TotallyBurned
Junior Member
What is the name of your state?Texas
I will try to make this as short as possible. I am a gay man recently at the end of a 4 year relationship. Towards the end it turned physcial. He started too abuse me and due to the fact that I grew up with a violent alcoholic in the house, I didn;t have the energy to go thru it again much less fight back so at first I didn't. Then I finally had enough and I did fight back instead of just leaving. Things of course escalated. He called the police 4 or 5x only to tell them and the paramedics when they got there that I had threatened suicide which wasn't true so each time I would have to convince them i was ok or they were ready to ship me to a mental hospital. That is what he wanted. This happened every time he would give them the same story that we would get into a fight then I would threaten suicide. There were times that he would rip my clothes from my body choke me punch me in the face. I never filed a report or pressed charges because he is in this country illegally. I didn't want to get him into trouble. I know I sound like the typical abused person. We eventually had a "major" blow out and of course he called the police again. I explained again that I was not going to harm myself and that he was lying. I told them that I thought the best thing would be for me to just leave untill I calm down and then I would come back later for my stuff and he could have the apartment. The police agreed. This is how it had happened the times before I would leave and take a drive. Little did I know that he was filing a report each time stating that I was abusing him all the time when it was him that was abusing me. He even punched me in the face at a club and the bouncers had to pull him off me. I didn't find out about the reports until yesterday. but lets go back. I moved out. Then we started talking again and he wanted us to get back together but not live together for a while. He was always to jealous type so he would always make me promise him that I was being fatihful and I was. I have always been. So I told him of course and he told me that he would be to and he didnt want anyone else. Well I ended up at the right place at the right time and I found out that he had been cheating on me for a few months. I wasn't upset. I was 100% crazed with anger. Mainly because we had unprotected sex and I immediately thought the worst. Here comes another major argument. WHen I confronted it all he wanted to do was turn and run away from me. I beat on his door screaming at him for what he had done. I ended up breaking a window out by accident. I hit it just a little too hard but it wasnt intentional at all. I heard him on the phone calling the police so I thought I don't need all of this drama so I left.
Since then he has totally avoided me except for driving by where I am staying now as if he is checking up on me. I have left several notes for him and have tried to get in touch with him because I was so angry for what he had done to me, I just couldnt believe what was happening. It was something I never in a million years would have expected. Well after the last big fight and I broke the window he convinced the apt mgr to let him move to another apartment. He didnt want me knowing where he was because he was no dating the person he was screwing around on me with. I wasnt giving up easily and I had no intentions of letting him get away with screwing me over like that. Another reason i was so angry was because of all the things that I had done for him and this was my thank you. I had put him thru school. He didnt work at all while he was in school. I paid all of his bills during that time. I even let his Mother live with us rent free for almost 2 years. So yeah I was just a little pissed about what had happened and all I wanted was to talk to him and let him know that it was not ok what he had done but he wouldnt give me the chance.
I have not seen him in several weeks now. Had no contact at all. Well yesterday I get a visit from the constable serving me court papers. He has went in front of the judge and told nothing but lies. I read the complaint that he gave and not one single word is true. He is stating that I abused him the whole relationship and he is now in fear of his life. He said that I chased him several times with a knife and threatened to kill him. The stories were so outrageous it was almost laughable, But even in the complaint the story does not jive. I am surprised no one caught that. he said that on one incident I chased him thru the house with the knife then slapped him with the broom in the head. Then he called the police but doesnt it make sense that if that were true he would have told them that when they arrive and it would have been in the report. I think that is important point. He lists 3 different dates that I supposedly threatened his life with this knife and each time the police came and made a report because the letter has the report#. WHy didnt the judge or whoever question why he made no mention of this to the police? I know why. Because it is all bull and lies. I am at a loss on how to handle this. Of course I have to fight it because the accusations are not true and I can't let him get away with this. I was abused for four years and now he wants to act like it was him being abused. I can't let that happen. The hearing is next week and I plan on disputing this. How should I proceed? Do I need an attorney next week? Do I need to take witnesses of his abuse with me? I have been in therapy for the past couple of years do I need to take my therapist beccause she has seen me come to my appointment right after he had ripped a shirt and had been choking me. I ppurposely went to see her in that condition. I just need to know what I should do. There is no way I can allow him to do this to me. I see it as another form of abuse and him trying to control me. PLEASE HELP!
I will try to make this as short as possible. I am a gay man recently at the end of a 4 year relationship. Towards the end it turned physcial. He started too abuse me and due to the fact that I grew up with a violent alcoholic in the house, I didn;t have the energy to go thru it again much less fight back so at first I didn't. Then I finally had enough and I did fight back instead of just leaving. Things of course escalated. He called the police 4 or 5x only to tell them and the paramedics when they got there that I had threatened suicide which wasn't true so each time I would have to convince them i was ok or they were ready to ship me to a mental hospital. That is what he wanted. This happened every time he would give them the same story that we would get into a fight then I would threaten suicide. There were times that he would rip my clothes from my body choke me punch me in the face. I never filed a report or pressed charges because he is in this country illegally. I didn't want to get him into trouble. I know I sound like the typical abused person. We eventually had a "major" blow out and of course he called the police again. I explained again that I was not going to harm myself and that he was lying. I told them that I thought the best thing would be for me to just leave untill I calm down and then I would come back later for my stuff and he could have the apartment. The police agreed. This is how it had happened the times before I would leave and take a drive. Little did I know that he was filing a report each time stating that I was abusing him all the time when it was him that was abusing me. He even punched me in the face at a club and the bouncers had to pull him off me. I didn't find out about the reports until yesterday. but lets go back. I moved out. Then we started talking again and he wanted us to get back together but not live together for a while. He was always to jealous type so he would always make me promise him that I was being fatihful and I was. I have always been. So I told him of course and he told me that he would be to and he didnt want anyone else. Well I ended up at the right place at the right time and I found out that he had been cheating on me for a few months. I wasn't upset. I was 100% crazed with anger. Mainly because we had unprotected sex and I immediately thought the worst. Here comes another major argument. WHen I confronted it all he wanted to do was turn and run away from me. I beat on his door screaming at him for what he had done. I ended up breaking a window out by accident. I hit it just a little too hard but it wasnt intentional at all. I heard him on the phone calling the police so I thought I don't need all of this drama so I left.
Since then he has totally avoided me except for driving by where I am staying now as if he is checking up on me. I have left several notes for him and have tried to get in touch with him because I was so angry for what he had done to me, I just couldnt believe what was happening. It was something I never in a million years would have expected. Well after the last big fight and I broke the window he convinced the apt mgr to let him move to another apartment. He didnt want me knowing where he was because he was no dating the person he was screwing around on me with. I wasnt giving up easily and I had no intentions of letting him get away with screwing me over like that. Another reason i was so angry was because of all the things that I had done for him and this was my thank you. I had put him thru school. He didnt work at all while he was in school. I paid all of his bills during that time. I even let his Mother live with us rent free for almost 2 years. So yeah I was just a little pissed about what had happened and all I wanted was to talk to him and let him know that it was not ok what he had done but he wouldnt give me the chance.
I have not seen him in several weeks now. Had no contact at all. Well yesterday I get a visit from the constable serving me court papers. He has went in front of the judge and told nothing but lies. I read the complaint that he gave and not one single word is true. He is stating that I abused him the whole relationship and he is now in fear of his life. He said that I chased him several times with a knife and threatened to kill him. The stories were so outrageous it was almost laughable, But even in the complaint the story does not jive. I am surprised no one caught that. he said that on one incident I chased him thru the house with the knife then slapped him with the broom in the head. Then he called the police but doesnt it make sense that if that were true he would have told them that when they arrive and it would have been in the report. I think that is important point. He lists 3 different dates that I supposedly threatened his life with this knife and each time the police came and made a report because the letter has the report#. WHy didnt the judge or whoever question why he made no mention of this to the police? I know why. Because it is all bull and lies. I am at a loss on how to handle this. Of course I have to fight it because the accusations are not true and I can't let him get away with this. I was abused for four years and now he wants to act like it was him being abused. I can't let that happen. The hearing is next week and I plan on disputing this. How should I proceed? Do I need an attorney next week? Do I need to take witnesses of his abuse with me? I have been in therapy for the past couple of years do I need to take my therapist beccause she has seen me come to my appointment right after he had ripped a shirt and had been choking me. I ppurposely went to see her in that condition. I just need to know what I should do. There is no way I can allow him to do this to me. I see it as another form of abuse and him trying to control me. PLEASE HELP!
