Private school

[Ohiogal]

I told him several months ago that I could not afford private school. You have no idea what type of person he is.

You have no idea that you do not get to unilaterally change your mind. YOU AGREED to private school. Now that you no longer agree, you go to court. YOU should not have agreed. You CHOSE to agree.

 

[Ohiogal]

I realize this will probably have to go to court but I was just hoping to get some advice. I can understand what you are saying but how am I supposed to pay with no job???

You are supposed to get a job. SCHOOL is a luxury at this point. You have a child to support and you agreed to private school. Just because you changed your mind matters not. YOU KNEW your child attended private school. You agreed to your child attending private school. You choosing not to work is your problem. If you want the child in public school, you get to go back to court. Expect that you will be required to pay said money towards this year because you "changed" your mind. And don't try the whole -- he threatened me excuse.

 

[Ohiogal]

I did not lie! I am sorry if you don't know the whole situation. I am trying to put out there pertinent facts but I may not get them all out there. These are just a couple of things that happened a couple of years ago: He sent my grandmother an email threatening to blow his brains out in my car. He has no compassion for anyone. If you have ever met a manipulative person, he is that times 10.

You did lie. YOU STATED HE JUST ENROLLED THE CHILD AS THOUGH YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT:

My ex-husband and I have joint legal and physical custody. He has enrolled our son in private school and insists that I pay half.

Sorry but no. He enrolled the child with your agreement last year.

You need to quit playing the victim. You really do. How much counseling and therapy have you had? He can't be that bad of a person or he wouldn't have joint custody. Or did he threaten you into agreeing to that?

 

[cdogzena1]

At the time I agreed to private school last year I thought I could swing it. Turnsout I could not. I gave him ample notice that I cannot afford it this year. So for the next 18 years I have to live in poverty instead of trying to better myself for me and my child. Once I get my nursing degree in April it would not be a problem for private school. I would be happy if he went back to private school after that when I was able to afford it. Have you ever tried to live on minimum wage?

 

[Ohiogal]

At the time I agreed to private school last year I thought I could swing it. Turnsout I could not. I gave him ample notice that I cannot afford it this year. So for the next 18 years I have to live in poverty instead of trying to better myself for me and my child. Once I get my nursing degree in April it would not be a problem for private school. I would be happy if he went back to private school after that when I was able to afford it. Have you ever tried to live on minimum wage?

Why yes, yes I have. And I made smarter decisions than you have. You don't get to unilaterally determine your child cannot go to private school when you said your child could. You need to go to court. You also need to expect to have to pay for private school until the court determines otherwise. Own your decisions and quit blaming your ex for them.

 

[Isis1]

OP, I disagree with OG in you having to pay for the private school.

Public school is available. You ARE providing for the child. How you are providing for your child on your parenting time is no one's business. It's being taken care of. Whether it be by trust fund or foodstamps.

If dad wants to continue with the private school, he can continue to pay the whole cost.

Until you are court ordered to pay a dime, don't give him anything. Don't respond to anything. Let him have his tantrum like a brat that he is.

If he does actually take you to court, get an attorney. Have it on record you disagreed with the school as you do not have the finances. And he enrolled the child anyway. You only agreed if he paid for it.

 

[LdiJ]

At the time I agreed to private school last year I thought I could swing it. Turnsout I could not. I gave him ample notice that I cannot afford it this year. So for the next 18 years I have to live in poverty instead of trying to better myself for me and my child. Once I get my nursing degree in April it would not be a problem for private school. I would be happy if he went back to private school after that when I was able to afford it. Have you ever tried to live on minimum wage?

I completely disagree that you should stop nursing school when you are so close to finishing. I think that would be utterly foolish.

I do believe however, based on this new information, that you are at least going to need to get a part time job. You are not ordered to pay for private school. You agreed to it last year and made it known that you could not do it for this year. That does not make you responsible to pay for it. Only a court order can make you responsible to pay for it.

However, there is a chance that a court could order you to pay, and there is an equal chance that a court might not order you to pay. I think that you should get a part time job so that you can save up some money in case dad takes you to court and you are ordered to pay.

I think that you should absolutely ignore anyone that tells you to quit school. You are simply far to close to finishing to wreck your future and the future you could provide your son.

 

[Ohiogal]

OP, I disagree with OG in you having to pay for the private school.

Public school is available. You ARE providing for the child. How you are providing for your child on your parenting time is no one's business. It's being taken care of. Whether it be by trust fund or foodstamps.

If dad wants to continue with the private school, he can continue to pay the whole cost.

Until you are court ordered to pay a dime, don't give him anything. Don't respond to anything. Let him have his tantrum like a brat that he is.

If he does actually take you to court, get an attorney. Have it on record you disagreed with the school as you do not have the finances. And he enrolled the child anyway. You only agreed if he paid for it.

SHE AGREED to the child attending private school. To change that, she needs to go back to court. She also agreed to paying half the cost. Guess what? She can be found in contempt if she listens to you. She is the one being a brat. She is the one acting irresponsible. She is the one who won't grow up and take responsibility for her actions. Did you miss where she agreed to have the child enrolled last year and the child is JUST CONTINUING THIS YEAR? That changes things. Dad did NOT unilaterally start the child in private school. The child was CONTINUING in private school and mom wanted that to change.

 

[Ohiogal]

I completely disagree that you should stop nursing school when you are so close to finishing. I think that would be utterly foolish.

I do believe however, based on this new information, that you are at least going to need to get a part time job. You are not ordered to pay for private school. You agreed to it last year and made it known that you could not do it for this year. That does not make you responsible to pay for it. Only a court order can make you responsible to pay for it.

However, there is a chance that a court could order you to pay, and there is an equal chance that a court might not order you to pay. I think that you should get a part time job so that you can save up some money in case dad takes you to court and you are ordered to pay.

I think that you should absolutely ignore anyone that tells you to quit school. You are simply far to close to finishing to wreck your future and the future you could provide your son.

With joint legal custody she CAN NOT UNILATERALLY decide that there needs to be a change. She can very well be found to be responsible. Nursing school is a luxury and a job is more important at this juncture. If she can do both, fine. But she needs to be financially responsible and quit playing the victim.

 

[cdogzena1]

Thank you for your kinder words. I am going to school 40 hours a week and it is extremely hard. We started with a class of 23 at the end of August and 5 have already flunked out. My parents and grandparents help me out with basic necessities but they can't afford anything else on top of that. I also of course have extreme studying to do everyday to keep up my 92 average. I'm not whining about it but I know that it will be best for my child in the long run.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you for your kinder words. I am going to school 40 hours a week and it is extremely hard. We started with a class of 23 at the end of August and 5 have already flunked out. My parents and grandparents help me out with basic necessities but they can't afford anything else on top of that. I also of course have extreme studying to do everyday to keep up my 92 average. I'm not whining about it but I know that it will be best for my child in the long run.

You have financial obligations. Five already flunked out in the last week? Really? What responsibility do you take for any of this concerning your child -- not for others flunking out?

 

[stealth2]

I agree that quitting school would not be a great idea, but she may need to consider cutting back to part time so she can also work. I *personally* suspect it is more ikely than not that she will be ordered to contribute towards the tuition. But you are right, LDi (and others) that she is not currently ordered to pay, so it's up to her how to handle it. But she should expect to end up in court over it, and so a p/t job would be wise to help pay legal fees.

 

[Silverplum]

We all want things, and we'd like them now, please. More, please.

Sometimes it's education. Sometimes it's sex. Sometimes, it's food/clothing/housing.

You make your choices. Your parents and grandparents should not have to pay for your choices. Work harder, work more, wait. That's how you get what you want.

 

[Silverplum]

Thank you for your kinder words. I am going to school 40 hours a week and it is extremely hard. We started with a class of 23 at the end of August and 5 have already flunked out. My parents and grandparents help me out with basic necessities but they can't afford anything else on top of that. I also of course have extreme studying to do everyday to keep up my 92 average. I'm not whining about it but I know that it will be best for my child in the long run.

August, 2014? 2013?

 

[cdogzena1]

August, 2014? 2013?

Sorry - we started class again July 2014.