Is this enough to modify orders?

[Lou123]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri
Stay at home mom for 7 years lost kids to dad because judge said he would be a better coparent. Now it's been 5 months and kids cry to have to go there, I pick them up and they are dirty, clothes dirty with holes and not right size, he threatend me he would file assault charges against me if I cut my daughters hair, he refuses my phone calls half the time, he calls me all kinds of names on the phone and cusses at me, calls me an idiot, refuses time with the kids when I am off and he is working, calls new girlfriend to babysit not me, kids are exhausted and never can talk on phone, told me daycare is more important then time with their mom, when i want to talk about kids on phone he tells me whatever and hangs up on me... Do I have enough to go back and show the judge he is not the better coparent and get my kids back?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri
Stay at home mom for 7 years lost kids to dad because judge said he would be a better coparent. Now it's been 5 months and kids cry to have to go there, I pick them up and they are dirty, clothes dirty with holes and not right size, he threatend me he would file assault charges against me if I cut my daughters hair, he refuses my phone calls half the time, he calls me all kinds of names on the phone and cusses at me, calls me an idiot, refuses time with the kids when I am off and he is working, calls new girlfriend to babysit not me, kids are exhausted and never can talk on phone, told me daycare is more important then time with their mom, when i want to talk about kids on phone he tells me whatever and hangs up on me... Do I have enough to go back and show the judge he is not the better coparent and get my kids back?

You're going to need a significant change of circumstances.

Do you have ROFR in your parenting plan? Do you have specific photo visitation spelled out?

You were the primary caretaker and you had status quo on your side - what happened?

 

[Lou123]

Don't know what rofr is? No one I know can answer what happened, not even lawyer I had. I won the primary care giver and things on the "8 facts" but he won better coparent and the judge said he gets them. Even though he was never there and never had them for 24 hours alone. The smallest was not even 1 and he took them.

 

[Proserpina]

Don't know what rofr is? No one I know can answer what happened, not even lawyer I had. I won the primary care giver and things on the "8 facts" but he won better coparent and the judge said he gets them. Even though he was never there and never had them for 24 hours alone. The smallest was not even 1 and he took them.

So Dad was able to prove he was the better parent, even though you were the primary caretaker the whole time? Can you think of anything - even the smallest thing - that tipped it in Dad's favor?

ROFR - that's a mechanism where the parents are required to offer first refusal if they're going to be unable to parent. The actual time will vary. So, assuming that's the case, he has the right to leave them with his girlfriend.

 

[Lou123]

So Dad was able to prove he was the better parent, even though you were the primary caretaker the whole time? Can you think of anything - even the smallest thing - that tipped it in Dad's favor?

ROFR - that's a mechanism where the parents are required to offer first refusal if they're going to be unable to parent. The actual time will vary. So, assuming that's the case, he has the right to leave them with his girlfriend.

He was in Iraq for 9 months and filed 1 month before he left, I was angry and did not send him gifts while he was there, that was used against me. We have rofr for more then 12 hours. He was not proven better parent just he lied and said he would get along better then I would with him. He filed, took items from the home changed bank accounts and changed evertything over to his mom before he left without telling me, I was angry. I let the kids talk on the ohone to him but I didn't send him a gift on his birthday and that was used against me.

 

[Proserpina]

He was in Iraq for 9 months and filed 1 month before he left, I was angry and did not send him gifts while he was there, that was used against me. We have rofr for more then 12 hours. He was not proven better parent just he lied and said he would get along better then I would with him. He filed, took items from the home changed bank accounts and changed evertything over to his mom before he left without telling me, I was angry. I let the kids talk on the ohone to him but I didn't send him a gift on his birthday and that was used against me.

Well, that actually does indicate the court thought he was the better parent. You used your anger against him, and thwarted his attempt to have contact with his children. That is a huge issue.

So... what has changed in the past 5 months?

 

[Lou123]

Well, that actually does indicate the court thought he was the better parent. You used your anger against him, and thwarted his attempt to have contact with his children. That is a huge issue.

So... what has changed in the past 5 months?

He refuses time I request to spend with the kids, instead of going to daycare. His mom moved in with him and does all the work and he goes hunting. He tells oldest to do his laundry and he'll clean her room, they are filthy when I get them, he refuses phone calls, he makes rude remarks about me infront of the kids. If he is the better coparent wouldn't he want me to spend more time with the kids? When kids are on phone with me they do not talk but when he calls here they talk for a long time and about all kinds of things, I do not listen on their phone calls, he has all of mine on speaker and tells them what to say. He puts oldest I. The middle and makes her ask to do something instead of coming to me. When I try to talk he hangs up or walks away. Told me I'm not allowed to call school I have to ask him instead. Told me to get the hell off his property infront of the kids when I dropped them off. Tells me I can't have kids on my day off because he wants to spend time with them and the takes them to daycare all day.

 

[LdiJ]

He refuses time I request to spend with the kids, instead of going to daycare. His mom moved in with him and does all the work and he goes hunting. He tells oldest to do his laundry and he'll clean her room, they are filthy when I get them, he refuses phone calls, he makes rude remarks about me infront of the kids. If he is the better coparent wouldn't he want me to spend more time with the kids? When kids are on phone with me they do not talk but when he calls here they talk for a long time and about all kinds of things, I do not listen on their phone calls, he has all of mine on speaker and tells them what to say. He puts oldest I. The middle and makes her ask to do something instead of coming to me. When I try to talk he hangs up or walks away. Told me I'm not allowed to call school I have to ask him instead. Told me to get the hell off his property infront of the kids when I dropped them off. Tells me I can't have kids on my day off because he wants to spend time with them and the takes them to daycare all day.

You have every right to call the school if you choose to do so.

What is your current parenting schedule?

 

[Lou123]

You have every right to call the school if you choose to do so.

What is your current parenting schedule?

1st and 3rd weekends, alternate holidays, I get summer he gets weekends. I went from a stay at home mom to seeing my kids 4 days a month.

 

[LdiJ]

1st and 3rd weekends, alternate holidays, I get summer he gets weekends. I went from a stay at home mom to seeing my kids 4 days a month.

What you maybe need to do is take it back to court to get it modified so that you get the children during some weekday time as well. How far apart do you and dad live?

 

[Lou123]

What you maybe need to do is take it back to court to get it modified so that you get the children during some weekday time as well. How far apart do you and dad live?

2hours, won't work oldest in school.

 

[Ohiogal]

You want more time with your children? Move closer to the children.

You are complaining about things that legitimately don't matter -- especially with that distance. Dad is supposed to let you have ROFR when you are two hours from him? He is not supposed to have his girlfriend or mother watch them? That is not logical.

 

[Lou123]

You want more time with your children? Move closer to the children.

You are complaining about things that legitimately don't matter -- especially with that distance. Dad is supposed to let you have ROFR when you are two hours from him? He is not supposed to have his girlfriend or mother watch them? That is not logical.

If he knows he has to work Tuesday and has no one to watch i think he should call me first is all I am saying.

 

[Ohiogal]

If he knows he has to work Tuesday and has no one to watch i think he should call me first is all I am saying.

So you would then drive two hours to get the children and bring them two hours back to your house and then drive them two hours back to dad's? You are being completely illogical and irrational. This is about a power trip from you. You don't have a ROFR for eight hours. Why and how do you think that is in the best interest of the children to spend six hours in a car? Seriously, it is not. The fact that you want to beat dad over the head with it shows that you don't want to coparent. You want to act like a child and put your needs in front of your children's needs. That is not a good thing and is extremely selfish.

 

[Lou123]

So you would then drive two hours to get the children and bring them two hours back to your house and then drive them two hours back to dad's? You are being completely illogical and irrational. This is about a power trip from you. You don't have a ROFR for eight hours. Why and how do you think that is in the best interest of the children to spend six hours in a car? Seriously, it is not. The fact that you want to beat dad over the head with it shows that you don't want to coparent. You want to act like a child and put your needs in front of your children's needs. That is not a good thing and is extremely selfish.

No I would take them to my sisters 20 min away and spend time with her family while I had them. Not selfish...