noncustodial parent questions about cell phone

[msmom1606]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Mississippi
I am the custodial parent to my 12 year old daughter. Her father has been mostly absent since our divorce 11 years ago. We moved to Mississippi and he has only seen her 4 times, 2 of those times was when i brought her to him in Missouri. The last ruling in court stated that he could only see her with myself or my parents present and he was not allowed to take her out of the state. He hadn't attempted to contact her for 4 years since that ruling. He has been calling since March 2-3 times a month. She has refused to talk to him all but two of those times, when I forced her to talk. She has a cell phone of her own, but she lied to him and told him she didn't. She told me later that she didn't want him to have her number. Last night he called and she would not say more than hello, and then handed me back the phone. He then told me he was thinking about getting her a phone where he could call her, and she could call him. I told him that it would be foolish to spend money on it if she wont talk to him, but I didn't tell him she already has a phone. What are my legal obligations regarding this, I don't want to break a rule or go against her wishes.

 

[stealth2]

Well, all I can say is at 12? My kids did as they were told. Heck - they did as I told them until they turned 18, when it came to custody issues. Is there anything wrt phone calls?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Mississippi
I am the custodial parent to my 12 year old daughter. Her father has been mostly absent since our divorce 11 years ago. We moved to Mississippi and he has only seen her 4 times, 2 of those times was when i brought her to him in Missouri. The last ruling in court stated that he could only see her with myself or my parents present and he was not allowed to take her out of the state. He hadn't attempted to contact her for 4 years since that ruling. He has been calling since March 2-3 times a month. She has refused to talk to him all but two of those times, when I forced her to talk. She has a cell phone of her own, but she lied to him and told him she didn't. She told me later that she didn't want him to have her number. Last night he called and she would not say more than hello, and then handed me back the phone. He then told me he was thinking about getting her a phone where he could call her, and she could call him. I told him that it would be foolish to spend money on it if she wont talk to him, but I didn't tell him she already has a phone. What are my legal obligations regarding this, I don't want to break a rule or go against her wishes.

Unless there are specifics regarding phone calls in the orders she does not have to talk to him on the phone. If there are specifics regarding phone calls that doesn't mean that he has to be given her cell phone number, it just means that he has to be able to reach her on A phone. Your phone or your landline is perfectly acceptable for that as long as you do not interfere or imped dad's access.

I can understand why she doesn't want to talk to him, since he has shown so little interest in her in the last 11 years. However, it does seem like he has realized the error of his ways and is trying to make contact now, and you really should encourage her to give him a chance. You might even want to consider getting her some counseling so that she has a neutral person to discuss her feelings with regarding her father.

 

[msmom1606]

Well, all I can say is at 12? My kids did as they were told. Heck - they did as I told them until they turned 18, when it came to custody issues. Is there anything wrt phone calls?

She does do as she is told, She is a straight A student, and a great kid. She has dealt with him coming into her life every 2 to 4 years, promising the moon, promising to be a Dad, for him to stop contacting her completely, leaving her disappointed. It is extremely hard as a mother to force a child to try to develop a relationship, knowing the chances of her getting hurt are very high.

I am not sure what your last question means?? wrt?

 

[msmom1606]

Unless there are specifics regarding phone calls in the orders she does not have to talk to him on the phone. If there are specifics regarding phone calls that doesn't mean that he has to be given her cell phone number, it just means that he has to be able to reach her on A phone. Your phone or your landline is perfectly acceptable for that as long as you do not interfere or imped dad's access.

I can understand why she doesn't want to talk to him, since he has shown so little interest in her in the last 11 years. However, it does seem like he has realized the error of his ways and is trying to make contact now, and you really should encourage her to give him a chance. You might even want to consider getting her some counseling so that she has a neutral person to discuss her feelings with regarding her father.

Thank you for your response, it is very informative. I really have tried to encourage her, but I am also scared to see her get hurt again. Counseling sure wouldn't hurt.

 

[Ohiogal]

She does do as she is told, She is a straight A student, and a great kid. She has dealt with him coming into her life every 2 to 4 years, promising the moon, promising to be a Dad, for him to stop contacting her completely, leaving her disappointed. It is extremely hard as a mother to force a child to try to develop a relationship, knowing the chances of her getting hurt are very high.

I am not sure what your last question means?? wrt?

When did you move away from dad? Did you get permission of the court? Did you get dad's permission? How often have you paid to transport your daughter to Missouri?

 

[LdiJ]

When did you move away from dad? Did you get permission of the court? Did you get dad's permission? How often have you paid to transport your daughter to Missouri?

Does any of that really matter 11 years later?

 

[msmom1606]

When did you move away from dad? Did you get permission of the court? Did you get dad's permission? How often have you paid to transport your daughter to Missouri?

We moved immediately after the divorce, it was in our divorce papers that we were moving, so he and the court were aware and it was granted. I have paid both times, for our travel to Missouri. Why is this relevant?

 

[Silverplum]

We moved immediately after the divorce, it was in our divorce papers that we were moving, so he and the court were aware and it was granted. I have paid both times, for our travel to Missouri. Why is this relevant?

Because you came here asking for advice and a family law attorney asked you questions.

 

[msmom1606]

Because you came here asking for advice and a family law attorney asked you questions.

Wow. Thanks for the sarcasm, please be aware that treating someone rudely doesn't make you a better person. Hope you have a great day, and choose to show kindness, and thoughtfulness in the future.

 

[Silverplum]

Wow. Thanks for the sarcasm, please be aware that treating someone rudely doesn't make you a better person. Hope you have a great day, and choose to show kindness, and thoughtfulness in the future.

Thanks for the disrespect to the advisor/s here. Hope you have the day you deserve, and that in future you learn to be a more grateful person.

 

[msmom1606]

Thanks for the disrespect to the advisor/s here. Hope you have the day you deserve, and that in future you learn to be a more grateful person.

I was not showing disrepect to anyone. If you would read all of my responses, you would see that I did thank the advisor who took the time to give a factual answer. I plan on having a wonderful day, and hope you do as well.

 

[stealth2]

Oh criminy.

 

[Ohiogal]

We moved immediately after the divorce, it was in our divorce papers that we were moving, so he and the court were aware and it was granted. I have paid both times, for our travel to Missouri. Why is this relevant?

Because quite frankly you should be responsible for all ravel to Missouri. If you only paid twice, then you are to blame for the lack of visitation with dad. Hence, you can't blame dad for his lack of visits. YOU need to look in the mirror and realize your role in depriving dad of contact. And you seem content to continue depriving him by not having your child talk to him. But whatevs.

 

[Ladyback1]

Because quite frankly you should be responsible for all ravel to Missouri. If you only paid twice, then you are to blame for the lack of visitation with dad. Hence, you can't blame dad for his lack of visits. YOU need to look in the mirror and realize your role in depriving dad of contact. And you seem content to continue depriving him by not having your child talk to him. But whatevs.

I disagree slightly: If dad did not assist mom in making plans for visit, then dad shares a great deal of the blame as well.

Mom should not just show up for one week/weekend, and tell Dad, "we're here, this is your visit!".

If Dad has not tried to coordinate with Mom...

Of course, my opinion is based solely on what Mom has written (and we only have her story to go on...)