Willing parents

[nhawkjo]

What is the name of your state? IDAHO

The father of my 11 month old has agreed to sign over his parental rights... unfortunatley I have been told that that a judge would normally not allow the father to sign over his rights unless there was another father/person to take over those rights.
I want to look into an idea that my folks would be the ones to take over those rights. If the father were to sign over the rights and something were to happen to me... I would lose my job...etc. They would agree to take over financial responsibility for my daughter.
Can someone tell me how to persue that or if it has ever been done?
Thanks for your help!
A little background: His name is not on the BC. He has seen her a handfull of times when she was a newborn and has never given anything to her for support EVER. He has not seen her in over six months and has said and written down... if he has to pay child support he wants every holiday, every other weekend and summers with her. But, if I can find a judge to let him sign his rights over he would. He is a liar and a manipulator. Please help me get him out of her life forever. He is not the man I thought he was when I almost married him a couple years ago.
Thank you!

 

[lonelyandsad]

hes still gotta pay cs wether he wants to or not

ny-theyre right,normally you cant have a bio father sign over his rights unless you have a husband willing to take over the responsibilty,such as a stepfather.if you were to lose your job,your parents could help you out untill you find a new job,but hes still on the hook for child support.if you were to pass away,he would get custody,and your parents could file and would probaly get visitation rights.

 

[nhawkjo]

I don't care about Child support. The 50 bucks a month I would get from him would not be worth the heart ache fo rme or my daughter. he is only out for himself!
That was not my question though either. I want a loop hole to get him to sign over his rights... if my folks were teh "father" that took over the rights would they then let him sign over his rights?

 

[nhawkjo]

I don't care about Child support. The 50 bucks a month I would get from him would not be worth the heart ache fo rme or my daughter. he is only out for himself!
That was not my question though either. I want a loop hole to get him to sign over his rights... if my folks were the "father that took over the rights" (by partial custody or whatever...) that took over the rights would the courts then let him sign over his rights? he doesnt care about her or me all he wants is his life back the way it was. I don't even know where he lives and he will not tell me. BUT if I threaten to take him to court to get child dupport he tells me he will make my life hell!!! I am not worried about myself, I care abotu my daughter!

 

[nhawkjo]

I don't care about Child support. The 50 bucks a month I would get from him would not be worth the heart ache fo rme or my daughter. he is only out for himself!
That was not my question though either. I want a loop hole to get him to sign over his rights... if my folks were the "father that took over the rights" (by partial custody or whatever...) that took over the rights would the courts then let him sign over his rights? he doesnt care about her or me all he wants is his life back the way it was. I don't even know where he lives and he will not tell me. BUT if I threaten to take him to court to get child support he tells me he will make my life hell!!! I am not worried about me, I care about how it will affect my daughter!

 

[Chelle0511]

~One reply is sufficient! Time to be blunt I suppose. You created a child with this man and now you will have to deal with that for the next 18 years. I'm hoping that you are mature enough to know what makes a baby, you did it...ADAPT NOW, for the benefit of yourself and your child! Him signing over rights to your parents is not an option. That baby needs a father! If you don't want the support don't petition for it, still doesn't matter.. this baby has a daddy and you don't like him, tough $hit!

 

[nhawkjo]

First of all, the three replies was an accident, I pushed stop on the screen but it posted anyways, if you read them all they were all a ted bit different.
Second, you obviously don't know this man! You have no right to speak to me like that and you should not be giving advice to people! He has no rights because he has decided to have nothing to do with her! HE was the one who "decided" to have nothing to do with her. He only "wants" rights to spite me. My parents would be a million times better "parents" to her than he could ever be! You obviously have no idea what is it do ANYTHING possible to protect your child!
There is no need to swear, and no, not tough ****! I have made my bed yes! I admit I was wrong and selfish, but NO my daughter does not deserve to have a half wit for a father. One day I will marry a man that is deserving of fatherhood... her biological father is NOT. Just because he impregnated me does not give him instant father material. I refuse to alow it. I will do anything in my power to get rid of him forever.
And YOU should be ashamed of yourself! I asked for advice. I did not ask ANYONE to tell me that a man that abandoned me and my daughter should have rights to screw up her life too! He can screw up his own life but I will not allow him to do it to her!

 

[stealth2]

However, you are completely off base, dear. He IS the child's father and he DOES have certain rights. No, you will not be allowed to have him sign off his parental rights to your parents - unless you would like your parents to adopt the child themselves - making both of you legal strangers. Not something I would suggest.

You did choose this man to father your child, and now you are stuck with him. The law will not allow you to write him off, and you no longer get to make the choice of whether you'll allow him to be a father or not. So you may as well get used to that reality.

 

[stealth2]

I suppose it would be worth adding that, should he decide to exert his rights (and he does not have to wait for you to file for support to do so), you will be sending your child to him for overnights. So that's another thing you may want to start wrapping your brain around.

 

[kat1963]

If all you wanted was a sperm donor why didn’t you use a certified sperm bank instead then? For $150 bucks & a .99 cent turkey baster you could have saved yourself & your potential child a lot of problems. But no, you decided to save a few bucks & procreate with a loser. Now you have a child who is biological half of a loser (good choice!) & for all you know contains the same psychological makeup that makes him the loser (that you claim). Didn’t think of genetics when you were spreading your legs did you? What do you think this says about YOU?
Therefore unless he has been proven to be the biological father then he doesn’t have any rights to terminate now does he? If he has no rights then he has no obligation to pay you child support. Once determined to be the biological father he can file to have the EXACT SAME rights to CUSTODY/VISITATION/SUPPORT as you do. CUSTODY is never guaranteed.
These are the consequences of your actions, spend the money to hire a good lawyer & deal with it.
KAT

 

[nhawkjo]

He would never want her at his house let alone in the same state!

HE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT HER!

How many times do I have to say it?

 

[Chelle0511]

First of all, the three replies was an accident, I pushed stop on the screen but it posted anyways, if you read them all they were all a ted bit different.
Second, you obviously don't know this man! You have no right to speak to me like that and you should not be giving advice to people! He has no rights because he has decided to have nothing to do with her! HE was the one who "decided" to have nothing to do with her. He only "wants" rights to spite me. My parents would be a million times better "parents" to her than he could ever be! You obviously have no idea what is it do ANYTHING possible to protect your child!
There is no need to swear, and no, not tough ****! I have made my bed yes! I admit I was wrong and selfish, but NO my daughter does not deserve to have a half wit for a father. One day I will marry a man that is deserving of fatherhood... her biological father is NOT. Just because he impregnated me does not give him instant father material. I refuse to alow it. I will do anything in my power to get rid of him forever.
And YOU should be ashamed of yourself! I asked for advice. I did not ask ANYONE to tell me that a man that abandoned me and my daughter should have rights to screw up her life too! He can screw up his own life but I will not allow him to do it to her!

~Sorry it's the law, good luck convincing a judge otherwise

 

[stealth2]

He would never want her at his house let alone in the same state!

HE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT HER!

How many times do I have to say it?

This does not change the reality of your situation, however. You cannot write him out of her life unless you have someone (a spouse) to adopt her.

 

[nhawkjo]

This is a joke! Are there any real lawyers out there?
I came on this site to get real advice, not sarcastic judgment's from bitter little people who cannot give sincere or appropriate legal advice to a sincere single mom. I did not ask for someone to judge my life. I have a well balanced home with plenty of support from my family, church and friends. I have made mistakes in my life, and I can admit it! You don't know my situation. I did not "just spread my legs" to anyone. We were to get married...he is a liar and a deceiver! I am a christian, I stumbled and now I have picked myself up, with God's help. I ALONE (you know, by MYSLEF... NO FATHER to be accounted for) am supporting my daughter. With the graciousness of my parents, I am able to give her a healthy and supportive environment to grow and nourish in. I was lonely and desperate. He was the 'perfect" man. Well, now he has nothing to do with her or myself and our legal system gives him rights anyways? He can just walk into her life whenever his little heart desires? That is CRAP! Sounds like we need to get a few laws changed. In the mean time, I will do my best to protect my baby and grant his wish to release him of any obligation to his daughter! Yes...HIS wish! I gave him EVERY opportunity in the beginning to sign the bc. He CHOSE not to. There SHOULD be laws regulating when and IF a "father" can "decide" to be a father. I support this child every day of her life and he goes about his sad little life and decides one day...oh, I think I will be a part of my kids life today... That should not be legal. There should be laws protecting the children and not always the "biological parent". Just because he can germinate a cell does not automatically create a "parent". Oh, and one more thing...My child is not a 1/2 loser and for you to say that just makes you look very sad! She is a child of God, and she will be a wonderful leader one day! Even if I were raped, she would still not be a 1/2 loser, every child deserves a chance at a full and wonderful life. THAT is what I want AND am providing for my daughter!

 

[gayle246]

I just want to say, thanks for your reply. I was reading your message and the replies and I was appauled at what people were saying to you. I wish you the best of luck and go for it, he is a loser and you or your daughter shouldn't have to pay for that for the rest of your life. I myself married one, and nine years after we separated and divorced (no child support) he has decided to take one daughter and put her in someone elses home, doesn't want her, but doesn't want me to have her either. The courts aren't fair, and I really don't think they are looking out for our children, it is very sad.