Coach

[Ohiogal]

You really need a consult with a local attorney to see if you are really at risk for an alienation of affection suit. NC is one of the few states that still allow those kinds of suits at all and it not at all guaranteed that you could be sued...let alone that it could be for millions.

There is NOT a guarantee that she would be sued but criminal conversation is a strict liability issue. There is a statute of limitation of three years. If she can prove there was an intent for them to remain permanently separated then that is a defense. The problem is, he is with his wife now. The law is very specific. I posted it. If this man wants to do her harm, what better way than having his wife sue her for criminal conversation and alleging harm in the millions of dollars? The fact that she admitted to continuing to text him and FLIRT with him until May even though he was back with his wife is an issue.
Here is another site:
http://www.ricefamilylaw.com/family/alienation-of-affection.htm

Criminal Conversation
Criminal conversation is a claim brought in civil court against a paramour for having sex with the Plaintiff's spouse. It is based on the belief that a married person has a right to exclusive sexual intercourse with their spouse. You don’t have to prove that husband and wife were genuinely in love so it is a claim that is much easier to prove. In fact, you only have to prove (1) an act of sexual intercourse and (2) that the Plaintiff was married to the adulterous spouse. And you don't have to have direct proof that sex actually occured but rather you merely have to have circumstantial evidence that proves sex occured (usually that there was an inclination on the part of the defendant to have sex with the adulterous spouse and that the defendant and the adulterous spouse had the opportunity to have sex). Therefore, a criminal conversation lawsuit is easier to win than an alienation of affections claim although the two claims are often brought together.

Regarding damages:

Verdicts
Million dollar verdicts have not been uncommon in North Carolina for alienation of affection and emotional distress. Carol Puryear was awarded $30,162,000 dollars in March 2011 in the case of Puryear v. Devin by Wake County judge Carl J. Fox. In 2010, Cynthia Shackelford was awarded $9 million against her husband’s mistress for ruining their marriage. And that same year a Pitt County court awarded Dr Lynn Arcara $5.8 Million against Susan Pecoraro whom she said stole her husband away from her. Pecoraro had been the wife's closest friend prior to the illicit relationship with the husband. A Mecklenburg County jury awarded $1.4 million in May 2001 to former Davidson College wrestling coach Thomas Oddo against Dr. Jeffrey Presser of West Palm Beach, Fla., after the coach's wife, Debra, left him for Presser (the jury verdict was later reduced by the NC Court of Appeals as excessive). A year 2000 verdict of $86,250 for alienation of affections and $15,000 for criminal conversation in the case of Pharr v. Beck, from Burke county was upheld on appeal. In 1997, in the case of Hutelmyer v. Cox, the Plaintiff wife was awarded $1 million against her husband's secretary who "dressed sexy at work" and had an affair with him destroying their marriage. In May 1991, in the case of Nunn v. Allen, a Richmond county jury awarded $100,000 in damages.

These are a sampling of some of the cases that have been reported in the news and at the appellate courts. Of course there are also an untold number of cases that reach out of court settlements or that are dismissed.

Defenses
Criminal conversation is like a "strict liability tort" in that few defenses exist. An absolute defense now based upon the new statute is to prove that the sex occured after the date the parties were separated. A separation agreement that contains a "third party" waiver may also be used as a defense. Another defense would be that the Plaintiff gave his or her consent to the sexual relationship (known as connivance). Defenses do not include:

Lack of knowledge that the adulterous spouse was married
The marriage was an unhappy marriage
The sex was consensual
The defendant was seduced
The Plaintiff had engaged in adulterous affairs (although that may reduce the damages)
The sex had no effect on the marriage

Hence why I asked about the separation agreement. You can't prove the intent was to stay apart permanently because divorce was NOT filed and he did go back to her therefore you need a separation agreement signed by them to show that the intent was to separate permanently. If they didn't sign that, you have a problem.

If the coach wants to fight this, expect your "flirty texts" to come into play to show you were still pursuing a married man.

 

[LdiJ]

There is NOT a guarantee that she would be sued but criminal conversation is a strict liability issue. There is a statute of limitation of three years. If she can prove there was an intent for them to remain permanently separated then that is a defense. The problem is, he is with his wife now. The law is very specific. I posted it. If this man wants to do her harm, what better way than having his wife sue her for criminal conversation and alleging harm in the millions of dollars? The fact that she admitted to continuing to text him and FLIRT with him until May even though he was back with his wife is an issue.
Here is another site:
http://www.ricefamilylaw.com/family/alienation-of-affection.htm


Regarding damages:






Hence why I asked about the separation agreement. You can't prove the intent was to stay apart permanently because divorce was NOT filed and he did go back to her therefore you need a separation agreement signed by them to show that the intent was to separate permanently. If they didn't sign that, you have a problem.

If the coach wants to fight this, expect your "flirty texts" to come into play to show you were still pursuing a married man.

The reason why I mentioned that damages might not be millions is because there is some relationship to actual long term damages. I think that was demonstrated by the case law you produced. Some were millions, some were 100k or less. I wonder how many of those defendents filed bankruptcy after those verdicts? The first two cases you listed were appealed but I haven't been able to find any results for the appeals. They may still be ongoing. I did find information to indicate that both of the husband's in those cases were fairly wealthy men.

I did find a later article that indicated that Cynthia Schackleford has been unable to collect any of the damages nor was she able to collect the 5k a month that her ex husband was required to pay in alimony.

Oddo vs Presser was appealed and the appellate courts upheld some of the damages but ordered a remand on the compensatory part. The following was a quote from the case (with a lot of further discussion on the subject) that is what I was looking for.

Defendant correctly notes that damages for alienation of affections and criminal conversation are limited to “ ‘the present value in money of the support, consortium, and other legally protected marital interests lost ․ through the defendant's wrong’ ” and “ ‘wrong and injury done to ․ health, feelings, or reputation,’ ” including damages for mental distress.

He was awarded 910k in compensatory damages and 500k in punitive damages and the appellate court felt that a little less than 1/3 of compensatory damages were too speculative.

I also did find one attorney's blog that stated that million dollar awards were rare, but that there was an average of 200 alienation of affection cases a year in NC. Even taking into consideration how many divorces there likely has been, that is a fairly considerable number. A small percentage, but a considerable number.

 

[nceducate]

Okay. Calling an attorney this morning. Shocking that she can sue me but stay with him.

 

[Ohiogal]

Okay. Calling an attorney this morning. Shocking that she can sue me but stay with him.

Shocking that you would sleep with and then continue flirting with a married man. Oh heck. No, it isn't. Some people are not as moral as others. Some people actually believe that married people are off limits. Others not so much. (Now there is the judgment you accused me of giving you.)

Yes she can sue you. Why? You interfered with her marriage.

 

[nceducate]

Shocking that you would sleep with and then continue flirting with a married man. Oh heck. No, it isn't. Some people are not as moral as others. Some people actually believe that married people are off limits. Others not so much. (Now there is the judgment you accused me of giving you.)

Yes she can sue you. Why? You interfered with her marriage.

I have taken responsibility for my actions...admitted that I made a mistake. Never initiated contact and only had a physical relationship with him when he was legally separated and told me they would divorce in a year.
What is shocking is that she can sue me and live with him...he has to assume no responsibility for his actions and could possibly continue with his marriage and his life at my expense. I was wrong and will take my consequences, but not without a fight.

 

[Ohiogal]

I have taken responsibility for my actions...admitted that I made a mistake. Never initiated contact and only had a physical relationship with him when he was legally separated and told me they would divorce in a year.
What is shocking is that she can sue me and live with him...he has to assume no responsibility for his actions and could possibly continue with his marriage and his life at my expense. I was wrong and will take my consequences, but not without a fight.

You are contradicting yourself. YOU did initiate contact when you FLIRTED with him through May.

 

[LdiJ]

I have taken responsibility for my actions...admitted that I made a mistake. Never initiated contact and only had a physical relationship with him when he was legally separated and told me they would divorce in a year.
What is shocking is that she can sue me and live with him...he has to assume no responsibility for his actions and could possibly continue with his marriage and his life at my expense. I was wrong and will take my consequences, but not without a fight.

You really need to get a consult with a local attorney. After reading some of the case law that OG posted (in full) it does not work the way you are imagining that it works. She does have to demonstrate damages. If she continues to be married to him and live with him that dramatically lessens any damages she can claim. Go get a consult with a local attorney who is familiar with alienation of affection suits and get the lowdown from an expert in those suits.

 

[Ohiogal]

You really need to get a consult with a local attorney. After reading some of the case law that OG posted (in full) it does not work the way you are imagining that it works. She does have to demonstrate damages. If she continues to be married to him and live with him that dramatically lessens any damages she can claim. Go get a consult with a local attorney who is familiar with alienation of affection suits and get the lowdown from an expert in those suits.

Actually PUNITIVE damages can be awarded. In other words, damages that OP must pay in order to punish her for her relationship with the married man. And actual damages may be nominal. I don't know if OP has stated that the wife ever knew about her affair with the husband.

 

[nceducate]

Actually PUNITIVE damages can be awarded. In other words, damages that OP must pay in order to punish her for her relationship with the married man. And actual damages may be nominal. I don't know if OP has stated that the wife ever knew about her affair with the husband.

she knew after he went back to her. I spok with an attorney and she said the burden of proof is on the wife to prove that they had a happy marrige prior to us seeing each other. Texts are not admissable because unless he saved them on his phone the cell phone company can not retrieve the content. And as for phone calls it will be a he said she said situation. Since the wife has stayed, the lawyer said that it would be difficult to prove alienation of affection...but not impossibe and told me to wait and see how they handle the personell situation first. She also said that because I brought claim against him, it would appear that I could counter sue for malicious prosecution seeing as how she didn't bring this up prior.

 

[LdiJ]

Actually PUNITIVE damages can be awarded. In other words, damages that OP must pay in order to punish her for her relationship with the married man. And actual damages may be nominal. I don't know if OP has stated that the wife ever knew about her affair with the husband.

Yes, but according to the case law you posted punitive damages are limited to 3 times compensatory damages, so if compensatory damages are minimal, punitive damages are not going to reach high levels.

 

[LdiJ]

she knew after he went back to her. I spok with an attorney and she said the burden of proof is on the wife to prove that they had a happy marrige prior to us seeing each other. Texts are not admissable because unless he saved them on his phone the cell phone company can not retrieve the content. And as for phone calls it will be a he said she said situation. Since the wife has stayed, the lawyer said that it would be difficult to prove alienation of affection...but not impossibe and told me to wait and see how they handle the personell situation first. She also said that because I brought claim against him, it would appear that I could counter sue for malicious prosecution seeing as how she didn't bring this up prior.

I thought that them getting back together after the separation might make any case she had weaker. You are getting some of the advice that I suspected you would get. Let this all play out and see what happens. Don't stew about it too much.

 

[Ohiogal]

she knew after he went back to her. I spok with an attorney and she said the burden of proof is on the wife to prove that they had a happy marrige prior to us seeing each other. Texts are not admissable because unless he saved them on his phone the cell phone company can not retrieve the content. And as for phone calls it will be a he said she said situation. Since the wife has stayed, the lawyer said that it would be difficult to prove alienation of affection...but not impossibe and told me to wait and see how they handle the personell situation first. She also said that because I brought claim against him, it would appear that I could counter sue for malicious prosecution seeing as how she didn't bring this up prior.

Did you ask about CRIMINAL CONVERSATION? For criminal conversation, she doesn't have to show they had a happy marriage.

 

[nceducate]

Did you ask about CRIMINAL CONVERSATION? For criminal conversation, she doesn't have to show they had a happy marriage.

Yes I did. This will be harder for me to defend but equally hard for her to prove because I have saved emails and text messages where he told me she knows we still talk but as long as he doesn't see me she is ok. Because the were legally separated prior when we did have a physical relationship she has no case there.

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes I did. This will be harder for me to defend but equally hard for her to prove because I have saved emails and text messages where he told me she knows we still talk but as long as he doesn't see me she is ok. Because the were legally separated prior when we did have a physical relationship she has no case there.

Again, criminal conversation has NOTHING to do with conversation. It has to do with sex. And the legal separation is why I asked about a separation agreement -- you never answered that question. Without a separation agreement how can you prove they were legally separated?

 

[nceducate]

Again, criminal conversation has NOTHING to do with conversation. It has to do with sex. And the legal separation is why I asked about a separation agreement -- you never answered that question. Without a separation agreement how can you prove they were legally separated?

Legal separations are public record an its on file. It can be seen via the county clerk public records on the Internet.