Taking and threating to release nude pictures without consent

[AKChau]

I'm not sure where to ask this question. My boyfriend dated for about 9-10 months (we broke up about 3 weeks ago). He lives in Denver, CO and I live in Omaha, NE. I found out he was married and his husband reached out to me telling me his side of the story. Somehow my ex was able to keep us from knowing each other for so long. Situations were uncovered: lies, cheating, etc., my ex denied the actions. I told him that I have pictures (that he took) of him getting a blow job while we were dating. When I brought them up, he told me to stop contacting him. He then texted me and said he has naked pictures of me. He took these picture w/o my consent (and sounds like threats of releasing them if I contact him again). Is taking nude pics without consent legal? What can happen if he releases them without my permission? He could release the pics even if I don't try to contact him. What are best next actions?

 

[adjusterjack]

When he told you to stop contacting him, did you stop contacting him.

Common sense dictates that if you leave him alone he'll leave you alone.

 

[AKChau]

Since he sent me a nude picture of myself (without my consent) and said, "I have nude pics too. Please stop contacting me." I have not responded.

I understand the logic behind what you mentioned. But is taking nude pictures without consent legal? What happens if he releases them regardless?

 

[Taxing Matters]

You told him you had pics of him getting a blow job. He responded that he has naked pics of you. It sounds to me that he took your statement of having pics of him much like you're now taking his statement of pics of you. That strikes me that he's warning you if that if you make those pics public then he'll make the pics he has of you public. In other words, it's his way of trying to stop you from disclosing those pics. It probably would have been much better had you not mentioned having those pictures in the first place. Now you are both in a stand off: if one distributes the pics he has, the other will respond doing the same thing. So, IMO, probably the best thing to do is just drop the matter altogether and never mention it to him again. You don't want to goad him into releasing those photos.

 

[Taxing Matters]

I understand the logic behind what you mentioned. But is taking nude pictures without consent legal? What happens if he releases them regardless?

Assuming you are an adult, simply taking the photos is not a crime. It's what he does with them that matters. If he releases them, you'd likely have at least a civil claim against him for a privacy related tort. A tort is a civil claim other than a contract claim or a statutory claim (i.e. a claim provided for in federal or state statutes).

 

[AKChau]

You told him you had pics of him getting a blow job. He responded that he has naked pics of you. It sounds to me that he took your statement of having pics of him much like you're now taking his statement of pics of you. That strikes me that he's warning you if that if you make those pics public then he'll make the pics he has of you public. In other words, it's his way of trying to stop you from disclosing those pics. It probably would have been much better had you not mentioned having those pictures in the first place. Now you are both in a stand off: if one distributes the pics he has, the other will respond doing the same thing. So, IMO, probably the best thing to do is just drop the matter altogether and never mention it to him again. You don't want to goad him into releasing those photos.

I see what you are saying. There was a little conversation between me saying I have proof (that someone sent me these pics) and him saying he has naked pics of me. Me telling him I have proof of course wasn't a threat for me to release the pics; it was to prove that he was lying about being sexually active with other guys while we were together. Unfortunately, he's smart in is probably already a few steps ahead of me - is the best advice really to just leave him alone and hope he doesn't spread around my photos?

 

[LdiJ]

I see what you are saying. There was a little conversation between me saying I have proof (that someone sent me these pics) and him saying he has naked pics of me. Me telling him I have proof of course wasn't a threat for me to release the pics; it was to prove that he was lying about being sexually active with other guys while we were together. Unfortunately, he's smart in is probably already a few steps ahead of me - is the best advice really to just leave him alone and hope he doesn't spread around my photos?

Yes, that really is the best advice.

 

[AKChau]

Yes, that really is the best advice.

Thank you for your time.

 

[AKChau]

Assuming you are an adult, simply taking the photos is not a crime. It's what he does with them that matters. If he releases them, you'd likely have at least a civil claim against him for a privacy related tort. A tort is a civil claim other than a contract claim or a statutory claim (i.e. a claim provided for in federal or state statutes).

Sorry additional question, I've found replies to some threads saying that simply taking nude photos in private locations (which it was) is a crime (https://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/is-it-illegal-to-take-nude-photos-without-consent--3201209.html#qa-answer-count-header). So which is true?

 

[zddoodah]

Is taking nude pics without consent legal?

Of course not.

What can happen if he releases them without my permission?

I could probably think of dozens of things that could happen, but I don't really see the point.

What are best next actions?

Probably move on with your life and don't contact him. Why you felt the need to tell him that you had the blow job pictures is beyond me. That was a dumb thing to do. Get rid of those pictures.

What happens if he releases them regardless?

We have no conceivable way of knowing. Among other things, to whom/where might he release them? You can, of course, contact the police where he lives and tell them about the threat and that any pictures were taken without your consent. The police may or may not do anything, and he might deny it (i.e., say that he was lying to you).

 

[AKChau]

Of course not.




I could probably think of dozens of things that could happen, but I don't really see the point.




Probably move on with your life and don't contact him. Why you felt the need to tell him that you had the blow job pictures is beyond me. That was a dumb thing to do. Get rid of those pictures.




We have no conceivable way of knowing. Among other things, to whom/where might he release them? You can, of course, contact the police where he lives and tell them about the threat and that any pictures were taken without your consent. The police may or may not do anything, and he might deny it (i.e., say that he was lying to you).

Thanks for your time. When you said that it was a dumb thing to do when I said his husband sent me pictures of him getting a blow job from someone else was dumb, can you expand on that and why that was dumb? Why would I want to get ride of them? The point of telling his was because he was denying sleeping around while we were together.

 

[Zigner]

Why would I want to get ride of them?

The better question is why would you want to keep them?

 

[stealth2]

Thanks for your time. When you said that it was a dumb thing to do when I said his husband sent me pictures of him getting a blow job from someone else was dumb, can you expand on that and why that was dumb? Why would I want to get ride of them? The point of telling his was because he was denying sleeping around while we were together.

Dude - you were sleeping with him while he was married. Your hands are no cleaner than his.

 

[AKChau]

Dude - you were sleeping with him while he was married. Your hands are no cleaner than his.

I didn't know he was married? Did you even read my original post?