What is the name of your state? MA
I am in the middle of a very messy situation right now and am looking for some legal advice and am wondering what I can expect to happen in court over the next few months. In order to get some input from you all, I'm going to have to share some personal information that I'm not proud to share. I'm not here for anyone to give me personal advice or to judge me. I hope that you will all respect this.
I recently found out that my husband had an affair while I was pregnant. The woman he had the affair with knew he was married and knew that he was not planning on leaving me. She ended up getting pregnant and made the decision to keep the baby, knowing that we were about to have a baby of our own and knowing that my husband did not want any involvement with her any longer. She told him that she wanted to have the baby and would never tell anyone he was the father. She asked him to just pay him whatever amount he could afford every month and gave him a bank account for him to make deposits into.
Now, the only reason I found out about this affair was because she brought it upon herself to tell me because he had told her that he wanted to work things out with me and was going to be a good husband and father to our child and she thought he was still cheating with someone else rather than with her...this was not the case, but because she thought he was cheating again, she thought I should know the truth.
Once I found all of this out, I advised my husband not to pay her a dime until he got a paternity test done. He does not want anything to do with this child as it was conceived with someone he had an affair with and wants to work things out with our family. Our baby and the baby conceived from the affair are 6 months apart in age.
So now we go to court this Friday to order the paternity test. After paternity is established, we will then go back to talk about support. Now 2 of our major concerns are:
1. Will the court take into consideration only my husband's salary or both or our household salary when figuring out support?
2. Since my husband and I are still married right now and there is no court order saying he pays support for our baby. I'm wondering will the court take into consideration that our child was born first and take into consideration that he is responsible for supporting our child when figuring out support for this other child?
Another thing is my husband wants to relinquish all his parental rights due to extreme disinterest in being a parent to this child due to the circumstances in which it was conceived and due to the type of interaction he has with the child's mother. The mother does not wish to have him involved in any way as well and wants him to work things out with me and our family. He is worried that by having his name on the birth certificate that the child will eventually track him down when it is older. He is also worried about the child's mother harassing him or our family sometime down the road out of spite. Is their a way to put a no contact order or something in place to help prevent these sorts of things from happening? Is it possible for his name to not be put on the birth certificate if paternity is established, he relinquishes his rights but still pays support?
Also, is it worth my husband bringing up the relationship him and the mother of this child had in court? I know it takes two to "tango", but she did make the decision to move forward with having this child knowing my husband was not going to be a father to the child and knowing he wanted to be with his family. Not sure if it would make any difference whatsoever.
Again, I'm not looking for anyone to judge my husband for what he did or to judge me for still being with him....this is all very new, so who knows what will happen down the road...but for now, we are still married. I'm just looking for legal advice or information regarding what we can expect in court.
Thanks for any input anyone can give me.
I am in the middle of a very messy situation right now and am looking for some legal advice and am wondering what I can expect to happen in court over the next few months. In order to get some input from you all, I'm going to have to share some personal information that I'm not proud to share. I'm not here for anyone to give me personal advice or to judge me. I hope that you will all respect this.
I recently found out that my husband had an affair while I was pregnant. The woman he had the affair with knew he was married and knew that he was not planning on leaving me. She ended up getting pregnant and made the decision to keep the baby, knowing that we were about to have a baby of our own and knowing that my husband did not want any involvement with her any longer. She told him that she wanted to have the baby and would never tell anyone he was the father. She asked him to just pay him whatever amount he could afford every month and gave him a bank account for him to make deposits into.
Now, the only reason I found out about this affair was because she brought it upon herself to tell me because he had told her that he wanted to work things out with me and was going to be a good husband and father to our child and she thought he was still cheating with someone else rather than with her...this was not the case, but because she thought he was cheating again, she thought I should know the truth.
Once I found all of this out, I advised my husband not to pay her a dime until he got a paternity test done. He does not want anything to do with this child as it was conceived with someone he had an affair with and wants to work things out with our family. Our baby and the baby conceived from the affair are 6 months apart in age.
So now we go to court this Friday to order the paternity test. After paternity is established, we will then go back to talk about support. Now 2 of our major concerns are:
1. Will the court take into consideration only my husband's salary or both or our household salary when figuring out support?
2. Since my husband and I are still married right now and there is no court order saying he pays support for our baby. I'm wondering will the court take into consideration that our child was born first and take into consideration that he is responsible for supporting our child when figuring out support for this other child?
Another thing is my husband wants to relinquish all his parental rights due to extreme disinterest in being a parent to this child due to the circumstances in which it was conceived and due to the type of interaction he has with the child's mother. The mother does not wish to have him involved in any way as well and wants him to work things out with me and our family. He is worried that by having his name on the birth certificate that the child will eventually track him down when it is older. He is also worried about the child's mother harassing him or our family sometime down the road out of spite. Is their a way to put a no contact order or something in place to help prevent these sorts of things from happening? Is it possible for his name to not be put on the birth certificate if paternity is established, he relinquishes his rights but still pays support?
Also, is it worth my husband bringing up the relationship him and the mother of this child had in court? I know it takes two to "tango", but she did make the decision to move forward with having this child knowing my husband was not going to be a father to the child and knowing he wanted to be with his family. Not sure if it would make any difference whatsoever.
Again, I'm not looking for anyone to judge my husband for what he did or to judge me for still being with him....this is all very new, so who knows what will happen down the road...but for now, we are still married. I'm just looking for legal advice or information regarding what we can expect in court.
Thanks for any input anyone can give me.
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