13 year old daughter refuses to visit

[stealth2]

blackberry - start your own thread rather than hijacking someone else's. You'll find that you get more relevant replies, and it won't confuse anyone who's being responded to.

 

[caligirl73]

Child support whatever she wants it to cover.
C/S is to cover the basic needs of the child (food,clothing & shelter). States state this differently. I'd say that $225.00 per kid per week is very decent. It's not as if they need new clothes every week.
Your hausband DOES NOT HAVE TO PROVIDE ANYTHING ELSE other than what is in his paperwork.
If you two provide extra clothes, supplies, etc. It's a gift to the children.
I have a friend that recently stopped all the "extra's".
The CP was mad as hell. She was getting support, medical & dental (ordered) AND he was paying for 1/2 of all extra curricular activities, spending $500.00 at school time for clothes and an additional $600.00 at Christmas time for more clothes........................the CP had it made because she used the kids to manipulate him.
the NCP (your husband) does not have to do this.
Besides.........didn't she have to pay her rent, car, lights,etc before she had kids????
I mean, how much water, electricity and food can 2 pre teens use, certainly not $225.00 weekly.
Good Luck!

I wish my ex husband would give our daughter "extras". He never asks if she needs anything more nor does he bother to have things for her at his house. I pay for her medical/dental insurance even though he is court ordered to do so. I do it because I dont want the hassle of "hoping" he will pay copays and/or deductibles so that the bills wont go to collections eventually.
He is married to a gal with 3 girls. The youngest child is about a year older than our daughter. My ex asks constantly if I will send our daughter over with a few toys so that she has something to play with at his house the weekends she visits. I have sent her with a few things she picked out to bring over there. But, my argument is that if the youngest stepchild is playing with pretty much the same toys our daughter does, why can she not share?? If she is not wanting to share, then why cant he go out and buy a few toys for our daughter to have there? It just seems petty that he cannot provide his child with a few things to play with or ask the stepchild to share.
Back to what was quoted above, why is it you feel that what your husband may buy the children is considered "extras"??? Those are his kids and he should do whatever he can for them. I go without buying new things for a long while so that my kids can have new school clothes, shoes and supplies. I dont get child support for my son, so I have to do for him on my own. I dont have a problem with it though. I do get minimal child support every month for my daughter, most of which goes to before/after school care. But, I still do a lot for my kids without much help from others. I do it out of love for my kids.
Although your husband doesnt have to buy the kids "extras", if that is what you choose to do, then there shouldnt be a b*tch fit about it. Maybe, just maybe his kids will be thankful that Dad thought of them enough to buy them some nice goodies. Maybe they will see that Dad isnt being selfish when it comes to them. Maybe one day down the road they will thank him for being as kind and loving as he has been. Just a thought...

 

[SMURFEELAW]

I wish my ex husband would give our daughter "extras". He never asks if she needs anything more nor does he bother to have things for her at his house. I pay for her medical/dental insurance even though he is court ordered to do so. I do it because I dont want the hassle of "hoping" he will pay copays and/or deductibles so that the bills wont go to collections eventually.
He is married to a gal with 3 girls. The youngest child is about a year older than our daughter. My ex asks constantly if I will send our daughter over with a few toys so that she has something to play with at his house the weekends she visits. I have sent her with a few things she picked out to bring over there.

In a sense I know how you feel. When I first came back into my fiances life his ex wife had just picked up and moved two months previously. The ex had taken everything of his daughters (twice---> she left, he bought all new stuff, they reconciled she showed up to the divorce hearing that he thought they were dropping and a day after the divorce she took all the new stuff he had bought) He had to buy all new stuff before he could even get visitation I mean she took the beds all the clothes all the toys all the tvs and movies, dishes etc she did leave his bed and weights. So he had to buy all new stuff and begin paying a pretty hefty child support amount b/c he couldn't get it lowered for the amount of time he had visitation since he couldn't get visitation until he got the stuff. Yeah nice round robin there. Anyway he had the essentials by the time I came in. Our families have gotten together and really tried to re-stock in almost three years I feel we have gone overboard. She is a little spoiled but does not act that way most the time . Anyway recently the ex tells us we have to bring alot of her stuff and clothes because she can't afford it and on the Christmas ex didn't have her she didn't buy her anything and told us to send all our santa gifts home with her so she would have toys. Problem---> ANYTHING WE SEND NEVER COMES BACK. Besides that up until now we have the child every other week so she needs her stuff here. Recently other things have gone on to make me glad we didn't give in and send all her clothes and toys b/c we will probably have her full time except every other weekend. Ex tried to even get the child involved in getting the stuff but child tells us she wants her stuff with us cause her brother steals it or mommy puts it away for a present later. Ex is crazy. Anyway but your ex he is being petty he should have at least a few outfits and toys that are his daughters alone. Sometimes people can't see that all they do is hurt the child when they act this way. Good luck to you.

 

[caligirl73]

Anyway but your ex he is being petty he should have at least a few outfits and toys that are his daughters alone. Sometimes people can't see that all they do is hurt the child when they act this way. Good luck to you.[/QUOTE]



I feel that way, but obviously my ex and his wife dont. I am amazed how some parents can be so selfish when it comes to the kids.
My fiance has 50/50 custody of his son. He pays his ex wife $800 a month for child support and $500 a month for alimony. He pays for all of his son's extra curricular activities, clothes to have while his son is visiting with him, shoes, equipment for sports, bike, electric scooter, you name it. Yet his ex b*tches and moans that $800 is just not enough a month. Come on!!! How much could a 9 yr. old really be that she cannot make it on $800 a month plus alimony she gets? She has a full time job and lives with her folks. Please....

 

[splcstr2001]

To my knowledge................NO.
The "extra's" are to come out of C/S. The only thing that I know that she can do is have the C/S reconfigured.
In my state, C/S is reviewed every 3 years, but at the request of the CP.
As I stated before, If it is not in the paperwork, he does not have to do anymore than that.
Why can't she get what she needs at $200.00 a week?
Sounds like C/P is playing your hubby!!!!
GOOD LUCK!!

 

[bamagirl36]

cs

To my knowledge................NO.
The "extra's" are to come out of C/S. The only thing that I know that she can do is have the C/S reconfigured.
In my state, C/S is reviewed every 3 years, but at the request of the CP.
As I stated before, If it is not in the paperwork, he does not have to do anymore than that.
Why can't she get what she needs at $200.00 a week?
Sounds like C/P is playing your hubby!!!!
GOOD LUCK!!

{QUOTE=Bamagirl36}I live in Alabama. I recieve C/S for my 13 yr. old daughter,and have been getting the same amount for 12 1/2yrs.I only recieve $180.a month on 4wk.months,$225.on 5wk.months,that is around $46.a week.If I recieved $200.a week,I would never complain. What I get doesn't even begin to cover her needs,I pay for everything else that the $180. doesn't,she has asthma,her meds.are more than $180.a month. I believe I should be getting more. Opinions? Should I ask for more? Her father makes about $11.an hour,and gets paid weekly. I only make$5.85 an hour,and get paid every 2 weeks.