Can mom designate a 3rd party to pick up child for visitation

[Ohiogal]

How is your oldest child 24 in this thread but yet in another thread your oldest is only 21?

 

[stealth2]

Darling, first of all you I seriously HOPE you are NOT an attorney since your ability to READ is seriously impaired. First of all I piped up in MY OWN case as I actually SAID. Do you ever READ what people write before being a jerk so you don't end up looking like a jerk and fool? I absolutely do NOT need or WANT your help. So thank you SO much Sweetie! Your help is not requested or required. I prefer help from someone that can actually READ what is written. Instead of trying to find a way to be a jerk to people that are asking a question. A VALID question.

See anyone can be a jerk. I am trying so hard to just get a STRAIGHT answer. Apparently no one KNOWS the answer. Thank you so much for adding even MORE evidence of what this site is actually about which is ANYTHING but help. Stealth's profile is HX is very interesting. You seem to do nothing more than attack people who post questions. Just as I stated in my complaint to the site owners. I gave them countless posts from people complaining about this site and the LACK of decorum. That it is more a playground mentality of bullying any unsuspecting person that comes here seeking actual advice. YOU are actually one of the main offenders. So please go and "help" someone else! Not that you seem to actually do that! Do you not have a real life and this is your only entertainment? Are you so insignificant in your real life you must come here to feel like you are superior by putting the posters down? Sad, very very sad indeed.

I am actually a very nice person, but to be honest this place would push a saint into being a jerk just because of the nasty posts received for asking a legal question! Like you have to first justify your RIGHT to actually ASK it first! What the heck makes you think I would WANT your help Stealth? You really do not actually answer anyone's questions. You just post sarcastic dribble.

It is truly sad what posters like you have done to the site. You have taken something meant to be for good and made it into something that should come with a serious caution label instead.

LOL This is SO worth keeping! Thanks for the laugh!

Perhaps if you learned to write a bit more clearly, your information would be easier to understand. Still and all - tell your daughter to ask her questions herself. Either here for free, or of a lawyer she pays. Have a great day!

 

[nanasrcool]

Don't you think you've harmed your daughter's case enough by encouraging her to disregard her lawyer's advice? You don't really think you know more than a trained, licensed, experienced attorney, do you? Cause you don't.

Please read what I write. Instead of trying to find a way to get a dig in at me. I advised her not to listen to her first attorney yes. She did listen to her and lost custody because of it. Even the attorney at the firm who FIRED my daughters first attorney and took the case over to try to repair the damage she did and even waived the remainder of the fee because he felt so bad about the horrible advice the attorney gave my daughter, agreed what she (the prior attorney my daughter's case was assigned to at the firm was a woman) told her to do, let dad have the baby till the next hearing, was" not the best thing to do.

I agree there are great attorney's out there. There are also bad ones. Unfortunately, the first one was a bad one. It happens and it is what it is. All you can do is move on. I am over that, even if my daughter isn't since it was her child that is now living in another state with the father and she is having to fight to even get her visitations and endure stalking, harassment, and having her cell phone hacked!

As far as me thinking I know more than a licensed attorney.. Well apparantly THAT attorney I did yes. I also just had a court hearing where my ex HAD an attorney. I didn't. I had to call witnesses and present my case. I got everything I asked for and more. My ex's attorney IS an idiot. I say this with complete confidence having had many hearings with him there on my ex's behalf. He filed a contempt motion that was completely inept. My court appt attorney in the contempt hearing even said he is loath to say a negative thing about another attorney but he was completely shocked at the motion. It didn't even have any reference to ACTUAL contempt. He even conceded that his client had not ever TRIED to pick up our son, made any contact with me to attempt visitation. Nothing! So yes..SOME attorneys, licensed or not, I feel VERY confident I know more. Maybe not in everything since we all have our strengths and weaknesses. He went to law school so obviously would know more than I. But in common sense, oh without a single doubt in my mind I could run circles around my ex husbands attorney. The only thing that would make me more angry than losing my case would be to have actually PAID that attorney. I actually felt sorry for my ex. The fact that he keeps using him is his problem. He uses him because he tells him what he wants to hear. For a narcissist, that is all they want! (and before you come back with a snarky comment, he was diagnosed by a psychiatrist 15 years ago..2 actually. So yes I KNOW he is.

Why in the world are you guys so hell bent on attacking me instead of simply ANSWERING the question? I can only take based on your actions, you guys simply do not know. Which is fine. You should just say, I am not sure. That would be better than trying to gang up and attack the person that DARED to ask.

I have had several very good attorneys. The attorney that handled my injury case was an ACE! She got 400K for a slip and fall in Dallas. Courts are or were a republican majority on sitting judges so winning injury cases, not exactly easy to do. She got the 400K in mediation against 2 VERY large insurance companies and before you try to give me a hard time about knowing anything about insurance, try AGAIN! I actually know A LOT about it having been in insurance from the age of 18. The companies were both VERY hard to get a great settlement. My attorney though had an awesome case built showing prior notice by all. So please do not make generalized statements. I actually do not have a problem with all attorneys. Only the 2 I have mentioned. I do not make assumptions about people. I give them a chance to show who they are first. I even try to see the best. Sometimes that can be very very hard but I try.

 

[stealth2]

Why in the world are you guys so hell bent on attacking me instead of simply ANSWERING the question? I can only take based on your actions, you guys simply do not know. Which is fine. You should just say, I am not sure. That would be better than trying to gang up and attack the person that DARED to ask.

NO ONE is attacking you! We are trying to make you understand that this is NOT your legal situation and it should be your daughter seeking help. NOT YOU!

 

[nanasrcool]

How is your oldest child 24 in this thread but yet in another thread your oldest is only 21?

I never said the 21 year old is my oldest. lol.. again, really trying there arent you. I have NO reason to lie to you. None whatsoever. The 21 year old is actually my youngest daughter. I only have one child younger than her and it is my only son who is now 12. I have a 24 year old as well and she is not my oldest daughter. I have a daughter that is older than her actually. I don't believe I said my 24 year old was my oldest, but I will concede I may have mistyped (?) lol since I cant mispeak on here. My oldest daughter is 27. I have a 27 d, 24 d, 21 d, 19 ss, 12 s. Does that clear it up? (not being snarky..seriously)

I am NOT trying to pull anyone's leg here. I have absolutely no reason to make anything up, especially my children! I am proud of them. They are not perfect but they are all trying. The all finished school or are still going with the exception of my ss. No teen pregnancies or kids on drugs so considering, I feel pretty good about how they have grown up. My oldest is the best mother I have ever met! She is the mother of my oldest grandchild who is 5.

I don't wish to argue and fight with you guys. Honest I dont. I will defend myself if attacked which I definitely have been. There is no reason to be so disrespectful to people that post a valid question on here. That is what aggravates me. That seems to be the M O of SOME (not all) posters. Instead of answering the question or just moving on to one they actually can answer they post snarky - insulting comments to the person asking the question. There is just no excuse in that. I have repeated asked to have only helpful answers. If you do not know the answer, no problem. I would prefer NO response to the sarcastic and even some insulting posts. Is that really too much to ask? I know understanding tone in the written form can be hard. I struggle often too. Things can be perceived to be snarky when they are not meant that way. However, some responses I have received are unmistakably negative. Am I asking too much for or expecting too much for that to be considered a BAD thing?

 

[nanasrcool]

NO ONE is attacking you! We are trying to make you understand that this is NOT your legal situation and it should be your daughter seeking help. NOT YOU!

Stealth..sure.. your post before was just you being "helpful". It was unmistakably a smarta@@ post. Not needed or required. If you don't want to help..that is FINE. You speak for the entire group here? Has it ever occured to you that you are NOT the only people in this forum? That maybe someone on here actually has something positive to offer?

If YOU do not wish to help FINE, I am most certainly NOT requiring YOU to do anything but actually attempt to speak to me with some modicum of decorum and respect. Is that to much to ask of YOU? Instead of posting the things you have in the manner you have. All you have to say is, "My own personal rule is to only give advice to people when it is their own personal situation."

This I would respect. I would say, " I can understand that and thank you for taking the time to respond"

Instead I have gotten smart a@@ comments about my daughter needing to put on her big girl pants, how I have personally DAMAGED my daughters case and needing to not deal with her legal affairs and so on. When I do NOT recall asking anyone for parenting advice. I pretty much have that covered, thank you. I simply asked WHAT the law was. If you do NOT know that law, also FINE. Again, no sarcastic or insulting post necessary.

If YOU do not wish to help anyone that it is NOT their personal situation (though it is in a way since I AM the person she wishes to designate) then why not just NOT answer?

 

[stealth2]

I never said the 21 year old is my oldest. lol.. again, really trying there arent you. I have NO reason to lie to you. None whatsoever. The 21 year old is actually my youngest daughter. I only have one child younger than her and it is my only son who is now 12. I have a 24 year old as well and she is not my oldest daughter. I have a daughter that is older than her actually. I don't believe I said my 24 year old was my oldest, but I will concede I may have mistyped (?) lol since I cant mispeak on here. My oldest daughter is 27. I have a 27 d, 24 d, 21 d, 19 ss, 12 s. Does that clear it up? (not being snarky..seriously)

Would you prefer ketchup or mustard on that foot before you insert it into your mouth? To whit:

and spoke to my oldest daughter who is now 21.

Yes, you DID say she was your oldest. Perhaps try to remember what you write before calling everyone else's intelligence into question.

 

[nanasrcool]

LOL This is SO worth keeping! Thanks for the laugh!

Perhaps if you learned to write a bit more clearly, your information would be easier to understand. Still and all - tell your daughter to ask her questions herself. Either here for free, or of a lawyer she pays. Have a great day!

All a person has to do is read your posting hx to see I am not even close to the only person to have a complaint about your posts. You history says it all and has been sent to the owner's of this site and reported accordingly, sweetheart. Do not blame me for your inability to actually read in your hurry to find something to sling at someone. If you end up looking like a fool, you did that to yourself.

 

[Ohiogal]

I never said the 21 year old is my oldest. lol.. again, really trying there arent you. I have NO reason to lie to you. None whatsoever. The 21 year old is actually my youngest daughter. I only have one child younger than her and it is my only son who is now 12. I have a 24 year old as well and she is not my oldest daughter. I have a daughter that is older than her actually. I don't believe I said my 24 year old was my oldest, but I will concede I may have mistyped (?) lol since I cant mispeak on here. My oldest daughter is 27. I have a 27 d, 24 d, 21 d, 19 ss, 12 s. Does that clear it up? (not being snarky..seriously)

I am NOT trying to pull anyone's leg here. I have absolutely no reason to make anything up, especially my children! I am proud of them. They are not perfect but they are all trying. The all finished school or are still going with the exception of my ss. No teen pregnancies or kids on drugs so considering, I feel pretty good about how they have grown up. My oldest is the best mother I have ever met! She is the mother of my oldest grandchild who is 5.

I don't wish to argue and fight with you guys. Honest I dont. I will defend myself if attacked which I definitely have been. There is no reason to be so disrespectful to people that post a valid question on here. That is what aggravates me. That seems to be the M O of SOME (not all) posters. Instead of answering the question or just moving on to one they actually can answer they post snarky - insulting comments to the person asking the question. There is just no excuse in that. I have repeated asked to have only helpful answers. If you do not know the answer, no problem. I would prefer NO response to the sarcastic and even some insulting posts. Is that really too much to ask? I know understanding tone in the written form can be hard. I struggle often too. Things can be perceived to be snarky when they are not meant that way. However, some responses I have received are unmistakably negative. Am I asking too much for or expecting too much for that to be considered a BAD thing?

Actually what you stated was:

He spoke to me, looked at my evidence such as the email, my ex's violent history and spoke to my oldest daughter who is now 21.

Try rereading what YOU wrote. You stated your oldest daughter is now 21 and you typed that yesterday. So maybe you should learn a bit of humility and not try to be a jerk.

 

[ecmst12]

If your question is whether you as grandma can go pick up the child without mom, without a court order stating that you can pick up the child or that mom can designate anyone other than herself to pick the child up, the answer is no, not unless dad allows it. The police will rarely get involved in custody matters and if they do, it is when the orders are crystal clear about what exact day which parent is supposed to have the child, and the person doing the pickup is the actual party on the orders (with ID, a copy of the orders, and a copy of the birth certificate). And even then, not always. Mom wouldn't even be able to file for contempt if she herself does not show up to pick up the child.

She needs to pay her ticket and get rid of his leverage against her. You got a $400k injury settlement, you can help her with a $400 ticket.

 

[nanasrcool]

Actually what you stated was:



Try rereading what YOU wrote. You stated your oldest daughter is now 21 and you typed that yesterday. So maybe you should learn a bit of humility and not try to be a jerk.

Again, that was the case where SHE was the oldest in that particular hearing regarding HER and her younger brother. I also stated IF I misspoke, I sincerely apologize. Maybe YOU do not recognize humility when you read it, since it is a concept you have never actually experienced yourself. Seems you appear to be projecting your OWN insufficiency and personality defects on me. So sad.

 

[Just Blue]

Again, that was the case where SHE was the oldest in that particular hearing regarding HER and her younger brother. I also stated IF I misspoke, I sincerely apologize. Maybe YOU do not recognize humility when you read it, since it is a concept you have never actually experienced yourself. Seems you appear to be projecting your OWN insufficiency and personality defects on me. So sad.

What a rude "person" you are.

This is your ADULT Daughters situation. Period. End of story.

 

[nanasrcool]

so, was the case heard in Texas?

no, it was in TN.

Because if it was heard in Tennessee, then it doesn't matter that she lives in TX. The order comes from a TN court and follows TN law.

yes, I assumed it did. Unfortunately, I do not know the TN law regarding 3rd party designation when the order is silent. Her order is a one page, fill in the blank order that is very vague and only gives the child support amount, uncovered medical costs, primary residence, visitation schedule and how to handle end of year so it will alternate each year, and who is responsible for the transportation costs. Unlike my orders which are actually about 18 pages and go into a LOT of detail. My visitation orders are actually only the standard visitation in my state and it is that detailed. So seeing this is pretty hard to decipher which leads both sides to have misunderstandings and problems. She never actually received a final order that was typed up and signed by them both. I again, don't really know how it is done in TN so I don't know if that is the norm or not.


If she is low income why hasn't she sought help from Texas free legal aid or another organization tha offers free legal services?

Texas Legal Aid is pretty hard to get help. I actually qualified for their services when I had my issues to deal with not long ago with my ex. However, even though I qualified financially, they are very very limited in their funding and cannot take but a small number of cases. I am still going to tell her to try. It certainly can't hurt. I also found another group called "fathers for equal rights". Though the name stated Fathers, they actually handle cases for mothers as well. They don't offer actual representation, but they do teach you how to handle your own situation, file the required motions and what you need to do. Again, it can't hurt.

and as far as what theatty did in the past, you need to get over it and move fwd.

Yes, I have. I actually was only giving that hx as a reference for information purposes. It is what it is. No going back and changing it. You have to take the good with the bad. Getting HER to understand that is another story entirely since she is the one having to fight just to see her child and endure harassment you would not believe. I am sure many others have gone through the same on both sides of the fence. She is going to have to learn to deal with what comes and do something about it if she wants things to change. I have told her that sitting back, complaining while not doing anything to change the situation is not helping anyone and will only snowball on her. Like not paying the tickets immediately. It isn't going to just go away.

I am so sorry for not addressing your question and letting myself be sidetracked by other posts that are distracting me from the reason I actually came here.

Thank you so much for speaking to me in a respectful way. It is what we all deserve at the very least. Disagreeing with me is fine. Certainly no problem for me. I don't expect everyone to agree with me. I just expect that if they do disagree, they do so without attacking me or insulting me. I appreciate your response being respectful more than you can imagine.

 

[stealth2]

Again, that was the case where SHE was the oldest in that particular hearing regarding HER and her younger brother. I also stated IF I misspoke, I sincerely apologize. Maybe YOU do not recognize humility when you read it, since it is a concept you have never actually experienced yourself. Seems you appear to be projecting your OWN insufficiency and personality defects on me. So sad.

Two points - I asked about this last night, and specified that I was asking out of curiosity. Would have been easy THEN to explain it. <shrug>

Also, you should be aware that OHGal is actually an attorney, and a GAL. So, if you insist on barging in on your daughter's situation, you might at least consider listening to what an actual lawyer/GAL has to say about the situation. Instead of being ignorant.

If she is low income why hasn't she sought help from Texas free legal aid or another organization tha offers free legal services?

Texas Legal Aid is pretty hard to get help.

TX Legal Aid will not be able to help with a TN case. And TN Legal Aid will not help a non-resident. So your daughter NEEDS a lawyer to represent her in TX. Period. End of story.

 

[Ohiogal]

Texas Legal Aid can do nothing for your daughter nor can any TX organizations. Why? Because TN law applies. Seriously, keep your nose out of your daughter's problems because you are not going to help her.