Will Question

[JML1976]

What is the name of your state? MA
Here is my situation....Had my daughter 9 yrs ago with a man I never married - we separated when she was 2. Went to court and established I have full legal custody and he has visitation rights. I am now married and have baby on the way. My question is if I die will my daughter be able to continue living in her home with her sibling and her stepfather or will she have to live with her father? Would a judge separate siblings??? And what if both my husband and I die? If we write in our will who we'd like the children to go to will that be carried out or would my daughter be given to her bio father?

 

[stealth2]

You can't "give" children in a will. They're not property like, say, puppies. Yes, the child's biofather would be the first choice for custody should anything happen to you. Your husband could petition for custody, but he'd have a time proving that he should have a greater right than the child's natural father.

 

[JML1976]

Oh I thought you made provisions in your will for your children in case of death???

So to further describe the situation....husband and I own a home, both have steady "good" jobs and provide health insurance and good life for my daughter.

Ex(bio dad) hasnt held a job steady in years - constantly on unemployment, cannot provide health ins and rarely pays child support. He doesnt have a home of his own - he was evicted out of his last apartment for non payment of rent - had his car repossed for non payment - one of his friends took him in and lets him stay in his apt so there is only 1 room that he has to share with my daughter...just not a very stable environment
*His friend actually told me that he is giving (biodad) a time limit to get his crap together or he will be out on the streets - because hes not helping with rent and he wont buy food. This friend also informed me that the only reason he was allowed into the apt in the first place is because of my daughter. This has been going on for years - hes completely lazy and irresponsible -
*Dont get me wrong here - I would never want him OUT of my daughters life - he loves her and she loves him - But I know he cant provide for her

Does any of that factor in? The thought is so scary if something happens to me that my daughter would be uprooted and placed into that mess

 

[stealth2]

When you're divorced (or never married), the situation is quite different from that when the parents remain married. The bioparent almost ALWAYS has greater standing when it comes to custody of a child.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Oh I thought you made provisions in your will for your children in case of death???

And you would be correct. You can 'provide' for them in monitary and estate matters. You can name a fiduciary guardian or even an Guardian ad Litum. You cannot sell, will or otherwise endenture them.

Does any of that factor in?

No. No matter how scarey it may seem, you're the one who spread your legs for this guy. And without his terminating his parental rights, you have no say over the matter.

 

[JML1976]

thanks for the info