Child support trial NY

[M'obrien]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Have trial in NY tomorrow ... Ex husband is in arrears for over a year...every time I bring him to court he throws a grand into the pot to push off getting arrested...my child and I were evicted from our apartment I cashed out my pension so we could find a new apartment he never sees his kid...doesn't want to...only calls to inform him that he will sue me and see me in jail...runs out of court when they ask for drug testing...we don't even know where he lives...he hides his money and tortures his son on the phone...I can't afford a lawyer (but of course he has one) how can I proceed? This system is so broken and he will show up tomorrow and offer a grand ( like he did six months ago) and throught the divorce settlement he owes me over twenty grand (he took my car and all our valuables in exchange for cash he never paid) I just don't know how to proceed tomorrow as the judge never lets me speak? Any ideas? If I put him in jail he will come up with the money he owes but he always gets around it...I am so sad for my son he cries himself to sleep every night...any advice appreciated thank you

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Have trial in NY tomorrow ... Ex husband is in arrears for over a year...every time I bring him to court he throws a grand into the pot to push off getting arrested...my child and I were evicted from our apartment I cashed out my pension so we could find a new apartment he never sees his kid...doesn't want to...only calls to inform him that he will sue me and see me in jail...runs out of court when they ask for drug testing...we don't even know where he lives...he hides his money and tortures his son on the phone...I can't afford a lawyer (but of course he has one) how can I proceed? This system is so broken and he will show up tomorrow and offer a grand ( like he did six months ago) and throught the divorce settlement he owes me over twenty grand (he took my car and all our valuables in exchange for cash he never paid) I just don't know how to proceed tomorrow as the judge never lets me speak? Any ideas? If I put him in jail he will come up with the money he owes but he always gets around it...I am so sad for my son he cries himself to sleep every night...any advice appreciated thank you

Mom, the harsh truth is that 1) you cannot and should not rely on child support as income and 2) some parents are so intent on not paying child support that they will literally ruin their own financial lives and even accept jail as a better option.

Just go to court, calmly state the facts - not the emotion, just the facts - and let the court deal with your ex.

And get your son in therapy.

 

[M'obrien]

I work full time and have cashed out everything I have to put a roof over my child's head so please don't think for one second that child support would ever be any sort of income for me. My son needs braces, clothes and babysitters for when school is not on and I have to work. We have nothing and ask for very little. I gave him everything in the divorce as he is a great con artist and I am afraid of him. I don't even expect that I will get the money that he owes me which has nothing to do with the child support arrears. But I have had to purchase health insurance for my son (he lapsed of course) and the list is endless. I try to state facts and all a judge will hear is he wants to give me a few bucks to stay out of jail? This is a man that has screamed at judges and stated that he makes millions and does not want to be bothered with this ? I would be happy for help with the braces! Why is the system so stacked against me? I am drowning here and nobody is listening!

 

[Proserpina]

I work full time and have cashed out everything I have to put a roof over my child's head so please don't think for one second that child support would ever be any sort of income for me. My son needs braces, clothes and babysitters for when school is not on and I have to work. We have nothing and ask for very little. I gave him everything in the divorce as he is a great con artist and I am afraid of him. I don't even expect that I will get the money that he owes me which has nothing to do with the child support arrears. But I have had to purchase health insurance for my son (he lapsed of course) and the list is endless. I try to state facts and all a judge will hear is he wants to give me a few bucks to stay out of jail? This is a man that has screamed at judges and stated that he makes millions and does not want to be bothered with this ? I would be happy for help with the braces! Why is the system so stacked against me? I am drowning here and nobody is listening!

Mom, I feel for you - truly. But, if you can't survive financially without child support (because it honestly doesn't seem like you're going to get it on a regular basis), you have two choices. You either downsize, or you find another source of income.

Have you requested that his tax refunds are intercepted? Garnishment? Bank account levied? Is your case through CSE? (they can often be more effective in collecting).

 

[M'obrien]

I really don't want to whine here but we share a bedroom...there is no more downsizing for us...we don't live large and I can make it but he should not have to suffer with bad teeth and second hand clothes...that being said I have followed EVERY rule there is and he called my son tonight to inform him that he was bringing a VERY expensive attorney tomorrow (his words) to shut me down ... This coming from a man that has not seen (or requested to see) his son in a year. I just can't understand how he pulls this off? He is cheating the IRS so forget that...he does not even have an address on record (although he owns three houses under corporate names) and every time I go the judge yells at me? I have no voice here and I think you just confirmed that for me...thanks anyway I really appreciate it.

 

[The_Non-Mom]

How old is your son? Is there court-ordered phone visitation for him and Dad? If not, why do you continue to allow him to upset your son over the phone?


I also believe that counseling is very important for your son. It sounds like your son has reasons to believe that the sky is falling. Dad is telling him Mom is going to jail and I get the impression that Mom is telling him Dad is the reason they're so poor.

 

[mistoffolees]

I really don't want to whine here but we share a bedroom...there is no more downsizing for us...we don't live large and I can make it but he should not have to suffer with bad teeth and second hand clothes...that being said I have followed EVERY rule there is and he called my son tonight to inform him that he was bringing a VERY expensive attorney tomorrow (his words) to shut me down ... This coming from a man that has not seen (or requested to see) his son in a year. I just can't understand how he pulls this off? He is cheating the IRS so forget that...he does not even have an address on record (although he owns three houses under corporate names) and every time I go the judge yells at me? I have no voice here and I think you just confirmed that for me...thanks anyway I really appreciate it.

None of that changes the facts you were given. You may never be able to collect from him. Explain the facts to the court and hope for the best.

But I'm concerned that you assume that there's nothing you can do about the situation. Lots of people manage to survive on a single income - even a low income. They do it by filing for food stamps and/or other state support. They do it by getting a second job. They do it by seeing if their church or social groups have any programs that might help them. They do it by moving in with family. They do it by moving to a less expensive area. They do it by applying for state health insurance for the child. And so on. While it is certainly understandable that it's hard to get by without the child support from Dad, there are ways to do it.

 

[BL]

Request Child support collection go through CSEU , not directly from him to you .

Look through child support.

http://www.nycourts.gov/courts/nyc/family/selfrepresented.shtml#s[/U]]New York City Family Court

 

[RiverSong42]

Also, contact your local legal aid office. They can provide you with information on obtaining free or low cost representation.

 

[M'obrien]

My child support

My child support payments ( non payments) are payed to the court, not me as I knew he would never pay. He has not paid them in a year and they don't care at all...keep asking if I want him sent to jail with a sneer in their voice and then he throws a few hundred at them (we are up to fifty grand in arrears) and if I don't accept it they look at me like I am crazy...he is suing me in civil court for not keeping his furniture when my child and I were evicted from our home. He has not given the court an address ( only a post office box) and they accept all of his screaming and tantrums...this system is not designed to help a working single parent or to protect a child...I make 32k a year so I don't know if I can get legal aid...my divorce attorney will not take my calls to pursue the child support arrears because he knows I can't afford to pay him and instructed his secretary to tell me I was on my own...

Aside from my sob story is there anything I can say in court on my own to an unsympathetic magistrate judge that will get him to do something, anything to help me? My case was adjourned and I have two more weeks of sweating this out with a man who calls his kid on the phone and pretends he is sending a Christmas present...I would like to be able to buy him something even though his father won't ...

 

[BL]

My child support payments ( non payments) are payed to the court, not me as I knew he would never pay. He has not paid them in a year and they don't care at all...keep asking if I want him sent to jail with a sneer in their voice and then he throws a few hundred at them (we are up to fifty grand in arrears) and if I don't accept it they look at me like I am crazy...he is suing me in civil court for not keeping his furniture when my child and I were evicted from our home. He has not given the court an address ( only a post office box) and they accept all of his screaming and tantrums...this system is not designed to help a working single parent or to protect a child...I make 32k a year so I don't know if I can get legal aid...my divorce attorney will not take my calls to pursue the child support arrears because he knows I can't afford to pay him and instructed his secretary to tell me I was on my own...

Aside from my sob story is there anything I can say in court on my own to an unsympathetic magistrate judge that will get him to do something, anything to help me? My case was adjourned and I have two more weeks of sweating this out with a man who calls his kid on the phone and pretends he is sending a Christmas present...I would like to be able to buy him something even though his father won't ...

I gave you a link to self representation .In that link is CSEU .

Call them .

https://www.childsupport.ny.gov/dcse/home.html

https://www.childsupport.ny.gov/dcse/custodial_parent_services.html

The child support program provides custodial parents with assistance in obtaining financial support and medical insurance coverage for their children by locating parents, establishing paternity, establishing support orders, and collecting and distributing child support payments.

 

[M'obrien]

Child support ny

My son is in therapy which I pay for...I have been to child support court five times and always state the facts and never raise my voice or get emotional...he does enough screaming for everyone...I do not rely on him for anything so please don't talk down to me...my son has extreme buck teeth and learning disabilities which I pay tutors for to help him...does any of this not sound sad to you? What are the courts for?

 

[BL]

My son is in therapy which I pay for...I have been to child support court five times and always state the facts and never raise my voice or get emotional...he does enough screaming for everyone...I do not rely on him for anything so please don't talk down to me...my son has extreme buck teeth and learning disabilities which I pay tutors for to help him...does any of this not sound sad to you? What are the courts for?

If you think I'm talking down to you , get some therapy yourself , and your welcome for my legal advice .

Have a good day.

 

[tuffbrk]

Who is talking down to you? You've been advised of your legal options, given links to sites to assist you when you do go to court (perhaps you have not been including information that may influence the courts), been given suggestions for how to deal with your immediate concerns and do you post a thank you? No, you post directing the very helpful and supportive senior members to not speak down to you.

Huh.

 

[M'obrien]

Child support ny

I really do apologize if I sounded snippy...this has been a rough road for me and I do thank you for taking the time. I don't care for myself at all but a sweet little boy that has been very brave and kind through all of this. I guess I was hoping that I could find an avenue to pursue that I was unaware of but I seem to have covered all bases to no avail. I do thank you for your time and apologize if It seemed that I wasn't. Have a great day and keep doing what you are doing...this sight is great even If it just helps people realize that they are not losing their minds! Merry Christmas to you and your family.