Self employed ex and child support

[Kevmar44]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?Ohio
My ex is somewhat newly self employed (a year and a half). When we went to court last fall he lied and said he was just "thinking" about starting his own business (even though he had been doing it for 6 months) and cried poor mouth. They based his child support on miniumum wage and then lowered it more when he had to provide health insurance (that I know didn't personally cost them a dime because they already had a family policy). I get $27 a week from him. How can I monitor his income to make sure his child support is increased with his income? My son is 13 and lives with me for the school year and with his dad for the summer. He does not pay his required half of anything. He owes me over $500 in pharmacy bills, $130 for a class trip from last year that he agreed to pay for in the court room....I could go on but you get the point. He voluntarily paid me child support for three years while we were separated and then I didn't receive a dime for three years after that because I stupidly believed him when he told me he would continue to pay me child support if I kept it out of the paper work because they were going to charge him $12 a month just to take it out! But that was before the new g/f stb wife came into the picture and she put a stop to that in a heart beat. He quit a $30,000+ a year job to start this new lawn mowing, flyer printing business of his and is sitting on a college degree (that I had to pay for through a loan in my name!!!). I've had friends tell me I can get CS based on what he COULD be making...is that true?

 

[VeronicaGia]

You can ask the judge to order him to provide his tax returns (including from the last three years), bank account statements, and anything else required from a self-employed person. Most states will allow one to impute income based on ability to earn. At this point, he's shown he can earn $30k/year.

 

[Kevmar44]

Thank you! I went to court last fall without an attorney due to the fact my ex "suddenly remembered" having spoke to another attorney in the same office and my attorney was removed due to conflict of interest 2 weeks before the court date! I couldn't find another attorney on such short notice and didn't think my ex had one either (he retained him the day before court!) so I wasn't prepared for what happened. If my ex offered to help in any other way I wouldn't be looking for reasons to nail him to the wall but he became a complete and total jerk after he met psycho woman and personally I feel it's money due my husband and me. Not to mention I paid for that college degree in more ways than one!!

 

[Swany]

I kind of have a similar situation with my ex. He's self employed and has claimed Chapter 13.....however, child support "before" he was bankrupt was based upon him saying that he would be making at least $21.00 a hr. He only sees them for a month at Christmas, Spring Break and every other Thanksgiving and Christmas....I think I got lucky when I got the $21.00 an hour deal....He even tried to hid his business claiming that he's be working for "such and such" company making "such and such" an hour....with a cap of "such and such..." Later we find out that it was his own business under his wifes name. Anyways, the Judge hardly flinched when she found that out believe it or not. I agree with what VeronicaGia said. Get yourself an attorney, take him to court and see if you can get that information, cause you know darn well he's making some money here....

 

[Kevmar44]

My situation is like yours in the fact that I'm pretty sure everything is in the wife's name. My ex filed bankruptcy shortly after we divorced so right now he doesn't have a thing in his name. The house was given to her by her 2nd ex husband and both vehicles were purchased after he filed so I know they are in her name. I just know he quit his job to start this BS business so he wouldn't have to pay child support. That is why he lied in court and told the judge he was just thinking about starting his own business when in reality he'd been doing it for 6 months or more. He wanted it to look like he was poor as a church mouse. In the mean time they have her $300,000+ home on the market and told my son they are looking to buy a "ranch" so they could buy some horses!!! I understand that is "her" money but this business is his in the sense that she has another job somewhere else and he has to be making some kind of money. And if he can only afford to pay $27.00 a week in child support and not give a dime for his half of extra expenses, that SOB isn't going to be buying any freakn' horses any time soon if I can help it!!!

 

[djohnson]

As a parent and a step parent, and a wife who owns 100% of the shares of the corporation her husband works for, you are going to have a hard time. I understand bio parents need support to help with the kids, however, the other bio parent has a right to a life also. He shouldn't be having to pay out the butt just because you don't make more money that him. It's that were made in life. You should be aware of all the consequences when you make them. Step parents are no party to a custody or support order. What gets me is the people that don't want them to be a party to custody, but all of sudden remembers them when it's time for money. Your case may not be that bad, but remember how many vengeful, selfish 1st wives are out there that will never let it end. We make sure my step son is taken care of, give him plenty of extras, and if needed to his custodian. But we will not be taken back to court and raked over the coals just because somebody doesn't want to work a 40hour a week (or more) job like we do. I don't mean to be harsh, but there is two sides to every story.

 

[haiku]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?Ohio
My ex is somewhat newly self employed (a year and a half). When we went to court last fall he lied and said he was just "thinking" about starting his own business (even though he had been doing it for 6 months) and cried poor mouth. They based his child support on miniumum wage and then lowered it more when he had to provide health insurance (that I know didn't personally cost them a dime because they already had a family policy). I get $27 a week from him. How can I monitor his income to make sure his child support is increased with his income? My son is 13 and lives with me for the school year and with his dad for the summer. He does not pay his required half of anything. He owes me over $500 in pharmacy bills, $130 for a class trip from last year that he agreed to pay for in the court room....I could go on but you get the point. He voluntarily paid me child support for three years while we were separated and then I didn't receive a dime for three years after that because I stupidly believed him when he told me he would continue to pay me child support if I kept it out of the paper work because they were going to charge him $12 a month just to take it out! But that was before the new g/f stb wife came into the picture and she put a stop to that in a heart beat. He quit a $30,000+ a year job to start this new lawn mowing, flyer printing business of his and is sitting on a college degree (that I had to pay for through a loan in my name!!!). I've had friends tell me I can get CS based on what he COULD be making...is that true?

Do as Veronica Gia said, you want his tax records for the past 3 years. Bank statements etc...

At this point, because there hasn't been enough time for an automatic review, (usually every 3 years) you would need to prove that he has had a substantial increase in income (usually 20%).

If the medical bills are court ordered that he pay half, and the school bill was put into the court order (not just verbal) gather up your proof of payment and take him to court for contempt.

It is common to lower the support, for medical, even if it is a family policy, but normally it would only be for your sons portion of the family cost. But it is expected that the payer show proof in court of the family cost. The court then divides the cost by the number of family members on the policy. (you want to check to see what the amount is)

Now normally as a self employed person, and a step mom I would say, what his wife makes is none of your business. My husband and I work darn hard for our livelyhood, and am not giving it over to the ex, but the difference is, my kids want for nothing, we pay what we are supposed to pay, and more (especially this year, were the ex to go for a mod, she would likely get a substantial decrease!) but there is a possibility, if dad is not living up to a potential he used to have, and COULD still have (I emphasize could, because my husband made alot more money when he was married, than after the divorce due to the economy and health issues, and thankfully the court has always taken that into consideration.) That you may be able to prove he is living off of her income, thereby freeing up more of his income for child support purposes. but as I said you would need to prove he was employable. Though you may find going back to court, his income may have improved enough anyway.

 

[Kevmar44]

Yes there are two sides to every story and if you knew my ex's side you would know that it isn't any different than what I've told you. But then again all he does is lie so he'll tell you exactely what he wanted you to hear. So before you go labeling me the money grubbing ex wife, the truth is, he agreed to continue to pay me child support after our divorce so I would leave it out of the paperwork and then went back on his word and I didn't receive a freak'n PENNY for over THREE YEARS. So just exactely where do you think HIS responsibility lies in all of that? So while my husband and I were struggling to support our 3 kids to their NONE, my ex was pocketing his $30,000+ a year salary (while my husband and I had both lost our jobs and were making less than that put together) without even paying his half of my son's pharmacy bills which were over $100 a month. So I would say my ex husband has his "LIFE". I don't give a rats a** about that wench he is married to or any of the money she got from screwing two married men and breaking up their marriages, but by GOD my ex WILL be responsible for the money he should HAVE to pay for HIS child. And for the record I make MORE than my ex does because I didn't LIE about my income or hide behind anyone or anything. And my husband already has two children of his own to take care of and I don't feel it's his responsiblity to take care of my ex husbands child just because he's a piece of s**t liar married to a selfish psycho b*tch who cares more about herself than my son. We don't have this problem with my husbands ex's wife because we ALL know the kids come first. It's my ex husband and his wife that are screwed up about that. I knew MY responsibilities going into this, it just a shame that my ex doesn't. I provide for my son above and beyond while my ex sits back and lies to anyone and everyone that will listen. And I'm sorry, but I don't think asking for more than $104 A MONTH is being unreasonable or selfish when he is making more and lying about his income to avoid having to pay child support. It's not like I'm taking food and play money from him. It's my husband and I that have been doing that using OUR food and play money for my ex husbands responsibilities. You see this how ever you want but until you've lived it, I don't care what you think.

 

[djohnson]

Most of us have lived it and lived both sides of it. You sound biter. Her money isn't his, I agree what you are getting is minimal and should be more, but if it's what he is showing making, then that's it. If he filed bankruptcy then he (nor she or she would bail him out) are doing that great. Does your husband up his child support everytime he gets a raise? You make it sound like it all boils down to money and not what is best for the child.

 

[Kevmar44]

It's not all about money and I've never said that it was. As a matter of fact my ex's husbands actions prove what being "all about money" means! This is about responsibility towards our child and he is not living up to his. He lies about his income so he doesn't have to pay what he is responsible for and then turns around and doesn't pay his court ordered 50% of anything else. He drives a brand new truck and wears nothing but designer clothes and shoes while they shop for clothes and shoes at the second hand store for my son!!! And my husband doesn't pay child support, he gets it. He has never asked for an increase nor will he and he agreed to a lower amount than the court was going to order her to pay to start with. And when ever she needs money he is the first to offer it to her along with making sure all the kids needs are met when they are at our house or hers. My ex gave up his son for the school year because he didn't want to have to pay half of the endless needs that school kids have. I buy all the school supplies, clothes, pictures, extra curricular activities, you name it. I not bitter, I'm honest. And my ex was too before my ex met this pyscho. He was a man AND a good father. Now he's a cheese dick. And I'm not going after all his money, I'm going after what I feel MY SON deserves, what he should HAVE to pay. And if the money is a little tight for him, oh well...he lived like a king for three years, let him see what life on the other side of the courtyard is like for a while!

 

[djohnson]

If it's for the kids and they deserve it then why isn't your husband going for all he can get for his kids sake? Is his kids not worth as much?

I understand what you are saying, and agree to a point, just trying to point out that the way you come across is very bitter and vindictive. What you want for one doesn't apply to all, just your ex.

 

[Swany]

If it makes you feel any better, Kevmar44, I heard all that you're saying. I can relate 100% and more. Yes, your children "deserve" more....they deserve a dad that cares - that's responsible for his children. $27 a week is pitiful. Basically $100 a month. That's barely 1 week worth of groceries. We are having to sell one of our cars - it will lower insurance and give us another $400 a month to help cover all that comes along with raising children. I work full-time, my husband works full-time and my ex works when he "feels" like it - as you know he's self-employed and can cry "poor" anytime he feels even if he's not. All those guys know how to work the system and they do, thinking that we're just going to let them go. So I had a choice to let me ex to continue to NOT pay and cry poor - Chapter 13 etc. or take him to court. I chose court. And with all our history, which I know you must have as well, the Judge will see that he's hiding his income and can pay SOMETHING....but even $27 a week is pretty bad. I don't remember why you said it's so low, but for whatever reason, take him to court and ask the Judge to let you receive some sort of proof of what he makes. It's going to take some $ on your part to get this done though. Anyways, good luck...

 

[Kevmar44]

I'm not sure what my husband gets from his ex has to do with any of this. SHE didn't lie about her income. SHE didn't promise to pay child support and then go back on her word. They get along, why rock the boat? But the reason my husband agreed to the lesser amount was because he got what he wanted. He got custody of his kids, his house and she was G-O-N-E gone! And he did this AFTER they had both agreed to who got what in the house and the day before court when he left for work she backed a U-Haul to the front door and literally CLEANED HIM OUT! He told me his house looked like the night the Grinch stole Christmas. She took all the kids clothes, their beds, the dishes, the food, the shower curtain, soap, shampoo AND toilet paper. She even took the phone off the wall so he couldn't even call his parents to tell them what happened! But in the end he got what he wanted.

I on the other hand gave my ex a hug and a kiss and we both shed some tears when we left the court house. We had been friends and walked away as friends and still had keys to each others houses because we shared anything that our son had. During the 3 years we were separated I gave him $1,500 to pay off a DUI fine, I bought clothes for our son to keep at his house, I bought groceries. We had birthday partys, 1st Communion Party, New Years Eve partys together. 6 months before our divorce was final we took a weeks vacation together to Colorado. And all of that changed when I didn't welcome his new girl friend into his life with open arms. Over night I became super b*tch, someone he was no longer allowed to speak to let alone pay child support to! And then he turns around and tells our son that if push came to shove he would choose her over him and that "she" comes first! I'm sure I am a little bitter but more than anything I am disappointed that I had faith and believed in my ex to keep his word, not turn into some piece of s**t liar because of some lowlife, insecure wench who wasn't going to play second fiddle to anyone, but most of all our son! During this time I also lost my/our house to forclosure because he filed contempt charges against me because I didn't put it on the market fast enough for him - even though he refused to speak to me about it, refused to work with my realtor or to help me get it ready to sell and because he wasn't giving me any child support I couldn't afford to make the house payment! To top it off they go to the church I grew up in multiple times a week and act the hypocrite to anyone that will believe them!

I never said I felt this should apply to everyone, just in my ex's case. And I feel he more than deserves it. I came here asking what my options were concerning keeping track of his income so my son gets what he deserves.

For the record, my husband is the model ex-husband. It's what my ex was before he let that wench tell him that he was being "too nice" to me!

 

[djohnson]

I'm not sure what my husband gets from his ex has to do with any of this. SHE didn't lie about her income. SHE didn't promise to pay child support and then go back on her word. They get along, why rock the boat? But the reason my husband agreed to the lesser amount was because he got what he wanted. He got custody of his kids, his house and she was G-O-N-E gone! And he did this AFTER they had both agreed to who got what in the house and the day before court when he left for work she backed a U-Haul to the front door and literally CLEANED HIM OUT! He told me his house looked like the night the Grinch stole Christmas. She took all the kids clothes, their beds, the dishes, the food, the shower curtain, soap, shampoo AND toilet paper. She even took the phone off the wall so he couldn't even call his parents to tell them what happened! But in the end he got what he wanted.

I on the other hand gave my ex a hug and a kiss and we both shed some tears when we left the court house. We had been friends and walked away as friends and still had keys to each others houses because we shared anything that our son had. During the 3 years we were separated I gave him $1,500 to pay off a DUI fine, I bought clothes for our son to keep at his house, I bought groceries. We had birthday partys, 1st Communion Party, New Years Eve partys together. 6 months before our divorce was final we took a weeks vacation together to Colorado. And all of that changed when I didn't welcome his new girl friend into his life with open arms. Over night I became super b*tch, someone he was no longer allowed to speak to let alone pay child support to! And then he turns around and tells our son that if push came to shove he would choose her over him and that "she" comes first! I'm sure I am a little bitter but more than anything I am disappointed that I had faith and believed in my ex to keep his word, not turn into some piece of s**t liar because of some lowlife, insecure wench who wasn't going to play second fiddle to anyone, but most of all our son! During this time I also lost my/our house to forclosure because he filed contempt charges against me because I didn't put it on the market fast enough for him - even though he refused to speak to me about it, refused to work with my realtor or to help me get it ready to sell and because he wasn't giving me any child support I couldn't afford to make the house payment! To top it off they go to the church I grew up in multiple times a week and act the hypocrite to anyone that will believe them!

I never said I felt this should apply to everyone, just in my ex's case. And I feel he more than deserves it. I came here asking what my options were concerning keeping track of his income so my son gets what he deserves.

For the record, my husband is the model ex-husband. It's what my ex was before he let that wench tell him that he was being "too nice" to me!

I think that may be my problem with it. You only want it to apply in your ex's case and not for everyone. Not every child deserves the most, just YOUR ex deserves to have to pay more. Why doesn't everything you say for your spouse's ex apply to you? You also should be happy you got custody, and left better than he did. It doesn't matter, it's just that because of your differences in opinion based WHO it is, and not the situation, makes it sound like it's not for child. If you are that strapped financially, why not let him take his ex to court also? With two kids instead of just one, it would obviously help out better financially.

 

[Kevmar44]

Why in the world would we take HER back to court because my ex is lying about HIS income? She pays more per child for her children now than my ex does! Why would we want to, without question, ruin a perfectly good relationship with her because MY EX is an a-hole? How stupid is that?

You say you take care of your step kids but is it in child support? Or do you hide your husbands income from his ex too because you are afraid SHE will get the money? We don't "blow" the child support on fun and games. We can't account for every penny but you can bet your bottom dollar we spend out more than we get on the kids.

And for the record I happen to know my ex doesn't work his butt off but my husband and I do! My husband takes every minute of overtime offered to him and I have 2 side jobs just so we can have the extra money to take my son to an amusement park because his dad won't do it because the wife doesn't like to go! And God forbid my son need braces or anything else along that line, he refuses to pay for the glasses he has to have right now! HE doesn't understand why he needs a new pair after a year!!!!!! College? Yeah, right! When he turns 16 and can drive? A car? Insurance? The won't provide a dime of help in anything of those areas. I'm not asking for my ex to provide "the most" for his son, I want him to pay what is FAIR and his $27 a week doesn't come close. And his ZERO dollars to pay HIS HALF of pharmacy bills, school trips, school supplies obviously wont' even buy me a freak'n cup of coffee!

You act like I'm expecting my ex to live in the streets so I can have all his money. WRONG. I want what he is capable of paying WITHOUT LYING ABOUT IT!. That is called cheating the system. He's also cheating the IRS which is against the law.