Moving to a new town in the same state, with my daughter

[timi26]

Washington State

I have two children with someone that I am not married to, never have been married. My older son is moving to his dads this summer and may spend the school year with him. We both agreed that would be in our sons best interest. The father lives about two hours away. He is married and has a nice family for himself. So, with that being said I am moving this summer to a new town but in the same state and the same distance from the father but just the other direction from where we are now. I will be moving with my daughter to my fiance's home. I told their father this and he said that I will need to be prepared to leave my daughter with him if I am moving into his house. He does not like my fiance but they both used to get along. I have known my fiance for 15 years.
The father of my kids has yet to agree to a parenting plan I have tried 3 times and it doesnt work out. He either does not agree or he purposely gets served with papers only the day before the court date and then doesnt show up. There is no parenting plan in place. He did not want someone to tell him how to be a parent is what he says. So now that I have plans to move and be happy with who I want, the father now thinks he has a say in what I do. Can he do anything to stop me from moving? He will still be seeing our daughter. What can I do to make sure I can finally do what I want to do? Could he get custody of her just because he doesnt like where I am going? I am so lost and scared because he has threatened me in the past about this before which is why I have lived where I am for 5 years because he knows how to make me feel like I have to listen to him. I have the kid full time and have had them full time since they were born. I would really appreciate any advice and/or help you may have. Thank you all for helping me out.

 

[Proserpina]

Washington State

I have two children with someone that I am not married to, never have been married. My older son is moving to his dads this summer and may spend the school year with him. We both agreed that would be in our sons best interest. The father lives about two hours away. He is married and has a nice family for himself. So, with that being said I am moving this summer to a new town but in the same state and the same distance from the father but just the other direction from where we are now. I will be moving with my daughter to my fiance's home. I told their father this and he said that I will need to be prepared to leave my daughter with him if I am moving into his house. He does not like my fiance but they both used to get along. I have known my fiance for 15 years.
The father of my kids has yet to agree to a parenting plan I have tried 3 times and it doesnt work out. He either does not agree or he purposely gets served with papers only the day before the court date and then doesnt show up. There is no parenting plan in place. He did not want someone to tell him how to be a parent is what he says. So now that I have plans to move and be happy with who I want, the father now thinks he has a say in what I do. Can he do anything to stop me from moving? He will still be seeing our daughter. What can I do to make sure I can finally do what I want to do? Could he get custody of her just because he doesnt like where I am going? I am so lost and scared because he has threatened me in the past about this before which is why I have lived where I am for 5 years because he knows how to make me feel like I have to listen to him. I have the kid full time and have had them full time since they were born. I would really appreciate any advice and/or help you may have. Thank you all for helping me out.

He can never stop you from moving. He can only ever try to stop his child/ren from moving.

Given that she lives with you and presumably has done for some time, the chances of him getting custody based on you moving (and an in-state move at that) aren't necessarily strong. While it's true she'd have to change school districts, she's already in a district outside of Dad's area so she'd have to move anyway. This is in your favor.

Your best bet might be to beat him to the punch and file to get a parenting plan in place before you move. It doesn't honestly matter whether he turns up in court or not; court orders protect ALL of you. Make sure your order spells out his parenting time and includes details covering who picks up and drops off, who gets which holidays, and perhaps include times as well as dates.

The other option is to just move and wait for him to file something. Given that things seem to be somewhat acrimonious, I'm not convinced that's your best bet.

Start reading: https://www.courts.wa.gov/forms/?fa=forms.contribute&formID=34

 

[CJane]

If there is currently no custody order, you can move wherever you wish. It would be up to Dad to try and prevent the relocation by filing in court... but if he's so opposed to court orders...

And even IF he filed in court, since you're staying in state and not creating MORE distance, just different distance, it's unlikely he'd be able to do anything about it anyway.

 

[timi26]

Thank you

Thank you for replying. I think I might get paperwork ready just in case something happens. Just need to be prepared.

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you for replying. I think I might get paperwork ready just in case something happens. Just need to be prepared.

Preparation is always a good idea

 

[SESmama]

Honestly OP I would file anyway. If the father gets a wild hair what's to say he won't prevent you from seeing your son? Court orders protect everyone.

 

[stealth2]

A judge may also be loathe to separate the siblings. Since Mom considers Dad fit to have custody of the one child...

 

[LdiJ]

A judge may also be loathe to separate the siblings. Since Mom considers Dad fit to have custody of the one child...

Are you TRYING to scare this parent about something that is unlikely?

 

[stealth2]

Are you TRYING to scare this parent about something that is unlikely?

Nope - but it's something I would be concerned about, were I in her shoes. Dad *might* have some traction. Might not, true.

 

[timi26]

Son will be with dad

My son will be with his father because of behaviorial issues and learning issues. His father has never been a constant in his life so we decided together that my son needs his dad.

 

[SESmama]

To quote LD

...simply changing [his] residence is NOT going to magically make [him] better... [He] may seem better in the short term, but the problems will re-emerge in the long term.

 

[timi26]

Son will be with dad

Yes I know. I have been dealing with this for 10 years. My son wants to be with his dad. I don't want him to go but there are so much more opportunities there for him. All his therapists agree that the move will better my son. I am excited for him.

 

[LdiJ]

To quote LD

I meant what I said there...but you left out all of the rest, which is important to the context of what I said. I agree that my entire post on that particular thread might be very applicable to this one as well. However, it appears that on this thread the two parents combined have decided what is in the best interest of their son, which was not the case on the thread you took that partial quote from. I am not inclined to second guess what two fit parents decide, together, is in the best interest of their child.