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Youngest child nearing 18 and mother has let him fail high school

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stealth2

Under the Radar Member
What did you do to help your son succeed? What was your parenting time order like? Did you file for a change in custody based on his poor performance?
 
I thought that is exactly what this thread was going to be about - how to change custody to get his son the education he needs. Instead, it was about money.
I would pay for his schooling and tutoring directly to a facility as opposed to paying her while he takes a self paced approach to school. I filed for change of custody as he went into high school as he and his older brother were both under performing. I even had the support of her family, the judge decided to keep them where they were for fear of disrupting their lives.
 
What did you do to help your son succeed? What was your parenting time order like? Did you file for a change in custody based on his poor performance?
I had every other weekend and Thursdays. It's no fun to pick them up and have a half dozen past due assignments to work on plus the Thursday night work as well, which usually included a vocab test for one or both kids. Grounding them from activities at my house based on her report from the previous week of work. Failing grades meant no video games, no four wheelers, no what ever, doing school work during our visit time was the norm. I was definitely the more strict parent.
 

FlyingRon

Senior Member
Your child support obligation before the child is not dependent on how the child is doing in school.
Your child support obligation beyond that depends on the support order.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I had every other weekend and Thursdays. It's no fun to pick them up and have a half dozen past due assignments to work on plus the Thursday night work as well, which usually included a vocab test for one or both kids. Grounding them from activities at my house based on her report from the previous week of work. Failing grades meant no video games, no four wheelers, no what ever, doing school work during our visit time was the norm. I was definitely the more strict parent.
Then perhaps you need to put a decent amount of the blame on your son.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I had every other weekend and Thursdays. It's no fun to pick them up and have a half dozen past due assignments to work on plus the Thursday night work as well, which usually included a vocab test for one or both kids. Grounding them from activities at my house based on her report from the previous week of work. Failing grades meant no video games, no four wheelers, no what ever, doing school work during our visit time was the norm. I was definitely the more strict parent.
Yeah, well..... Schoolwork and being the "bad guy" isn't a fun part of parenting for anyone. Being the NCP shouldn't absolve anyone from that part of parenting.

So what did you do when it became clear that the consequences weren't working? It's easy to put the blame on the CP...
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
I'm curious how you come to the conclusion that the CP "let" him fail. Was it not your son's responsibility to do the work? To go to class? To pay attention to the teachers? At what point does it stop being the responsibility of the parent to push the child and start being the child's responsibility to actually perform?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I'm curious how you come to the conclusion that the CP "let" him fail. Was it not your son's responsibility to do the work? To go to class? To pay attention to the teachers? At what point does it stop being the responsibility of the parent to push the child and start being the child's responsibility to actually perform?
Exactly. And the child has two parents here, albeit divorced. To be exercising eow and one day a week, OP must be near enough to be involved. It's easy to point fingers, but if OP wants to do that, the blame must be shared. Both parents failed this child, especially as it sounds like an issue that was in play for quite a while. If OP has been paying support for 9 years, this is a problem that has been years in the making. If one method doesn't work, another should be tried. Not all kids have the same aptitudes or interests, nor is every child destined to become an Einstein.

At the end of the day, everything about support will depend on what the order states about when CS ends. More likely than not, it is 18 OR when the child graduates or 19, whichever is first. If he's actively enrolled in an online school, the court will likely accept that for purposes of continuing support until 19. You're not going to get out of it because the other parent "failed", in your opinion.
 

t74

Member
It would be faster - and easier - for the child to obtain a GED since a GED does not require completion of a certain number of courses and just demonstrate knowledge,.

Depending on the state, not all online schools are acceptable alternatives to actual enrollment is a program requiring attendance, Look at this reference: https://txvsn.org/OLS-Campuses Acceptable alternatives in a state can be free or have a modest tuition; others are often quite expensive.
 

t74

Member
It is definitely about the money but is mom that is the greedy one. The question is whether it is cost effective for OP to go back to court and exactly what to request. Unfortunately the program named looks very suspiciously like a money sink with no end.
 

t74

Member
It is in the best interest of the child to be employable. The online program requires 21.5 credits for a degree; the State of Texas requires even more. An almost 18 yo should have about 15 credits to complete HS in a reasonable period of time if not disabled which he ap[parently is not.

A GED is the fasted way to that given the child is apparently not a "student". By claiming the child is a "student". mom continues to get CS.
 

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