Will there be justice in my contempt case?

[daddenied]

What is the name of your state?CA

Hi Miss Met4 and any others out there who are willing to help out or advise...this is long, but I felt that all the information had to be explained so no one would have to refer to the previous post.

I have been working on my OSC re: contempt for all the issues that we have already discussed in other threads:

1. Having therapist treat our son without my consent when I share joint legal custody...I wasn't informed until recently when services rendered were from 4/2003-4/2004. (BTW the therapist states she will be back from her vacation on Wed and can't answer any questions or furnish me with any records I requested until after that. The Clerk of the court states that it will be too late for the contempt issues to be heard on my 9/14/05 hearing date-where I am asking them to change the counseling agency to the therapist I found. I guess as soon as I get answers from this therapist, I will file the motion.) I'm suspicious that my ex and this therapist are friends and buying time to come up with some other untruths to cover tracks...maybe huh? Or, maybe I'm just paranoid over all of this.

2. The issue of not being able to contact my children or received return calls from my ex or their grandparents. I called Aug. 5th to speak to our children (they were visiting their grandparents) and no call back from adults or children...my ex refused to give me her parent's cell to contact them, I found it later in my phone book and called that # too on my son's birthday on Mon. 8/7 and no call back from any adult or children...I received a message on my voice mail from their grandfather saying they were there and okay and gone somewhere, but he was just returning my call on the 9th!...4 days after my initial first message left...2 days after my son's birthday. I called again once a day for the next 3 days, as I sent his bday gift FedEx on the 10th, to get to him the morning of the 11th...no call back from any adults or the children. I am further being alienated from my children by my ex and her family members.

3. The issue of my ex not adding me as their father in their school and sports records (that whole deal of not getting information from the schools for my son who left the state for 2 weeks, without my knowledge or consent...when my ex told me of his trip the day he was already on his way out of town, but she knew of this trip since May, and conveniently left it out during our hearing on July 1st, etc...)

4. The issue of my ex withholding pertinent information (i.e. I have been asking her every week now for the last 3 weeks to furnish me with her insurance information so I could help resolve the payment of our children's claims due to our insurance companies feuding over who will pay claim and her reply was "It's none of your business...I will not reply to questions I have already answered (IF she had answered them I would not be asking). In fact, I mentioned this in the other thread that I ended up writing the dentist office explaining my dilemma and they replied by sending me a ledger showing our children had services rendered in March 2005, (my ex NEVER informed me except through an email 3 weeks ago saying they all had cleanings and fillings prior to our hearing-July 1st????). The ledger showed charges of over $2000, which my insurance company paid $2100+ toward and her insurance coverage paid $100 ???? toward only one of our children's claims, leaving a balance of about $52.00, but the best part of the ledger showed that my ex had put my name down and HER address...of course, bills and statements were being sent to her house in my name and her address keeping me from knowing any of this...therefore the dentist office added finance charges for 2 months on this ledger and under patient name for these charges it has MY name! I immediately wrote, emailed and faxed the dentist office telling them I will NOT pay finance charges and that unless I signed for services to be rendered upon our children, the bills and statements should not be in my name, especially when it is not even my address. I told them that I should be listed as their father who covers them with primary dental insurance and that they should send me a separate statement and bill in my name and MY address so that I can see what I owed (1/2 of what insurance doesn't pay), but with my ex also having dental insurance...there should be no co-pay. Was I right? Or, do they have the right to have my name on the bill with my ex's address keeping me in the dark?

5. The issue of her not informing me or replying to valid questions I have about our children's educational welfare (i.e. one of our children did poorly in 2 classes that are required to have C or better grades to qualify him for Freshman admissions to any CSU's or UC's after high school...I asked about it initially and the response was that he was purposely failing his class to avoid having to visit me during the summer and have required summer school, but of course my ex said that she talked sense into him and he brought his grades up not needing summer school. The problem occured when 2 weeks after my ex told me this I contacted our son's counselor who said he was just signed up for summer school and it was NECESSARY for him to make up both classes. I was concerned when she sent him away for 3 weeks to visit her parents a week before summer school ended. I asked and have continued to ask in my weekly emails for 3 weeks now and she has refused to answer my questions about it...I even sent her a copy of what the counselor sent me, contradicting what she said the outcome had been, and still refusal to answer any questions.

6. And, of course the last issue of her being in contempt from Dec. 2004-June 2005 re: visitation...my filed police reports, etc... I know you said to frame the motion, but the Fresno FLF attorney told me that the courts will most likely not agree with me filing this, because the issue of visitation and custody has already been addressed and should have been done prior to July 1st, even after I explained what had happened with my attorney. I'm very discouraged at this point and time.

So...with all that said these are the issues of contempt that are on my motion, and I am just waiting for information and answers from the therapist who saw our son without my consent. Do you really believe the courts will listen to me, or will they just slap her wrist, scold her and I still have to deal with her madness? Fresno FLF is stating that they will not help me with contempt paperwork, because in their county they prefer that I file an enforcement first...I tried explaining, but they said what they said and that was it.

BTW, my ex was served with my motion to change therapy agency on the 3rd or 4th. The motion included a letter from her agency of choice stating they cannot accomodate weekend visitations and only M-F 9-5pm (a time that not only I am unavailable, but our children who are all in school and participate in sports during this time). Even after being served that and seeing this for herself, I emailed her on Fri. 8/12 asking her to please reconsider being difficult and unfair and have the kids at the session Sat. 8/13 (I had told her this on 8/5 too) so we could start the process that was supposed to start July 8th amongst other things. This is what I wrote in the last message:
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"I am again asking that you please have the boys at (counseling center I found) tomorrow (Sat. 8/13/05) at 12pm for our session that is scheduled with (therapist)You promised the judge pro tem in court on 7/1/05 that you would have the children back today in order to have them in session with me on Saturday. I hope you were not again telling your half truths. Besides all the correspondence you have received from me explaining why we cannot have counseling at CYS, you were served last week with a motion further explaining what transpired. Please have them there and help me do what your 8/2/05 email suggested I do (in your own words)...

"redirect your energies to repairing your relationship with the boys"

I've been TRYING to do this since our hearing and you are the one who has been delaying it ignoring not only my correspondence but CYS' letter to you stating that services cannot be rendered on Saturdays as court ordered. Let's coparent cooperatively. Let me start working on my relationship with our children that our failed marriage has hurt as well as your sabotaging efforts. And, while we start doing that, again I suggest you take your own advice and seek counseling to help you build some self worth and self esteem.

I am copying the questions that you either ignored the last time I inquired or gave me partial responses. Please reply in full immediately. (I copied the questions about insurance and education in this area that went unanswered the week before)

Hope to see the children on Saturday.
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Her response was:

"I am not going to continue to respond to your repetitive questioning about issues to which I have already responded. You may consider my reminders harassment, but until you schedule your appointment with CYS, your continued posturing does nothing to rectify your relationship with the children. I recommend that you stop playing games and wasting time and redirect your energies to repairing your relationship with the boys.
The boys will not be attending any unsanctioned sessions with (name of therapist I found). The court order states that the mother shall select said provider. I have chosen CYS and again recommend that you contact them to set up your orientation.

-continued-

 

[daddenied]

-continued-

-cont-

She then sent another message a few hours later in big bolded letters, stating:

Reminder - should you decide to appear in Fresno this weekend, you are not to come by my house as you did previously. There is absolutely no reason for you to do so. You have already been notified numerous times that (therapist name) is not a sanctioned provider and that you need to contact CYS to set up your orientation appointment. You are not allowed visitation with the boys outside of a therapeutic setting so offers to have lunch, go to the movies or notes left on the front door mentioning court proceedings to the boys are highly inappropriate.
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This is the kind of crap that has been going on. And, she is referring to July 22nd, when I was in Fresno and emailed her at all her addresses as well as called and left her a message on her work voice mail saying I was coming by her place to pick up our son's itinerary since she told me of his trip after he had already left and stated previously she would get the schedule and itinerary to me on Mon. the 25th AFTER the LV tournament was done...it was when I went to LV to look for his games and missed everyone of them. I left her a note on the door asking her to please call me when she got back so I could come by again for the schedule and left a note for our children telling them I am supposed to see them in therapy, nothing more, so I don't know what she is referring to about telling them of court proceedings...???

Please help me feel better about our justice system and tell me that I have a case of contempt here. I'm just so frustrated! I plan on asking the judge on Sept. 14th to allow real visits for Thanksgiving and Christmas since now the sessions will go into the holidays since the first Sat. after the hearing is Sept. 17th (10 weeks after the sessions were supposed to start and 7 or 8 weeks behind on the session schedule) Do you think the judge will allow it? Again, there is no history of DV or abuse in our family and I feel that I have lost my children to their mother's influences.

Thanks for listening.

 

[casa]

-cont-

She then sent another message a few hours later in big bolded letters, stating:

Reminder - should you decide to appear in Fresno this weekend, you are not to come by my house as you did previously. There is absolutely no reason for you to do so. You have already been notified numerous times that (therapist name) is not a sanctioned provider and that you need to contact CYS to set up your orientation appointment. You are not allowed visitation with the boys outside of a therapeutic setting so offers to have lunch, go to the movies or notes left on the front door mentioning court proceedings to the boys are highly inappropriate.
----------------------------------------------------------------

This is the kind of crap that has been going on. And, she is referring to July 22nd, when I was in Fresno and emailed her at all her addresses as well as called and left her a message on her work voice mail saying I was coming by her place to pick up our son's itinerary since she told me of his trip after he had already left and stated previously she would get the schedule and itinerary to me on Mon. the 25th AFTER the LV tournament was done...it was when I went to LV to look for his games and missed everyone of them. I left her a note on the door asking her to please call me when she got back so I could come by again for the schedule and left a note for our children telling them I am supposed to see them in therapy, nothing more, so I don't know what she is referring to about telling them of court proceedings...???

Please help me feel better about our justice system and tell me that I have a case of contempt here. I'm just so frustrated! I plan on asking the judge on Sept. 14th to allow real visits for Thanksgiving and Christmas since now the sessions will go into the holidays since the first Sat. after the hearing is Sept. 17th (10 weeks after the sessions were supposed to start and 7 or 8 weeks behind on the session schedule) Do you think the judge will allow it? Again, there is no history of DV or abuse in our family and I feel that I have lost my children to their mother's influences.

Thanks for listening.

usually with contempt in CA there will be a verbal warning/admonishment...and then an enforcement order (as Fresno was explaining to you)...and THEN other sanctions if the behavior continues.

Most of what you are doing is for the purpose of creating documentation, paper trail and bringing the court's attention the issues at hand.

Re; the supervised visitation: If the court ordered you to attend a specific place- you need to attend that place. If the hours make it impossible for that to happen- then you need to file the paperwork from them with the court and formally request the court allow you to attend supervised visitation center at an alternate location. Provide the court with options for an alternate location. It sounds as though you have done this re; the therapist- but you must now await the court's decision...e-mailing her anything prior to the court making a decision is just spinning your wheels. She will change nothing unless/until ordered to do so.

Re; therapy without your consent. I hate it when this happens, and yes it is technically contempt- but you must be careful that you don't 'appear' to have a problem with the children being in therapy, as opposed to the person they are in therapy with. The fact that you have filed a motion to change therapists is good, and again you will have to wait until the court makes a decision on whether to allow the change or not.

School information is your responsibility to find out. Now that you have corrected the records information, you can contact the school directly in order to receive copies of their records and report cards. The solution from the beginning was simply to provide your court order to the school establishing you are the father to the children. It was a slimy thing for her to leave you off the records- but it's not necessarily punishable by the courts.

Take your X's advice re; any requests for visits outside of what your court order dictates. If you continue to show up at the house or leave notes requesting time with the children which is not outlined in your court order (now that she's asked you in writing to stop- will leave you open to her filing harassment).

I know these things are distressing and irritating- but you must realize the system is not always prompt...there are dozens of cases waiting in the same line to be settled. Be patient and keep doing the right thing according to your court order. Verbatim.

Just keep doing the right things and following the rules of the system and your court order until you find a resolution to all this mess.

 

[daddenied]

Thank you

Re; the supervised visitation: If the court ordered you to attend a specific place- you need to attend that place. If the hours make it impossible for that to happen- then you need to file the paperwork from them with the court and formally request the court allow you to attend supervised visitation center at an alternate location. Provide the court with options for an alternate location. It sounds as though you have done this re; the therapist- but you must now await the court's decision...e-mailing her anything prior to the court making a decision is just spinning your wheels. She will change nothing unless/until ordered to do so.

Yes, the motion was filed due to the order being that it be done at CYS on Saturdays only to accomodate my living over 250 miles away and the children's school and after school activities. I called all insurance covered providers and agencies in the Fresno area and found 1 agency and 1 therapist there who would accomodate Sat. visits, I think the reason I continue to write once a week asking her to reconsider waiting until the Sept. 14th date is to plead with her to be cooperative...that's all. And, I guess I foolishly hope she will change her mind and not be unreasonable.

Re; therapy without your consent. I hate it when this happens, and yes it is technically contempt- but you must be careful that you don't 'appear' to have a problem with the children being in therapy, as opposed to the person they are in therapy with. The fact that you have filed a motion to change therapists is good, and again you will have to wait until the court makes a decision on whether to allow the change or not.

Actually, not sure if I explained, but Met4 has been assisting me on this one...the therapy I am referring to was therapy my ex had our son in from Apr. 2003-Apr. 2004 without my knowledge or consent. I was informed only this year, I believe of this in an email from her saying that he was suicidal and had therapy because of me, yet in her response she furnished a letter from the therapist who saw our son that simply stated she treated him or saw him for 22 sessions during that year period due to his distress from his parent's recent divorce and also his distress visiting with his father. Yet, all visitations from Apr. 2003-around Oct. 2003 were done in the comfort of his own home and my ex present as our relationship was amicable at the time, I wrote and contacted the therapist and asked her a bunch of questions Met4 and someone else here suggested I ask and she is out of town until Wed and said she will reply after. I explained that IF I knew our son was having such anxiety at the time, not almost 2 years after she started seeing him, I would have been more than open to counseling and therapy to help him. BTW, I am a counselor myself. In regards to the therapy that is ordered now, it is therapeutic supervised visitation every Saturday for 12 weeks...her choice of agency which was not named in the actual court order, but appears on the minute order has written to the both of us saying they cannot accomodate Sat. visitation. My ex seems not to case, which is strange to me and causes me to worry about what other tricks she has up her sleave for our Sept. 14th hearing.

School information is your responsibility to find out. Now that you have corrected the records information, you can contact the school directly in order to receive copies of their records and report cards. The solution from the beginning was simply to provide your court order to the school establishing you are the father to the children. It was a slimy thing for her to leave you off the records- but it's not necessarily punishable by the courts.

In Mar. 2004 I attempted to get information on all of my children, between 3 separate schools and furnished them our court order showing joint legal and physical custody. The schools sporadically kept me partially informed, but said it was our children's responsibility and not theirs to keep me informed as well as my ex's responsibility since she is CP. I again recently furnished them with the most recent order which states the same thing. Although in the order it gives me the right to obtain any and all information on our children, the order specifically states that my ex MUST reply promptly to any questions or concerns I have about our children and cooperate in resolving any issues in school, athletics, medical, etc... She is REFUSING to give me any information. I ask her as well as the schools, coaches and doctors and when I do not receive a reply from the other places, a week later I ask her again. I told her I would not email her, but once a week regarding our children so as not to harrass her. She on the other hand chooses to email me several times in the week reminding me that my relationship with our children is bad, they hate me, I have to go to her choice of agency when she KNOWS they cannot accomodate us, etc...

Take your X's advice re; any requests for visits outside of what your court order dictates. If you continue to show up at the house or leave notes requesting time with the children which is not outlined in your court order (now that she's asked you in writing to stop- will leave you open to her filing harassment).

Nowhere on the order does it say that I cannot see or have my children outside of counseling. Each time I have asked for them I have stated to my ex that she should come along if she is really concerned about their safety, which has never been an issue in the past until my relationship my present girlfriend became serious. The ONLY time I ever showed up at her house was AFTER informing her through email and message on her work phone that I was in town and was coming by her place to pick up our son's schedule so I would be able to see him play in the weekend tournament. I know that she received the email message, because she replied to it but did not address my coming over for the schedule, she simply said what she always says...you can't see the kids except in therapy. Again, nowhere on there says I cannot ask to see them and have other visitation with them, I showed it to the FRESNO FLF attorney and she says the same thing. I worry that she is telling the kids that I don't want to be a part of their lives, etc...Am I foolish?

I know these things are distressing and irritating- but you must realize the system is not always prompt...there are dozens of cases waiting in the same line to be settled. Be patient and keep doing the right thing according to your court order. Verbatim.

Just keep doing the right things and following the rules of the system and your court order until you find a resolution to all this mess.

Thank you for replying. I appreciate it. Does this mean that my filing contempt is not the right thing to do? Sorry...I am all messed up over this.

 

[casa]

Thank you for replying. I appreciate it. Does this mean that my filing contempt is not the right thing to do? Sorry...I am all messed up over this.

No! You SHOULD file!! She needs to be accountable, to any extent! Just getting it filed and the court aware, should help somewhat...plus give you the basis for any future sanctions. It's atrocious what she's put you through...I feel for you.

No you are not being foolish- it's understandable that you are concerned about her alienation.

Yes, I recall you are a counselor...I was one of the people helping you in previous threads. Did you get the formal letter re; school records, etc? If not, it can be printed from www.deltabravo.net You can force them to give you the information- it's a Federal Law and has nothing to do with whether you are the custodial or non-custodial parent.

If the court ordered supervised visitation and outlined a schedule- then that is the ONLY visitation you are legally entitled to at the time. While the order may not say you 'cannot' have other visitation- it likewise does not say you 'can' have other visitation. See what I'm saying?

This woman is not going to cooperate with you...you will have to do every single thing by the law and through the courts.

I'm so sorry you are going through this! Have you tried to write the children? Send cards? send them 1st class mail, returned receipts so you have piece of mind they were received...and it may help in the future proving you are attempting to remain in contact with them.

Keep doing everything you are doing...except attempting visitation outside the court order. Just play it safe for now. Eventually the supervised visitations will get worked out and she will lose that control. you will have documentation of her contempt- these things will drive her nuts. She'll be forced to behave more rationally, or suffer more and more severe consequences.

Stay dedicated!

 

[daddenied]

Yes, I recall you are a counselor...I was one of the people helping you in previous threads. Did you get the formal letter re; school records, etc? If not, it can be printed from www.deltabravo.net You can force them to give you the information- it's a Federal Law and has nothing to do with whether you are the custodial or non-custodial parent.

I'm so sorry you are going through this! Have you tried to write the children? Send cards? send them 1st class mail, returned receipts so you have piece of mind they were received...and it may help in the future proving you are attempting to remain in contact with them.

Keep doing everything you are doing...except attempting visitation outside the court order. Just play it safe for now. Eventually the supervised visitations will get worked out and she will lose that control. you will have documentation of her contempt- these things will drive her nuts. She'll be forced to behave more rationally, or suffer more and more severe consequences.

Stay dedicated!

Yes, I do remember you were helping me through this...thank you. And, I will do everything to stay within the realms of the law...I thought I WAS doing that, but I will no longer ask to see them outside of therapy until the courts order otherwise. I CAN still watch their sporting events though right?

I'll print that letter and send it to the schools. With all that has been happening, I let that slip by unintentionally. I've sent them letters and cards and birthday gifts with no replies, except from the ex who says I can't buy them...but I laugh, because I have no money to try to buy them if I wanted to and the only gifts sent are for occasions (i.e. birthdays, christmas, etc...) Or, I send pictures of us from their last summer's visit with me which was incredible. I miss them tremendously and some days feel as if I cannot go on, but then I think..."WHY? I can't give up. Stop crying and do what you have to do" I tell myself. It's tough and all I can do is pray that all will work out somehow. Email correspondence I send them are read by my ex and replied to from her as well. She's an Internet addict so I am unsure if she even has them on the computer???? I've had no contact with them over the phone or through email or mail, but once or twice when she has had them call me and tell me they don't want to visit. HER words? Their words? I don't know. I feel forsaken by them and many days I feel saddened and betrayed by my children who I thought I was very good to...up until this whole madness, I felt that even though we sucked as marital partners before the divorce I thought we were both pretty good parents...I guess I must've been wrong. I also wonder sometimes if "system" kids or divorced children have a whole set of different rules than children who exist in nuclear families. Does that make sense? Hmmm...

Again, thank you and Met4 and everyone else who have been extremely helpful and encouraging. I can't promise that this won't be too much to handle, but will continue to persevere for now.

 

[casa]

Yes, I do remember you were helping me through this...thank you. And, I will do everything to stay within the realms of the law...I thought I WAS doing that, but I will no longer ask to see them outside of therapy until the courts order otherwise. I CAN still watch their sporting events though right?

I'll print that letter and send it to the schools. With all that has been happening, I let that slip by unintentionally. I've sent them letters and cards and birthday gifts with no replies, except from the ex who says I can't buy them...but I laugh, because I have no money to try to buy them if I wanted to and the only gifts sent are for occasions (i.e. birthdays, christmas, etc...) Or, I send pictures of us from their last summer's visit with me which was incredible. I miss them tremendously and some days feel as if I cannot go on, but then I think..."WHY? I can't give up. Stop crying and do what you have to do" I tell myself. It's tough and all I can do is pray that all will work out somehow. Email correspondence I send them are read by my ex and replied to from her as well. She's an Internet addict so I am unsure if she even has them on the computer???? I've had no contact with them over the phone or through email or mail, but once or twice when she has had them call me and tell me they don't want to visit. HER words? Their words? I don't know. I feel forsaken by them and many days I feel saddened and betrayed by my children who I thought I was very good to...up until this whole madness, I felt that even though we sucked as marital partners before the divorce I thought we were both pretty good parents...I guess I must've been wrong. I also wonder sometimes if "system" kids or divorced children have a whole set of different rules than children who exist in nuclear families. Does that make sense? Hmmm...

Again, thank you and Met4 and everyone else who have been extremely helpful and encouraging. I can't promise that this won't be too much to handle, but will continue to persevere for now.

You can maintain a relationship with the children by continuing to fight for your right to be in their lives. It's not that they've forsaken you- I'm fairly certain she has twisted them with her own version of events. Children of divorce have a lot to deal with, but children are resilient. They may be trusting of her portrayal of you being in their lives- but eventually they figure out who's who.

I believe that phone contact (or e-mail) would be something you should ask for the court to hear- considering the distance between you. A parent should be able to talk to their children when they can't see them in person.

Keep sending the cards, maybe add a few simple letters just saying you miss them & are thinking of them, etc. Nothing to do with the issues w/Mom or in court...

The letter also works for medical records, so keep that in mind.

Don't stop believing.

 

[daddenied]

Can I file contempt motion and amend later?

Hello Casa and Met4 and anyone else who can help.

Can I file my contempt motion right now asking the courts to have it heard on Sept. 14th with the change of therapist and counseling agency hearing? I was told by the Clerk that it would be too soon a court date for me to file and have it served? I am confused. I have the paperwork ready for contempt and am just waiting for the information from the therapist who saw my son without my consent? Can I file it without the information and when I receive it attach it and amend it? Please let me know what the procedure is and if I can even do this. Otherwise, I will wait for the information from the therapist then file the motion and have a separate court date from Sept. 14th.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Yes, file the motion for contempt today based on the items that were to have been heard in Feb-5 and continued to 7-1-5 hearing and now filed as per the judges order to you to file them, while you need the evidence for the hearing, it wasn't needed for the motion, this could have been done within days of the FLF filing the motion. You may cite the sections of CCCP approx 473 I already gave you which will allow you to file it after the fact and also to amend. I already gave you that section early on so you should have printed it out. At worst it may be continued to the next time.

You can explain why the complete motion could not be submitted, that evidence and discovery still continue. It is very import to establish how long your ex has been violating the existing orders in order to interfere with your visitation including but not limited moving away from the area creating the distance and misinforming both you and the court essentially abducting them forcing you to contact the DA office on abducted children to get any visitation, this is one of the basis of the contempt and how she asked for current orders restrictions, knowing they could not be met, that is why you may wish to ask for both contempt and sanctions. DO you have the records from the reports re abducted children, you will need those as evidence as well?

I hope you have made copies of all cards etc you have sent to your children so that the court can make sure they are given to the children possibly in therapy, it is unlikely that she gave them to the children and very possible that they have been lead to believe that you abondoned them for your girlfriend so she can justify to the children and her family, all she has done.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Don't forget when you go to court to ask for her to be ordered to pay your, transportation costs re visitation and court because she created the distance, therapy co pays and court costs. Have all the fees, retainer, prep fees, copying, postage, ready, also ask for all arrearages and child support to be forgiven, adjusted since she began interfereing with visitation.

Another issue is the fact that in addition to not informing you in a timely manner of routine medical care, discussing it or getting your consent, that by intentionally doing that and giving her address and opening mail addrressed to you, she has violated USC in addition to California laws. I will look up the section and post it later. You may have some cause of action since she has essentially committed identity theft, please report to all the credit agencies that she has done this fraud and report it to the DA office in LA county since you are the one affected in LA county, have her be responsible to someone else, get a case number and include it in your filings.

Since these are all new evidence discovered since the 7-1-5 court date, motion the court to dismiss the mediation report from evidence (this has essentially been done by ordering another, but this will mean that the new mediator will not have access to it) and to enforce the original court order until an EC730 is completed at her expense.

Ask for a tempoary order of full custody and support until the EC730 is completed and that she only be granted supervised visitation of 1 hour every other week in LA county at an agency that can accommodate the visitation, furtheremore motion that the jurisdiciton be returned to Riverside or LA county since her perjury was the reason for removing the children from the jurisdiction in the first place. Be prepared to move into suitable housing at least a 3 bedroom, not your girlfriend's house since that is an issue and don't get married just to make it convenient, remember you will not be paying support and might receive support.

This will be after school starts so it will be difficult on the children, remember she is the one who moved them in the first place. Hopefully you can find a school with appropriate sports programs for them and be sure to provide educational support for the child needing it. If they didn't complete the class in summer school because mom took them out to send them off to grandparents house to interfere with visitation, make sure they take the class in adult school during the year, that will count as well. It is possible that they will have other options, such as to attend community college, work or join the military.

Since she is a computer geek: http://www.usdoj.gov/criminal/cybercrime/usc2701.htm
and
18 U.S.C. 2510. Chapter 119 - Wire and Electronic Communications Interception and Interception of Oral Communications

http://www.usdoj.gov/04foia/1974condis.htm

 

[daddenied]

Another issue is the fact that in addition to not informing you in a timely manner of routine medical care, discussing it or getting your consent, that by intentionally doing that and giving her address and opening mail addrressed to you, she has violated USC in addition to California laws. I will look up the section and post it later. You may have some cause of action since she has essentially committed identity theft, please report to all the credit agencies that she has done this fraud and report it to the DA office in LA county since you are the one affected in LA county, have her be responsible to someone else, get a case number and include it in your filings.


When I first got that information from the dentist office, I was livid! I wondered if this were a form of identity theft...anyhow, thank you, I will do this asap. I have one question about it though...after getting it, I worried about my credit and everything else that could possibly come out of something like this...she knows all of my personal information and I wondered if I should change my SSN and also put in for a individual change of address from HER address she has shown in the records to my real address here in LA county. Should I do that or will I be breaking the law?

Since these are all new evidence discovered since the 7-1-5 court date, motion the court to dismiss the mediation report from evidence (this has essentially been done by ordering another, but this will mean that the new mediator will not have access to it) and to enforce the original court order until an EC730 is completed at her expense.

How do I motion the court to do this? Do I include it in the motion I am filing today re: contempt or must it be done separately?

Ask for a tempoary order of full custody and support until the EC730 is completed and that she only be granted supervised visitation of 1 hour every other week in LA county at an agency that can accommodate the visitation, furtheremore motion that the jurisdiciton be returned to Riverside or LA county since her perjury was the reason for removing the children from the jurisdiction in the first place. Be prepared to move into suitable housing at least a 3 bedroom, not your girlfriend's house since that is an issue and don't get married just to make it convenient, remember you will not be paying support and might receive support.

I feel like and idiot and a fool sometimes, but Miss Met4 I REALLY don't want to snatch my kids up away from their friends, schools, sports activities, etc... In fact, even with my ex's wickedness, I really don't want to take them from her, yet I would be lying if I didn't say that lately the thought hasn't crossed my mind. I'd love for them to live with me if they wanted to...I know...some might call me too soft, but I really am doing what I am doing for 1 thing and 1 reason...I simply want to see my kids when I want to and I want to do only what is in the best interest of the kids...a healthy relationship with both parents and not just a warped one with the influence of their mother.
This will be after school starts so it will be difficult on the children, remember she is the one who moved them in the first place. Hopefully you can find a school with appropriate sports programs for them and be sure to provide educational support for the child needing it. If they didn't complete the class in summer school because mom took them out to send them off to grandparents house to interfere with visitation, make sure they take the class in adult school during the year, that will count as well. It is possible that they will have other options, such as to attend community college, work or join the military.

I'm uncomfortable with doing this, not that I couldn't immediately get help to get into a bigger place and I would never move them into my girlfriends...we have been talking about marriage but not until next year around Fall or Christmas, so you don't have to worry about hasty decisions, Would I be seen as wanting to disrupt their lives?

Since she is a computer geek: http://www.usdoj.gov/criminal/cybercrime/usc2701.htm
and
18 U.S.C. 2510. Chapter 119 - Wire and Electronic Communications Interception and Interception of Oral Communications

http://www.usdoj.gov/04foia/1974condis.htm

Thanks! When I get off I will complete everything with the suggested additions.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Make a police report of the theft of mail and then take the report number and make a complaint with the USPS re the theft of mail at this point you know of at least the dentist bills being stolen, you have no idea what else at this point.

Go online at USPS and do a change of address from her address for mail addressed to you and any form your name might take.

Contact the SSA re the possibility of changing your SSN.

Get a copy of your credit report.

Make the motion for EC 730 on the same Fl 310 form as the other motions, you can do this at any time in the proceedings, I already posted this for you in the past, be sure to ask that the court order her to pay for the evaluation because of her contempt, do not offer to pay for it or split the cost. This should take a pargraph on the form much simpler than the contempt motions. This should be heard, possibly sooner, you might see if they that exparte hours where it could be submitted sooner.

You are describing what is sometimes called PAS parental alienation syndrome, which is very hard to prove in Pro Per. Just concentrate on the facts and evidence you have and her intentional acts of contempt. Let the judge consider the welfare of your children and the fact that your intent has been their best interest all along. Unfortunately, you having their best interest in mind only feeds her case, that is why you have to consider filing as suggested in order to correct the situation. Hopefully the EC 730 evaluation will uncover her underlying psychological disprders responsible for her behaviors. Unfortunately the same laws that protect people also alow crafty people to abuse the very persons the law is designed to protect.

Remember she is the one who has crossed the line and is using your children as pawns. If your children adjusted to a change before, thye will do it again. If and or when she appears to be rehabilitated, her visitation might be increased, but it is very possible that she will always have undue influence over your children.

 

[daddenied]

Fresno won't accept fax filings

Okay, I understand. I hope my concerns did not frustrate you. I have printed everything you have ever posted to help assist me and will be sure to note all BTW, I called the clerk just to confirm that fax filing was okay and was disappointed when he told me that Fresno does not accept fax filing. The legal fax filing agency I contacted said to be sure they accept fax filing first. L I’ve already taken so much time off from work and cannot take any time off until at least the week of the hearing. My girlfriend may be able to drive into Fresno and file it in person this week, but that may be a stretch too. I am considering FedEx-ing it over night. J I realize you stated the best way was to fax or do it in person, but my hands may be tied here. Thanks again!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Okay, I understand. I hope my concerns did not frustrate you. I have printed everything you have ever posted to help assist me and will be sure to note all BTW, I called the clerk just to confirm that fax filing was okay and was disappointed when he told me that Fresno does not accept fax filing. The legal fax filing agency I contacted said to be sure they accept fax filing first. L I’ve already taken so much time off from work and cannot take any time off until at least the week of the hearing. My girlfriend may be able to drive into Fresno and file it in person this week, but that may be a stretch too. I am considering FedEx-ing it over night. J I realize you stated the best way was to fax or do it in person, but my hands may be tied here. Thanks again!

Do you have any family, friends or church members willing to go to Fresno and physically file the motions for you? If you overnight the filings, you still have to wait for them to be processed and returned before you can serve her, or you might have the legal services company see if they have another company up there to do that, you might look for a different company that has different branch offices in both LA and Fresno.

 

[daddenied]

Do you have any family, friends or church members willing to go to Fresno and physically file the motions for you? If you overnight the filings, you still have to wait for them to be processed and returned before you can serve her, or you might have the legal services company see if they have another company up there to do that, you might look for a different company that has different branch offices in both LA and Fresno.

Unfortunately if my girlfriend is unable to get away from her responsibilities this week, I don't really have anyone else who is willing to go up to Fresno to do this. I called the legal services company, but was told that even legal services companies up in Fresno would need for me to mail it to them so they can have original signatures and then they would be able to do it. It was too late for me to reach anyone in the Fresno office I was referred to so will call them tomorow and see what can be done. I figure if I can get help from them, I can overnight the motion to them tomorrow for them to take into the court house and file for me on Wednesday. I don't even want to think about the fees I will be charged for this. I may have to end up mailing it in myself and just waiting which
I know is not the best thing to do.

BTW, I just received an email message from my ex telling me that 2 of our children went to the Ortho office today for initial appointments. She outlined what it would cost, stating:

The total charge (per child) for treatment is as follows:
$4932 Total treatment charge
- $568 Insurance adjustment
-$1000 Guardian insurance coverage
$3364 Total due
-$1009 Required down payment to start procedure
$2364 Remaining balance to be financed over 24 months
In other words, in order to cover the orthodontic costs for child 1 and child 2, you will need to provide (orthodontist name) with ½ of the required down payment which totals $2,018 ($1009 your portion/$1009 my portion). Then, the remaining $4728 will be divided by 24 months at a rate of $197 per month ($98.50 your portion/$98.50 my portion).

Bear in mind, the charges for child 3 will most likely be comparable which would place total charges for each of us at $1,513.50 for the down payment and $147.75/mo for the financed portion."

My reply was:

In reply to your email today, I hope that you have not already signed and authorized for these services to be rendered according to the payment plan you outlined. You are right...I was mistaken. I checked with Delta Dental and orthodontia is NOT covered, so that is wonderful that you have such great insurance! Nonetheless, I cannot afford to pay the amounts as outlined. Reminder-We are ordered to:

”share in the right and responsibility to make decisions in matters that relate to the health, education and welfare of the children” and also that we “shall consult and cooperate with each other on substantial matters related to health, education…and welfare of the children”.

I am willing to seek 2 other providers with your help preferably since you live in the area who might be more cost efficient. I will not be responsible for any services past today's initial appointment that you have signed for without my consent.

My question is, because she and I are supposed to consult with each other on these matters, is she able to just sign and authorize the services and charges above without my consent? I cannot afford that! I had actually written a letter and sent it through email, USPS and fax to this orthodontist on Aug. 1st...he never replied or acknowledged receipt of it, but my ex stated she was told by the ortho office that I had written. My letter was basically telling him that less the initial exam, no services should be rendered or charges authorized until we (both my ex and I) discuss it and agree upon it. The amount she is telling me to put down is almost 90% of my monthly net disposable income after taxes and CS is taken out. Do I have any recourse? I have a feeling that my ex is going to somehow get the monies to pay the ortho in full from her family and then turn over 1/2 of it to DCSS to charge me interest. I figure there is nothing I can do about it until my financial situation changes, but wonder if I am stuck and she DOES have the right to make this decision on her own. ????

BTW, my girlfriend and I spoke earlier today and decided that we may have to somehow come up with money to afford another attorney...a decent one I understand we all use aliases here, but do you or any of the other people who have been helping me on this forum know of any good attorneys in the Fresno area who would be willing to help me especially with all of the contempt issues and everything else that keeps being added to the mix? I appreciate any direction you can offer.

Thanks!