Divorce vs. legal separation..

[mills31]

My husband has recently decided he wants a divorce. To make a long story short, he has come out of the closet after almost 23 years of marriage. Here's my dilema. My health insurance is through his employer. I have a pre-existing heart condition that, I just recently found out, makes me universally denied health coverage. Because of some law that was passed, I am eligible for the Missouri Hight Risk pool. It costs from $600 to $800 per month for coverage and the pre-existing condition is only marginally covered. It's totally unaffordable for my $8.75 an hour receptionist job. I asked my husband if he'd consider a legal separation instead of a divorce so I can keep the insurance. He said NO and that no judge will make him pay for my health insurance. I developed the heart condition when I gave birth to his daugher 16 years ago. I had post partum cardio myopathy. I now have a weakened heart muscle. I'm 52 years old. Does anyone know if I refuse to agree to a divorce, could a judge force him to do a legal separation? I'm so confused and don't know what to do. I can't even sleep at night worried about not having health insurance. I'm taking 5 different medications too. Any adviceWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[majomom1]

My husband has recently decided he wants a divorce. To make a long story short, he has come out of the closet after almost 23 years of marriage. Here's my dilema. My health insurance is through his employer. I have a pre-existing heart condition that, I just recently found out, makes me universally denied health coverage. Because of some law that was passed, I am eligible for the Missouri Hight Risk pool. It costs from $600 to $800 per month for coverage and the pre-existing condition is only marginally covered. It's totally unaffordable for my $8.75 an hour receptionist job. I asked my husband if he'd consider a legal separation instead of a divorce so I can keep the insurance. He said NO and that no judge will make him pay for my health insurance. I developed the heart condition when I gave birth to his daugher 16 years ago. I had post partum cardio myopathy. I now have a weakened heart muscle. I'm 52 years old. Does anyone know if I refuse to agree to a divorce, could a judge force him to do a legal separation? I'm so confused and don't know what to do. I can't even sleep at night worried about not having health insurance. I'm taking 5 different medications too. Any adviceWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I have great sympathy for your situation. I don't know the legal answer for the insurance in your situation, but the bolded sentence really bothered me.

She is not just HIS daughter, she is YOUR daughter too.

You cannot stop a divorce and the judge cannot make him do a separation. I don't think the court can do anything that will enable you to keep this insurance. They might be able to incorporate this into the final settlement...

You really need to talk to an attorney to get accurate information and in your case that could involve some investigation of your medical records.

 

[mistoffolees]

My husband has recently decided he wants a divorce. To make a long story short, he has come out of the closet after almost 23 years of marriage. Here's my dilema. My health insurance is through his employer. I have a pre-existing heart condition that, I just recently found out, makes me universally denied health coverage. Because of some law that was passed, I am eligible for the Missouri Hight Risk pool. It costs from $600 to $800 per month for coverage and the pre-existing condition is only marginally covered. It's totally unaffordable for my $8.75 an hour receptionist job. I asked my husband if he'd consider a legal separation instead of a divorce so I can keep the insurance. He said NO and that no judge will make him pay for my health insurance. I developed the heart condition when I gave birth to his daugher 16 years ago. I had post partum cardio myopathy. I now have a weakened heart muscle. I'm 52 years old. Does anyone know if I refuse to agree to a divorce, could a judge force him to do a legal separation? I'm so confused and don't know what to do. I can't even sleep at night worried about not having health insurance. I'm taking 5 different medications too. Any adviceWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

He's going to get a divorce. You may be able to delay it, but you can't stop it. The judge won't order a separation instead of a divorce if one party wants it.

There are a number of options that you'll need to look into:

1. If you find a job which has health insurance for employees and transfer directly from his employer's plan to yours, the pre-existing condition shouldn't be a problem. Is there any chance of finding a job with benefits in your area?

2. Get a copy of his company's insurance plan or talk with the administrator. In some cases (although I don't think it's very common), it is possible for a divorcee to get covered under COBRA. This is not very likely, but it's worth checking.

3. Some companies allow a divorced partner to stay on the plan. Again, not common, but I've seen it happen. Again, check his plan rules.

4. After 23 years, you MAY be entitled to spousal support for some period of time. That may help with the cost of insurance. In fact, your attorney might ask for stbx to pay for the insurance as part or all of the spousal support.

5. Missouri is in the process of implementing a health insurance plan for low income workers (up to roughly twice the poverty level). If this has been passed, you may be eligible. Do some research:
http://www.emaxhealth.com/142/21545.html

Bottom line is that you need to get used to the fact that you're going to be getting a divorce, but that doesn't mean that there are no options for you.

 

[penelope10]

He's going to get a divorce. You may be able to delay it, but you can't stop it. The judge won't order a separation instead of a divorce if one party wants it.

There are a number of options that you'll need to look into:

1. If you find a job which has health insurance for employees and transfer directly from his employer's plan to yours, the pre-existing condition shouldn't be a problem. Is there any chance of finding a job with benefits in your area?

2. Get a copy of his company's insurance plan or talk with the administrator. In some cases (although I don't think it's very common), it is possible for a divorcee to get covered under COBRA. This is not very likely, but it's worth checking.

3. Some companies allow a divorced partner to stay on the plan. Again, not common, but I've seen it happen. Again, check his plan rules.

4. After 23 years, you MAY be entitled to spousal support for some period of time. That may help with the cost of insurance. In fact, your attorney might ask for stbx to pay for the insurance as part or all of the spousal support.

5. Missouri is in the process of implementing a health insurance plan for low income workers (up to roughly twice the poverty level). If this has been passed, you may be eligible. Do some research:
http://www.emaxhealth.com/142/21545.html

Bottom line is that you need to get used to the fact that you're going to be getting a divorce, but that doesn't mean that there are no options for you.

Just wanted to make a small correction from the great info provided. COBRA is easy to get if COBRA is available. However, OP, you will need to let the health care administrator at your husband's company know you want the COBRA as soon as the Divorce is FINAL. (And it's probably a good idea, as suggested, to speak with them once the motion for divorce is FILED just to discuss possible options) I believe you have only 60 days to get the COBRA once a qualifying event occurs. (Divorce is a qualifying event). In the event of a divorce the qualifying spouse can get coverage for up to 36 months. However, the insurance is very expensive. It is charged at 102% of the cost of plan. (The 2% is an administrative fee charged to those who opt for COBRA)

Here's a good site on COBRA www.dol.gov/ebsa/faqs/faq_consumer_cobra.HTMl

 

[mistoffolees]

Just wanted to make a small correction from the great info provided. COBRA is easy to get if COBRA is available. However, OP, you will need to let the health care administrator at your husband's company know you want the COBRA as soon as the Divorce is FINAL. (And it's probably a good idea, as suggested, to speak with them once the motion for divorce is FILED just to discuss possible options) I believe you have only 60 days to get the COBRA once a qualifying event occurs. (Divorce is a qualifying event). In the event of a divorce the qualifying spouse can get coverage for up to 36 months. However, the insurance is very expensive. It is charged at 102% of the cost of plan. (The 2% is an administrative fee charged to those who opt for COBRA)

Here's a good site on COBRA www.dol.gov/ebsa/faqs/faq_consumer_cobra.HTMl

Thanks for the info. My ex had her own coverage, so I didn't have to deal with COBRA.

 

[MFinancier]

Just to add my two cents...although divorce is a qualifying event for COBRA (if it is available)...and as mentioned it is also very expensive at 102%...it is also subject to increased premiums over the period of 36 months based on people with similar insurability. Thats a real unpredictable factor. Since this is a marriage of duration and this condition could get worse...I would try to get some ordered periodic support in the form of medical insurance/payments...even if it is a neglible amount...because of the potential for modification. I've seen people waive support for upfront discounted cash payments or increased divisions...only to lose their chance for future support or modification due to any unforseen issues. Just a thought.