Can I be taken to small claims for this?

[bigspoon11]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CO

Alright, there's a lot of history in this and I will try to be brief, but it's complicated (at least to me).

Girlfriend and I were together for 4 years. She broke up with me two months ago. Long story there... pretty bummed about it. But anyways, over the course of our relationship, she helped me out financially many times. I never asked for her help. She always offered and I would decline and she would insist. It wasn't so much of an issue in our relationship about repayment because whenever I had money, I would give her some of it. For example, say I owed her $5000. I'd pay her back $2000. Then she'd help out with something else, let's say $500. Then I'd pay $1000. Then the same thing would happen, etc. One time, about this time last year, I gave her a total of $4000 at once and got the "balance" if you will down to $1000 or $1500 I think. It was going well. Then she helped me out with some more stuff (moving, etc) all on her own... she wanted me to get my own apartment and she was semi doing it with me, although not officially on the lease or anything. OK, long story.

Obviously, after the breakup, money became her primary issue and the only thing she would talk to me about. She blocked my number from even being able to call her. I tried calling from other numbers, and she called the police on me. They told me I needed to leave her alone or else she would press charges or something, etc. I backed off immediately. I don't want any trouble.

We had a verbal agreement of sorts to have me pay her $50 every two weeks when I got paid kinda. It was sort of ambiguous because when I tried to contact her about details i.e. what if I needed to reduce the amount or was unable to pay in full one week or something, that's when she called the cops on me. And so for the last three weeks I have not contact her OR sent her any money. When we first broke up, I had owed her about $3500. I paid her almost $700 since then. But when she called the cops, I backed off.

I have been struggling financially and I don't have the means to pay her. And I can't communicate this with her for fear of police involvement.

So last night, she sends me this email, out of the blue... after no contact from her for months almost... and nothing to her from me since she called the cops!

We agreed on a payment plan of $50 every two weeks until the bill is paid off. It has been three weeks since you've last paid me and I know that the new semester is starting up so you are getting a loan and taxes are too so you should be getting money. If you do not pay me back I will have to take you to court. It's not fair that I loaned you money to help you out and now that I need my money back you don't pay it. I'm sick of begging for my money. If you reply back talking about anything else besides the money that you owe me I will not hesitate to put a restraining order on you i have told you many times before that I just want my money and that is it. I wouldn't take this as all "talk" either because I have the papers to file everything if I need to do so.

I don't want to respond to her for fear of the police telling me to leave her alone, PERIOD no ifs ands or buts. And I don't want to try reasoning with her because I know her and she's not going to listen to anything I have to say. And plus, since she's threatening this kind of stuff, I don't want to give her any possible ammo and I want to tread lightly.

 

[Ohiogal]

Pay her the money you owe her. Or you will be taken to court and most likely end up with a judgment against you.

 

[bigspoon11]

Pay her the money you owe her. Or you will be taken to court and most likely end up with a judgment against you.

And if I don't have it? If she's unwilling to reason with me at all on any kind of a negotiation or payment plan? She's sort of ambiguous on the whole "pay me X amount every two weeks" and then the "I know you're getting X amount of money coming your way" thing.

She's being a LITTLE manipulative I feel... trying to use some scare tactics. Keep in mind, I AM NOT OPPOSED to paying her, as I have been making payments over the last two months. I'm not trying to rip anyone off.

It's just when you tell the police to tell me to leave me alone, I'm not going to contact you IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER because I don't want to get in trouble!

 

[Ohiogal]

And if I don't have it? If she's unwilling to reason with me at all on any kind of a negotiation or payment plan? She's sort of ambiguous on the whole "pay me X amount every two weeks" and then the "I know you're getting X amount of money coming your way" thing.

She's being a LITTLE manipulative I feel... trying to use some scare tactics. Keep in mind, I AM NOT OPPOSED to paying her, as I have been making payments over the last two months. I'm not trying to rip anyone off.

It's just when you tell the police to tell me to leave me alone, I'm not going to contact you IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER because I don't want to get in trouble!

Seriously, you owe her. Pay her or she can sue and win. You haven't paid her in three weeks. Hence, you are the one looking for a way out of paying.

 

[Proseguru]

You can always be taken to court but that doesn't necessarily mean the other party always has a case.

Or even if they win that they'll collect. But I guess eventually if you get a judgment that you'll get your money.

 

[bigspoon11]

Seriously, you owe her. Pay her or she can sue and win. You haven't paid her in three weeks. Hence, you are the one looking for a way out of paying.

You didn't understand me. I am NOT looking for a way out of paying. I just said in my last post that i was not unopposed to paying, as I have been making payments in the past.

You must have also missed the part about the police, and the threat of a restraining order. I'm treading on quicksand here, and I want to be careful. That is all. That is why I have not paid her in three weeks. ALSO because I have not had the money. And if I am ordered by the police NOT to contact her, how in the flipping world am I supposed to communicate that I do not have any money for her at this time?

 

[Jendor]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CO

I have been struggling financially and I don't have the means to pay her. And I can't communicate this with her for fear of police involvement.

Hopefully someone with some legal experience/understanding can wisely guide you on how communication works when it comes to police involvement and how you're allowed to communicate with her in terms of 'business' only on this. What I am commenting on specifically is the struggling financially. If you ever hear of a guy when it comes to OTHER financial matters, such as child support - in terms of the legal system, it doesn't care that the guy maybe only has $150 left to live on for an entire month after child support (again, I know not your situation, just an example).

Basically, she could take you to small claims, and you could end up seeing your wages garnished, and the courts aren't going to care whether you can afford to live on what's left or not. You obviously owe her the money, so what I would suggest in your situation, is find out what you can do to legally be allowed contact her in terms of payback arrangements. In the long run, keeping from being taken to small claims is likely going to benefit you. POSSIBLY you could send in writing a a certified letter with what you will be playing her her. I don't think this would be harassment or police involvement, but I do not want to guide you wrong, so would wait for input from other more experienced members in these forums.

Also... verbal agreement... that's tricky since it becomes your word against hers. Perhaps someone here in these forums can advise on how bigspoon11(OP) can go about getting a written payback agreement with her.

 

[bigspoon11]

Yea, I guess I realize the answer to my own question is that YES, you can be taken to small claims court for basically anything. I mean, whether or not your case will get heard or ruled in your favor is another thing. I should have specified that I was wanting to know if she has little proof, how much standing she will have.

ALSO, there is NOTHING showing how much exactly I owe her really. It's sort of ambiguous. My biggest fear is her trying to say I owe, say, $5000 when I only owe $2500 or something. You know? I guess the burden of proof is on the plaintiff, yea?

My fear, like the above mentioned... is the police involvement. I need to tread lightly and I am scared. I would rather NOT contact her at all and not have the police come arrest me like they threatened over the phone and risk going to small claims court over some money I owe her than to contact her and get a restraining order or police contact ON TOP of a small claims court issue...

 

[Proseguru]

well, if the police do show up, albeit doubtfully, you should not talk to them. Just close the door & ask for a lawyer if arrested. And remain silent.

 

[bigspoon11]

well, if the police do show up, albeit doubtfully, you should not talk to them. Just close the door & ask for a lawyer if arrested. And remain silent.

Absolutely. But I haven't contacted her AT ALL just like the police said. Not even a response to that email she sent about money. I don't want to take any chances. So they really have no reason to come arrest me I don't think. I didn't do anything wrong. But if she's mad about not getting money, she could always make something up to get them to come arrest me or something crazy just to get back at me or something. She's got me backed into a corner.

And even if I could pay her off ENTIRELY in full RIGHT NOW, who's to say she will agree that it's paid in full and not continue to harass me for the rest of my life for more money or something ridiculous?

 

[swalsh411]

If she outright lies to the police in an attempt to get you arrested then she has committed a crime and can face serious consequences. Do you really think she is dumb enough to do that? Furthermore how would you getting arrested help her get the money you owe? If anything it would have the opposite effect. The police aren't going to arrest you just because you owe her money.

 

[Zigner]

Perhaps our OP should send the GF $100 (to catch up) and then start sending $50 every two weeks until it is paid off, as was agreed. The GF has memorialized the agreement

 

[bigspoon11]

If she outright lies to the police in an attempt to get you arrested then she has committed a crime and can face serious consequences. Do you really think she is dumb enough to do that? Furthermore how would you getting arrested help her get the money you owe? If anything it would have the opposite effect. The police aren't going to arrest you just because you owe her money.

Well, she might not be dumb... but right now she's acting so crazy that I wouldn't put it past her to make up stuff or exaggerate something to get the police to come after me somehow. But you make a good point that if I'm arrested it's not going to get her any money any faster. Who knows if that occurs to her or not. She's trying to scare me. I don't know if I'm the only one who sees that..

Perhaps our OP should send the GF $100 (to catch up) and then start sending $50 every two weeks until it is paid off, as was agreed. The GF has memorialized the agreement

I don't want to risk getting in trouble by the police by "contacting" her and that includes sending money.

But alright, that part aside, I don't have the $100 right now! And I am not in a position to be able to afford the $50 every two weeks or whatever that we supposedly "agreed" on. We never did. It was somewhat of a tentative verbal agreement that I would pay what I could afford when I could... and the last we spoke that amount was roughly $50 every two weeks. But I couldn't even afford that so all I was sending was $25 when I could.

When I tried to contact her to discuss further financial arrangements so she would understand, the police called me and told me to stop harassing her! She blocked my number from even calling her. So what was I supposed to do?!?! And then she goes and sends me an email threatening all this stuff and that if I don't respond exactly how she wants, on her terms, she will get a restraining order on me. What the heck?

Is anyone else seeing this as sort of being crazy? I am not disputing the fact that I owe her money. And I'm not the kind of person who wouldn't pay her back if I could. The difference here is, this was never an issue throughout our 4 year relationship until she broke up with me after cheating with me and got a new boyfriend... and now she's doing this kind of stuff... calling the police and demanding her money and backing me into a corner. She knows the reason police involvement will get me to comply is because I am seeking a possible career with the law and any police activity is unfavorable and/or a complete disqualification. She's using this to her advantage. If I was unafraid of police action and being given a chance to defend myself, I wouldn't be stressing so much about this. The fact that the mere involvement of any negative police contact can ruin my career is the kicker.

And even if I won the lottery or somehow happened upon the total amount due that I owe her, who's to say she wouldn't demand more? And keep on with this threatening crap?

Does anyone see?

 

[LdiJ]

Well, she might not be dumb... but right now she's acting so crazy that I wouldn't put it past her to make up stuff or exaggerate something to get the police to come after me somehow. But you make a good point that if I'm arrested it's not going to get her any money any faster. Who knows if that occurs to her or not. She's trying to scare me. I don't know if I'm the only one who sees that..



I don't want to risk getting in trouble by the police by "contacting" her and that includes sending money.

But alright, that part aside, I don't have the $100 right now! And I am not in a position to be able to afford the $50 every two weeks or whatever that we supposedly "agreed" on. We never did. It was somewhat of a tentative verbal agreement that I would pay what I could afford when I could... and the last we spoke that amount was roughly $50 every two weeks. But I couldn't even afford that so all I was sending was $25 when I could.

When I tried to contact her to discuss further financial arrangements so she would understand, the police called me and told me to stop harassing her! She blocked my number from even calling her. So what was I supposed to do?!?! And then she goes and sends me an email threatening all this stuff and that if I don't respond exactly how she wants, on her terms, she will get a restraining order on me. What the heck?

Is anyone else seeing this as sort of being crazy? I am not disputing the fact that I owe her money. And I'm not the kind of person who wouldn't pay her back if I could. The difference here is, this was never an issue throughout our 4 year relationship until she broke up with me after cheating with me and got a new boyfriend... and now she's doing this kind of stuff... calling the police and demanding her money and backing me into a corner. She knows the reason police involvement will get me to comply is because I am seeking a possible career with the law and any police activity is unfavorable and/or a complete disqualification. She's using this to her advantage. If I was unafraid of police action and being given a chance to defend myself, I wouldn't be stressing so much about this. The fact that the mere involvement of any negative police contact can ruin my career is the kicker.

And even if I won the lottery or somehow happened upon the total amount due that I owe her, who's to say she wouldn't demand more? And keep on with this threatening crap?

Does anyone see?

I think that you are over-exaggerating the risk to you and I think that you are doing it because you don't want to pay her anything right now. She gave you permission to contact her regarding the money, there is no restraining order, therefore there is no risk if you contact her (via email) in a very businesslike manner.

You would need to stick very strictly to information about when and how you will pay her back, and in what amounts.

 

[John_DFW]

Pay the $50 every two weeks per the email.

Many banks will draft and mail checks for a small fee. If you are that concerned about contacting her, go this route as that way the communication is directly from a bank and not yourself.