badly because of my having this many children, knowing about the others, I tried every bc out there except tubal, because I dont belive in it. However, he finally did.

 

[Neal1421]

The amount they used to figure tthe cs was incorrect,so on that ground I know we can get the amount changed a little. Yes, he has signed a paterinity form at the hospital. I already knew he had this child support when we got together, yes, I'm not saying she shouldn't get a raise to some degree. However, she was only getting 430 before and it's been 11 years like I said, It would have been different if she had done this every three years and it came up gradually, but such a jump is just hard to swallow.

That's not her problem, she has the right have the amount adjusted at any point. $430 for 3 kids isn't hardly enough.

I did try to go to work before and the daycare was more than I could make. All of my kids are daycare age all 7, some only after school but around here thats still a fortune.

Ever tried to work from home?

I need to know are there any grounds for my kids, other than at the judges mercy? OH, and yes I recieve support for the other two but it's not enough to support all of them, and I do go through the state but don't recieve it some of the time still. We have an appointment with a lawyer we can't afford tomorrow and I just want to have some idea of what to expect ot hear on my side? I am not trying to be money hungry or keep her from having enough to support her kids, but there are a few more things about this that makes it seem unfair, but there not questions, except maybe on ethics and morals. Also, just so you don't think badly because of my having this many children, knowing about the others, I tried every bc out there except tubal, because I dont belive in it. However, he finally did.

Bottom line is that she is looking at an increase and after 11 years, if he has had an increase in income her support will go up. There is nothing you can do about it except if you can't support your family on your husband's income alone, get a job.

And for the love of all that is good, please don't have any more children.

 

[Silverplum]

The amount they used to figure tthe cs was incorrect,so on that ground I know we can get the amount changed a little. Yes, he has signed a paterinity form at the hospital.

Depending upon your state's laws and the specifics of his situation, it may be too late for that.

I already knew he had this child support when we got together, yes, I'm not saying she shouldn't get a raise to some degree. However, she was only getting 430 before and it's been 11 years like I said, It would have been different if she had done this every three years and it came up gradually, but such a jump is just hard to swallow.

Well, that's life.

I did try to go to work before and the daycare was more than I could make. All of my kids are daycare age all 7, some only after school but around here thats still a fortune. I need to know are there any grounds for my kids, other than at the judges mercy?

Yeah. But you won't *like* the answer.

OH, and yes I recieve support for the other two but it's not enough to support all of them, and I do go through the state but don't recieve it some of the time still.

It's not the other kids' dad's job to provide for 5 kids that are not his. It's your job and Dad's job. As grownups and parents, you are supposed to figure that out.

We have an appointment with a lawyer we can't afford tomorrow and I just want to have some idea of what to expect ot hear on my side?

That's for someone in your state to answer. I have no idea.

I am not trying to be money hungry or keep her from having enough to support her kids, but there are a few more things about this that makes it seem unfair, but there not questions, except maybe on ethics and morals.

Again, you aren't gonna *like* the answer to this question.

Also, just so you don't think badly because of my having this many children, knowing about the others, I tried every bc out there except tubal, because I dont belive in it. However, he finally did.

Again, you are grownups and are expected to figure that out.

 

[GrowUp!]

However, she was only getting 430 before and it's been 11 years like I said, It would have been different if she had done this every three years and it came up gradually, but such a jump is just hard to swallow.

Yes, she SHOULD HAVE had it reviewed every three years, but she didn't. The cost of living has skyrocketed since 1995. Hell, care to take a shot at what gas prices were in 1995 (if you can remember)? Close to $2 less PER gallon than what they are today. That type of increase would be hard for anyone to swallow, but should've been expected when the modification was filed.

 

[MrsK]

What is the name of your state? AL
This is my first time on anything like this, parden my ignorance. I have 7 children, 5 are by a man whom I am not married to but do reside with. He has 3 children from a prev. marriage. She (the ex) is taking him bak to court for more child support. We went Thurs. and they want him to pay out nearly $900 dollars for those 3 leaving only 1400 for us. The question I have is do my children have any rights? He has never been behind in his support of 11 years. She claims she doesn't want any of my kids to go hungry but is unwilling to take any less. Legally, I need to know where I stand and how do I protect my kids? Believe me she's pointed out enough times hers were here first, but mine are here now too, do we just erase that fact?

Most states dont give a rat's ass about other children. There's pretty much nothing you can do about it, except getting a job. If they figured the support wrong, you MIGHT get it lowered a little, but really, with 3 kids, he is going to be paying out a chunk of change, and its going to be more than $430 a month, so go ahead & get that straight in your head right now.

You need to get a job and support your children. Get a job during the hours they are in school and it will eliminate the need for after school care. Or get a job working opposite hours as the dad, and make it work. Its funny, but when ppl have no other options, they MAKE it work. You can, too, since you can count on an amt probably very close to $900 a month leaving your home, so obviously you need to do SOMETHING.

Also, if you couldnt afford 7 children, you shouldnt have had them. If you didnt believe in getting a tubal, you shouldve STOPPED HAVING SEX. Please, PLEASE tell me you arent on ANY type of state assistance (medicaid, food stamps, TANF, WIC, etc). I think I know the answer to that, but enlighten me anyway.

BTW, do you feel its a little....unsavory, morally and all, to have 7 children....5 with a guy you STILL arent married to (and why arent you, btw?) and 2 with 1 or 2 others? Oh, and btw, your support you receive for your other 2 kids IS NOT MEANT to support your other 5 children, as you said in your last post ( "OH, and yes I recieve support for the other two but it's not enough to support all of them,") its to HELP support the TWO kids- you are supposed to provide for them as well, just like you are supposed to help provide your share for the other 5 you popped out like little rabbits.

 

["just 10"]

I know the support for the other two isn't for the whole family I was answering someones question as to weather or not I recieved support for the other "floating father". I feel that it is wrong for them to be able to give that much from one family who is still supporting kids, running the risk of them having to get "State Aid". That is why I was trying to find out if there was any legal grounds for my kids. Also, not all the kids are in school. You know what, I know what our options are for my working and not working. I also know that having 5 kids when he had 3 already would put a major strain on us financially what I didn't know was this wasn't a site for advise but more for recriminations and dissapproval. I don't recall asking weather ANY of you all liked the situation I was in, ONLY if you had any advise on how to look out for some innocent kids who apparently you all would rather I had aborted, so she can have her support without any one having to consider them. Well you can' t go back in time and abortion isn't the answer, ever neither is adoption. Like I said there is more to the story, but you aren't suppoe to be passing judgement on me. You are supposed to be giving advise. NOT unsolicited advice but legal. You know what "thanks anyway" I have no idea wht I have just frustrated myself this way. I'm like some one else I don;t know how to close this thing and I'm not going to figure it out either. This was my first and last time putting my self out there looking for an answer. We went to court with faith the other day and I guess that's what we'll do agian as well as lawyer. We aren't married because I don't want to, he wouldn't mind, but person expireince has led me away from that path. Again Im, so sorry I ever happened upon this site. And If you or someone, could find it within them selves to cose this thing out I would so appreciate it.

 

[Neal1421]

I know the support for the other two isn't for the whole family I was answering someones question as to weather or not I recieved support for the other "floating father".

So, it the father of your other children went on to have 5 more children, would you expect to receive less that you already do?

I feel that it is wrong for them to be able to give that much from one family who is still supporting kids, running the risk of them having to get "State Aid".
That is why I was trying to find out if there was any legal grounds for my kids. Also, not all the kids are in school. You know what, I know what our options are for my working and not working.

Then get a job.

I also know that having 5 kids when he had 3 already would put a major strain on us financially what I didn't know was this wasn't a site for advise but more for recriminations and dissapproval. I don't recall asking weather ANY of you all liked the situation I was in, ONLY if you had any advise on how to look out for some innocent kids who apparently you all would rather I had aborted, so she can have her support without any one having to consider them. Well you can' t go back in time and abortion isn't the answer, ever neither is adoption. Like I said there is more to the story, but you aren't suppoe to be passing judgement on me. You are supposed to be giving advise. NOT unsolicited advice but legal. You know what "thanks anyway" I have no idea wht I have just frustrated myself this way. I'm like some one else I don;t know how to close this thing and I'm not going to figure it out either. This was my first and last time putting my self out there looking for an answer. We went to court with faith the other day and I guess that's what we'll do agian as well as lawyer. We aren't married because I don't want to, he wouldn't mind, but person expireince has led me away from that path. Again Im, so sorry I ever happened upon this site. And If you or someone, could find it within them selves to cose this thing out I would so appreciate it.

Bottom line, your bf is going to have to pay more than he has been paying in support for these 3 kids and there is nothing you can do about it. If you don't like the financial strain it puts your family under, get a job.

 

[Silverplum]

I know the support for the other two isn't for the whole family I was answering someones question as to weather or not I recieved support for the other "floating father".

Bummer you have bad taste in picking dads for your kids.

I feel that it is wrong for them to be able to give that much from one family who is still supporting kids, running the risk of them having to get "State Aid". That is why I was trying to find out if there was any legal grounds for my kids.

Not really. Other than, ya know, you and DadS being responsible parents.

Also, not all the kids are in school. You know what, I know what our options are for my working and not working. I also know that having 5 kids when he had 3 already would put a major strain on us financially what I didn't know was this wasn't a site for advise but more for recriminations and dissapproval. I don't recall asking weather ANY of you all liked the situation I was in, ONLY if you had any advise on how to look out for some innocent kids who apparently you all would rather I had aborted, so she can have her support without any one having to consider them.

blahblahblah

Well you can' t go back in time and abortion isn't the answer, ever neither is adoption.

This sentence is idiocy. Adoption IS a truly valuable, kind, and loving option. Pity you didn't care enough about your kids to investigate adoption. Then again, you didn't really investigate contraception, so what difference does it make?

Like I said there is more to the story, but you aren't suppoe to be passing judgement on me. You are supposed to be giving advise. NOT unsolicited advice but legal. You know what "thanks anyway" I have no idea wht I have just frustrated myself this way.

'Cause you are a doofus, maybe?

I'm like some one else I don;t know how to close this thing and I'm not going to figure it out either. This was my first and last time putting my self out there looking for an answer. We went to court with faith the other day and I guess that's what we'll do agian as well as lawyer. We aren't married because I don't want to, he wouldn't mind, but person expireince has led me away from that path. Again Im, so sorry I ever happened upon this site. And If you or someone, could find it within them selves to cose this thing out I would so appreciate it.

Doofus, only the Site Administrator OR YOU can close the post. It's in the Instructions. The Terms of Service. All that stuff you can't be bothered to read. Also, you are supposed to search the site for answers BEFORE you post your inane blatherings. But you didn't, and now here we all are.

 

[GrowUp!]

I know the support for the other two isn't for the whole family I was answering someones question as to weather or not I recieved support for the other "floating father". I feel that it is wrong for them to be able to give that much from one family who is still supporting kids, running the risk of them having to get "State Aid".

Umm...that was the whole purpose behind the creation of the child support system -- so less families are dependant on Government programs, like Medicaid, etc. And the calculation of support owed was not something where a number was picked out of a hat. There is a calculation involved -- based on the income of your boyfriend. I am not sure if your state is income-shared or not. Also, is he providing the insurance for the children or is the mother? That's a factor into the calculation of support as well.

That is why I was trying to find out if there was any legal grounds for my kids. Also, not all the kids are in school. You know what, I know what our options are for my working and not working. I also know that having 5 kids when he had 3 already would put a major strain on us financially what I didn't know was this wasn't a site for advise but more for recriminations and dissapproval. I don't recall asking weather ANY of you all liked the situation I was in, ONLY if you had any advise on how to look out for some innocent kids who apparently you all would rather I had aborted, so she can have her support without any one having to consider them. Well you can' t go back in time and abortion isn't the answer, ever neither is adoption. Like I said there is more to the story, but you aren't suppoe to be passing judgement on me. You are supposed to be giving advise. NOT unsolicited advice but legal. You know what "thanks anyway" I have no idea wht I have just frustrated myself this way. I'm like some one else I don;t know how to close this thing and I'm not going to figure it out either. This was my first and last time putting my self out there looking for an answer. We went to court with faith the other day and I guess that's what we'll do agian as well as lawyer.

A lawyer might be able to get the court to deviate based on factors that could be provided within your state statutes. Key word is "could." It's a shock to you, but you should have also realized that -- at any time -- the mother could've filed for a modification. There are enough CS calculators online that would give you a ballpark estimate. But, in all honesty, you're not going to get much sympathy for having so many children with one guy, knowing he has a support order for three previous ones.

FEDERAL public policy is that BOTH parents are financially responsible for children they help create.

We aren't married because I don't want to, he wouldn't mind, but person expireince has led me away from that path.

Well that is your choice, but keep in mind that if you two ever split up and you decide to get an order for support, his three children will come first in the calculation of any support order you would obtain in the future.

Again Im, so sorry I ever happened upon this site. And If you or someone, could find it within them selves to cose this thing out I would so appreciate it.

Obviously you were expecting to get responses you wanted to hear. That's not how the law works.

 

[Ohiogal]

I know the support for the other two isn't for the whole family I was answering someones question as to weather or not I recieved support for the other "floating father". I feel that it is wrong for them to be able to give that much from one family who is still supporting kids, running the risk of them having to get "State Aid".

Here is the thing -- dad doesn't get out of his responsibilities just because he decides to get NEW responsibilities! So what you are saying is it is better for his former family to be on State Aid instead of this family when all the kids here are not his responsibilitY?

That is why I was trying to find out if there was any legal grounds for my kids.

Nope. Your kids have no grounds at all for this. Not at all. They are not considered involved in this situation legally.

Also, not all the kids are in school.

And? You chose to have them.

You know what, I know what our options are for my working and not working. I also know that having 5 kids when he had 3 already would put a major strain on us financially what I didn't know was this wasn't a site for advise but more for recriminations and dissapproval.

It is a site for legal advice which you are getting. The problem is the legal advice is that the court is not going to care. they are not going to feel sorry that you and this man decided to hahve five more children and he is griping that he can't support the three he is supposed to. The court won't put up with that excuse. And that is precisely what it is -- an excuse.


I don't recall asking weather ANY of you all liked the situation I was in, ONLY if you had any advise on how to look out for some innocent kids who apparently you all would rather I had aborted, so she can have her support without any one having to consider them. Well you can' t go back in time and abortion isn't the answer, ever neither is adoption.

No one is passing judgment on you like you seem to think. The judge/court is not going to care at all about the five more children this guy had and now he wants to get out of his responsibilities to his first three.
Like I said there is more to the story, but you aren't suppoe to be passing judgement on me. You are supposed to be giving advise. NOT unsolicited advice but legal. You know what "thanks anyway" I have no idea wht I have just frustrated myself this way. I'm like some one else I don;t know how to close this thing and I'm not going to figure it out either. This was my first and last time putting my self out there looking for an answer. We went to court with faith the other day and I guess that's what we'll do agian as well as lawyer. We aren't married because I don't want to, he wouldn't mind, but person expireince has led me away from that path. Again Im, so sorry I ever happened upon this site. And If you or someone, could find it within them selves to cose this thing out I would so appreciate it.

No one is going to close this out for you. There are simple instructions for closing a thread when you open it. Your blathering about ethics and morals will not get you or him anywhere considering it would be a case of pot meet kettle. So before you go trying to cast stones you need to look in the mirror.
Also the ones that have to take care of your kids are you and their fathers. NOT the court.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

I'm still laughing because she doesn't believe in birth control, yet is here whining about supporting 7 kids.