Will we lose custody?

[commentator]

There was a case here in TN where the parents of a murdered person had to watch the children's custody given gradually to the woman who did the killing. Deserved or not, best for the children or not, he was an abuser or not, (I sort of suspect maybe not.....) that was a torturing ordeal. Those children are now long gone and out on their own as adults. But reunification with parents is usually what judges like to see. That this person has never had a relationship with the child before is going to weigh in, due of course to his own actions and situation. But then, he IS the father and the child will eventually end up having some relationship or another with him if he desires it and performs for it. In the best of all worlds, he will get his life straightened out, move forward positively and you and your wife can co-parent with him and all of you can love and support this child together.

 

[Devotedgrandad]

His dad has only been out a little over a year. This has been the baby’s home for three years. It’s hard t

 

[Devotedgrandad]

Yes we were told that his past doesn’t matter. That the courts are only gonna look at the past 15 months and he has been doing good since he was released.

 

[Zigner]

Frankly, if dad truly is reformed, then why shouldn't he be entitled to his child? Not right away, of course, but over time his time with his child should increase until he gains full custody.

 

[Devotedgrandad]

He has never lived with dad, dad was locked up when he was born. When his mom died he came here with us. Just because his dad has managed to keep his life together for a year doesn’t mean this child’s life should be turned upside down.

 

[Devotedgrandad]

July 9th I’m afraid they are just gonna have him leave then.

 

[stealth2]

Remember that a *good* lawyer will never give you a guarantee of a specific outcome. It's not easy to hear, but it's always better to be prepared for the worst.

That said, I do hope you will keep us updated - we're rooting for the best possible outcome for your little man.

 

[not2cleverRed]

July 9th I’m afraid they are just gonna have him leave then.

Try to think of positive suggestions to facilitate a smooth transition.

 

[Devotedgrandad]

? I don’t undersatand

 

[Zigner]

? I don’t undersatand

Expect that there WILL be a transition. Please work toward making it a positive event in your grandchild's life.

I commend you for what you've done for the child.

 

[Devotedgrandad]

Would it hurt my case if I sat down with my son and agreed to my son having custody of the child and in return asking for every other weekend. Two weeks in the summer. And a holiday visitation.

 

[stealth2]

Would it hurt my case if I sat down with my son and agreed to my son having custody of the child and in return asking for every other weekend. Two weeks in the summer. And a holiday visitation.

I would discuss any such action with your lawyer first.

What *I* would do is start coming up with a "step-up" plan, building on your son's current parenting time in steps to help your grandson get used to the new arrangements, to the point of Dad having custody and you/grandma having visitation that you can all three agree upon. Hopefully your son understands how influential you've been in the boy's upbringing and how difficult it will be for *him* (your grandson) if contact is severely reduced or cut off.

 

[LdiJ]

Would it hurt my case if I sat down with my son and agreed to my son having custody of the child and in return asking for every other weekend. Two weeks in the summer. And a holiday visitation.

Grandpa, people on an internet message forum should not have influence over your decision as to how to proceed. Your attorney is the one who should have that influence. You are running scared right now and that is not the time or the way to make decisions. I do agree however that easing your grandchild into any changes is generally going to be the easiest transition for him.

 

[stealth2]

@Devotedgrandad - just wanted to wish you luck in court tomorrow. Please let us know how it went.