+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 11 of 11
  1. #1
    drakee1 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    6

    How do I defend myself against slander

    What is the name of your state? New York
    I have had a friend for over twenty years, we were actually more than friends. Over the years, this person accused me of doing several things to him and his property such as, stealing from him. breaking into his apartment, stalking and harrassing him, breaking into his mother's apartment, and tampering with his mail. He has also accused me of being abusive. He has also accused me of having accomplicaces (these people are his ex-friends, lovers, and even people who live in his apartment complex). Because I cared deeply for this person, I wrote these accusations off to his insecurities and such. I must also state, that over the years, I have given this person thousands of dollars, as his financial situation is less than mine. Recently, his accusatons have become more demanding and threatening. About one week ago, I called him, and he started accusing me again, and finally said do not call him or contact him again. I obliged and made no phone calls to him. This past monday 6/19/06, after returning home from work, I recived a phone message from the local police department stating that he went to thier office, and made a complaint. The phone message went on to say that I am not to call or have any contact with him at all, this includes being in his neighborhood, or else the police stated that they adivsed him to call them, and that I could be arrested. I telephoned the police, and tried to explain my innocence in this matter, they did not seem to want to hear my side, but just repeated what was said on the message left by them earlier. My fear is, after so many years of accusations and his not believing me, if anyone thing should happen that he fancies to blame on me, I will be facing legal problems, which I do not need and do not deserve. What can I do in a case like this?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?
  2. #2
    BelizeBreeze is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    "Harvey and Me"
    Posts
    25,173
    You took the effort to come here, sign up, complete posting and yet have not given us any facts for which you have any recourse.

    so why bother? Stop calling him and do not stalk him and you'll be o.k.
  3. #3
    drakee1 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    6
    What facts do I need to give?
  4. #4
    BelizeBreeze is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    "Harvey and Me"
    Posts
    25,173
    Listen, you posted under slander yet have given nothing that even relates to slander. Ya think it might behoove you to provide some slanderous comment?
  5. #5
    seniorjudge is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    St. Odo of Cluny Parish
    Posts
    29,533
    Quote Originally Posted by drakee1
    What is the name of your state? New York
    I have had a friend for over twenty years, we were actually more than friends. Over the years, this person accused me of doing several things to him and his property such as, stealing from him. breaking into his apartment, stalking and harrassing him, breaking into his mother's apartment, and tampering with his mail. He has also accused me of being abusive. He has also accused me of having accomplicaces (these people are his ex-friends, lovers, and even people who live in his apartment complex). Because I cared deeply for this person, I wrote these accusations off to his insecurities and such. I must also state, that over the years, I have given this person thousands of dollars, as his financial situation is less than mine. Recently, his accusatons have become more demanding and threatening. About one week ago, I called him, and he started accusing me again, and finally said do not call him or contact him again. I obliged and made no phone calls to him. This past monday 6/19/06, after returning home from work, I recived a phone message from the local police department stating that he went to thier office, and made a complaint. The phone message went on to say that I am not to call or have any contact with him at all, this includes being in his neighborhood, or else the police stated that they adivsed him to call them, and that I could be arrested. I telephoned the police, and tried to explain my innocence in this matter, they did not seem to want to hear my side, but just repeated what was said on the message left by them earlier. My fear is, after so many years of accusations and his not believing me, if anyone thing should happen that he fancies to blame on me, I will be facing legal problems, which I do not need and do not deserve. What can I do in a case like this?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?

    [url]http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?p=884061#post884061[/url]


    There are thousands of posts similar to yours so I have prepared a standard answer:

    Get a lawyer.

    Invest $20K and three years.

    Sue the bad people for defamation.

    If you win, expect them to keep doing it.

    If you lose, expect them to keep doing it.


    Stand by for other opinions.
    There are two rules for success:

    (1) Never tell everything you know.
  6. #6
    drakee1 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    6
    I am new to this. Isnt accusing someone of all of the things I stated in my original comment slanderous, when they are not true? Or is this more defamation of character? Also, I am not necessiarly looking to file charges, I just need advice. The crux of the matter is that, NO MATTER WHAT I DO, He will accuse me, and I feel I have no recourse. And again, I am, and have not been stalking him.
  7. #7
    CdwJava is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    California
    Posts
    27,436
    Quote Originally Posted by drakee1
    I am new to this. Isnt accusing someone of all of the things I stated in my original comment slanderous, when they are not true? Or is this more defamation of character? Also, I am not necessiarly looking to file charges, I just need advice. The crux of the matter is that, NO MATTER WHAT I DO, He will accuse me, and I feel I have no recourse. And again, I am, and have not been stalking him.
    Slander would be a civil issue - and you would have to prove that he made comments KNOWING them to be false. Opinions and mistaken belief is not slander. If he made reports to the police truly believing that you were doing these things, that is lawful. Proving slander is a difficult thing and would cost you a good deal of money in a civil suit. You would also have to prove how you were damaged.

    Stay out of trouble ... do not call him, contact him in any way, and do not loan him anymore money. It should be relatively easy to stay off of his radar screen if you choose to. If he is nuts, then it's better to stay away from him anyway.

    - Carl
    A Nor Cal Cop Sergeant

    "Make mine a double mocha ...
    And a croissant!"

    Seek justice,
    Love mercy,
    Walk humbly with your God

    -- Courageous, by Casting Crowns ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM
  8. #8
    drakee1 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    6
    Quote Originally Posted by CdwJava
    Slander would be a civil issue - and you would have to prove that he made comments KNOWING them to be false. Opinions and mistaken belief is not slander. If he made reports to the police truly believing that you were doing these things, that is lawful. Proving slander is a difficult thing and would cost you a good deal of money in a civil suit. You would also have to prove how you were damaged.

    Stay out of trouble ... do not call him, contact him in any way, and do not loan him anymore money. It should be relatively easy to stay off of his radar screen if you choose to. If he is nuts, then it's better to stay away from him anyway.

    - Carl
    Thank you for your intelligent, truthful , and compassionate answer.
  9. #9
    drakee1 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    6
    Quote Originally Posted by CdwJava
    Slander would be a civil issue - and you would have to prove that he made comments KNOWING them to be false. Opinions and mistaken belief is not slander. If he made reports to the police truly believing that you were doing these things, that is lawful. Proving slander is a difficult thing and would cost you a good deal of money in a civil suit. You would also have to prove how you were damaged.

    Stay out of trouble ... do not call him, contact him in any way, and do not loan him anymore money. It should be relatively easy to stay off of his radar screen if you choose to. If he is nuts, then it's better to stay away from him anyway.

    - Carl
    Do you think I should take this person to small claims court to try to get back the money I lent him, or just let the whole thing drop and cut my losses.
  10. #10
    CdwJava is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    California
    Posts
    27,436
    Quote Originally Posted by drakee1
    Do you think I should take this person to small claims court to try to get back the money I lent him, or just let the whole thing drop and cut my losses.
    My gut says to just drop it and walk away. Only an attorney who can have access to all the details can tell you whether you have a viable chance at a civil suit to recoup your losses. There are circumstances that would imply that the money given him was a loan, and others where the circumstances would imply it was a gift.

    Sorry, but you're going to have to make this call on your own.

    - Carl
    A Nor Cal Cop Sergeant

    "Make mine a double mocha ...
    And a croissant!"

    Seek justice,
    Love mercy,
    Walk humbly with your God

    -- Courageous, by Casting Crowns ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM
  11. #11
    drakee1 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    6
    Quote Originally Posted by CdwJava
    My gut says to just drop it and walk away. Only an attorney who can have access to all the details can tell you whether you have a viable chance at a civil suit to recoup your losses. There are circumstances that would imply that the money given him was a loan, and others where the circumstances would imply it was a gift.

    Sorry, but you're going to have to make this call on your own.

    - Carl
    Thanks again for the advice. My gut is telling me the same thing, even though I think I have a case as I have canceled checks and what they were for written in the memo line of the check, but sometimes it is best just to back off.

Similar Threads

  1. How do I defend my self
    By friend777 in forum Auto Accidents and Vehicle Claims
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-24-2011, 08:53 AM
  2. How to defend myself when Pro-se on trail?
    By donaldmo1010 in forum Copyrights & Trademarks
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 02-19-2008, 10:18 PM
  3. Who can defend me?
    By raven1951 in forum Small Claims Courts
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 07-13-2005, 09:29 AM
  4. Internet Slander vs. Freedom of Speech (when will the ACLU not defend someone?)
    By Suspect24 in forum Libel / Slander / Defamation
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 04-07-2005, 02:20 PM
  5. Costs to Defend
    By shrig1 in forum Civil Litigation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 10-09-2001, 07:49 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

© 1995-2012 Advice Company, All Rights Reserved

FreeAdvice® has been providing millions of consumers with outstanding advice, free, since 1995. While not a substitute for personal advice from a licensed professional, it is available AS IS, subject to our Disclaimer and Terms & Conditions Of Use.