X lost his job of 16 yrs

[formerlsa]

What is the name of your state? MA
Hello all. I realize you guys are not fortune tellers but I'm wondering your opinions please. My X was ordered to pay 321 a week, it has been wage assigned, he paid for a year. Well, now he is pulled out of service at work, no income, and after arbitration he will be fired. They found an illegal substance in his system when he was random tested. He has severe depression and pstd. He went to a shrink and she said he should be permanetly disabled. He says they cannot take CS out of this. He says he will try to pay me a little each week, but the days of 321 are over. He just started working for a measly 10$ an hour under the table. He is going to court to try to modify the support order, as we all know, it will keep adding up. I had a lawyer he didn't, I do get 50% of his pension plan but I think that is at retirement. What about my kids? They are only 8 and 13.

What do you think the judge will do considering these circumstances? He made this choice. He has blamed me for everything, saying the pressure of paying CS, and his job, which is very stressful, is the cause of his substance abuse. He never paid into SS it is RRR. (railroad) Am I entitled to any support from his pension? Can he just walk away from support? Does anyone know of any other resources I may have? He has wanted me to sell my home all along and live in an apartment with the kids(like he does).A year ago I refi in my own name and paid him some equity. No one wants to move, my broker said it would be stupid to sell, just for my mortgage to be lowered 500$. My mortgage is $2000 a month.I live in an affluent area and would have to move further west . I am a bartender on the weekends, the kids need me during the week, my pay is well, but not enough to support this home. Do I have to go to welfare or something? I have been racking my brain for solutions. My kids are on the discount lunch program and i applied for electric assistance. I am so afraid I will lose my home. My home is not ready to sell as it is half painted, and a few other minor problems. Does Anyone know of any resources I may have? Thank you formerlsa

 

[stealth2]

As you know, it's impossible to say what a judge will rule. However, if he's not making the same money and can't pay, the arrears will rack up. But that doesn't help you a great deal. You really should start looking at your options, both regarding housing and employment because you may find yourself w/o support coming in. Sorry to be bleak, but I find it's often best to prepare for the worst while hoping for the best.

 

[nextwife]

I love my house, but if heaven forbid, my husband were disabled and couldn't work, I wouldn't hesitate to downsize to a smaller more affordable place. Personally. I've always tried to buy far less than we qualified for so that it could be handled on only one income in case something happened to the other party and they couldn't work.

Are there homes in your area that are smaller, so you could stay nearby?

IF he qualifies for SS disabilty, your kids would be entitled to a monthly benefit as well, if you apply.

 

[Kevmar44]

Yeah, but this isn't her husband, it's her ex husband and his substance abuse and disability are not her fault, no matter how much he claims it is! Why should she lose the one home her kids have known (I know sometimes this has to happen, but...) just because her ex turned to drugs for his problems instead of some other way.

He can't just walk away from CS. Until the courts approve a lower amount (if they do) he is required to pay the $321 and what he doesn't pay now will be waiting for him to pay whenever. In Ohio they take tax refunds or he could wind up paying CS for years after the kids turn 18 (or what ever the age is in MA for CS to end).

 

[stealth2]

He can't just walk away from CS. Until the courts approve a lower amount (if they do) he is required to pay the $321 and what he doesn't pay now will be waiting for him to pay whenever. In Ohio they take tax refunds or he could wind up paying CS for years after the kids turn 18 (or what ever the age is in MA for CS to end).

And the bank holding the mortgage isn't going to give a damn WHY she's not able to make the payments. She needs to look at (a) how she can earn more money and/or (b) for more reasonable accomodations.

 

[haiku]

umm...you can't get blood from a stone. owed or not, if the guy cannot or won't pay, contempt judgements don't get the bills paid. he might die tommorow too. What then?

Metro west, Boston ma. area, is not cheap, I would not depend on a drugaddled ex's child support to keep me there. In fact, I would be exploring cheaper areas to live up in NH or farther out in ma. and ct/ri. I know mortagages are NOT 2000 dollars there......

 

[formerlsa]

thank you everyone

I guess I just have to take 1 step at a time. I will look for a fulltime job, plus keep my bartending. I will try to rent my rooms, I already have 1 renter, a friend of the family, her Mom may move in. If I can do this it may work out. If not, I guess I will have to move, although this will be extremely hard for all of us. I'm so angry at the childrens father!!!! This is what he has wanted all along!!I guess I may even have to finish painting my hom, although I am afraid of heights, but my Mom used to paint her home way back when. I have no family left, so no help at all, I wish I had some support that would be wonderful.

A few questions. If I know he is working under the table do I tell the judge? Do I show proof of his drug habits, I have letters from labs saying positive for cocaine. Also, since he has worked for the railroad, can I collect something for the kids from that? His pension, or if he becomes disabled through the railroad? I just can't beleive that after 15 years, I am going to be the single supporter of our children. Thanks formerlsa

 

[Gracie3787]

Although the court may consider his decrease in income to be voluntary (obviously drug use is voluntary), it may not mean anything in the long run, and the on-going support will probably go down.

Also, since he didn't pay anything into SS, IF he is found to be disabled he will recieve SSI (as opposed to SSDI). Right now the max monthly is $564.00 and from what I understand, SSI cannot be garnished for CS.(I'm not real sure if this is true), however, even if it can be, the amount of CS will be ALOT less.

I have to agree with the other posters, as hard as it is, you may have to make some big changes. Nobody wants to lose their home, possesions, ect. but this may help you:
I recently learned that a specific home, and possesions are just "things" that can be replaced, but life and health of loved ones are all that really matters.
I live in Florida, and Hurricane Jeanne destroyed my home and most of my possesions. I thought that I would be devastated emotionlly, but even as I sort through my soggy belongings I am just so happy that we all made it through 3 terrifying hurricanes that it doesn't matter that I lost alot of "mementos, ect".

I hope you don't lose your home, but if you do, I hope my story helps you.
Good luck.