Can My Ex Boyfriend Sue Me For This

[Funnyfox]

California

In March of 2014 I moved from where I was located to go to school 4 hours away. The person I was dating/sort of seeing at the time wanted to help me financially so I could focus on my studies. He surprised me one week before I moved with a credit card he got for me (he ordered a card with my name on it) that he said I could use for my expenses. Gas food and anything else I would need. There was no agreement made to pay him back. No signed documents. He said he was doing it because he loved me and wanted to help me. So, believing him, I accepted his generous gift of financial aide.

Fast forward a year and I've graduated from school. I was sincerely planning on moving home, but life happens, things change and people fall in and out of love every day. Some good opportunities came up for me in the area I now live, and I decided to take them. I broke up with my now ex. Now he is really upset and threatening to sue me for the money I spent on that card (15,000 over a year). He wrote me a letter in the mail saying I need to move home and that he has legal grounds to sue me because I promised I would move home. He said I need to move home and start a life with him, otherwise be prepared to pay him back all the money he spent on me. Well, I was fully intending on moving home until I got some good opportunities. I suppose I understand that he probably feels used. But I really did love him and was myself very hurt about the breakup.

Now I'm really fearful that he is going to take me to court. I know he has texts messages from me stating my intentions to move home. But I also told him immediately when I decided I wasn't moving home. He is claiming those texts are "legally binding documents." I also have a text from him saying "it is financial aide and I wouldn't come after you." That he wrote several months ago.

I feel like this is some sick sort of extortion. I blocked his number and he is still managing to contact me.

What do I do

 

[Ohiogal]

It is not extortion and he can sue you. Whether he wins depends on a variety of things.

 

[single317dad]

California

In March of 2014 I moved from where I was located to go to school 4 hours away. The person I was dating/sort of seeing at the time wanted to help me financially so I could focus on my studies. He surprised me one week before I moved with a credit card he got for me (he ordered a card with my name on it) that he said I could use for my expenses. Gas food and anything else I would need. There was no agreement made to pay him back. No signed documents. He said he was doing it because he loved me and wanted to help me. So, believing him, I accepted his generous gift of financial aide.

Fast forward a year and I've graduated from school. I was sincerely planning on moving home, but life happens, things change and people fall in and out of love every day. Some good opportunities came up for me in the area I now live, and I decided to take them. I broke up with my now ex. Now he is really upset and threatening to sue me for the money I spent on that card (15,000 over a year). He wrote me a letter in the mail saying I need to move home and that he has legal grounds to sue me because I promised I would move home. He said I need to move home and start a life with him, otherwise be prepared to pay him back all the money he spent on me. Well, I was fully intending on moving home until I got some good opportunities. I suppose I understand that he probably feels used. But I really did love him and was myself very hurt about the breakup.

Now I'm really fearful that he is going to take me to court. I know he has texts messages from me stating my intentions to move home. But I also told him immediately when I decided I wasn't moving home. He is claiming those texts are "legally binding documents." I also have a text from him saying "it is financial aide and I wouldn't come after you." That he wrote several months ago.

I feel like this is some sick sort of extortion. I blocked his number and he is still managing to contact me.

What do I do

While your ex may have a case against you for repayment of the money you spent, the reasoning he's using is not going to win him anything. The reason you should repay the money is because you spent the money, it was to your sole benefit, and the moral thing to do is to pay the bill. The fact that you made him some romantic promises is irrelevant.

 

[Paul84]

It is not extortion and he can sue you. Whether he wins depends on a variety of things.

Am curious, Ohiogal: on what grounds could the ex-boyfriend sue? How is it different from a fiancee calling off a wedding and not returning a diamond engagement ring? Presumably both are gifts ...

 

[Zigner]

Am curious, Ohiogal: on what grounds could the ex-boyfriend sue? How is it different from a fiancee calling off a wedding and not returning a diamond engagement ring? Presumably both are gifts ...

Presumably...

 

[Paul84]

Presumably...

Without some sort of written contract, even an oral agreement of repayment in the event of X has about as much worth as the paper it's not written on (unless there's a witness ...). Legal eagles, please correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[Funnyfox]

Thanks for your help. Marriage was never discussed and in fact knew my aversions to it. I guess what I want to know is can text messages be used in a civil case and what weight do they hold. And he has also offered my father money for his business if I stay with him. He is trying to buy my love and affections as well as my families. It's super strange.

he has said flat out he will not sue me if I move home and be romantic with him. I have that in a hand written letter form. This is obviously not so much about the money more than it is him having power over me to be with him out of fear.

Even after I sat him down and broke up with him he STILL continued to make deposits for me in my bank account from out of town.

I have recently changed my accounts.

This is messy

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks for your help. Marriage was never discussed and in fact knew my aversions to it. I guess what I want to know is can text messages be used in a civil case and what weight do they hold. And he has also offered my father money for his business if I stay with him. He is trying to buy my love and affections as well as my families. It's super strange.

he has said flat out he will not sue me if I move home and be romantic with him. I have that in a hand written letter form. This is obviously not so much about the money more than it is him having power over me to be with him out of fear.

Even after I sat him down and broke up with him he STILL continued to make deposits for me in my bank account from out of town.

I have recently changed my accounts.

This is messy

Do not lose that letter. Keep it in a safe place. Other than that, I would suggest that you change your phone number and ask your family to avoid contact with him. He sounds seriously creepy.

If he sues you, he sues you.

 

[TheGeekess]

Without some sort of written contract, even an oral agreement of repayment in the event of X has about as much worth as the paper it's not written on (unless there's a witness ...). Legal eagles, please correct me if I'm wrong.

I could sue you for breathing air. I'd have to prove some kind of damages because you breathe air, but I could still sue you for it.

 

[Paul84]

Thanks for your help. Marriage was never discussed and in fact knew my aversions to it. I guess what I want to know is can text messages be used in a civil case and what weight do they hold. And he has also offered my father money for his business if I stay with him. He is trying to buy my love and affections as well as my families. It's super strange.

he has said flat out he will not sue me if I move home and be romantic with him. I have that in a hand written letter form. This is obviously not so much about the money more than it is him having power over me to be with him out of fear.

Even after I sat him down and broke up with him he STILL continued to make deposits for me in my bank account from out of town.

I have recently changed my accounts.

This is messy

Funnyfox,
Although I'm a litigant pro se (proceeding on my own without a lawyer), if this guy sues you, I suggest you hire a lawyer because it sounds as if any lawsuit from him would be without merit (i.e. frivolous), and such lawsuits are one of the few exceptions in the U.S. where you can recover your legal fees from the losing plaintiff. Alternatively, if you don't mind spending $100-200, you could have a lawyer send him a letter on legal stationery outlining the consequences of (a) his filing suit and (b) his failure to stop harassing you.

 

[latigo]

I could sue you for breathing air. I'd have to prove some kind of damages because you breathe air, but I could still sue you for it.

If the ex boyfriend were to plead and sustain a judicable claim, the consequential damages would be obvious.

Incidentally, breathless, regarding the "offense" over which you claim you could litigate:

It seems as if you've never heard of a "Rule 11" (here CA CPD 128.7) the "malicious prosecution" of frivolous and unwarranted lawsuits, the term "real party in interest", a demurrer, Rule 12(b)(6). OR, equally foolish, a counterclaim.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Which is precisely why TG added the qualifier.

 

[Funnyfox]

If the ex boyfriend were to plead and sustain a judicable claim, the consequential damages would be obvious.

Incidentally, breathless, regarding the "offense" over which you claim you could litigate:

It seems as if you've never heard of a "Rule 11" (here CA CPD 128.7) the "malicious prosecution" of frivolous and unwarranted lawsuits, the term "real party in interest", a demurrer, Rule 12(b)(6). OR, equally foolish, a counterclaim.

I don't really understand what this means 😓.

I am all for the idea of paying a lawyer to write a letter Paul, but I would like to know what timing I should do this on. I'm still holding out hope that these are "scare tactics" to persuade me to move home and that he will cool down. I don't want to "cast the first stone" so to say and in doing so fan the fire.

 

[LdiJ]

I don't really understand what this means .

I am all for the idea of paying a lawyer to write a letter Paul, but I would like to know what timing I should do this on. I'm still holding out hope that these are "scare tactics" to persuade me to move home and that he will cool down. I don't want to "cast the first stone" so to say and in doing so fan the fire.

At this point your best bet is to change your phone number and ignore him.

 

[Silverplum]

Wow.

When I was 18, I turned down a gift of diamond earrings (so cutely tiny ) from a very nice boyfriend because I knew he cared more for me than I did for him, and that I was going to leave him behind to go to college in six months. I guess I could have taken them and worn them and kept them, but I knew that would be unkind and, essentially, wrong to do. I told him the truth and had to deal with the consequences.

I can't imagine pulling this trick. Sleep well, poster.