Husband was picked up for DV and I need advice please.

[harris2010]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio
The last couple of months we have been under enormous stress. I wont get into why - I am sure you don't care - but we have never had stress like this before. Husband had been drinking - not toasted - but somewhat inebriated. We had a disagreement and he blew up. I have never seen him so angry and we have been together for over 16 years. He was yelling and screaming and threatening me. He didn't touch me or throw anything at me or get in my face. He did break a chair. He calmed somewhat down and went upstairs to the bedroom - leaving me downstairs.

The neighbors had called the police and shortly thereafter they showed up. They went upstairs and took him to jail. They arraigned him and let him out on his own reconnaissance. They told him to stay away from me. I did not fill out a report or ask for a order of protection.

I will be subpoenaed. I know I have to go - but do I have to say anything? Can I be found in contempt if I refuse to speak? I know what he did was wrong but everyone has a cracking point and he met his. He is already seeking counseling and is truly ashamed and embarrassed by his behavior. What are the chance to get this dismissed. He has no prior record of any kind besides 1 speeding ticket.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio
The last couple of months we have been under enormous stress. I wont get into why - I am sure you don't care - but we have never had stress like this before. Husband had been drinking - not toasted - but somewhat inebriated. We had a disagreement and he blew up. I have never seen him so angry and we have been together for over 16 years. He was yelling and screaming and threatening me. He didn't touch me or throw anything at me or get in my face. He did break a chair. He calmed somewhat down and went upstairs to the bedroom - leaving me downstairs.

The neighbors had called the police and shortly thereafter they showed up. They went upstairs and took him to jail. They arraigned him and let him out on his own reconnaissance. They told him to stay away from me. I did not fill out a report or ask for a order of protection.


I will be subpoenaed. I know I have to go - but do I have to say anything? Can I be found in contempt if I refuse to speak? I know what he did was wrong but everyone has a cracking point and he met his. He is already seeking counseling and is truly ashamed and embarrassed by his behavior. What are the chance to get this dismissed. He has no prior record of any kind besides 1 speeding ticket.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

if your husband is TRUELY remorseful, then you will not try to hide his actions but be forthcoming with them.

he needs to follow the restraining order, attend anger management, and IF the order is lifted conditionally, you need to help yourself by helping him not break the order.

this is NOT appropriate behavior. at all. do not gloss it over.

 

[CdwJava]

Can I be found in contempt if I refuse to speak?

Yes, you can.

I know what he did was wrong but everyone has a cracking point and he met his.

Maybe he needs some anger management, and maybe the twop of you need some counseling. If this is how you two handle stress and anger, some alternatives would be a good idea.

I'm a little confused as to the charges he was arrested for ... he was arrested for breaking his own chair? Or, was there some other offense? Do you know the specific code section under which he was arrested or charged?

 

[harris2010]

That the thing - he has NEVER displayed behaviour like this before. He is seeking anger management counseling and we will go to family counseling as well once we can be in contact.

This is NOT how we typically handle anger and stress. I know there is no excuse for the behavior and believe me it will never happen again if he wants this family to remain intact.

Yes he did break a chair. The police took pictures of it. The action codes are 2919.25(c) misdemeanor 1 and 2903.21 misdemeanor 4 (for the threats).

 

[CdwJava]

That the thing - he has NEVER displayed behaviour like this before. He is seeking anger management counseling and we will go to family counseling as well once we can be in contact.

This is NOT how we typically handle anger and stress. I know there is no excuse for the behavior and believe me it will never happen again if he wants this family to remain intact.

Yes he did break a chair. The police took pictures of it. The action codes are 2919.25(c) misdemeanor 1 and 2903.21 misdemeanor 4 (for the threats).

Here are the charges:

2919.25(C) No person, by threat of force, shall knowingly cause a family or household member to believe that the offender will cause imminent physical harm to the family or household member.​

And,

2903.21 (A) No person shall knowingly cause another to believe that the offender will cause serious physical harm to the person or property of the other person, the other person’s unborn, or a member of the other person’s immediate family.

(B) Whoever violates this section is guilty of aggravated menacing. Except as otherwise provided in this division, aggravated menacing is a misdemeanor of the first degree. If the victim of the offense is an officer or employee of a public children services agency or a private child placing agency and the offense relates to the officer’s or employee’s performance or anticipated performance of official responsibilities or duties, aggravated menacing is a felony of the fifth degree or, if the offender previously has been convicted of or pleaded guilty to an offense of violence, the victim of that prior offense was an officer or employee of a public children services agency or private child placing agency, and that prior offense related to the officer’s or employee’s performance or anticipated performance of official responsibilities or duties, a felony of the fourth degree.​

So, apparently he is accused of threatening harm even if not actually trying to harm anyone.

What he needs is an attorney.

You need to tell the truth if subpoenaed to court. You can always speak to the prosecutor and request that he be granted counseling and probation for his actions - or a deferral if that is available. But, you do not have the legal ability to remain silent or lie on the stand.

 

[st-kitts]

Spousal Priviledge

You could contact the public defender's office and ask if you can assert spousal priviledge. You would still have to show up to court, but would not have to answer questions if spousal priviledge is available in your state. I also recommend you look at the AARDVARC website that discusses domestic violence. Take the quiz "am i in an abusive relationship?" You might not think it is applicable, since this is the angriest your husband has ever been, but take a look anyway. For me, I went through many years of marriage before my husband became physically violent toward me. It started with breaking things. Only toward the end did I realize how many warning signs I overlooked. This website is pretty clear at pointing these warning signs and red flags out. I am not suggesting you abandon your spouse, but don't overlook signs either. Things may get better for you. I hope so. But it could get worse. Good luck.

 

[double-trouble]

If there is an order of protection against your husband.. you can contact the va or da's office and ask that it be lifted. this is a very simple process. the court will simply check it off the list of his OR agreement. Its as simple as asking honestly.

Did your husband admit to anything? Or did he wisely remain silent..? Do you have a copy of the police report?

I think I can help . Let me know.

 

[Silverplum]

A mere 10 days before this poster, YOU were here asking for help on a similar issue, in your state of AZ.

What NOW makes you the "expert" on an OHIO case?

You are simply wrong in your "advice," and I strongly urge you to stop posting before you hurt someone with your wrong "advice."

If there is an order of protection against your husband.. you can contact the va or da's office and ask that it be lifted. this is a very simple process. the court will simply check it off the list of his OR agreement. Its as simple as asking honestly.

Did your husband admit to anything? Or did he wisely remain silent..? Do you have a copy of the police report?

I think I can help . Let me know.

 

[double-trouble]

A mere 10 days before this poster, YOU were here asking for help on a similar issue, in your state of AZ.

What NOW makes you the "expert" on an OHIO case?

You are simply wrong in your "advice," and I strongly urge you to stop posting before you hurt someone with your wrong "advice."

I am not an expert.

However; I have been through a similar situation and after all, this person is only asking for advice. Advice does not require that one act in accordance with it. I'm not suggesting this person does anything. This is simply my point of view.

Furthermore; In a DV or assault case, I would imagine that part of the defendants OR agreement would be that he must stay away from the victim. This is generally called a "temporary order of protection." Just to be sure I looked up the law and sure enough:

"...a person who made an arrest for the alleged violation or offense under section 2935.03 of the Revised Code may file on behalf of the alleged victim, a motion that requests the issuance of a temporary protection order as a pretrial condition of release of the alleged offender, in addition to any bail set under Criminal Rule 46."

It is possible that a temporary order of protection could be part of the alleged defendants OR agreement. The poster said she did not require nor wanted one against her husband.

Its true that I came here seeking advice. Unfortunately I did not receive much of that.

Please refer to my original post and note the out-come. It does not make me an authority on these cases nor do I claim to be anything like that. However; I do have advice to offer.

 

[Silverplum]

I am not an expert.

However; I have been through a similar situation and after all, this person is only asking for advice. Advice does not require that one act in accordance with it. I'm not suggesting this person does anything. This is simply my point of view.

Furthermore; In a DV or assault case, I would imagine that part of the defendants OR agreement would be that he must stay away from the victim. This is generally called a "temporary order of protection." Just to be sure I looked up the law and sure enough:

"...a person who made an arrest for the alleged violation or offense under section 2935.03 of the Revised Code may file on behalf of the alleged victim, a motion that requests the issuance of a temporary protection order as a pretrial condition of release of the alleged offender, in addition to any bail set under Criminal Rule 46."

It is possible that a temporary order of protection could be part of the alleged defendants OR agreement. The poster said she did not require nor wanted one against her husband.

Its true that I came here seeking advice. Unfortunately I did not receive much of that.

Please refer to my original post and note the out-come. It does not make me an authority on these cases nor do I claim to be anything like that. However; I do have advice to offer.

Here's the cite for the law you posted:
http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/2919.26

And the law you posted is the opposite of what you claim. Re-read what you wrote, re-read the law. It does not say that the "victim" can request the protective order be removed. I can't imagine where you got that idea.

In fact, the law specifically shows that the Court may issue a protective order upon its own motion. It doesn't need the alleged victim's consent to do so.

ADDED: Thank you for using OH law to discuss the OH case. That was entirely correct.

 

[double-trouble]

Here's the cite for the law you posted:
Lawriter - ORC - 2919.26 Motion for and hearing on protection order.

And the law you posted is the opposite of what you claim. Re-read what you wrote, re-read the law. It does not say that the "victim" can request the protective order be removed. I can't imagine where you got that idea.

The law I posted was to prove that there very well maybe a protection order against the posters husband. Never the less, an alleged victim or defendant for that matter can certainly request that an order of protection be lifted. They simply go before the judge presiding over the case and make the request. This can take place at the arraignment if the victim contacts the VA-DA's office ahead of time and lets them know of his or her intentions -- to have the TPO dismissed.

In fact, the law specifically shows that the Court may issue a protective order upon its own motion. It doesn't need the alleged victim's consent to do so.

It doesn't quite work that way...A TPO needs a victim and an alleged crime. The poster already made it clear that she never needed the TPO in the first place. If she simply explains this to the Judge presiding, or to the VA-DA, the TPO will be dismissed. Especially if the poster testifies she is not a victim nor in any danger.

ADDED: Thank you for using OH law to discuss the OH case. That was entirely correct.

Thank you for giving me an opportunity to help you understand the reality of these situations more clearly.

 

[Silverplum]

The law I posted was to prove that there very well maybe a protection order against the posters husband. Never the less, an alleged victim or defendant for that matter can certainly request that an order of protection be lifted. They simply go before the judge presiding over the case and make the request.

You're chock-full of "it."

But it does need a victim and an alleged crime.

Really, Sherlock?

The poster already made it clear that she never needed the TPO in the first place. If she simply explains this to the Judge presiding, or to the VA-DA, the TPO will be dismissed. Especially if the poster testifies she is not a victim nor in any danger.

The law does not support your statement. You're still chock-full of "it."

Thank you for giving me an opportunity to help you understand the reality of these situations more clearly.

 

[double-trouble]

You're chock-full of "it."

lets try this again.. If your involved in a DV the state will automatically require that you abide by a TPO upon your release from custody on your OR. i.e. you cannot initiate any contact with the alleged victim etc. If the victim goes before the judge or DA and requests that TPO no longer needs to be a part of the alleged defendants OR agreement then a Judge can certainly reverse that order based souly on the victims testimony/request.

 

[double-trouble]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio
The last couple of months we have been under enormous stress. I wont get into why - I am sure you don't care - but we have never had stress like this before. Husband had been drinking - not toasted - but somewhat inebriated. We had a disagreement and he blew up. I have never seen him so angry and we have been together for over 16 years. He was yelling and screaming and threatening me. He didn't touch me or throw anything at me or get in my face. He did break a chair. He calmed somewhat down and went upstairs to the bedroom - leaving me downstairs.

The neighbors had called the police and shortly thereafter they showed up. They went upstairs and took him to jail. They arraigned him and let him out on his own reconnaissance. They told him to stay away from me. I did not fill out a report or ask for a order of protection.

I will be subpoenaed. I know I have to go - but do I have to say anything? Can I be found in contempt if I refuse to speak? I know what he did was wrong but everyone has a cracking point and he met his. He is already seeking counseling and is truly ashamed and embarrassed by his behavior. What are the chance to get this dismissed. He has no prior record of any kind besides 1 speeding ticket.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Harris, I believe you. The truth is you were never in any danger, you were not struck or harmed in anyway. You simply had an arguement. The guy fell over in his own chair and broke it because he had one to many. Thats not illegal. I would contact your victim's advocate and explain this to him and the DA prosecuting the case. If it goes to trial - which i highly doubt - simply tell the truth. If what you told us here is accurate then I honestly don't see much grounds for the DV charge. Remember we're all after truth and justice. As far as the police go; they have to justify an arrest because in DV cases they are usually required to make an arrest. The police simply misinterpreted the situation.

Most of the people here don't seem to realise that harsh DV laws actually break families up and could cost fathers and mothers their lively hoods. DV laws should be used to prosecute serious offenders who have a history of violence and are truly dangerous. Having a non-violent arguement and breaking your own chair? Then charging him with DV? I wouldn't call that justice.

 

[gr8rn]

Harris, I believe you. The truth is you were never in any danger, you were not struck or harmed in anyway. You simply had an arguement. The guy fell over in his own chair and broke it because he had one to many. Thats not illegal. Most of the people here don't seem to realise that harsh DV laws actually break families up and could cost fathers and mothers their lively hoods. DV laws should be used to prosecute serious offenders who have a history of violence and are truly dangerous. Having a non-violent arguement and breaking your own chair? Then charging him with DV? I wouldn't call that justice.

spoken like a true domestic abuser. Rationalize, terrorize, threaten, coerce, beg, plead, oh, please baby give me one more chance. Oh, yeah. I know you.