grandparents rights ohio

[deseree]

grandparents

Okay let us defend ourselves, our son deployed last april to Iraq we went to see him off in North Carolina, his wife said she was packed and ready to come to ohio to stay with her parents.
Well we get to the apartment and there are dirty clothes all over the place, dirty dishes in the cupboard granddaughter was not even a year old sleeping in a bouncer by her mother didnt even have a baby bed all the furniure was still there all cupboards where still food moldy refrigerator open closet door and dirty clothes were stuffed in there like no tomorrow.
so we packed up what we could and hauled back to ohio for her and then when her mother got down there two days later they took the rest of it to a pawn shop..
she would not allow the baby to have any water or any juice.
just formula.
baby cried and fussed all the time said she was waiting until her husband to return to give her new foods and juice.
so here we are our son going to afghanistan, dirty clothes all in the babys room couldnt even walk, dirty dishes everywhere carpet had food stains all over it.
breakfast for the two year old baby is a protein bar..and daughter in law cooks no meals, either fast food, frozen pizza and french fries for the grandaughter and lots of pop.
she is know staying with her parents, they eat the same way pizza, wings, pop friench fries. no home cooked meals. the grandfather over there drinks all the time and smokes pot...
but I guess our little comments was not in the babys best interest and also our son is going along with her as far as not letting us see the baby who only lives a mile away....but the daughter in law can be on facebook every 15 minutes saying how bored she is....
Thanks for all the advice.....

 

[IrishLady47]

Mmm. So, if you'd kept your comments to yourself and instead told Mommy that she could drop the baby off with you anytime and go visit with friends--maybe you'd not only have had the chance to see baby--but feed the little darling healthy foods! And, in a clean place!!

Exactly what did expressing your (unwanted) opinion gain?

 

[Proserpina]

OP, you're interfering.

Seriously, you are.

 

[liandrajade]

im going to play devil's advocate here for a moment...

ok so based on what you are saying, it does NOT sound like great conditions but at the same time what does your SON say about all this? obviously before he left on active duty, didnt he contribute and raise this child too and was living there with his wife?

Now look im all for taking care of your children, im nowhere near perfect but at the same time how do we know if everything is how you say it is? you're making some pretty harsh allegations that amount to child neglect, is that what you are trying to say? that both your daughter in law and son are unfit neglectful parents?

how old is everyone, your son, daughter in law, grandchild etc....

 

[Proserpina]

im going to play devil's advocate here for a moment...

ok so based on what you are saying, it does NOT sound like great conditions but at the same time what does your SON say about all this? obviously before he left on active duty, didnt he contribute and raise this child too and was living there with his wife?

Now look im all for taking care of your children, im nowhere near perfect but at the same time how do we know if everything is how you say it is? you're making some pretty harsh allegations that amount to child neglect, is that what you are trying to say? that both your daughter in law and son are unfit neglectful parents?

how old is everyone, your son, daughter in law, grandchild etc....

And if that's the case...have CPS been called?

 

[ecmst12]

Perhaps if you would treat mom with some respect, she would let you be part of her family.

 

[liandrajade]

And if that's the case...have CPS been called?

you need to to answer that honestly OP b/c this is not a joke, there is a huuuuge difference between an OPINION on how things should be done and how things are REALLY being done...case in point, my own mother called cps on me for what she "thought" was neglect....and that "thought" was that I have too many pets and that my house was unsanitary and unsafe....you know what her "thoughts" of unsanitary and unsafe were???

that I had pets that she doesnt like and in her "opinion" i have "too many" pets....but i have a pretty large house and what right does she have to say i have too many pets? my house, my bills

 

[frylover]

As stated, if you really feel THAT strongly about this, you could call CPS. And if the home is as filthy and unsanitary as you claim, they might do something. But a lot of what you are complaining about are parenting choices. Her food choices for the children, for example. She is not required to provide the type of meals you want her to. And the "no juice or water" thing....I don't think you specified the baby's age, but I was told by my pediatrician that an infant with an adequate formula intake did not need extra water unless it was very hot, and then very small amounts were sufficient. Juice is not necessary, either.

You are calling this "revenge", but think about it like this. Would you like it if someone came into YOUR home and criticized everything about your home and your parenting abilities, would you want that person around? Maybe she just doesn't want you slamming her again.

 

[AGirlAndHerCrow]

May I throw my 2 cents in:

What OP said sounds similar to what my husband's grandparents say every time they come to our apartment. They come unannounced and at inconvient times. Also add to that, they call every relative about it. Here is an example:

This is the truth:
I had clothes sitting everywhere in my sons room, all over the floor and drawers open and a garbage bag sitting there, half filled...I was organizing what fits and what doesn't. What I can take to the consignment store and what was getting returned to my cousin-in-laws. The changing table was relatively empty, no diapers put out, but unopened box next to it.

Our bedroom had a pile of blankets in the corner that needed to go to a laundramat...going the next day. They were bunched up, they're laundry! Dirty clothes on floor in piles: darks, lights, and whites. laundry basket ready to go down to the building washing machine as soon as our neighbor got her stuff out.

Bags in the kitchen everywhere from wal-mart, just got back. Stuff all over the counters...like i said just got back from wal-mart. Dishes and dirty bottles in the sink.

Bathroom had towels and clothes on the floor.

Livingroom, coffee table needed to be wiped down and the carpet vaccumed again because ours is broken and had to borrow one at the time. Two empty pop cans on the coffee table

They come in and say:
Clothes are EVERYWHERE!!!! They are dirty and moldy and they smell!!! They haven't vaccumed in months!!! (FYI the pos vaccum they gave us broke a month later and had to send it off to get it fixed and had to borrow the neighbor's vaccum). There are empty pop cans everywhere and the baby doesn't have a clean bottle or clothes. His bedroom is a death trap. Their bedroom is terrible!! Their carpet is stained!!! (FYI, one stain...from the previous residents that doesn't seem to come out and have been there the whole time we've been here). All of the towels are laying on the bathroom floor! Food everywhere...IT'S PURE MADNESS!!! They have a new laptop but the baby doesn't have diapers!!! Garbage all over!! (Empty wal-mart bags and stuff from the box the laptop came in).

We deal with this every time they come over and phone calls from relatives threatening to call cps themselves. We have pretty much banned them when they started inspecting everything, once a week, including OUR BEDROOM and not letting them past the door jam. I'm not a teenager that lives at home with my parents, we have an apartment that we pay rent and utilities for and put food in our fridge...they don't contribute a penny towards our finances (though they think they should stick their noses in them).

They loved telling everyone we neglected our son because he had "diaper rash"...it was redness from an allergic reaction to the diapers they bought and kept buying, since we are sssooo poor and spend our money on ourselves::. Every time a diaper leaks in their presence they tell people we only change him about three times a day. The worst was when my husband got laid off and stayed at home full-time and went to school online while I worked and went to school...they came over nearly everyday to make sure the baby "was taken care of" and sometimes would stay for hours until I came home.

I'd bet anything that OP exaggerated what she saw. OR she really wants to trash her daughter in law. Poor kids, when they grow up they will see grandma for what she is.

 

[liandrajade]

May I throw my 2 cents in:

What OP said sounds similar to what my husband's grandparents say every time they come to our apartment. They come unannounced and at inconvient times. Also add to that, they call every relative about it. Here is an example:

This is the truth:
I had clothes sitting everywhere in my sons room, all over the floor and drawers open and a garbage bag sitting there, half filled...I was organizing what fits and what doesn't. What I can take to the consignment store and what was getting returned to my cousin-in-laws. The changing table was relatively empty, no diapers put out, but unopened box next to it.

Our bedroom had a pile of blankets in the corner that needed to go to a laundramat...going the next day. They were bunched up, they're laundry! Dirty clothes on floor in piles: darks, lights, and whites. laundry basket ready to go down to the building washing machine as soon as our neighbor got her stuff out.

Bags in the kitchen everywhere from wal-mart, just got back. Stuff all over the counters...like i said just got back from wal-mart. Dishes and dirty bottles in the sink.

Bathroom had towels and clothes on the floor.

Livingroom, coffee table needed to be wiped down and the carpet vaccumed again because ours is broken and had to borrow one at the time. Two empty pop cans on the coffee table

They come in and say:
Clothes are EVERYWHERE!!!! They are dirty and moldy and they smell!!! They haven't vaccumed in months!!! (FYI the pos vaccum they gave us broke a month later and had to send it off to get it fixed and had to borrow the neighbor's vaccum). There are empty pop cans everywhere and the baby doesn't have a clean bottle or clothes. His bedroom is a death trap. Their bedroom is terrible!! Their carpet is stained!!! (FYI, one stain...from the previous residents that doesn't seem to come out and have been there the whole time we've been here). All of the towels are laying on the bathroom floor! Food everywhere...IT'S PURE MADNESS!!! They have a new laptop but the baby doesn't have diapers!!! Garbage all over!! (Empty wal-mart bags and stuff from the box the laptop came in).

We deal with this every time they come over and phone calls from relatives threatening to call cps themselves. We have pretty much banned them when they started inspecting everything, once a week, including OUR BEDROOM and not letting them past the door jam. I'm not a teenager that lives at home with my parents, we have an apartment that we pay rent and utilities for and put food in our fridge...they don't contribute a penny towards our finances (though they think they should stick their noses in them).

I'd bet anything that OP exaggerated what she saw.

AGREE 100000000000% if im in the middle of cleaning and you walk in my house and theres a bucket of dirty mop water all of a sudden im a neglectful parent???.....um i just finished mopping!!!!....or even better, 7pm dinner is done, everyone just finished eating, dishes in the sink, stove still has pots, baby just had her bottle....oh wait now im letting my child live in filth????....OP make sure you are 100% sure you know what you are seeing and getting yourself into here....the fact that your son is agreeing with her actions says a lot....

 

[AGirlAndHerCrow]

AGREE 100000000000% if im in the middle of cleaning and you walk in my house and theres a bucket of dirty mop water all of a sudden im a neglectful parent???.....um i just finished mopping!!!!....or even better, 7pm dinner is done, everyone just finished eating, dishes in the sink, stove still has pots, baby just had her bottle....oh wait now im letting my child live in filth????....OP make sure you are 100% sure you know what you are seeing and getting yourself into here....the fact that your son is agreeing with her actions says a lot....

Also...exactly how does she know that her daughter in law's father drinks all the time and smokes pot? Is she there 24/7?

Also, how does she know this is how the house is all the time? or that she doesn't cook? Is she there 24/7?

 

[liandrajade]

Also...exactly how does she know that her daughter in law's father drinks all the time and smokes pot? Is she there 24/7?

Also, how does she know this is how the house is all the time? or that she doesn't cook? Is she there 24/7?

oh you mean how my mother told cps i let my pet monitor lizards run freely around my house, i let them bite my children and that they make a mess in the house....

really...you mean the same monitor lizards that REQUIRE HEAT CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENTS and cant be taken out of their tanks unless the overall air temperature in the house is 75 degrees?....oh and they can magically open their enclosures....you know the enclosures/tanks with the 40 lb weight resistance clip locks that an ADULT cannot open without effort but my kids opened it and let the lizards out....you know to run around and let the lizards bite them....

she sees this all with her magical psychic juju powers.....oh my favorite is my "neglected" 1 yr old...oh yes the same 1yr old whose nickname is Tubby Chubby, is 20-25lbs and you cannot eat in front of her b/c she will DEMAND whatever you are eating and even AFTER SHE JUST HAD HER OWN BREAKFAST!!!....

example, my tubby had a whole bottle of formula, cereal and then some whole grain baby snacks she likes....not even an hour later, sees me with my coffee and toast and is screaming her head off b/c she wants my toast! oh but im neglecting her, oh wait...now im OVERFEEDING her right???.....ugh....the pregnant one is going to bed now, too many morons today on here.....

 

[LdiJ]

Also...exactly how does she know that her daughter in law's father drinks all the time and smokes pot? Is she there 24/7?

Also, how does she know this is how the house is all the time? or that she doesn't cook? Is she there 24/7?

She wasn't even talking about the grandparent's house. She was talking about the apartment that her son and daughter in law shared before the son got deployed and the daughter in law moved back to Ohio.

And the condition of the apartment was in the middle of moving.

She also has no idea what the children are fed on a regular basis.

 

[AGirlAndHerCrow]

Okay let us defend ourselves, our son deployed last april to Iraq we went to see him off in North Carolina, his wife said she was packed and ready to come to ohio to stay with her parents.
Well we get to the apartment and there are dirty clothes all over the place, dirty dishes in the cupboard granddaughter was not even a year old sleeping in a bouncer by her mother didnt even have a baby bed all the furniure was still there all cupboards where still food moldy refrigerator open closet door and dirty clothes were stuffed in there like no tomorrow.
so we packed up what we could and hauled back to ohio for her and then when her mother got down there two days later they took the rest of it to a pawn shop..
she would not allow the baby to have any water or any juice.
just formula.
baby cried and fussed all the time said she was waiting until her husband to return to give her new foods and juice.
so here we are our son going to afghanistan, dirty clothes all in the babys room couldnt even walk, dirty dishes everywhere carpet had food stains all over it.
breakfast for the two year old baby is a protein bar..and daughter in law cooks no meals, either fast food, frozen pizza and french fries for the grandaughter and lots of pop.she is know staying with her parents, they eat the same way pizza, wings, pop friench fries. no home cooked meals. the grandfather over there drinks all the time and smokes pot...but I guess our little comments was not in the babys best interest and also our son is going along with her as far as not letting us see the baby who only lives a mile away....but the daughter in law can be on facebook every 15 minutes saying how bored she is....
Thanks for all the advice.....

LD you may have missed it...that's what I was referring too.

 

[LdiJ]

LD you may have missed it...that's what I was referring too.

She still doesn't know what the children are fed. She is not AROUND the children to know that.