Wisconsin child/grandfather visitation

[yahoo12]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wisconsin.
Is there an age that a child can decide if she wants to visit a granparent? Previously had a order of every other Sunday, out of state for 5 years, now grandfather wants to continue visits. Son does not want anything to do with him per previous problems. Is there a state age where the child has the choice to visit? Thank you!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wisconsin.
Is there an age that a child can decide if she wants to visit a granparent? Previously had a order of every other Sunday, out of state for 5 years, now grandfather wants to continue visits. Son does not want anything to do with him per previous problems. Is there a state age where the child has the choice to visit? Thank you!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Can you please expand on the situation instead of being quite so brief?

Judges do tend to give very great weight to children's wishes when it comes to grandparents or other third party visitation, however without a clear understanding of what has gone on here, its difficult to advise you.

 

[yahoo12]

Child is 11 years old and wants nothing to do with the grandfather. There are so many issues where do I begin? Mainly, the inconsistency of following the visitation-he would take me to court and then not show up for visitation most of the time. Years of this went on until son was asked to talk to a guardiam ad litem at age 5. The judge took most of the visitation away at that time. We then moved out of state for 5 years and are now back. Getting threatening letters stating he is rethinking of going back to court to start another contempt order. Son is devistated and allegations from my son have included grandfather hitting him, leaving in the car while the man is at the bar and taking my child out of city to unknown places and not letting him come home when he wanted. It had been slightly horrific for him and I. I'm wanting to know if there is an age when my child can make his own decisions and not be forced to go somewhere with this man.
Thank you.

 

[LdiJ]

Child is 11 years old and wants nothing to do with the grandfather. There are so many issues where do I begin? Mainly, the inconsistency of following the visitation-he would take me to court and then not show up for visitation most of the time. Years of this went on until son was asked to talk to a guardiam ad litem at age 5. The judge took most of the visitation away at that time. We then moved out of state for 5 years and are now back. Getting threatening letters stating he is rethinking of going back to court to start another contempt order. Son is devistated and allegations from my son have included grandfather hitting him, leaving in the car while the man is at the bar and taking my child out of city to unknown places and not letting him come home when he wanted. It had been slightly horrific for him and I. I'm wanting to know if there is an age when my child can make his own decisions and not be forced to go somewhere with this man.
Thank you.

So,you are stating that grandpa has had no contact with the child for 5 years? What is the official court order at this time? Is that the every other Sunday that you mentioned? Has grandpa attempted to visit with the child in the last 5 years?

The details honestly matter.

 

[yahoo12]

Sorry..thanks for asking...

He has not tried to visit. Stated once he would be there on a certain date when we first moved and never showed up. Left me a message last year and stated he wanted nothing to do with us (me or my son) and never called for a year. Now, threatening to take me to court. The stipulation order is probably valid, I'm actually not sure as I can't find it. The order was to take him for 1 hour everyother Saturday to only certain places,,ie mall, church (this stipulation was started about 5 years ago). When the move happened I did let the courts know that we were going to move for job opportunity. He was not happy but couldn't do anything about it.

 

[LdiJ]

Sorry..thanks for asking...

He has not tried to visit. Stated once he would be there on a certain date when we first moved and never showed up. Left me a message last year and stated he wanted nothing to do with us (me or my son) and never called for a year. Now, threatening to take me to court. The stipulation order is probably valid, I'm actually not sure as I can't find it. The order was to take him for 1 hour everyother Saturday to only certain places,,ie mall, church (this stipulation was started about 5 years ago). When the move happened I did let the courts know that we were going to move for job opportunity. He was not happy but couldn't do anything about it.

Ok...so grandpa has a court order/stipulation that he gets a 1 hour visit every other weekend...you moved and grandpa has not attempted to exercise any visitation for 5 years.

On top of that, your child absolutely does not want to have visitation with grandpa and is at an age where a judge has to listen to his wishes.

You basically have two options at this point. You can either be proactive and file a motion to vacate grandpa's visitation based on the fact that he has not exercised it in 5 years and your child doesn't want it, or you can tell grandpa to pound sand and let him take you back to court, and then file a motion at that time to vacate the visitation...assuming that he actually takes you to court.

The technically proper thing to do is to file the motion to vacate visitation because you are technically under court orders and technically in contempt if you do not honor the orders.

However, if grandpa were to consult an attorney, and the attorney was honest with grandpa, if you do nothing its highly unlikely that grandpa will file anything....because grandpa doesn't have a hope in heck of prevailing.

Now, before other posters jump in here with the whole "children don't get to decide"...I will remind them that this is a third party case and does not follow the rules of a parent vs parent case. If the parent(s) is opposed to visitation AND the children as well are opposed to visitation, the grandparent doesn't have a hope in heck of prevailing. Grandparents do not have inherent rights where their grandchildren are concerned, and the purpose of grandparent visitation is to preserve relationships between children and grandparents when the children will be harmed if those relationships are severed.

 

[Isis1]

Now, before other posters jump in here with the whole "children don't get to decide"...I will remind them that this is a third party case and does not follow the rules of a parent vs parent case. If the parent(s) is opposed to visitation AND the children as well are opposed to visitation, the grandparent doesn't have a hope in heck of prevailing. Grandparents do not have inherent rights where their grandchildren are concerned, and the purpose of grandparent visitation is to preserve relationships between children and grandparents when the children will be harmed if those relationships are severed.

i definitely agree with the rest of your post. and i doubly agree with this portion.

 

[Humusluvr]

Ok...so grandpa has a court order/stipulation that he gets a 1 hour visit every other weekend...you moved and grandpa has not attempted to exercise any visitation for 5 years.

On top of that, your child absolutely does not want to have visitation with grandpa and is at an age where a judge has to listen to his wishes.

You basically have two options at this point. You can either be proactive and file a motion to vacate grandpa's visitation based on the fact that he has not exercised it in 5 years and your child doesn't want it, or you can tell grandpa to pound sand and let him take you back to court, and then file a motion at that time to vacate the visitation...assuming that he actually takes you to court.

The technically proper thing to do is to file the motion to vacate visitation because you are technically under court orders and technically in contempt if you do not honor the orders.

However, if grandpa were to consult an attorney, and the attorney was honest with grandpa, if you do nothing its highly unlikely that grandpa will file anything....because grandpa doesn't have a hope in heck of prevailing.

Now, before other posters jump in here with the whole "children don't get to decide"...I will remind them that this is a third party case and does not follow the rules of a parent vs parent case. If the parent(s) is opposed to visitation AND the children as well are opposed to visitation, the grandparent doesn't have a hope in heck of prevailing. Grandparents do not have inherent rights where their grandchildren are concerned, and the purpose of grandparent visitation is to preserve relationships between children and grandparents when the children will be harmed if those relationships are severed.

I agree that it seems like grandpa lost his opportunity when he went missing for so long.. If there were one person I would trust regarding grandparent's rights - it would definitely be YOU!

 

[yahoo12]

Thank you everyone for your help.

If there is one thing I know is that he WILL take me back to court and make it look good. He will tell them I left and there was nothing he could do about it. One thing is for certain: this up and down behavior has lasted too long and it is time that someone listen to the child! (even tho he did get to talk to a guardiam ad litem prior).
If anything, this relationship is so toxic that I'llneed to have him in therapy.

Thnak you all again for the great advice!

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you everyone for your help.

If there is one thing I know is that he WILL take me back to court and make it look good. He will tell them I left and there was nothing he could do about it. One thing is for certain: this up and down behavior has lasted too long and it is time that someone listen to the child! (even tho he did get to talk to a guardiam ad litem prior).
If anything, this relationship is so toxic that I'llneed to have him in therapy.

Thnak you all again for the great advice!

Ask that the judge interview your child in chambers. Your child's voice does deserve to be heard.