Friendly visit from CPS

[mistoffolees]

You got it Moe. Not going to be an issue where they are located. And most likely you won't have an issue with it. Just remember what others have you told -- you can stop the interview and you don't have to answer any question that makes you uncomfortable.

One more thing. Take a bunch of digital pictures either immediately before or after the visit and have them time-stamped (or have a witness with you while you're taking the pictures). Then, if you get a case worker who complains about a mess or anything like that, you'll have documentation.

 

[Moe248]

photos

can i take them of the CPS lady while she is here, like her in the living room, family room, the bedrooms etc? is that allowed?

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

can i take them of the CPS lady while she is here, like her in the living room, family room, the bedrooms etc? is that allowed?

Might be an issue if you didn't ask first! Might be an issue if she's like me and avoids cameras, too. I guess the worst she could say is no, but then again, like OG said; Don't get too friendly with them, so have the pics before and after, timestamped or a witness to you taking the pics, it might make a difference.

 

[mistoffolees]

can i take them of the CPS lady while she is here, like her in the living room, family room, the bedrooms etc? is that allowed?

I wouldn't. That makes it confrontational ("we don't trust you, so we're going to take pictures"). Just get them before or after she's there.

 

[CJane]

There is no such thing as a friendly visit from CPS.

Oh, I dunno. I'd say that the two times that CPS has 'visited' my house in the past 5 years were both very friendly. Not like go out and have a beer afterwards kind of friendly, but certainly without rancor or concern on my part - or apparently on theirs either.

 

[KmanStuck]

can i take them of the CPS lady while she is here, like her in the living room, family room, the bedrooms etc? is that allowed?

Video would be better ... if she objects just tell her that it is your house & if she objects then she will need to leave...if you wanted a record of her inspection...and you can follow her around like a puppy dog if you like.

Most should be professional I would assume ... they have no emotional reason not to be. But some are arrogant I would assume.

 

[stealth2]

I do remember something about cats and young children of fetuses ...

Uuuummm... I don't think fetuses *have* young children, dude.

 

[LdiJ]

Oh, I dunno. I'd say that the two times that CPS has 'visited' my house in the past 5 years were both very friendly. Not like go out and have a beer afterwards kind of friendly, but certainly without rancor or concern on my part - or apparently on theirs either.

I had the same experience. In fact, the caseworker told me that she never expected to find anything wrong, that the "report" that was made sounded suspicious to start with.

 

[mistoffolees]

Video would be better ... if she objects just tell her that it is your house & if she objects then she will need to leave...if you wanted a record of her inspection...and you can follow her around like a puppy dog if you like.

Most should be professional I would assume ... they have no emotional reason not to be. But some are arrogant I would assume.

You can get the same effect with a witness and a video just before or after the case worker is there-but it will be a lot less confrontational. Why risk alienating the case worker who ultimately controls whether the kids will be coming to your house?

OG is right - caseworkers have a huge amount of power. While I personally prefer to cooperate with them if you have nothing to hide, I would certainly do everything I can not to antagonize them. Following them around with a video camera is almost certainly going to be offensive. So why do it unless you're trying to get into a power struggle (which is a bad idea)?

 

[kimberlywrites]

Ok, first off, you have a lot of extra nadn unnecessary info info here. SEcond, Why ins't your fiance posting? This is actually his --and only his, not your--legal problem Just ot make sure you are aware, ok? You have an awful lot of "we"'s here, and it really should be "him."

CSO, this is her problem. CPS called her. CPS will often call/interview any adults living in the house where the child lives, temporarily or full-time. I think she worded this post perfectly. Concerned, not over-stepping.

I agree with everyone else, OP. Don't offer any info they don't ask for, don't worry about a sparkling house (I'm sure they would recognize the house isn't usually like that, and then wonder what you're trying to hide?) And don't try to turn this into a case for custody on behalf of daughter's dad...

 

[CSO286]

Ok, first off, you have a lot of extra nadn unnecessary info info here. SEcond, Why ins't your fiance posting? This is actually his --and only his, not your--legal problem Just ot make sure you are aware, ok? You have an awful lot of "we"'s here, and it really should be "him."

CSO, this is her problem. CPS called her. CPS will often call/interview any adults living in the house where the child lives, temporarily or full-time. I think she worded this post perfectly. Concerned, not over-stepping.

I agree with everyone else, OP. Don't offer any info they don't ask for, don't worry about a sparkling house (I'm sure they would recognize the house isn't usually like that, and then wonder what you're trying to hide?) And don't try to turn this into a case for custody on behalf of daughter's dad...

No, actually this is Dad's problem. However her actions can affect the outcome. I wanted her to be aware of that from the get go, so she didn't do something that could adversely affect Dad's legal situation.

Did you read anything I posted further on this thread? I did give her practical advice on dealing with the upcoming visit. Oooh...and even apologized if my post was construed as "attitudinal" (my very own word there).


OP--please post ana update. I'm sure we'd all like to know how things played out.

 

[Moe248]

Friendly was just the right word

So they were here about an hour early, but called first. So that was just fine.

She came in the house (I was putting away the dishwasher dishes) through the front door walked into the kitchen with the BF stopping briefly to say hello to the little one and gave us an update on mom's case. Then ask some questions about where we worked, where we lived before here, how the little one had been since the last CPS visit to Mom's and ask about the police case against Mom and Mom's boyfriend.

20 minutes later she said okey doke well it was really good to meet you guys, just need to check your food situation and her sleeping arrangements and we are good to go. She opened the fridge and a package of Go-gurts fell out on her lol. She made a joke about flying food being a good sign, then checked out the little ones room, made some more comments about how pretty our house is and how it is bigger inside then it appears. Then left....

So all the laundry i did? unnessisary (well necessary i guess because it would have eventually been done) dusting, organizing of closets etc etc etc... yeah also didn't need to be done.

Even my cats behaved themselves, no cat squabbles, no hissing (I have a cat that hisses at strangers, doesn't attack but is not a fan of people he doesn't know in our house) yeah that was it.

So all in all she wasn't looking to find anything here, she did say that when they investigate a parent in a split parent situation they have to do a meet and greet at the other home every time. (makes sense)

Yeah so thats the end.

In the event that you are contacted for a follow up to a cps visit at your ex's home like we were my advice is to stay calm, clean the house (just so that you have piece of mind) and let them in. The atty told us this morning that if we refused the visit she would be back this afternoon with a warrant and it would be much worse

 

[mistoffolees]

In the event that you are contacted for a follow up to a cps visit at your ex's home like we were my advice is to stay calm, clean the house (just so that you have piece of mind) and let them in. The atty told us this morning that if we refused the visit she would be back this afternoon with a warrant and it would be much worse

The first part I agree with - in most cases. There are exceptions.

The part about the warrant? I don't think so. Unless someone was being accused of a crime, they couldn't get a warrant. Their power is actually different. Your BF is hoping that he'll get custody if they take the child away from his ex. If you fail to cooperate with CPS, that's not likely to happen without a battle. If you cooperate, it could happen. THAT is why it may be to someone's advantage to cooperate.

Specifically:
Child Protective Services and the Juvenile Justice System - Kidjacked
"If there is no "exigent circumstances" (imminent danger) to your children with "probable cause" (credible witness) to support a warrant. CPS (everywhere in the United States) cannot lawfully enter your home and speak with you and your children. In fact, it is illegal, and you can sue the social worker and the police who assist them and they both lose immunity when personally sued."

They MUST have probable cause to get a warrant.

 

[CJane]

So they were here about an hour early, but called first. So that was just fine.

She came in the house (I was putting away the dishwasher dishes) through the front door walked into the kitchen with the BF stopping briefly to say hello to the little one and gave us an update on mom's case. Then ask some questions about where we worked, where we lived before here, how the little one had been since the last CPS visit to Mom's and ask about the police case against Mom and Mom's boyfriend.

20 minutes later she said okey doke well it was really good to meet you guys, just need to check your food situation and her sleeping arrangements and we are good to go. She opened the fridge and a package of Go-gurts fell out on her lol. She made a joke about flying food being a good sign, then checked out the little ones room, made some more comments about how pretty our house is and how it is bigger inside then it appears. Then left....

So all the laundry i did? unnessisary (well necessary i guess because it would have eventually been done) dusting, organizing of closets etc etc etc... yeah also didn't need to be done.

Even my cats behaved themselves, no cat squabbles, no hissing (I have a cat that hisses at strangers, doesn't attack but is not a fan of people he doesn't know in our house) yeah that was it.

So all in all she wasn't looking to find anything here, she did say that when they investigate a parent in a split parent situation they have to do a meet and greet at the other home every time. (makes sense)

Yeah so thats the end.

In the event that you are contacted for a follow up to a cps visit at your ex's home like we were my advice is to stay calm, clean the house (just so that you have piece of mind) and let them in. The atty told us this morning that if we refused the visit she would be back this afternoon with a warrant and it would be much worse

That's pretty much what I was expecting.

Even the most recent CPS visit to my house (a couple weeks ago) was about as you described. Except she interviewed the girls in their TV room upstairs which is a mess 99% of the time. Clean, but godawful on the organization front. Typical messy/disgusting teen/tween space.

She wasn't even worried about THAT. And she didn't do a food check, which surprised me a little. It might have been amusing. I'm kind of "European" when it comes to food in the house. I have a tiny little fridge that really only holds a half gal of milk, some condiments, a few beers and cheese. There's never any "food" in the fridge. Everything I buy is either put in the freezer immediately or is pantry goods. Which the first time CPS investigated, took a bit of explaining. I'm sure it was disconcerting to open a fridge and see virtually nothing in there.

 

[Isis1]

That's pretty much what I was expecting.

Even the most recent CPS visit to my house (a couple weeks ago) was about as you described. Except she interviewed the girls in their TV room upstairs which is a mess 99% of the time. Clean, but godawful on the organization front. Typical messy/disgusting teen/tween space.

She wasn't even worried about THAT. And she didn't do a food check, which surprised me a little. It might have been amusing. I'm kind of "European" when it comes to food in the house. I have a tiny little fridge that really only holds a half gal of milk, some condiments, a few beers and cheese. There's never any "food" in the fridge. Everything I buy is either put in the freezer immediately or is pantry goods. Which the first time CPS investigated, took a bit of explaining. I'm sure it was disconcerting to open a fridge and see virtually nothing in there.

i had the SAME exact thing happen to me. we had JUST went shopping. food was jammed packed in freezer, and in all 5 cupboard spaces. the fridge, had condiments, milk, and eggs. i opened the fridge "you need to go shopping". opened the freezer, two bags of chicken falls out. "oh. no you don't". open the cupborads "wow. ok."