nanasrcool
Member
LdiJ or someone HELPFUL regarding designated 3rd party
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I am in Texas, however the child resides in TN so TN law would prevail I believe.
This question actually pertains to my daughter. I am the GM of the child. The father resides in TN. They were never married. They went to court and custody was decided by a magistrate. The paper she received from the court was a one page document stating very few things. Only that father has primary custody. Mom has visitation last week of the month followed by 1st week of the month. Then it said the child support order. The child support (sorry not to get off point) was set at an amount that well exceeds the legal percentage. She is ordered to pay 679.00 per month. She waits tables and only makes about 22K a year. She stated in court on a good day she made 200 and the magistrate set it as if she made 200 every day. So now she is behind on support, even working 2 jobs.
I am a single mom that went has had plenty of dealings in court with Ex here in Texas. I had never seen an order like that. It lacks any real detail and cannot really sustain a long period. For instance when he starts school. There is no way they could go with the orders as written. I have never in my life had the experience of seeing papers so poorly drawn up.
Sorry, on to my original question. The father has harassed my daughter extensively. He wants to get back together and she does not. He brought the child to Texas to visit her on her birthday. It was more to try and get her to get back with him. When she told him no, he was angry. She went to the bathroom and he used this time to hack her phone and have all her calls forwarded to his google voice account. Then called all the men (even just friends of hers) and said horrible things to them about her. But the worst part was the phone thing. She ended up having to get her number changed just to regain control of her own phone. In retaliation he has now told her since she has an outstanding traffic ticket that is unpaid and has gone to a warrant, she cannot have her visitation. Of course if she comes he will have her arrested for her ticket.
She wants to designate me to pick up her son, while she waits at the hotel (we have to drive to TN to get him each visit). He is still refusing to let her have him at all. I want to know if we go, if she has designated me to pick him up on her behalf and I have to call the authorities, do I have the authority to pick my grandson up for her? I know that if we don't go, then proving contempt is beyond difficult. I have had dealings on this with my ex. I was not in contempt because he actually never came to pick our son up. Never even ASKED. But in that I learned that the picking up is really crucial. However, because it is TN and their family law is so hinky (lol my term) I don't know if she is allowed to even designate a party to avoid confrontation with him.
Anyone know? Also, can she get the child support arrears taken off since it was set at an illegal amount from the beginning. She has proof, since she was only working 15 hours a week when she went to court. Even now working 2 jobs she only makes 22K! She has bank account deposits and pay stubs to prove it. Even in the transcript it clearly states "on a good day".
I am not familiar with TN and honestly considering how this has all transpired, I have very little confidence in their system. He wont work. Has been in school for 10 years without obtaining a single degree (knows when he stops the payments for his loans begin) lives with mom in a very small room and has a closet as my grandson's room, collects welfare as his only income and was said to be more financially stable. I mean it was really crazy. So I honestly don't expect the court to do anything about him interfering with visitation as well. This is a baby! He is only 1 year old. The girl he dates deal oxy and he does drugs as well. He tells my daughter these things. Yet he is the primary custodian. So he was given all the control. Uses it too! She is paying everything she makes at her 1st job in child support including 90% of her tips since they are credit card tips. You can't hide income as a waitress anymore. No one pays with cash so tips are VERY easily counted. She isn't and never has hid her income. Yet they are taking 60& of it. She still has an arrears of 2 months because it took her that long to start making any money at her second job and her 1st job wasn't even coming close to making her support payments. She was only able to pay 400 a month for a few months which added up. She can't afford an attorney because they are taking all of her income. It is a nightmare and honestly she is just exhausted from it all. I don't know how she has held on considering the nightmare of first losing your 5 month old baby and then having all your money taken..the harassment by the father and having to BEG to see her child.
She took some VERY bad advice from her attorney (sorry guys but there are some out there that are not exactly in the top of the game) and let him have her son for a few weeks. This was suppose to only be till they went back to court which was just a few weeks from then. However, his attorney, (who was def a smart one!) got a continuance and they drug out the next date for 2 months. I told her NOT to listen to the attorney and tell her no because I knew in most cases, the custody goes to the parent that has the child when you go to court. Not always granted, but in most. Sure enough..well you know.
Can anyone help that knows TN law? Can she designate me and will the authorities help?
Sorry for the long post. As in most family law legal problems, the story is a long one.
Thank you for you time,
Erin
Dallas TX
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I am in Texas, however the child resides in TN so TN law would prevail I believe.
This question actually pertains to my daughter. I am the GM of the child. The father resides in TN. They were never married. They went to court and custody was decided by a magistrate. The paper she received from the court was a one page document stating very few things. Only that father has primary custody. Mom has visitation last week of the month followed by 1st week of the month. Then it said the child support order. The child support (sorry not to get off point) was set at an amount that well exceeds the legal percentage. She is ordered to pay 679.00 per month. She waits tables and only makes about 22K a year. She stated in court on a good day she made 200 and the magistrate set it as if she made 200 every day. So now she is behind on support, even working 2 jobs.
I am a single mom that went has had plenty of dealings in court with Ex here in Texas. I had never seen an order like that. It lacks any real detail and cannot really sustain a long period. For instance when he starts school. There is no way they could go with the orders as written. I have never in my life had the experience of seeing papers so poorly drawn up.
Sorry, on to my original question. The father has harassed my daughter extensively. He wants to get back together and she does not. He brought the child to Texas to visit her on her birthday. It was more to try and get her to get back with him. When she told him no, he was angry. She went to the bathroom and he used this time to hack her phone and have all her calls forwarded to his google voice account. Then called all the men (even just friends of hers) and said horrible things to them about her. But the worst part was the phone thing. She ended up having to get her number changed just to regain control of her own phone. In retaliation he has now told her since she has an outstanding traffic ticket that is unpaid and has gone to a warrant, she cannot have her visitation. Of course if she comes he will have her arrested for her ticket.
She wants to designate me to pick up her son, while she waits at the hotel (we have to drive to TN to get him each visit). He is still refusing to let her have him at all. I want to know if we go, if she has designated me to pick him up on her behalf and I have to call the authorities, do I have the authority to pick my grandson up for her? I know that if we don't go, then proving contempt is beyond difficult. I have had dealings on this with my ex. I was not in contempt because he actually never came to pick our son up. Never even ASKED. But in that I learned that the picking up is really crucial. However, because it is TN and their family law is so hinky (lol my term) I don't know if she is allowed to even designate a party to avoid confrontation with him.
Anyone know? Also, can she get the child support arrears taken off since it was set at an illegal amount from the beginning. She has proof, since she was only working 15 hours a week when she went to court. Even now working 2 jobs she only makes 22K! She has bank account deposits and pay stubs to prove it. Even in the transcript it clearly states "on a good day".
I am not familiar with TN and honestly considering how this has all transpired, I have very little confidence in their system. He wont work. Has been in school for 10 years without obtaining a single degree (knows when he stops the payments for his loans begin) lives with mom in a very small room and has a closet as my grandson's room, collects welfare as his only income and was said to be more financially stable. I mean it was really crazy. So I honestly don't expect the court to do anything about him interfering with visitation as well. This is a baby! He is only 1 year old. The girl he dates deal oxy and he does drugs as well. He tells my daughter these things. Yet he is the primary custodian. So he was given all the control. Uses it too! She is paying everything she makes at her 1st job in child support including 90% of her tips since they are credit card tips. You can't hide income as a waitress anymore. No one pays with cash so tips are VERY easily counted. She isn't and never has hid her income. Yet they are taking 60& of it. She still has an arrears of 2 months because it took her that long to start making any money at her second job and her 1st job wasn't even coming close to making her support payments. She was only able to pay 400 a month for a few months which added up. She can't afford an attorney because they are taking all of her income. It is a nightmare and honestly she is just exhausted from it all. I don't know how she has held on considering the nightmare of first losing your 5 month old baby and then having all your money taken..the harassment by the father and having to BEG to see her child.
She took some VERY bad advice from her attorney (sorry guys but there are some out there that are not exactly in the top of the game) and let him have her son for a few weeks. This was suppose to only be till they went back to court which was just a few weeks from then. However, his attorney, (who was def a smart one!) got a continuance and they drug out the next date for 2 months. I told her NOT to listen to the attorney and tell her no because I knew in most cases, the custody goes to the parent that has the child when you go to court. Not always granted, but in most. Sure enough..well you know.
Can anyone help that knows TN law? Can she designate me and will the authorities help?
Sorry for the long post. As in most family law legal problems, the story is a long one.
Thank you for you time,
Erin
Dallas TX
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