mother constantly threatening me with court as a way of stripping me of time with my

[stealth2]

Thing is, OP, everything you say is moot, because you apparently do not have court-ordered parenting time. Without that, you have nothing enforceable. Mom is not required to give you any time at all. You can stomp your feet and say it's not fair, but that is the reality. So it's up to you whether you want to be an adult and take it to court, or be a child and have a tantrum.

 

[Ohiogal]

When we first broke up I demanded that when mom was a work I be allowed to care for my child, especially considering mom worked a 4am-noon shift.

YOu demanded? Really?

That was fine for almost a year until I started giving some input on how we should handle future child care. I insisted my child be enrolled in day care so she can socialize with kids and got push back and restrictions with visitation, no more morning visits to dads while mom was at work.

You have no legal custody -- hence you have NO RIGHT to insist upon anything.

When I moved out of my place and in with my wife visitation went from close to 50/50 to only two days a week. That turned into a recent discussion pertaining her relocating and not being concerned with whatever effect that would have on the relationship between my daughter and I, nor was I granted permission to discuss how we could even make adjustments should that relocation take place.

Again, no enforceable rights without a court order.

There are no unreasonable demands from my end just the request that everything remain as close to what my child has been accustomed to. I once requested to be able to pick up my child the night before my regular days off weekly, that request landed me in a child support hearing lol

Everything you wrote was unreasonable quite frankly.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Best advice? Get a court order so you have enforceable rights.

 

[concernedpops]

So let me get this straight.
A. Since birth I have established paternity, made regular child support payments for my child but I still have zero rights as a father?
B. While I do not have a court ordered visitation schedule, I had previously appeared in court to establish one. Neither one of us currently have custody or visitation set on paper. Does that mean that by default mom has been awarded custody because my daughter came from her?
C. Am I to assume that in our upcoming custody and visitation hearing that what I have been to for my daughter from birth till now will carry no weight as I have never had the court establish visitation for me?
D. While I understand that mom can deny me visits from now until eternity until I have a court order stating I can see my daughter will her doing so be seen as the norm if we had previously stated in our last custody and visitation hearing that we would handle visits outside of court. It would seem to me that mom has already told the court that she would make a good faith effort to facilitate a relationship between my daughter and I and theres evidence of the contrary.

The end game for me in all of this is that I would like joint custody where visitation is as close to equal as feasible. We could alternate holidays and birthdays and i would like a stretch in the summer where my daughter could stay with me for a few weeks at a time. Furthermore I would like to request that the court require notification if my child is going to cross state lines whether if its for a vacation or a relocation. My regular days off from work rotate weekly as such;

week 1 MON, TUES week 3 WED, THURS week 5 FRI, SAT, SUN
week 2 TUES, WED week 4 THURS, FRI week 6 SAT, SUN, MON

After week six the rotation resets. Mom has set weekends off. Thus far I have been able to see my daughter every week on my regular days off (RDO), picking her up on the morning of first day off and returning her on my first day back to work. ALL I WOULD BE ASKING TO COURT IS TO MAINTAIN THIS ROUTINE. If I was feeling lucky I'd request one day before my RDO's, giving me 3 days on most weeks and 4 days on my three day weekends from work. I have every intention on following moms parenting plan and living up to my responsibilities as far as pick up and drop off from school is considered. IS THIS STILL CONSIDERED UNREASONABLE?

 

[Ohiogal]

So let me get this straight.
A. Since birth I have established paternity, made regular child support payments for my child but I still have zero rights as a father?

You have zero enforceable ability to see your child.

B. While I do not have a court ordered visitation schedule, I had previously appeared in court to establish one. Neither one of us currently have custody or visitation set on paper. Does that mean that by default mom has been awarded custody because my daughter came from her?

Yes. mom is the SOLE LEGAL CUSTODIAN of the child.

C. Am I to assume that in our upcoming custody and visitation hearing that what I have been to for my daughter from birth till now will carry no weight as I have never had the court establish visitation for me?

Assume what you want. You are good at doing that.

D. While I understand that mom can deny me visits from now until eternity until I have a court order stating I can see my daughter will her doing so be seen as the norm if we had previously stated in our last custody and visitation hearing that we would handle visits outside of court. It would seem to me that mom has already told the court that she would make a good faith effort to facilitate a relationship between my daughter and I and theres evidence of the contrary.

Nope. There is not evidence to the contrary. Not at all. Mom has allowed you to have a relationship even when there was nothing court ordered.

The end game for me in all of this is that I would like joint custody where visitation is as close to equal as feasible. We could alternate holidays and birthdays and i would like a stretch in the summer where my daughter could stay with me for a few weeks at a time. Furthermore I would like to request that the court require notification if my child is going to cross state lines whether if its for a vacation or a relocation. My regular days off from work rotate weekly as such;

week 1 MON, TUES week 3 WED, THURS week 5 FRI, SAT, SUN
week 2 TUES, WED week 4 THURS, FRI week 6 SAT, SUN, MON

After week six the rotation resets. Mom has set weekends off. Thus far I have been able to see my daughter every week on my regular days off (RDO), picking her up on the morning of first day off and returning her on my first day back to work. ALL I WOULD BE ASKING TO COURT IS TO MAINTAIN THIS ROUTINE. If I was feeling lucky I'd request one day before my RDO's, giving me 3 days on most weeks and 4 days on my three day weekends from work. I have every intention on following moms parenting plan and living up to my responsibilities as far as pick up and drop off from school is considered. IS THIS STILL CONSIDERED UNREASONABLE?

You need counsel. And quite frankly, you need to cut the attitude. You got extremely rude and you are lucky you are getting any answers.

 

[cbg]

I have a feeling we may be talking about different things, here.

OP, when you say you established paternity, what do you mean by that? What actions did you take that you see as establishing paternity?

Because I have a feeling that you don't mean the same things we do by that phrase. Let's clarify.

 

[Ohiogal]

I have a feeling we may be talking about different things, here.

OP, when you say you established paternity, what do you mean by that? What actions did you take that you see as establishing paternity?

Because I have a feeling that you don't mean the same things we do by that phrase. Let's clarify.

He stated he got a court ordered child support order against him. That means paternity has been established for this child or he would not have been ordered to pay child support. He hasn't gotten a visitation order. Of course he also stated he knows that courts are anti-dad and for mom and that I need to learn more about courts before commenting. In other words, his ignorance knows no bounds.

 

[stealth2]

He stated he got a court ordered child support order against him. That means paternity has been established for this child or he would not have been ordered to pay child support. He hasn't gotten a visitation order. Of course he also stated he knows that courts are anti-dad and for mom and that I need to learn more about courts before commenting. In other words, his ignorance knows no bounds.

We should give OP a chance to answer the question thst was asked of HIM?

 

[concernedpops]

An acknowledgement of paternity was signed by both parents at birth which also stated on my custody orders

 

[Ohiogal]

We should give OP a chance to answer the question thst was asked of HIM?

He did answer it:

I absolutely have established paternity of my child and have been paying child support since October of 2012

In addition, I asked him that question before this response. I also asked other questions and he proceeded to attack me for not knowing anything.

 

[Zigner]

GWe should give OP a chance to answer the question thst was asked of HIM?

The question was answered by the information that was given originally. If there is a child support order, then paternity must have been established.

 

[Ohiogal]

An acknowledgement of paternity was signed by both parents at birth which also stated on my custody orders

You don't have custody orders. You have never been to court for custody and visitation orders that were ever granted as you have stated several times.

 

[concernedpops]

Custody petition ... my mistake

 

[torimac]

So let me get this straight.

B. While I do not have a court ordered visitation schedule, I had previously appeared in court to establish one. Neither one of us currently have custody or visitation set on paper.

An acknowledgement of paternity was signed by both parents at birth which also stated on my custody orders

Either you have custody orders or you don't. Which is it?

 

[concernedpops]

Either you have custody orders or you don't. Which is it?

I filed a petition for custody and visitation on 8/25 and she in turn filed a petition on 08/26. On the petition that she filed it states that an acknowledgment of paternity was signed at birth. I do not have custody orders but we have both served each other with custody and visitation papers and have a court date in October ... sorry for the confusion