Private school

[cdogzena1]

We all want things, and we'd like them now, please. More, please.

Sometimes it's education. Sometimes it's sex. Sometimes, it's food/clothing/housing.

You make your choices. Your parents and grandparents should not have to pay for your choices. Work harder, work more, wait. That's how you get what you want.

My son was in kindergarten last year. I just don't see why it should be such a problem that he go to public school for one year (1st grade) so I can finish school, get a good paying job and support myself and my son properly. My parents and grandparents are willing to help me for the 8 more months that it will take so I can do this. I'm sorry but I see this as a much better option than a minimum wage job and food stamps and medicaid for the next 12 years.

 

[stealth2]

My son was in kindergarten last year. I just don't see why it should be such a problem that he go to public school for one year (1st grade) so I can finish school, get a good paying job and support myself and my son properly. My parents and grandparents are willing to help me for the 8 more months that it will take so I can do this. I'm sorry but I see this as a much better option than a minimum wage job and food stamps and medicaid for the next 12 years.

Again - all or nothing are not the only options. P/T school and P/T work for a year is another option you coyld explore. Are your parents/gtandparents willing/able to help you pay legal fees? 'Cause you may well have them. How will those get paid?

 

[cdogzena1]

Again - all or nothing are not the only options. P/T school and P/T work for a year is another option you coyld explore. Are your parents/gtandparents willing/able to help you pay legal fees? 'Cause you may well have them. How will those get paid?[/QU

I am in my last 8 months of a 2 year program. These last 8 months are clinicals - we actually go to hospitals and work under supervision. It is 40 hours a week and part time is not an option. If I drop out I have to pay back the money for school.

 

[Silverplum]

My son was in kindergarten last year. I just don't see why it should be such a problem that he go to public school for one year (1st grade) so I can finish school, get a good paying job and support myself and my son properly. My parents and grandparents are willing to help me for the 8 more months that it will take so I can do this. I'm sorry but I see this as a much better option than a minimum wage job and food stamps and medicaid for the next 12 years.

No need to be sorry. IF your family is willing, go ahead.

You can't think of a reason why Family Court might not like to see a child change schools every year??

 

[stealth2]

Again - all or nothing are not the only options. P/T school and P/T work for a year is another option you coyld explore. Are your parents/gtandparents willing/able to help you pay legal fees? 'Cause you may well have them. How will those get paid?[/QU

I am in my last 8 months of a 2 year program. These last 8 months are clinicals - we actually go to hospitals and work under supervision. It is 40 hours a week and part time is not an option. If I drop out I have to pay back the money for school.

Fair enough But then you may need to consider working p/t on top of that. Yes, really. I know a lot of single (ond other) parents who go to school AND work. Because they have kids to support. But again - you need to consider how you will pay legal fees if he takes you to court, and how you will pay the tuition if the court orders you to do so. Really.

 

[commentator]

I understand about nursing school. You have an assumption that it will make a huge amount of difference in your future life, I hope this is the case. And I agree, it will definitely help you be more employable. And at the end of the course, where you are doing clinicals, it would make NO sense to drop out. These programs are difficult to get into and are quite intense.

However, if you do not pay your part, you need to be prepared for another trip back to court, and you need to be prepared for the court system to react saying "Tough! You agreed to it. Pay your share!" as Ohio has done here. We can't say what they'll do, how this situation will be regarded, but you need an attorney and you need to listen to him/her.

The court will not be the least bit interested in your explanations and your justifications about what a terrible person he is, how scared of him you are, how important it is that you stay in school, how you can't live on minimum wage for the rest of your life, etc. They probably will not be wild about the idea of moving him from private school to public school this year. So you need extra income from somewhere, and soon.

The first reason you need it, in my eyes is that you need a good attorney to guide you from here on out. No one is very sympathetic to this "I'm a single mother and I'm in school to make a better life for myself and my child" when you are agreeing to things and then can't do them, and are trying to make it appear you are a victim. They may very well make you pay your half of the school costs. But if you are going to court again, the good attorney is the first requirement that is going to have a cost involved.

 

[tuffbrk]

I realize that your ex is unapproachable, however, you may want to consider reaching an agreement with him. For example, he pay the full tuition this year and next year, you will pay the full tuition as presumably you'll be employed Full Time by then. However, you need to be very certain that you will be able to make good on that agreement. You could draft the agreement, both sign it and then send it in to court to be reflected in your orders.

Or - just say no. Your child is starting first grade. You need to make a decision and stick with it. Kindergarten is one thing - but from here on in it will matter. If you go with the no option, I'd send a certified letter reiterating that, once again, you are advising him that you are not in a financial position to finance a private school education. As X is just now starting first grade, it is best that X attends the local public school for the sake of future continuity. You have no guarantee of employment once your schooling has been completed and so are not in a position to gauge the economic feasibility for the future. I'd also then provide him with a selection of 3 different dates to pick from to go to the school and register your child and offer to handle the registration independently to simplify the process for him (however, I'm sure that dad will prefer to register X with you).

Check with your local legal aid group. They often know of attorneys who are willing to work on a reduced rate basis. And you will need an attorney.

 

[Ohiogal]

I realize that your ex is unapproachable, however, you may want to consider reaching an agreement with him. For example, he pay the full tuition this year and next year, you will pay the full tuition as presumably you'll be employed Full Time by then. However, you need to be very certain that you will be able to make good on that agreement. You could draft the agreement, both sign it and then send it in to court to be reflected in your orders.

Or - just say no. Your child is starting first grade. You need to make a decision and stick with it. Kindergarten is one thing - but from here on in it will matter. If you go with the no option, I'd send a certified letter reiterating that, once again, you are advising him that you are not in a financial position to finance a private school education. As X is just now starting first grade, it is best that X attends the local public school for the sake of future continuity. You have no guarantee of employment once your schooling has been completed and so are not in a position to gauge the economic feasibility for the future. I'd also then provide him with a selection of 3 different dates to pick from to go to the school and register your child and offer to handle the registration independently to simplify the process for him (however, I'm sure that dad will prefer to register X with you).

Check with your local legal aid group. They often know of attorneys who are willing to work on a reduced rate basis. And you will need an attorney.

The only problem with that is some schools have started already. And she did nothing. If her child has started the school year, I can see her getting dragged to court easily. I can also easily see the court ORDERING that private school go forward for this year. Truthfully I can see that happening anyway because she DID NOTHING when she knew he didn't agree with her change of mind. At that point, SHE should have filed in court to force the issue.

Though she cannot UNILATERALLY just register the child in a public school. Which I think is what you are suggesting. The time to have had this discussion was truthfully before the last school year ended. And if he disagreed, she should have gone to court then -- when she KNEW she couldn't afford it. Instead, she did nothing except come here and stomp her feet about what a big bad meanie he is!

 

[cdogzena1]

I have not "stomped my feet". I have just come here for advice . Everyone makes mistakes and I didn't come here to be told I am an idiot or a "victim". If the situation were reversed and he lost his job I would try to be understanding and work something out. There is no compromise on his part - it's his way or no way

 

[Silverplum]

I have not "stomped my feet". I have just come here for advice . Everyone makes mistakes and I didn't come here to be told I am an idiot or a "victim". If the situation were reversed and he lost his job I would try to be understanding and work something out. There is no compromise on his part - it's his way or no way

Well, that's the Dad you have to deal with.

 

[cdogzena1]

Well, that's the Dad you have to deal with.

One other thing I would like to add that I forgot about earlier. When he started kindergarten at private school, that was the only grade they had. When it was brought up in June that they were going to add 1st grade I told him at that time that I could not afford it.

 

[Ohiogal]

I have not "stomped my feet". I have just come here for advice . Everyone makes mistakes and I didn't come here to be told I am an idiot or a "victim". If the situation were reversed and he lost his job I would try to be understanding and work something out. There is no compromise on his part - it's his way or no way

Have you read your posts? Because quite frankly, you have 100 excuses as to why you did this and no one understands how HORRIBLE he is. You have said that. No compromise? The same could be said about you. You are NOT an angel in this circumstance at all.

 

[Just Blue]

One other thing I would like to add that I forgot about earlier. When he started kindergarten at private school, that was the only grade they had. When it was brought up in June that they were going to add 1st grade I told him at that time that I could not afford it.

After reading this thread and all of your posts...It seems...odd...that you are just now "remembering" this.

 

[cdogzena1]

After reading this thread and all of your posts...It seems...odd...that you are just now "remembering" this.

Sorry I thought this site was just for advice - I didn't put every last detail on my post.

 

[Just Blue]

Sorry I thought this site was just for advice - I didn't put every last detail on my post.

Not just "a post". This point was brought up numerious times and yet you never mentioned that IMPORTANT information.