Will lack of child support order for older children be brought up in new divorce?

[kismet60]

I don't have a child support or custody order in place for my older two children because they have no relationship with their father and until recently he was incarcerated. My current husband and I will be getting a divorce and he has no issue with paying support for the child we have together. Will the issue of the other children not receiving support be brought up in our divorce? I don't want to get child support from their father because I fear he may resort to violence if I do. I live in Virginia.

 

[Zigner]

I don't have a child support or custody order in place for my older two children because they have no relationship with their father and until recently he was incarcerated. My current husband and I will be getting a divorce and he has no issue with paying support for the child we have together. Will the issue of the other children not receiving support be brought up in our divorce? I don't want to get child support from their father because I fear he may resort to violence if I do. I live in Virginia.

We can't answer as to whether or not your husband will try to bring it up, but I can't see it having any bearing on the matter.

 

[wavehopper27]

Child support only becomes mandatory if you go on state assistance.

 

[Zigner]

Child support only becomes mandatory if you go on state assistance.

I don't think that's what the OP was asking about. The OP is concerned that she'll get less money from her current husband because she "should" be getting CS for the other two kids.

 

[wavehopper27]

I just wanted the OP to know that receiving child support from either of her kids' dads is optional on her part unless she goes on public assistance in which the state will require it. If she stays off welfare then there is no requirement that she pursue child support from anyone.

 

[kismet60]

Thanks for the replies.

My real concern was not that my husband would try to pay less....he is actually willing to pay more to help support the older children without being ordered to. My concern was that a lawyer or judge would force me to pursue child support from somebody that I don't want in my life in any way. Thank you for your responses.

 

[Proserpina]

My real concern was not that my husband would try to pay less....he is actually willing to pay more to help support the older children without being ordered to. My concern was that a lawyer or judge would force me to pursue child support from somebody that I don't want in my life in any way. Thank you for your responses.

No, he won't be able to use that against you.

The court will not force you to file for child support from the other father/s, and an attorney has no power to force you to do anything.

 

[Eekamouse]

My real concern was not that my husband would try to pay less....he is actually willing to pay more to help support the older children without being ordered to. My concern was that a lawyer or judge would force me to pursue child support from somebody that I don't want in my life in any way. Thank you for your responses.

He won't be ordered to. They aren't his kids. Your older kids should be supported by their biological father. If your STBX feels the need to pay extra to help pay for your older kids, then you obviously can't afford to pay for your older kids all by yourself and should pursue child support from their father.

 

[Just Blue]

He won't be ordered to. They aren't his kids. Your older kids should be supported by their biological father. If your STBX feels the need to pay extra to help pay for your older kids, then you obviously can't afford to pay for your older kids all by yourself and should pursue child support from their father.

I agree...But I can understand, per OP comments regarding the older children father, why she would not. And sometimes (often) EX-Steps love those kiddo as they do their own.

 

[kismet60]

I agree...But I can understand, per OP comments regarding the older children father, why she would not. And sometimes (often) EX-Steps love those kiddo as they do their own.

Thank you for this. The older children's father (whom I was never married to) was incarcerated for, among other things, threatening me with a hammer because I was on a date with another man.

 

[Just Blue]

Thank you for this. The older children's father (whom I was never married to) was incarcerated for, among other things, threatening me with a hammer because I was on a date with another man.

Were you "together" at the time? (not that it makes it "okay" )

 

[kismet60]

Were you "together" at the time? (not that it makes it "okay" )

No, we were not together at the time. He also stole a car and crashed it into another car during his getaway. He ended up serving seven years in prison for the incident because he was already on probation for earlier violations. While incarcerated he wrote constantly about wanting to resume his relationship with me and my older children. My only response to his letters was to send him current pictures of them. Upon his release May 2015 he has ignored us completely and that is the way I would like it to stay for their sake.

 

[eerelations]

He won't be ordered to. They aren't his kids. Your older kids should be supported by their biological father. If your STBX feels the need to pay extra to help pay for your older kids, then you obviously can't afford to pay for your older kids all by yourself and should pursue child support from their father.

Maybe the older kids should[I][/I] be supported by their bio dad, but not at the risk of bio mom getting killed.

And she certainly might be able to support the older kids on her own, she has never indicated otherwise. All she has said is that STBX wants to pay extra support for the older kids...it is perfectly within the realm of possibility that this desire is a result of his affection for said older kids.

 

[Just Blue]

No, we were not together at the time. He also stole a car and crashed it into another car during his getaway. He ended up serving seven years in prison for the incident because he was already on probation for earlier violations. While incarcerated he wrote constantly about wanting to resume his relationship with me and my older children. My only response to his letters was to send him current pictures of them. Upon his release May 2015 he has ignored us completely and that is the way I would like it to stay for their sake.

Can't say that I blame you.