Advice Requested

[screwedspouse]

What is the name of your state? ohioundefined

My wayward spouse wants a divorce to "find himself". I found him with the town whore. He is in the military. Military can relieve him of duty with charges of adultery (which he deserves) I understand that since we have been married for almost 30 years I get half of his pension. He tells me if I divorce him with the grounds of adultery that he gets nothing and I would get half of nothing. He is forging my name to documents and cashing in investments and making loans on join accounts without my permission. I have given him room to "find himself" but don't want to find myself without anything. I have given up my whole life to follow him around and raise our children.
1. Where do I begin to protect myself? I have given him the opportunity to dump the whore, which he did, but then she weasles herself back into his bed. Now I have an STD from them.
2. How do I get him to see that I get 1/2 of everything Plus I will file for spousal support for the years I followed him and put my career on hold.
3. Can I file for reimbursement during the divorce for the money he spent on her? The gifts he bought her on our credit cards? 1/2 of the investments he cashed in? It appears he is giving her $800 of our joint funds, can I go after 1/2?
4. Can I file for seperation to stop all of the money flow to the girlfriend?

Thank you!

 

[bulldogg70]

Wow, this is an unfortunate case. It is amazing that you two stayed together for 30 years in the military, it is truly amazing, sorry to hear of the demise at the end of the career. I talk about the 30 years as if he did something great but make no mistake about it, you had an amazing 30 years supporting your man. I know the military game, I can’t believe how much opportunity there is there for men to go wild, but it happens all over the place.
Anyway, I truly would not go after him in a military court for what he did, it would be a disgrace to your 30 years of service also. I would immediately file for separation, or divorce and I would as the court to stop him from making any new loans or financial benefits without your approval. In regards to the whore, she will always be there as long as the benefit is there. In regards to the STD, I am not a doctor but I heard that you should see one so that he/she can give you something to stop the STD from doing damage to your body. I believe if you want to go down the lawyer route he/she will know how to get half of all his stuff including SM, which it appears you would get some and of course your attorney will ask for all attorney fee’s to be paid by him

 

[screwedspouse]

Bulldog:

What is SM?

Also, I was medically treaded for the STD, that is why I am so irrate. He is my only sexual partner for my whole life, so obviously it came from him. Can I file Sexual Battery charges as some attorney told me I could?

I will not be a gracious to leave him out of military court. He is a disgrace. I took him back, celebrated the BIG 30 on a BIG Cruise and ended up with shame and horror of an STD. He used me and continued to use me.

Do courts grant spousal support these days? I am just a little too young to retire.

Where do I start my search for a good attorney?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

If you sue for Adultery, he will lose his mlitary retirement, so will you, as it is a violation of UCMJ, there are other grounds you can use.
Here are the OHIO divorce laws.
Ohio Divorce Laws

Ohio Divorce Residency Requirements

To file for an Ohio divorce, the spouse filing for divorce must have been a State resident for at least six months and a resident of the county for at least ninety days immediately prior to filing.

Ohio Divorce Grounds

The grounds for an Ohio divorce are:
* incompatibility, unless denied by the other spouse;
* living separate and apart without cohabitation and without interruption for 1 year;
* adultery;
* imprisonment;
* willful desertion for 1 year;
* cruel and inhuman treatment;
* bigamy;
* habitual intemperance (drunkenness);
* when a final divorce decree has been obtained outside of the state of Ohio that does not release the other spouse from the obligations of the marriage inside the state of Ohio;
* fraud; and
* neglect.

Joint Ohio Divorce Procedure

Both spouses may file a joint petition for an Ohio divorce. The petition must be signed by both parties and have attached to it a separation agreement which provides for the division of all property, spousal support, child support, custody and visitation. Within 30 to 90 days after filing the Petition, the parties must appear in Court. They will each be required to state under oath that they voluntarily signed the agreement, are satisfied with the agreement; and are seeking a dissolution of the marriage.

Ohio Alimony Laws

Ohio alimony or spousal support may be awarded to either party based upon the following factors:

* whether the spouse seeking support is the custodian of a child whose condition or circumstances make it appropriate for that spouse not to seek outside employment;
* the earning ability of both spouses;
* the income of both spouses, including marital property apportioned to each spouse and each spouse's ability to meet his or her needs independently;
* the needs and obligations of each spouse;
* the contribution of each spouse to the education, earning ability, and career building of the other spouse, including the spouse's contribution to the earning of a professional degree by the other spouse;
* the age of the spouses;
* the physical, mental, and emotional conditions of the spouses;
* the relative assets and liabilities of the spouses, including any court-ordered payments;
* the educational level of each spouse at the time of the marriage and at the time the action for support is commenced;
* the standard of living during the marriage;
* any pension or retirement benefits of either spouse;
* the duration of the marriage;
* the tax consequences of the award;
* the time and expense necessary for the spouse seeking support to acquire education, training, or job experience to obtain appropriate employment;
* the lost income producing capacity of either spouse resulting from marital responsibilities;
* any other relevant factor.

Ohio Property Division Laws

In an Ohio divorce, each party will be entitled to retain his or her separate property, including gifts, inheritances, property acquired prior to the marriage, income or appreciation of separate property, and individual personal injury awards. All marital property will be equally divided in an Ohio divorce based on the following:

* the desirability of awarding the family home, or right to reside in it, to the spouse with custody of the children;
* the liquidity of the property to be distributed;
* the financial resources of both spouses;
* the economic desirability of retaining an asset intact;
* the tax consequences of the division;
* the duration of the marriage;
* the costs of any sale of an asset, if a sale is necessary for division purposes;
* any division made in a separation agreement; and
* any other relevant factor. An unequal division will be permissible if an equal division is shown to be inequitable.

 

[stealth2]

If you sue for Adultery, he will lose his mlitary retirement, so will you, as it is a violation of UCMJ,

In other words, cutting off your nose to spite your face...

 

[screwedspouse]

He deserves nothing.

He is not going to ride off into retirement with the town whore to take my place in our family.

If I wait until he retires, then file what happens?

 

[newlywed03]

Most likely if you wait until he retires, there won't be anything left to take!! If he's already cleaning you out, do you really think he won't take it all? Get him out of your life as soon as possible.

 

[screwedspouse]

I've had enough.

Thursday (the day before pay day) he missed a child's event, took the last $100 out of the checking account. He said he "went out with the guys."

Saturday, while I was at work, someone put two matchbooks under my windshield wiper one was to a local bar, the other was for a hotel a couple of exits away. When I confronted him about the bar, he said yeah I was there. I didn't ask him about the hotel. I guess I already know. He has only 6 more months to retirement.

Do I ride it out and let him retire? (I will not have relations with him)

How do I find an attorney who won't buckle to him? & one that understands military law.

What do I ask for besides 1/2 of everthing?

Can I get Spousal Support?

Someone before mentioned SM, what the heck is that?

Our 4th child graduates from high school this June, so custody won't be an issue.

 

[cyana24]

SM = Spousal maintenance, another term for Alimony or Spousal Support.

 

[bulldogg70]

I've had enough.

Thursday (the day before pay day) he missed a child's event, took the last $100 out of the checking account. He said he "went out with the guys."

Saturday, while I was at work, someone put two matchbooks under my windshield wiper one was to a local bar, the other was for a hotel a couple of exits away. When I confronted him about the bar, he said yeah I was there. I didn't ask him about the hotel. I guess I already know. He has only 6 more months to retirement.

Do I ride it out and let him retire? (I will not have relations with him)

How do I find an attorney who won't buckle to him? & one that understands military law.

What do I ask for besides 1/2 of everthing?

Can I get Spousal Support?

Someone before mentioned SM, what the heck is that?

Our 4th child graduates from high school this June, so custody won't be an issue.

I would wait it out, you do not deserve to lose out on the alimony and pention plan taking him to military court... You also need to look out for your security. It appears they have a bar option on this site to contact a lawyer, have at it.

 

[screwedspouse]

As my doctor told me he couldn't find a trashier novel to read ***I hate having my life in the gutter and my mistake was 30 years ago &
I hate being victimized **it just ticks me off**I guess I am finally getting very angry.

How do I keep the girlfriend from leaving things on my car, calling my house, etc.? (P.S. She has also slept with two of our city police officers *so I have ruled out a peace bond.*) She denys it to my husband, but it has to be her.

I haven't told our kids yet, so I am afraid they will figure it out. I don't want to ruin my youngest child's senior year of high school. She is fragile.

Laugh of the day is that he doesn't want to "talk" about this or having to deal with any emotions. He just wants his car & boat and to walk away from the marriage with nothing accept his car & boat (both are financed) and NO debt or contact with any of us ever? How do I get him out of la-la land?

If I file for seperation is it listed in the papers? Is it a matter of public record?