What is the grandparent's rights

[MomonOwn]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Louisiana

Hello ~ I have never had a close relationship with my mother, she was an emotionally abusive woman (still is), who I cut ties with years ago when I joined the military and moved away. She currently lives in Virginia and I live in Louisiana. She was not present when I got married, nor was she present at the birth of either of my two children (ages 15 and 11 now). In an attempt to put out the "olive branch", we visited her twice in my children's life time, the most recent being in 2009 where my children witnessed her verbal abuse of their cousins and my son (the oldest) came away saying "I never want to see that woman again, something is wrong with her" I have very limited contact with her, basically through email which she constantly sends me emails at my work address, mostly which I ignore. I divorced my first husband in 2007 and remarried in 2011. I did notify her of my engagement at the time, but she said nothing for months and when I finally asked what the problem was with acknowledging it, she went on a tirade (written in email which I have kept in a file) on how I was a rotten person who no one could love and I was only marrying so someone could take care of my kids and then she went on an attack of my fiance (who she didn't even know) saying he was nothing more then a factory worker (he's a process operator at a refinery, not a factory worker), he's not a home owner because he only owned a condo (don't understand her logic there) and he was only marrying me so someone could take care of his "retarded" son (his son, who lives with his mother and visits us, has down's syndrome) because, again, no one could ever love someone like me. Now, how she found out this information about where he lived or his son, I have no clue, since I never told her anything. But that is beside the point. I told her that I was through with her abusive rants and wanted nothing more to do with her. She continued to send birthday and holiday cards to my children, even though my son wouldn't even open his, just throw it in the trash. We moved to a new house in December and I did not give her the new address, although the mail was being forwarded. I guess the forwarding has run it's course because she just emailed me this morning going on about how I'm blocking her because the card she sent for my daughter's birthday was returned to her and what is my new address. I simply replied that I preferred to not give her my address and she went off on a rant about how I'm trying to hide something and I can't afford anything I claim to own and I tell tall tales to make myself look good, etc and so forth. Then she started in on grandparents rights and she has the right to see my children whenever she wants. I did research the laws in Louisiana and it looks like it would be up to the court to decide if the grandparent was mentally healthy and if the child wants to visit with that grandparent. But I'm not sure since she lives in Virginia. I'm guessing Louisiana laws would apply since my children and I live here. Can anyone help me understand if this unstable person can force herself into my childrens' lives? Thank you very much for any input.

 

[Zigner]

Ignore the crazy woman. If you get actual documents relating to a legal matter, spend a few bucks for a consultation with a local attorney.

 

[Just Blue]

Ignore the crazy woman. If you get actual documents relating to a legal matter, spend a few bucks for a consultation with a local attorney.

Agree. Ignore the nut job. Sorry your mother is like she is.

 

[MomonOwn]

Yes it was a joy growing up under her influence - I was an only child, my father left when I was 9 and there were no cousins, aunts, uncles, nothing to watch over me. I remember her having to get a job after he left and that p*ssed her off highly. And then after working, she'd go out to bars until they closed, which meant I came home from school to an empty house and had to cook my own dinner and put myself to bed. She was never supportive of me, never "pushed" me to excel in anything, belittled me all the time... although in public she would praise me and act really proud of me, which would confuse the hell out of me. Took a lot of mistakes on my part as an adult and lots of therapy to realize where my problems were rooted. I truly believe that just because someone uses the title "mother" does not mean they know how to be one, and that is definitely the case with her. I would rather she stay as far from my children as possible. I suppose if she ever did try to do something in the court I could always ask for a restraining order and show the history of nutty emails and abusive behavior she has displayed over the years. Interestingly, my current husband has discovered that his father is very much like my mother and he didn't "see" it until he saw how my mother treated me, then one day his father sent some hateful email (the father was actually still friends with my husband's first ex wife on facebook, one that he had a very bad marriage with and wanted nothing to do with her - not the one he has his son with - and had asked the father to not be friends with her, but the father said he'd be friends with whomever he chose), the email detailed all this nasty stuff that the ex wife had told the father about my husband and he added all this stuff about my husband's single years and all the women he was with - he copied me on the email. Now we both know that he was trying to stir sh*t, but what he didn't know what that my husband had told me everything about his past, the good, the bad and the extremely ugly, so nothing the father said shocked or upset me. But my husband said "he's just like your mother and I have no room in my life for that kind of BS", so he told the father he was done with him and good bye. It's a shame when parents can't be parents, but on the other hand it has taught me what NOT to do as a mother to my children.

Thanks for the input

 

[stealth2]

Please do us all a favor before you post again. Learn to use paragraphs. Your posts are hard to read otherwise.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Your mother would have to file for rights in YOUR state. She would have to show that the children would be harmed by NOT having a relationship with her. Since they don't have one, no harm done, right?

If you receive anything legal, come back.

 

[Ohiogal]

What state granted you custody of your children after you divorced their father? Does the children's father still live in that state? If so, what does the children's father think about your mother?

 

[Ohiogal]

Your mother would have to file for rights in YOUR state. She would have to show that the children would be harmed by NOT having a relationship with her. Since they don't have one, no harm done, right?

If you receive anything legal, come back.

NOT necessarily true. Her mother would have to file in the state that has jurisdiction over the children and sue both mom and dad of the children.

 

[LdiJ]

NOT necessarily true. Her mother would have to file in the state that has jurisdiction over the children and sue both mom and dad of the children.

While this statement is correct, since a grandparent visitation case would be a separate case from any divorce or custody case, (at least in most states) a gpv case would have to be filed in the state of the children's residence. Therefore it IS possible for one state to have jurisdiction over matters between a mother and father, but a separate state could have jurisdiction for a gpv case.

 

[MomonOwn]

Louisiana granted joint custody to my ex and me. And my ex does not like my mother at all, she was always nasty to him, calling him a loser and a low life. When I blocked her on facebook, she tried to friend him on there and he text me saying "why is your crazy mother trying to friend me?! I don't want that nut in my life or knowing my business" and denied her request.

This is most likely a moot point anyway as she is one of those old people who knows everything and claims the law is on her side always. She's always saying she's going to sue this person or that for some injustice, but she never does a thing. My therapist said she displays classic narcissistic qualities.

 

[LdiJ]

Louisiana granted joint custody to my ex and me. And my ex does not like my mother at all, she was always nasty to him, calling him a loser and a low life. When I blocked her on facebook, she tried to friend him on there and he text me saying "why is your crazy mother trying to friend me?! I don't want that nut in my life or knowing my business" and denied her request.

This is most likely a moot point anyway as she is one of those old people who knows everything and claims the law is on her side always. She's always saying she's going to sue this person or that for some injustice, but she never does a thing. My therapist said she displays classic narcissistic qualities.

I wouldn't worry about it then. Clearly Louisiana would have jursidiction and your mother would have to spend the money to hire an attorney in Louisiana to file the case for her. Its doesn't sound very likely that she would follow through on something like that.

 

[Ohiogal]

While this statement is correct, since a grandparent visitation case would be a separate case from any divorce or custody case, (at least in most states) a gpv case would have to be filed in the state of the children's residence. Therefore it IS possible for one state to have jurisdiction over matters between a mother and father, but a separate state could have jurisdiction for a gpv case.

WRONG. Only one court has jurisdiction over custody/visitation cases. You need to understand jurisdiction but you do not. The UCCJEA allows ONLY one court to have jurisdiction over the children's cases. Try to comprehend that. The only way that changes is if ABUSE is involved and a court handles the abuse/domestic violence issues. Then that court ASSUMES all jurisdiction over the children.

 

[LdiJ]

WRONG. Only one court has jurisdiction over custody/visitation cases. You need to understand jurisdiction but you do not. The UCCJEA allows ONLY one court to have jurisdiction over the children's cases. Try to comprehend that. The only way that changes is if ABUSE is involved and a court handles the abuse/domestic violence issues. Then that court ASSUMES all jurisdiction over the children.

OG, I have worked with literally thousands of parents going through gpv cases, going back to the early 90's. You simply are not correct on that particular issue. I can think of several dozen cases, off the top of my head where jurisdiction was in one state for parent vs parent issues, but jurisdiction was in another state for a gpv case. I can think of at least 1/2 a dozen, again off the top of my head, where the gps fought that and tried to keep jurisdiction in the original state for the gpv case as well, and lost on the issue.

Now, I do agree that in states where the gps are permitted (or required) to intervene in an already existing custody case in order to file for gpv, that those states do insist on retaining jursidiction for gpv cases as well. However, in the majority of states gpv cases are completely separate cases.

 

[Ohiogal]

OG, I have worked with literally thousands of parents going through gpv cases, going back to the early 90's. You simply are not correct on that particular issue. I can think of several dozen cases, off the top of my head where jurisdiction was in one state for parent vs parent issues, but jurisdiction was in another state for a gpv case. I can think of at least 1/2 a dozen, again off the top of my head, where the gps fought that and tried to keep jurisdiction in the original state for the gpv case as well, and lost on the issue.

Now, I do agree that in states where the gps are permitted (or required) to intervene in an already existing custody case in order to file for gpv, that those states do insist on retaining jursidiction for gpv cases as well. However, in the majority of states gpv cases are completely separate cases.

Never mind. Try backing it up with law. Please do so.