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withholding visitation?

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Can I legally withhold visitation from my ex-husband? We're not legally divorced or even seperated and no order of visitation has been made. He's been getting him every other weekend. The reason I want to withhold visitation is that he is not properly taking care of my son and he is now living in a 2 bedroom apartment with his girlfriend and her daughter. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks



Withholding visitation is not looked upon favorably by the courts. It sounds as though your EX is making an effort to maintain a relationship with his child. If you interfere with that, the judge may well view that as a reason to award <i>custody</i> to the father and <i>visitation</i> to you. They generally try to give custody to the parent who will work with the other parent, among other factors.

Also, keep in mind that until there is a custody order, he has as much right to custody of your son as you do. If you try to withhold visitation from him, he may well decide to "take custody."

If you have concerns about the way your husband is caring for your son when he has him, perhaps you can discuss it with him. If, on the other hand, you are simply burnt because he is living with his girlfriend now, you will have to deal with that on your own. I know it's tough, but it has nothing to do with your son, and likely has nothing to do with your husband's parenting.

Good Luck!

Grandma B

Total agreement here

You have no right to withhold visitation for the reasons stated. You need to get court orders and follow them to the letter. He has as much right to the children as you, and if he's savvy, he'll act on that right unless you take action now. Don't ever let your personal feelings get in the middle.


Senior Member
are you upset because he lives with his girlfriend? or are you upset because you feel that your son and her daughter are sharing a bedroom? how old are the kids? if they are 3 and 4, there really isn't that big of a deal just yet. as they get older - there could be a problem. now if they are 14 and 16 -okay - throw a fit. :)

and who is to say that your son isn't sleeping on a fold away couch, or a cot or a pallet in the living room floor. do you know the arrangements at his house?


What are valid reasons...Alcohol- well what if youre ex-boyfriend was in AA- but I don't know if he ever completed??? The fact that he Verbally and Mentally abused me?? How can I prove that- witnesses?? I mean last year when he used to still come over he would come in my house and spank me and I would yell at him and tell him to leave me alone and not to touch me and then once he even smacked me across the face and my mom saw and kicked him out of the house.... I haven't seen him since Christmas but before then he would call my mom and tell her he was coming to get him and then she would say he would have to call me and he would call me at work and he would want to take him for a weekend.. My son had never been away from home and I said no - then it started a big fight and my boss eventually got on the phone and he cussed her out. Then he still went to my house and told my mom I said it was ok and took him. I called the cops and they told me there is nothing I can do unless I have court ordered custody.. I hear differently from different PB Cty Sherriff's and Dept of Children and Family Lawyers- they say if he is a deadbeat father and pay no child support and yet you have filed for it then he has no rights- yet the cop that came was lazy... Who is right? If I file for Custody - I have to find him- and I don't know where he is - thru the Dept or Revenue I have filed for Custody over a year ago and the latest thing was "wow this is an interesting case... the sheriff will go to serve him and the cars would be there and then they will come back 10 min later and the cars would be gone- then they would go to his work and he was fired" Now I called them to give them the phone number where he is and they say I have to find him - I said isnt that your job and hung up... it is a never ending circle... I cannot afford a lawyer- I am 22 trying to finish school, take care of my son who is almost 2 and live. It is hard- and for Florida to be the best state to crack on Deadbeat Fathers I am not to happy with my service so far...If I do get child support does that give him as many rights as if I do not receive child support or is there even a difference? Should I just leave it as it is- but if I go away for school I may have the risk of being told I kidnapped right?? The lawyer I spoke with wants a retention fee of $1500 and when that runs out then I will get monthly billings- I cannot come up with that kind of money. Day care is ridiculous and doing it on my own is hard as anything- I couldn't do it without my mom but then again I would rather not see his father for the rest of my life. It is bad when the nurses in the hospital wanted me to see the Social Worker since they didn't like him one bit and then my Childrens and Families worker didn't either- can I get all these people to testify against him in court for full custody??? I dont know what to do or if this is even a valid judgement. Any help is appreciated.. I am in Palm Beach County-


I agree and disagree. First, you need to get custody established NOW. In Mass. my lawyer told me to stop letting ex take children becasue possession is 9/10 of the law. He could keep them and claim you abandoned him and all he ahs to do is go to court and state that, get emergency restraining order against you, there will be a court date and then you have to prove you did not abandon him. So why go through all that, when you can go yourself and get a custody hearing even if it is temporary at least you will protect yourself.
I agree with the above about your feelings with the new girlfriend, alcohol etc. the things that are legit you need to fight, but you need some counseling (not a bad thing) to vent and get over him, or you will lose your son in the end. Let ex burn his own bridges with him with no added help on your part. I hope this helps.

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