Whose weekend is it?

[kaizen]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MI

Custody papers say "Plaintiff-father shall have parenting time 3 weekends a month during the school year."

I have always taken the first weekend of the month as mine (per an old order, which just became our status quo.)

This past Christmas break was Dad's, meaning he had son on the first weekend of the month. He now tells me I don't get a weekend this month, since the order states he gets 3 weekends and "holiday times don't count towards regular visitation. So I (he) should get the 3 weekends left in January."

In past times where this has come up (holiday time on first weekend of month with Dad), I have got one weekend. We have just moved it to the second weekend of the month. Now he feels that's not the way it's written.

It's my weekend, right?

Thanks.

 

[stealth2]

You didn't include what theorder says wrt holidays. Generally, though, holidays trump regular visitation.

 

[kaizen]

The order just attached the typical holiday schedule for our county to be followed.

 

[stealth2]

I doubt he would be considered to be in contempt if he insists on the oter three weekends this month. You *might* be, if you refuse the time he is requesting.

 

[gam]

The order just attached the typical holiday schedule for our county to be followed.

How did dad have the first weekend of Jan as part of his Christmas Break? For most in Mi, the Christmas Break ended on Jan 1st, as school resumed on Jan 2nd.

If dad had Jan 4th-Jan 6th weekend as part of his Christmas Break, now you go back to the normal schedule. Which means you lost out on your weekend, as Holiday time trumps regular visitation. So dad would get the 3 remaining weekends in Jan, since he gets 3 weekends a month.

Even if you were on the normal EOW plan, it often works out that one or the other loses a weekend throughout the year to Holiday schedules.

Why does dad get 3 weekends a month, instead of the normal EOW?

No one here knows what the typical Holiday schedule is for your county, so you might want to actually tell us what that is. You don't have the typical standard plan, as dad gets 3 weekends a month instead of the standard every other weekend, so you might not have the typical Holiday schedule either. As I said the typical Holiday schedule in Mi ended on Jan 1st.

 

[kaizen]

Dad had 9PM Christmas Eve till 7PM night before school resumed. We didn't go back till Monday, 1/7.

I thought the spirit of the order was to allow me one weekend a month with son, but understand it could mean little if not in black and white.

Dad came to have 3 weekends a month because a decade ago when we divorced, we both not standard work schedules. Dad then was getting every weekend.

As time went on and schedules changed, I went back and asked for EOW. Instead, that order became written as I would get one weekend a month (the first w/e of month if not able to be agreed upon).

 

[gam]

Dad had 9PM Christmas Eve till 7PM night before school resumed. We didn't go back till Monday, 1/7.

I thought the spirit of the order was to allow me one weekend a month with son, but understand it could mean little if not in black and white.

Dad came to have 3 weekends a month because a decade ago when we divorced, we both not standard work schedules. Dad then was getting every weekend.

As time went on and schedules changed, I went back and asked for EOW. Instead, that order became written as I would get one weekend a month (the first w/e of month if not able to be agreed upon).

The spirit of the standard order of EOW is so each parent gets 2 weekends a month, but as I said often when Holidays come up, one parent loses one of those weekends to. If your going by the typical Holiday schedule for your county, there should be something in there that Holiday time trumps regular time, or that after the Holiday time the regular schedule goes back into affect. If it is not directly written into your order, then you need to check your county's FOC handbook, all the ones I have seen, have something in them on this. While the handbook is just a guideline, if it is in there, FOC or the Judge will pretty much stick with it, so it would not be worth filing contempt, you would most likely lose.

So if that is the case then you lose your weekend.

When you went back to court, did a Judge or a Ref give you only 1 weekend a month? Was there distance involved at the time and does dad have any weeknight time at all? Not typical to unless distance is involved or some other reason to not have the standard EOW.

 

[stealth2]

As time went on and schedules changed, I went back and asked for EOW. Instead, that order became written as I would get one weekend a month (the first w/e of month if not able to be agreed upon).

THat may be what kills your argument. You can't agree on a weekend, but that first weekend was part of his holiday time. I suspect he would prevail. Sorry. But at the end of the day? You're talking about two days. Is that a hill to die on?

 

[CJane]

Exactly. 1) Not a hill to die on, and 2) You'd probably lose the argument anyway, as dad did not utilize a 'weekend', but rather, his holiday time.

 

[Just Blue]

Px Hx **************.....

 

[kaizen]

Regarding post #9 and what CJane said about Dad not utilizing a weekend, but rather holiday time...

Given that, how would Easter be interpreted? It's my year for Easter, which includes the first weekend of the month. Since that then would not be me utilizing a weekend and holiday times trumping regular visitation, would I get another weekend that month as my regular weekend time?

And no, I agree with those that said it. I'm not climbing any hills, and I'm not dying over this.

Thanks.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Reality is that you get YOUR weekend and you get your holiday. It eventually evens out.

 

[gam]

Regarding post #9 and what CJane said about Dad not utilizing a weekend, but rather holiday time...

Given that, how would Easter be interpreted? It's my year for Easter, which includes the first weekend of the month. Since that then would not be me utilizing a weekend and holiday times trumping regular visitation, would I get another weekend that month as my regular weekend time?

And no, I agree with those that said it. I'm not climbing any hills, and I'm not dying over this.

Thanks.

Nope, the holiday falls on your regular visitation, remember holiday time trumps regular visitation and afterwards you go back to the regular schedule. So you will only get your 1 weekend and dad will get his 3.See correction at the bottom of my post!

At some point a Holiday that is yours will fall on one of dads regular weekends and you will steal dads weekend. So you would end up with 2 weekends that month and he would end up with 2 weekends.

It seems to even out in the typical EOW schedule, some years one parent seems to get a lot of extra weekends because of holidays. But other years it seems the other parent does. 2012, in the typical schedule, it seemed that neither parent got any extra weekends, holidays seemed just fall on whoever already had that weekend for regular visitation. In this typical schedule, if the Holiday is yours and it falls on the other parents weekend, you end up with 3 weekends in a row, the other parent loses a weekend completely.

I can't tell you if that works out even in your case, as you only have 1 weekend, and your weekend is always the first weekend of every month. So it might not work out even in your case, but it might to. What I always tell a CP is well I still would rather be the CP, because the CP still has way more time then the NCP. And yes I am fully aware, that a good portion of the CP's time is not free weekend time, but ya still get more time. Makes it a bit easier to swallow looking at it like that.

CORRECTION ON THE BOLDED PART-I screwed that up. Easter falls on the last weekend in March. So you Kaizen will get your first regular weekend in March. You then will get the last weekend in March for your Easter Holiday. You will then go to the regular schedule, which has you getting the first weekend in April, so you get 2 weekends in a row. Thanks to Tinkerbelle for showing me my mess up.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

My answer is based on the fact that Easter is on March 31st this year. She'll get the last weekend of March (besides the 1st weekend of March) and she'll get her first weekend of April.

 

[gam]

My answer is based on the fact that Easter is on March 31st this year. She'll get the last weekend of March (besides the 1st weekend of March) and she'll get her first weekend of April.

I misread yours, I took it as Easter fell on her 1st weekend, and I didn't bother looking up when Easter was. So I stand corrected, she will get what you say. At least this will show her that it's her lucky time and it tends to even out. Double bonus, because she gets an extra weekend in March and she gets 2 in a row, Easter weekend and her regular first weekend in April.