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  1. #1
    alilflsun is offline Member
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    Unhappy please help is there hope for unfair divorce?

    What is the name of your state? i live in west central florida. i just went through a bad divorce and have just realized i got nothing out of it but my three kids. he cleaned out my acct which he never used just because he could then filed for divorce. with no money and little time i got what was said to be the best lawyer in town. now that i read my divorce it says we have joint cust although i raise them, he lied about income so i get 500 a mo for three kids, he lied about not having a car so i have to drive to him to drop off the kids even though i had a restraining order, i have to pay all the ins and still half the medical and dental bills, i have to pay for any travel expences for him and the kids if i move out of state and he left me with a house thats falling apart even though he was to get it and give me money to move. he is now remarried this fast and my kids are in this tornado with me. they dont understand why we have no money and their dad keeps saying he will take them from me for his wife to raise even though hes said several times he doesnt want them... what can i do to atleast make this fair. i dont want to get even, i just want it to get fair. is this possible? please help
  2. #2
    VeronicaGia is offline Senior Member
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    Re: please help is there hope for unfair divorce?

    Originally posted by alilflsun
    What is the name of your state? i live in west central florida. i just went through a bad divorce and have just realized i got nothing out of it but my three kids. he cleaned out my acct which he never used just because he could then filed for divorce. with no money and little time i got what was said to be the best lawyer in town. now that i read my divorce it says we have joint cust although i raise them, he lied about income so i get 500 a mo for three kids,

    **Likely since the papers say you and he have joint custody, this is why the support is at the level it is. If you are saying he's not seeing the kids, you can ask that the visitation order and support order be modified to reflect his true time share.

    he lied about not having a car so i have to drive to him to drop off the kids even though i had a restraining order, i have to pay all the ins and still half the medical and dental bills, i have to pay for any travel expences for him and the kids if i move out of state

    **The part about you moving out of state: You would probably have to pay these anyway. It is kind of standard that the person who moves pays.

    **Unfortunately you signed the papers, and unless you can prove a change in circumstances, you will have trouble getting them modified.

    and he left me with a house thats falling apart even though he was to get it and give me money to move. he is now remarried this fast and my kids are in this tornado with me. they dont understand why we have no money

    **Do you work? If not, why not?

    and their dad keeps saying he will take them from me for his wife to raise even though hes said several times he doesnt want them... what can i do to atleast make this fair. i dont want to get even, i just want it to get fair. is this possible? please help
    **At this point, your only hope is to try to modify the order in court.
  3. #3
    alilflsun is offline Member
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    thank you for your reply

    first as far as seeing the kids yes he does but only on weekends that accomodate him and his new wife. he refuses to take them on holiday weekends, summers, spring breaks or christmas vacations. so as far as joint custody it was just asked for so he could have control over me and the kids still. he calls hrs and the police on me for every little thing just out of spite which drives us crazy. the house issue is a big one for me since he can also use that as a reason to call child welfare on me. my car is also falling apart while he and his wife sit in a new home with 2002 vehicles.

    as far as working yes i do but earn only half of what he makes. especially since hes paid a lot under the table. i considered a part time job but i cant afford a sitter and if i left them alone that would be another way for them to report me.

    he even put in the papers that we have to sit at home on tuesdays thursday and sundays just to wait for his calls. this makes life miserable and limits what we can do when. most of the time he doesnt call on time or not at all.

    im responsible for all insurance plus half the bills plus daycare plus of course the everyday needed things for a hundred bucks a week. after i give him a child to claim on taxes i feel somehow i got screwed here. i dont know about anyone else but 100 dollars just doesnt even out.

    if i can go back to court to modify, due to his limited visitation, can i maybe fix other things at that time too?

    next time i get married i hope its to someone normal lol
    and noooo divorce, hes stuck with me

    thank you for your time
  4. #4
    VeronicaGia is offline Senior Member
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    The first thing you need to do is start a journal and start documenting. Every day, whether he is supposed to be there, call or not, make an entry in the journal. You can keep track of his visitation that way. once you have enough to prove to the court that the timeshare percent is not what is reflected in the order, you can go to court for a modification of visitation and support. Make sure that you ask the judge to put a time frame in the order for those days he's supposed to call, such as from 7:00 to 8:00 p.m. (or some other time that you are both available). If he doesn't call between those hours, he misses his call. Too bad for him.

    Realize, he could counter and say that he does exercise his visitation, and all you have is a journal. But he won't be able to lie his way out of it if he doesn't know you have the journal, and it will likely only work once. You will have something to back up each and every day of the children's lives.

    Is there some reason he doesn't visit when he should? Do you and he get along at all? Is it possible to talk to him in an adult manner about this, bringing up only what affect it has on the kids when they expect him and he doesn't show? In other words, a non-confrontational conversation adult-to-adult. If not, then you're left with no choice but a new court order.

    Also, would it be worth it to sell the house and buy something else, or rent a condo or apartment? I don't know if that's feasible for you, or if you like apartments. Just a though, and it will take all the upkeep costs and time away from the equation.
  5. #5
    alilflsun is offline Member
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    thank you again for your genius insight

    as far as why he doesnt see the kids, his new wife isnt excactly what you would call kid oriented. the two of them are used to coming and going as they please, which is a major reason for the divorce, and so kids just seem to put a damper on that behavior.

    since he moved into her house she says she doesnt have the space or time in order to have them there.

    we do try to talk civil although the immaturity gets the best of him at times. so we go up and down like rollercoasters most weeks

    i have started a journal and have even kept phone messages on the recorder he leaves. unfortunately i didnt start soon enough.

    maybe if i can find the means and the time i will go back to school and maybe become a lawyer and use his actions as my will power. would be nice.

    thank you again

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