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Friendly visit from CPS

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Moe248

Junior Member
So I think the best thing to do

Is to allow them to come into the home, have it be as orderly as possible and pray against acts of god.... During dinner a dining room chair leg just broke off the chair and the BF ended up on the floor!!!! I laughed till I almost cried (he is like 180ish lbs, and the set is like 3yrs old and fairly nice) but now im thinking oh my god.... So happy that happened tonight and not while we were sitting here with CPS! (although as long as it wasn't the cps ladies chair I would hope she was laughing till she cried too!) So now in addition to cleaning im pounding nails into the cross braces of the chairs just to make sure that they are sured up (it was a cross brace that came unglued and caused the chair to be unstable, likely caused by someone who likes to tip in the chair....)... Sort of annoyed that I now have an odd number of chairs now. (yesterday a bird pooped right on his face, a tickling match with the little one landed a booger in his mouth, and the laughing fit it caused made her pee all over him!) All stories that I'm sure she will repeat.... Wonder how CPS will feel about "sooo I laughed so hard a booger shot out of my nose into dad's mouth then i peed on him" Geish... Pray for us! lol ;)
 


Ok I posted because dad is at work. He works 4 x 12's, he was off and the little one was here yesterday, thats when CPS called to ask to visit. I am posting because I am at home and the one who would need to scrub down corners, do laundry etc etc etc if changes needed to be made. I am also sitting at home worrying about this.

I was also DIRECTLY contacted and questioned by CPS yesterday. So that's why I'm posting. I am not posting about custody (I guess I know this is the custody forum but it just seemed like the best place for this sort of thing).

When the child was in MY care while mom and dad were both at work she would stay the night some nights, other nights mom would come get her between 9-11pm depending on how late she got out of work. While HE felt like 11 was too late for mom to pick her up she is not in school and could sleep in once she got here the next morning or catch up with a long nap, in the end given that he did not have an order for physical custody he was seeing her 6 days a week instead of 2-3 that he had previously been seeing her HE viewed our arrangement with me providing child care to be beneficial to all parties, she did too until she lost it one day (btw not that it matters but WE believed the break down was actually caused by the child not wanting to go home with her mom, and asking to come back to our house a situation that was intensifying leading up to the day when mom came to get her)

Paternity was established. I stopped providing care for her 04/31, he had no contact with the child from that date until the court date. The window incident happened on 04/07, CPS was contacted shortly after, they were seen in court about custody on 4/18, CPS showed up at her home on Easter (04/24 @8pm), they contacted him and I about the investigation yesterday and requested to come to our home for a visit tomorrow 5/11.

Paternity and support were established through a DS case when the child was 4 months old. They were married when the child was 1 month old, and living in separate homes when she filed for support and state aide in spring 2007. They are going through divorce proceedings, and legal custody will be decided at an evidence hearing at a later date.

If your next step is to tell me man he is an idiot why did he wait so long? why did he let it get out of control etc, YES you are right. No excuse is sufficient to me either. In the end the divorce proceedings, custody case etc are his problem. Because this CPS investigation is now including ME it is important to ME that my home passes their inspection. As MY name appearing in a bad CPS investigation could come back to haunt me years down the road for all i know.

To my knowledge there are no allegations of abuse in our home, lack of food, supervision etc. The case is open against mom not dad. (to my knowledge, and based on my directly asking the CPS worker "are we under investigation?" her response was "no you are not")

When I say "we" I mean my BF, myself, and his daughter I am speaking of our entire household when i use those words. Unless I say we in reference to the criminal activity, then WE applies to him and I as it is our home and the police complaint reflects damages to OUR home that were paid for with OUR money.

So yes, WE are not involved with a divorce case/custody case HE is. I agree. That is why I am only asking about the CPS end of things as that directly applies to US.

Im sorry if you feel this is all info overload just want to be sure i haven't left anything out.

There is no tone to written words but if there was mine would be friendly and informative :)

Oh again I'm not sure who made the complaint nor does it matter I believe the allegations against mom included;

-leaving the child alone the night of the destruction of property complaint
-dirty clothing/poopy panties (she has been in trouble with several day cares, she has also been pulled from 2 preschools in the last year, which is why she stopped going to day care and started coming here with me instead)
-working too many hours/not adequately providing love and affection as a result
-the presence of the felon in the home, the fact that the 3 of them routinely sleep in the same bed.
-the felon boyfriend is a known drug user and distributor (as evidenced by 6 drug convictions 3 he did time for) she also has a history of substance abuse and violence (had a felony assault charge in 2003, and an operating under the influence charge in 2005) I would guess that once they began to look into things these things came to light

The person I would guess made the complaint is one of his family members. She came here to help me board up the bay window the day after the incident, we talked at length, she was also aware of the felon long before this, as well as the day care/preschool issues.

CPS called Both HE and I the day after the event with the rock

So again, my home reasonably clean but don't need to scrub blinds/baseboards etc correct?

Food in the fridge/freezer/pantry should be sufficient? They are well stocked

Move beer from drawer to top shelf of fridge (no we don't have a ton of empties, the beer may be so old it is expired lol)

Clean litter box do some laundry, don't worry be polite and honest.

Any other advice?

Oh and thank you :)
Don't worry...as was said just relax. A CPS case was opened against my ex a little more than a month ago, and CPS had to come to my home and "investigate" the living environments for the baby in both homes. While they are always looking for something that could be a danger to a child, it was very "friendly" on my side. They asked to see the baby, talk to my older son (I was in the same room) and see the children's bedrooms to be sure they have adequate living arrangements. Other than that, they asked me about myself and my relationship with my ex. I met with the social worker every 2 weeks while the case was open against my ex, and each visit was very "friendly." The only thing that surprises me is that Dad can't find out more about the case against Mom. I was kept fully informed throughout the process...
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I know where the crystal ball is:D All you have to do is be nice to SJ and he might just let you play with it;)
SJ will let you play with his crystal balls? :eek:

Who checked to see that they were crystal?

(yes, my inner moppet still needs spanked. Warned you I was in a mood!)
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I had a visit with a LLEA officer not too long ago, that I initiated after being told by my ex that he had (well his now wife) had called CPS on me. I called CPS, trying to get information, was told that they didn't have a case open and with the information that he had shared that they reported, there wouldn't be an investigation (as he threatened... BRING IT, DUDE!!!!). Just to cover my behind, I invited the LLEA officer to come do a spot health and welfare check, so that there was something on the record as to the condition of the house, the food in the fridge, etc.

You'll be fine. Cooperate, but don't forget that you DO have a right to stop the interview in your own home, should you feel like its becoming and inquisition.


The Fourth Amendment (Amendment IV) to the United States Constitution is the part of the Bill of Rights which guards against unreasonable searches and seizures, along with requiring any warrant to be judicially sanctioned and supported by probable cause. It was adopted as a response to the abuse of the writ of assistance, which is a type of general search warrant, in the American Revolution. Search and arrest should be limited in scope according to specific information supplied to the issuing court, usually by a law enforcement officer, who has sworn by it.
OP, I agree with this. You need to realize that I don't know what CPS is like in your area. In my county, I have told people NOT to cooperate because this county's agenda. The next county over I have no problem with talking to them and working with them on cases involving my client. It depends on the county.

What I would tell you is that if you have cats, make sure the litter boxes are clean and the litter is NOT scattered. Make sure there are no accidents in the house. Be courteous and you don't have to volunteer any information. Having six beers in the fridge is not an issue. But don't get into "friendly conversations" regarding keggers in college or how you and boyfriend like to party or mention your big rave-like St. Patty's day. Some workers will try to get you talking about how alike you are and then use it against you. Keep the conversation centered on the child and the care of the child.
 

Isis1

Senior Member
Moe, you just had me laughing hysterically. My 9 year old is ADHD a d he tends to break chairs with his legs by swinging his feet trying to acomplish his sensory tendencies. So we keep him in an assigned chair. The minor's attorney (who came to visit) seemed to narrow in on that chair and tried to sit down. I jumped up to stop him all the while envisioning the poor guy landing on his rear. I still giggle from time to time over that.
 

Moe248

Junior Member
Kitties

So the kitty boxes are in the basement on the unfinished side, there isn't even a working light in the corner they are in. I do have a litter kicker and a competitive eater who sometimes well competitively eats herself into puking... The box is so far away from where food is stored, or even where people even go do you think it will be a problem? I mean i will make sure to sweep the area tomorrow. Again the unfinished side of the basement is long and skinny it houses the furnace and the washer dryer at the other end, the box is down by the furnace which is pretty far from the door.

Thanks for the advice. I don't know what the agenda in my county is, i woudl guess given the poverty level and violence level in this county (the police told me the night of the rock incident that they only come out for rapes and murders their words not mine) that they probably will be relieved to see a house/family as nice as mine. I live in a good neighborhood but overall the county has some serious issues.
 

KmanStuck

Member
So the kitty boxes are in the basement on the unfinished side, there isn't even a working light in the corner they are in. I do have a litter kicker and a competitive eater who sometimes well competitively eats herself into puking... The box is so far away from where food is stored, or even where people even go do you think it will be a problem? I mean i will make sure to sweep the area tomorrow. Again the unfinished side of the basement is long and skinny it houses the furnace and the washer dryer at the other end, the box is down by the furnace which is pretty far from the door.

Thanks for the advice. I don't know what the agenda in my county is, i woudl guess given the poverty level and violence level in this county (the police told me the night of the rock incident that they only come out for rapes and murders their words not mine) that they probably will be relieved to see a house/family as nice as mine. I live in a good neighborhood but overall the county has some serious issues.
I would not think the box being far removed would be an issue but another person might see it as an issue ... or was this with pregnant women??? I do remember something about cats and young children of fetuses ... come-on brain cells, activate!! lol
 

Moe248

Junior Member
Just a FYI .. cats and infants do not mix .. transfer of disease is a concern.
She is 4.5 so while she is little she is not an infant... Cat boxes are far away from the living area of the home, in a dank part of the basement with out a proper light, again i live in Michigan in an older home with what we call a "michigan basement, it is concrete block with a topsy turvy cement floor many floor drains and a sub pump as in my area basements tend to be pretty wet. (mine is pretty wet, nothing can be stored directly on the floor) Mom's basement is the same, as are most homes in my area.

We do have a finished side that has a higher floor and paneled walls, again i wouldn't trust that it will stay dry 100% of the time and it has tile flooring probably due to the likely-hood that from time to time it will get wet (we rent)
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
I would not think the box being far removed would be an issue but another person might see it as an issue ... or was this with pregnant women??? I do remember something about cats and young children of fetuses ... come-on brain cells, activate!! lol




One must actually have brain cells in order for them to activate...

Seriously - kids and cats are not a problem unless one of them is eating the other's feces on a regular basis.

Or unless there's a flea infestation.
 

KmanStuck

Member
One must actually have brain cells in order for them to activate...
.
Cute comment .. don't quit your day job....yes, it was in reference to pregnant women, not small infants .. though a presence of a cat in itself may be an issue...to some (allergies, physical hazards, etc.).

Sorry to overtax folks.
 

Moe248

Junior Member
cats and the at risk population

Cats (the kind that go outside) commonly carry ring worm, this is a concern for small children, although it's a fungal skin infection that is pretty easy to treat and faily common in small kids.

toxoplasmosis is another concern for cat owners who are pregnant in the first trimester particularly. Or for the imunocompramised and elderly

Finally the last issue with kitties is that they can get in a crib and smother a baby, they do not suck the breath and the smell of formula/breast milk is not appetizing to them that is a wives tale. They do however like to snuggle warm things.

The litter box is likely an issue due to cat urine (if i get where OG was headed) mostly that the smell of kitty pee is very repulsive and is frequently a sign of poor hygiene and a dirty house in a cat owner.

My statements about the location of the box and the basement were more getting at how up close and personal do you think they will be? will they be rifling though my unfinished basement?
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Cute comment .. don't quit your day job....yes, it was in reference to pregnant women, not small infants .. though a presence of a cat in itself may be an issue...to some (allergies, physical hazards, etc.).

Sorry to overtax folks.


Don't get snarky with the one person who actually defended you earlier.

Okay? Alright then.

Besides - you said "kids". Not a pregnant woman.

Now if y'all want me to type out the story of when CPS were at my #1's house and the fact that she had 7 cats at the time...I'll do that. Suffice it to say, she still has the kids with her.

And the cats.

Really - it's NOT that big of a deal unless there are obvious signs of litter box neglect OR the children are obviously suffering.

Which is rarely the case.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Cats (the kind that go outside) commonly carry ring worm, this is a concern for small children, although it's a fungal skin infection that is pretty easy to treat and faily common in small kids.

toxoplasmosis is another concern for cat owners who are pregnant in the first trimester particularly. Or for the imunocompramised and elderly

Finally the last issue with kitties is that they can get in a crib and smother a baby, they do not suck the breath and the smell of formula/breast milk is not appetizing to them that is a wives tale. They do however like to snuggle warm things.

The litter box is likely an issue due to cat urine (if i get where OG was headed) mostly that the smell of kitty pee is very repulsive and is frequently a sign of poor hygiene and a dirty house in a cat owner.

My statements about the location of the box and the basement were more getting at how up close and personal do you think they will be? will they be rifling though my unfinished basement?
You got it Moe. Not going to be an issue where they are located. And most likely you won't have an issue with it. Just remember what others have you told -- you can stop the interview and you don't have to answer any question that makes you uncomfortable.
 
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