Grandparent Rights - Grandchild in MA, grandparents in RI

[katie791]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MA

I am not married to my daughter's father, he is in jail at the moment. We (my 16 month old daughter and I) had been seeing her father's dad and step mother somewhat regularly for a few months. Every other week for a few hours at the most. They live in RI. Life has started to get busy, I am the only one providing for my daughter- no support coming in. I have had to say no to two weekends in a row for visits because there was just no time and we were in the middle of a blizzard. The step mother is threatening grandparent rights. She is on probabtion for having a gun illegally in her home and threatening to use it against her brother. I am uncomfortable with her, and that is why when there are visits, I am always there, they are never left alone with her. Will she be able to gain visitiation to my daughter? I just am not sure how it works when the grandparent threatening is not the biological grandparent. Do I need to retain an attorney or do I wait and see if this is just what I am thinking it is, a threat to get me to come to RI for a visit. I honestly think she is trying to scare me (it is somewhat working as I am posting here!) into visiting. Sorry if this is all over the place. I have don't have to let them see her, I do it because I am big into family and want my daughter to have relationships with them- but not if they threaten me.

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MA

I am not married to my daughter's father, he is in jail at the moment. We (my 16 month old daughter and I) had been seeing her father's dad and step mother somewhat regularly for a few months. Every other week for a few hours at the most. They live in RI. Life has started to get busy, I am the only one providing for my daughter- no support coming in. I have had to say no to two weekends in a row for visits because there was just no time and we were in the middle of a blizzard. The step mother is threatening grandparent rights. She is on probabtion for having a gun illegally in her home and threatening to use it against her brother. I am uncomfortable with her, and that is why when there are visits, I am always there, they are never left alone with her. Will she be able to gain visitiation to my daughter? I just am not sure how it works when the grandparent threatening is not the biological grandparent. Do I need to retain an attorney or do I wait and see if this is just what I am thinking it is, a threat to get me to come to RI for a visit. I honestly think she is trying to scare me (it is somewhat working as I am posting here!) into visiting. Sorry if this is all over the place. I have don't have to let them see her, I do it because I am big into family and want my daughter to have relationships with them- but not if they threaten me.

Has your daughter's father been legally declared dad?

You should know that until such time that there is a shared custody agreement between you and the legal father, you decide who the child sees and when. If you don't want to continue this relationship with these people, don't.

 

[Zigner]

I think they are blowing smoke.
Why don't you invite them to come visit (and stay in a hotel, of course)?

 

[Rushia]

In doing some quick research, you do need to answer the question if Dad has been LEGALLY declared the father. Further, I cannot find anything for sure BUT usually stepgrandparents cannot sue. Grandparents are defined as a biological or legal (as in adoption) grandparent. Being married to grampa matters not.

 

[katie791]

No he has not been declared legally the father, he has signed the birth certificate, but when we parted ways, I consulted a lawyer who told me that he would have to prove paternity if he wanted shared custody (hoping I remember what he said!). He hasn't done that. Does that help me in this case, well if there is a case?

 

[Rushia]

You need to be sure if he is the legal father or not because if he has not been legally declared the father, then even his father cannot sue.

 

[EmmeRose]

I am not married to my daughter's father, he is in jail at the moment. We (my 16 month old daughter and I) had been seeing her father's dad and step mother somewhat regularly for a few months. Every other week for a few hours at the most. They live in RI. Life has started to get busy,I am the only one providing for my daughter- no support coming in. I have had to say no to two weekends in a row for visits because there was just no time and we were in the middle of a blizzard. The step mother is threatening grandparent rights. She is on probabtion for having a gun illegally in her home and threatening to use it against her brother. I am uncomfortable with her, and that is why when there are visits, I am always there, they are never left alone with her. Will she be able to gain visitiation to my daughter? I just am not sure how it works when the grandparent threatening is not the biological grandparent. Do I need to retain an attorney or do I wait and see if this is just what I am thinking it is, a threat to get me to come to RI for a visit. I honestly think she is trying to scare me (it is somewhat working as I am posting here!) into visiting. Sorry if this is all over the place. I have don't have to let them see her, I do it because I am big into family and want my daughter to have relationships with them- but not if they threaten me.

No he has not been declared legally the father, he has signed the birth certificate, but when we parted ways, I consulted a lawyer who told me that he would have to prove paternity if he wanted shared custody (hoping I remember what he said!). He hasn't done that. Does that help me in this case, well if there is a case?

There will be no support coming in because he isn't the father. He won't have to pay anything because right now, he has no child with you. If you are hoping for child support, you will need to get a court order to prove paternity. Because he's in jail, he obviously won't be paying now but unless a judge says otherwise, he'll start racking up arrears while he's in jail. It's all up to you.

 

[katie791]

Thanks, yes no support because I have not gone after him for it, he hasn't had a job so it was worthless to have a lawyer when I knew nothing would be coming in! I appreciate all the feedback.

 

[ecmst12]

Eventually he'll get a job. File now, let the arrears start building up. Don't reward him for being a deadbeat. He may not pay for a while, but at least you've done your part in holding him responsible.

 

[Zigner]

Thanks, yes no support because I have not gone after him for it, he hasn't had a job so it was worthless to have a lawyer when I knew nothing would be coming in! I appreciate all the feedback.

To expand on what ecmst12 said...

It is YOUR responsibility to be the advocate for your child. It is YOUR responsibility to make sure that your child gets all that she is entitled to.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

In post #5, the OP states the father's name appears on a BIRTH CERTIFICATE. If that is the case, he IS a legal parent.

Regardless, the GRANDFATHER would have to sue you in YOUR state for any visitation. That can be quite an expensive endeavor, so unless they have tons of money, don't worry until it actually happens.

 

[katie791]

Ahhh...that is probably a good topic for a different thread on child support. I have just been given the name of a lawyer who will work with me regarding that. I want to move South for a job opportunity, but was afraid that if I filed in MA, he wouldn't let me take her there and I would stuck here because of him. I can see him fighting me just to spite me, even though he doesn't care about her. He has verbally agreed to let me move, but now that he is in jail and I am looking at legally making him responsible, he will be a jerk about it all. But you are all right, I am her advocate and will continue to do what is best for her, and that includes getting support out of her father.

 

[Silverplum]

Ahhh...that is probably a good topic for a different thread on child support. I have just been given the name of a lawyer who will work with me regarding that. I want to move South for a job opportunity, but was afraid that if I filed in MA, he wouldn't let me take her there and I would stuck here because of him. I can see him fighting me just to spite me, even though he doesn't care about her. He has verbally agreed to let me move, but now that he is in jail and I am looking at legally making him responsible, he will be a jerk about it all. But you are all right, I am her advocate and will continue to do what is best for her, and that includes getting support out of her father.

Alrighty then.

 

[ecmst12]

I can't imagine that a judge would refuse to grant a move away even if dad tried to fight it, when he is incarcerated.

 

[latigo]

In post #5, the OP states the father's name appears on a BIRTH CERTIFICATE. If that is the case, he IS a legal parent.

I'll make you a bet TBL.

Which is that you cannot cite any recognized legal authority from any state that agrees with your conclusion.

FYI the BC as it is described by the OP - bearing the purported father's name only - would be hearsay for any purpose in determining the issue of filiation.