With married soldier after his wife cheated

[poysenivye]

With married soldier after his wife cheated first

What is the name of your state?TX - I met my soldier at an Annual Training that happened a year ago. We were just friends because I knew his marital status and the fact that he had 4 kids (one with the uncertainty of whom the actual father was.) A couple days after we met, he talked to his wife who confessed to him that she had cheated on him with 2 men while he was at Basic and AIT. My soldier told her that they were over and moved out of the house and into his parents house. A little bit after that we started seeing each other. He was kind of sluggish to start the divorce because he wanted to let the initial sting of the end of their relationship end. But finally the 60 day waiting period is up and the only thing left to do was sign the divorce decree. I am now 6 months pregnant and we told her because the children began to notice, everything was fine until the ex spouse to be's mother came into the picture. She has taken her daughter to JAG and explained to them that I am pregnant, and they are still married. Both of us are military, and I was just promoted to Sergeant. She hopes that I will be severely punished and that he will be punished too. Now the divorce has come to a stand still. And we are unaware of what we can do to make it so we do not get in trouble for our actions when their relationship was over and she was the one keeping the divorce from happening. She knew about our relationship and said that it was fine and told her kids that they needed to start respecting the new "step mom" in their life. We tried to explain to her the major ramifications of "telling" on us, but she thinks that any punishment we are dealt would be from our bad mistake, hence making her get less child support and medical benefits. She has yet to get a job, and he is still supporting her for the sake of his children, and it has been a year now...what should we do?

 

[runnin4freedom]

just an idea

just an idea from an awol soldier, ah hell i'll take a quote from a rap song "if you kill your babys momma i'll show ya where tha ocean is"

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

What is the name of your state?TX - I met my soldier at an Annual Training that happened a year ago. We were just friends because I knew his marital status and the fact that he had 4 kids (one with the uncertainty of whom the actual father was.) A couple days after we met, he talked to his wife who confessed to him that she had cheated on him with 2 men while he was at Basic and AIT. My soldier told her that they were over and moved out of the house and into his parents house. A little bit after that we started seeing each other. He was kind of sluggish to start the divorce because he wanted to let the initial sting of the end of their relationship end. But finally the 60 day waiting period is up and the only thing left to do was sign the divorce decree. I am now 6 months pregnant and we told her because the children began to notice, everything was fine until the ex spouse to be's mother came into the picture. She has taken her daughter to JAG and explained to them that I am pregnant, and they are still married. Both of us are military, and I was just promoted to Sergeant. She hopes that I will be severely punished and that he will be punished too. Now the divorce has come to a stand still. And we are unaware of what we can do to make it so we do not get in trouble for our actions when their relationship was over and she was the one keeping the divorce from happening. She knew about our relationship and said that it was fine and told her kids that they needed to start respecting the new "step mom" in their life. We tried to explain to her the major ramifications of "telling" on us, but she thinks that any punishment we are dealt would be from our bad mistake, hence making her get less child support and medical benefits. She has yet to get a job, and he is still supporting her for the sake of his children, and it has been a year now...what should we do?

I suggest you put yourself in her shoes. She has four children from this man. What happens in their relationship is none of your business. He is the father of four children!!!!!!!!!

You are the other woman who got pregnant.

Why did you get pregnant?

Guess what? Have a happy life with the jerk. He will be paying support for for children, and possibly alimony and a part of his pension.

Where .....OH WHERE...does that leave you?

 

[chrisdizz22]

i take it that you are either reserve or national guard, because you said you met at AT... if you are then i dont think that she has a leg to stand on, because you are only covered by the ucmj while you are on duty....

 

[fozzy2]

You've fulfilled at least one element of the crime of adultery as per the UCMJ -- you've had intercourse with a person who you knew was married. All that "relationship, yadda, yadda, yadda" is pretty much legally irrelevant. Untilt he date of the divorce as set by the court, a person is married (even if separated, etc.).

However, there is a second thing that must happen: It must be shown that what you did was 'detrimental to discipline and order' or that it 'brought disrespect upon the military.' This is where the decision usually lies as to whether or not handle you under the UCMJ and how harshly. If the servicemember's wife was a civilian, people in your units were not somehow involved, etc. then it is much less likely you will get in serious trouble.
In all honesty, a lot usually depends on how the servicemembers involved are viewed by their commands. If you've got good records and haven't PO'd your chain of command recently they'll likely decide it wasn't that big a deal. On the other hand, if they are looking for an excuse to burn you...

Just make certain you don't do anything to upset your seniors. You can also talk to the appropriate person ( perhaps an SFC or even JO) in your chain of command and explain to them that it was no problem until the in-law went on a vendetta. Their "informal" recommendation may carry a lot of weight in any investigation. The circumstances (i.e. 'separated' guy, etc.) don't necessarily give you legal extenuation, but they can help convince the military that your acts were not so out of line with "wider social mores" that your actions are infamous/bring disrespect.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Here is something you all should have read before bed.
http://www.cs.amedd.army.mil/sja/txdivinfo2.htm
BTW there is also a waiting period, after the divorce is final before remarriage.