work place abuse

[bonnie5784]

Hello to anyone that will listen.

There are so many laws out there to protect people from sexual harrassment in the workplace but what about just plain harrassment?

I have worked for a verbally abusive lady for the last seven years and quite frankly I am tired of going home in tears. Its not just me, there are several of us who are degraded and belittled on a regular basis.

I work in a courthouse and my boss is the head of her department so I filed a written complaint to Administration. They just wanted to make sure it wasn't sexual.......its not sexual but it is still verbal abuse and mental cruelty.

Isn't there a law that would protect me? They have all these laws to protect people from sexual abuse - why not just abuse.

I have been taking her crap for seven years and I can't take it anylonger....please tell me my options......thanks...

 

[cbg]

Why is she treating you like this? There are more types of harassment than sexual, but just plain being nasty doesn't cut it, unfortunately. If she is being abusive to you because of your age, race, national origin, disability, gender, or religion, that's protected and you have some legal recourse. If she's nasty to everyone, that's what is wryly referred to as an "equal opportunity abuser" and, strangely enough, there is no protection there. It is not illegal to be a nasty person. To be legally protected, the nastiness has to be based on a protected characteristic.

The only other possibility I can think of is what's called a constructive discharge; i.e., you quit because the situation is so intolerable that any reasonable person would be forced to quit. However, the burden of proof is on you, and the fact that you've always taken the abuse before can in itself be proof that it was not intolerable. Constructive discharge is a VERY hard thing to prove.

I'm totally sympathetic to your situation because I've been there, and at a time when I didn't know as much employment law as I do now. But quite honestly, unless there're some factors you've left out, about the only option I see for you is to look for another job.

 

[bonnie5784]

She likes to intimidate people, it is if she is always out to get someone before they get her. I have analized her over and over again just to understand and all I keep coming back to is she is getting older, no family (or should I say - none that want to have anything to do with her anymore), even her friends don't like what she's become.

She spends her weekends and some evenings in the office but she did finally start taking her vacation. The more I thought about it, I actually felt sorry for her until this last final blow.

You see, it is not that she has to yell at you but she makes it a point to make you look like an idiot infront of fellow employees and clients.

I am going to turn to my union for help. Hopefully someone will help me and my fellow employees that have to put up with her abuse. Thanks for your advice.

 

[alax]

I think you're on the right track, trying to analyze her and trying to understand where the nastiness is rooted. and, you pointed out that she does this to everyone, and I imagine everyone is glad when it's not their turn. I suppose you could try the secret friend thing, and leave cards, and small gifts, and you try to always make a point of commenting on something nice about her each and every day. It's not as much fun to pick on someone when they don't mind being picked on. It may work, and it may fail, and sometimes, you've just got to do what's right for you and walk out the door, find some place you're appreciated. Good luck.

 

[cbg]

You may be able to find some help with the union contract. I hope so. I totally agree with you that it's not fair that there should be no legal recourse for this kind of nastiness, but from the other side of things, it would be extremely difficult to try to sort out what's a genuine personality conflict, what's from stress and/or overwork, and in some cases, although I'm not saying this is the case in your situation, when an employee is being a pain and the employer has had enough! (I've been there, too.) I wish you luck.

 

[goodiesandwich]

what about media attention?

You work at a governmental agency, right? They are 'supposed to' be paragons of virtue, etc., etc., but we know the reality. (I work for a regional educational agency ... perhaps the larger these agencies become, the more dysfunctional they become!)

If we as a nation, or state, or county, or WHATEVER are going to see some change re: laws regarding workplace bullying, we may need to do the groundwork ourselves. Some thoughts...

1 - Make sure you are as mentally healthy as you can become ... connect with a good counselor, get into a group thing, etc. Focus on being the best 'you' you can be. Then look at all the non-work components of your life ... spirituality, friendships, hobbies and interests, etc. - work hard to mentally exclude the repercussions from the bullying, and see only the facets of your life.
2 - Read up on what's going on re: workplace bullying. A FANTASTIC book is 'The Bully at Work' (see www.bullybusters.org) They have clear, step-by-step guidelines for handling workplace abuses.
3 - Identify some tangible action that this person could (hypothetically) do (or you do) to stop the hafrassment from continuing. Not just "be nice" but "refrain from saying ... " - some behavior that is observable, doable, etc. And then put together some 'package deal' where you "lay things on the line" - what is wrong (cite date and what happened in a simple, straight forward fashion), how it affects your job performance, and recommendations. Sure, fat chance the bully is gonna suddenly turn nice ... but at least you laid things out clearly (for yourself as well as others). Don't hold your breath for change ...
4 - Find groups, journalists, etc., who are interested in the topic and share your story with them. I've seen from first-hand experience the benefits of this!

Take care .... stay strong

 

[MyFAIRlady]

what if you happen to work for groups, journalists, media who are the problem? Then what?

 

[bonnie5784]

thanks for the info on the website. I have filed a grievance thru my union but i don't think much will be done. The way I am thinking, if I am going to actually do something about this, I will need a paper trail and that is what I am starting.

there has been some retaliation from my boss but nothing I can't handle and hell if she gets outa line again I guess I'lll just file another grievance thru the union...

thanks alot....and stayin strong,

bonnie