Ex fiance retaining things I purchased and want returned.

[mpizzola]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania (non-Philadelphia). I was engaged to a woman for a period of 4 months at the end of a 2 year relationship, the 2nd year of which we lived together. I paid off her credit cards for 10000 dollars, renovated her home for 15000, and paid many other routine bills for her sole benefit. I was told all these expenditures on my part equated to "gifts" and I had no legal recourse to seek remuneration. Now I am trying to have returned an expensive appliance (which was intended as a gift) and a bedframe purchased as part of a new mattress set bought only in my name. I am about tired of this woman benefitting from me everytime I turn around, especially after considering her treatment of me in our end. So I'm bitter (admittedly) and want those and any other items I ever gave her returned. Do I have a leg to stand on? If I have no rights to the appliance or bedframe, why does she seem to? Can someone help me out here?

 

[Zigner]

If it's a gift, you have no right to have it returned.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania (non-Philadelphia). I was engaged to a woman for a period of 4 months at the end of a 2 year relationship, the 2nd year of which we lived together. I paid off her credit cards for 10000 dollars, renovated her home for 15000, and paid many other routine bills for her sole benefit. I was told all these expenditures on my part equated to "gifts" and I had no legal recourse to seek remuneration. Now I am trying to have returned an expensive appliance (which was intended as a gift) and a bedframe purchased as part of a new mattress set bought only in my name. I am about tired of this woman benefitting from me everytime I turn around, especially after considering her treatment of me in our end. So I'm bitter (admittedly) and want those and any other items I ever gave her returned. Do I have a leg to stand on? If I have no rights to the appliance or bedframe, why does she seem to? Can someone help me out here?

You were very generous. You have no rights to have everything you ever gave her returned. Those items are hers. She has rights because you GAVE them to her. You even admitted it here. Now I am sure the story will change.

 

[single317dad]

Next time you pay off a potential spouse's credit cards and furnish her house, have her sign a loan contract agreeing to repay the money.

You stated that you lived together, yet currently she has possession of the items and you do not. How did that situation come about?

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

You are about 30k to far on the downside of any recovery. Hope she was good in bed. In the future, don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of. You can go to Canada for a prostitute cheaper.

 

[eerelations]

You are about 30k to far on the downside of any recovery. Hope she was good in bed. In the future, don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of. You can go to Canada for a prostitute cheaper.

Why would he have to go to Canada if he wanted a prostitute? What's wrong with a good ol' American hooker?

 

[mpizzola]

You were very generous. You have no rights to have everything you ever gave her returned. Those items are hers. She has rights because you GAVE them to her. You even admitted it here. Now I am sure the story will change.

No the story does not change, but thanks for the sarcasm. I gave her things because I loved her, and moreso because I trusted her and our future together as my wife. When she informed me that she fell in love with another man and was leaving me for him, I began to regret having spent so much of my income, not to mention my time and my father's time renovating a house with the intention of renting it out as we bought another home, paying off her debt (as "our" debt) to be set-up for a stable financial future, and generally paying for her and her childrens (my supposed family) betterment. Now on top of all of that, I can't even recoup those few items that I would use myself, all because she just "decided" she wanted to keep them? She returned the bed she screwed another man in while I was in Afghanistan, so that I can pay for it, though I will never again use it. You tell me I have no rights to things I bought for a household I lived in and that evil woman has all the rights? The story doesn't change buddy, it is just yet another example of a person getting ripped off by unscrupulous scumbags who lie and cheat their way through life.

 

[Zigner]

No the story does not change, but thanks for the sarcasm. I gave her things because I loved her, and moreso because I trusted her and our future together as my wife. When she informed me that she fell in love with another man and was leaving me for him, I began to regret having spent so much of my income, not to mention my time and my father's time renovating a house with the intention of renting it out as we bought another home, paying off her debt (as "our" debt) to be set-up for a stable financial future, and generally paying for her and her childrens (my supposed family) betterment. Now on top of all of that, I can't even recoup those few items that I would use myself, all because she just "decided" she wanted to keep them? She returned the bed she screwed another man in while I was in Afghanistan, so that I can pay for it, though I will never again use it. You tell me I have no rights to things I bought for a household I lived in and that evil woman has all the rights? The story doesn't change buddy, it is just yet another example of a person getting ripped off by unscrupulous scumbags who lie and cheat their way through life.

AGAIN, you have no right to demand that gifts be returned. The ONLY gift that you could reasonably expect to have returned is an engagement ring...but that's not what we're talking about here.

 

[mpizzola]

Next time you pay off a potential spouse's credit cards and furnish her house, have her sign a loan contract agreeing to repay the money.

You stated that you lived together, yet currently she has possession of the items and you do not. How did that situation come about?

That situation came about when she informed me of her having fallen in love with another man. When I had no choice but to leave the home. I currently am homeless. I got those items that were directly mine like clothing and toiletries. She gave back a lot of other household items I brought to the relationship like cookware, tupperware, furniture. She just decided to keep those items she wanted like I am some effing store. She returned all gifts from my parents to her and her children as well as some items I had bought her. It was maybe foolish of me to trust someone so much prior to actually getting married but she gave little reason for me to question. No one saw this coming. I was very happy at one time. Now I feel emotionally and financially raped by a person who was never what they seem and every time I turn I am told that I have ZERO legal recourse. How the hell can people be allowed to get away with such CRIMINAL behavior towards another and that not be recognized by society??? What gives her right to things I bought for our family, yet I have NONE???

 

[Silverplum]

No the story does not change, but thanks for the sarcasm. I gave her things because I loved her, and moreso because I trusted her and our future together as my wife. When she informed me that she fell in love with another man and was leaving me for him, I began to regret having spent so much of my income, not to mention my time and my father's time renovating a house with the intention of renting it out as we bought another home, paying off her debt (as "our" debt) to be set-up for a stable financial future, and generally paying for her and her childrens (my supposed family) betterment. Now on top of all of that, I can't even recoup those few items that I would use myself, all because she just "decided" she wanted to keep them? She returned the bed she screwed another man in while I was in Afghanistan, so that I can pay for it, though I will never again use it. You tell me I have no rights to things I bought for a household I lived in and that evil woman has all the rights? The story doesn't change buddy, it is just yet another example of a person getting ripped off by unscrupulous scumbags who lie and cheat their way through life.

Your regret does not mean she owes you. You gave her stuff that is inside or attached to her home.

Say goodbye to a bad woman and be happy you didn't marry her.

If you were in the military, I'd like to thank you for your service. One of my sons had a bad engagement experience during his deployment, and is a million times happier with a good woman now. Give it time.

 

[Zigner]

That situation came about when she informed me of her having fallen in love with another man. When I had no choice but to leave the home. I currently am homeless. I got those items that were directly mine like clothing and toiletries. She gave back a lot of other household items I brought to the relationship like cookware, tupperware, furniture. She just decided to keep those items she wanted like I am some effing store. She returned all gifts from my parents to her and her children as well as some items I had bought her. It was maybe foolish of me to trust someone so much prior to actually getting married but she gave little reason for me to question. No one saw this coming. I was very happy at one time. Now I feel emotionally and financially raped by a person who was never what they seem and every time I turn I am told that I have ZERO legal recourse. How the hell can people be allowed to get away with such CRIMINAL behavior towards another and that not be recognized by society??? What gives her right to things I bought for our family, yet I have NONE???

You GAVE HER THE ITEMS. That is what gives her the rights.

I get it- you're emotionally devastated.

Learn from it.

 

[Ohiogal]

No the story does not change, but thanks for the sarcasm. I gave her things because I loved her, and moreso because I trusted her and our future together as my wife. When she informed me that she fell in love with another man and was leaving me for him, I began to regret having spent so much of my income, not to mention my time and my father's time renovating a house with the intention of renting it out as we bought another home, paying off her debt (as "our" debt) to be set-up for a stable financial future, and generally paying for her and her childrens (my supposed family) betterment. Now on top of all of that, I can't even recoup those few items that I would use myself, all because she just "decided" she wanted to keep them? She returned the bed she screwed another man in while I was in Afghanistan, so that I can pay for it, though I will never again use it. You tell me I have no rights to things I bought for a household I lived in and that evil woman has all the rights? The story doesn't change buddy, it is just yet another example of a person getting ripped off by unscrupulous scumbags who lie and cheat their way through life.

You chose her. You made the choice to give her things and pay her for things. Because you did that voluntarily as gifts, they are hers.

 

[mpizzola]

You GAVE HER THE ITEMS. That is what gives her the rights.

I get it- you're emotionally devastated.

Learn from it.

Yeah, thanks for the "empathy". Fine. I get it. Done. Sorry to waste everyone's time and believe it or not, I do appreciate the further confirmation of exactly how powerless I remain in this situation..

 

[LdiJ]

Weel perhaps "she" then is similar in mindset to a lot of other women. Men are always at fault and "deserve" what they get. Her response smacks of criticality of my version of how events unfolded. I did not join this forum simply to bitch or whine. I wanted advice for if I have any rights here. Sounds like I do not, just hard to actually believe how far out on top my ex remains while she has left me emotionally devastated and finanacially damaged. It does not sit well with me.

I would not sit well with anyone who was in your shoes. However, the fact that it doesn't sit well doesn't change legal reality. Also, lumping all women or even most women together doesn't help you or anyone else.

I could be equally critical of many men...and it wouldn't be any more appropriate of me than it is of you.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Generally speaking, you are receiving the legal reality of the situation. I understand sympathy or empathy is what you wanted, however, that is not the purpose of this forum. The reality is you appear one of many servicemen and woman, who thought they were building a life and were taken for a ride. Unfortunately, you and they trusted to easy.